好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E22
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:19 p.m.
ls there gonna be dancing?
今天晚上会有跳舞吗?
I think so Terrific.
我想是的 可怕
Do you know how to dance? Not exactly.
你知道怎么跳舞吗? 不太清楚
Don't worry,it's easy to fake.
别担心 很容易掩饰的
The thing to remember
记住
is the more you move your arms,the stupider you look.
胳膊动得越多 越显得你蠢
Oh,that is so not true.
哦 才没那回事呢
Just keep it simple and you'll be fine Okay.
只要保持简练就ok啦 好的
Besides,the critical time is between dances.
此外 跳舞间隔时才是关键时刻
What do you mean?
啥意思?
That's when you talk.More precisely,you get her to talk.
是你交谈的时间 最好是由你带动话题
About what?
说啥?
Doesn't matter.You won't be listening anyway.
啥都行 反正你也不会听
Oh,Charlie Just drive the car.
哦 查理 开你的车
Yeah,Dad,this is important.
对 老爸 这很关键
Keep in mind,you're not looking to score night
记住 别想着今晚就达阵得分
You're getting into the batter's box.
你不过是在争取击球手的位置
Wendy doesn't like sports.
温迪不喜欢运动
You're missing the point.
我是在打比方
She plays violin.
她拉小提琴
Listen to me.
听我说
Your goal for the party tonight is to convince Wendy you're a mature,
你今晚派对的目的在于让温迪·曹深信
sophisticated guy who sees her not just as a woman
你是个成熟 老练的男人 并非只把她当成一个女的
but as a complete human.Got it?
而是将她视为独♥立♥的人 明白吗?
I think so Good.
瞭解 很好
I'm not going.
我不去了
Hey,hey,not only are you gonna go...
嘿 嘿 你不仅会去
it'll be a night you'll remember for the rest of your life.
今晚还将成为你毕生难忘的夜晚
That's what I'm afraid of.
这就是我所害怕的
Oh,oh,this is nice.
哦 哦 这件不错
Yeah,sure,if he's doing the other kids' taxes.
是啊 当然 如果他是 给其他孩子报稅的人的话
It's a timeless style.
这可是永恒款式
No,it just seems timeless when you're not getting laid.
不 穿上它只会永远泡不到妞
Put it back.
放回去
This is cool.
这件很帅
Yeah.Just one question.
是啊 只有一个问题
Is your Wendy Cho a voodoo priestess?
你说的温迪·曹是伏都教的教♥徒♥吗?
No,I think she's Chinese.
不 我想她是中国人
Put it back.
放回去
There's something to be said for letting him make his own choices.
知道吗 我想说 让他自己做选择
Oh,that's a bunch of crap.He's an idiot.
哦 一堆废话 他是个白♥痴♥
If we let him,he'd go to that party in a Viking helmet and a cape.
如果任由他决定 他会戴着海盗帽盔 披着斗篷去派对的
Here we go.
耶 这件对了
Don't even think about it.
想都别想
What?It says,"I've got a little money,but I'm not a corporate drone."
咋了?穿上这件 仿佛在说 "我有点小钱 但我不是个无趣的人"
No,it says,"I'm pushing 40 and I can't deal with it."
不 仿佛是在说 "我要奔4了 真没办法接受"
All right,maybe the kid needs his own look.
好吧 也许还是让孩子自己选吧
Jake,come here What?
杰克 过来 咋啦?
Just stand there.
站在这就行了
Let's try and visualize what your personal style might be.
让我们来想像一下你是哪种款型的人
Okay.
好的
Maybe we should start with the haircut.
也许我们应该从头发开始
Oh,my,has Mommy been trimming your hair with her teeth?
哦 天啊 你头发是不是被 老妈用牙修整过?
No
哪有
Not to worry,Ricky loves a challenge.
别担心 里奇喜欢挑战
I'm guessing Ricky also loves pretending he's a taffy apple.
我猜里奇也喜欢掩饰自己是基佬
Wanna take him to your guy with the shaky hands
想带你儿子去那个双手乱颤
and a signed picture of Desi Arnaz?
还贴了德西·阿纳慈的簽名照的那家?
Desi Arnaz had beautiful hair.
德西·阿纳慈的头发很漂亮
So,Charles,do we have a game plan
那么 查尔斯 打算剪成啥样的
or shall I just follow my muse?
或者按我的灵感来?
Can I get a Mohawk? No.
能给我理个小贝的发型吗? 不行
We should go for something young and hip.
我想咱们应该选个年轻时髦的发型
Like your hairstyle? Sure,why not?
喜欢你自己的发型吗? 当然了 为什么不?
You'd have to kill me.
你杀了我吧
Just tighten it up a little.Nothing extreme.
稍微修短点 不许弄夸张
Can you make it purple? No.
能帮我染成紫色吗? 不行
Oh,man.
哦 伙计
Relax.Ricky knows what he's doing.He's been cutting my hair for years.
放松 里奇知道自己在干嘛 他帮我剃了好多年头发
What if I don't wanna look like you?
如果我不想看上去和你一样呢?
What's wrong with the way I look? Nothing.
我看上去咋不好了? 没啥
If you're a statue in front of a Big Boy restaurant.
如果你只是Big Boy餐馆 门前的雕像的话
Are you freaking kidding me? Charlie.
你丫开什么玩笑呢? 查理
The kid should be so lucky We'll wait over here.
伙计 这孩子应该感到幸运才对 我们会在那边等你
I'm buying the little wise-ass a $75 haircut
我花75美元给这小鬼头理发
and he's taking shots at me?
他居然还奚落我
You said it,he has to find his own look.
你自己说的 他得找到适合自己的造型
Yeah,let him find it on somebody else's MasterCard.
是啊 让他用其他人的信♥用♥卡♥去找吧
Look at his point of view What's his point of view?
现在 看看他的观点 他的观点是什么?
Well,put overalls on you and you do kind of look like the Big Boy.
一切都依赖与你喽 不过你的确有点像Big Boy雕像
Stand like this for me.
摆这个姿势给我看看
Shut up.
闭嘴
By the way,did you have the talk with him?
对了 你和他谈过那话题了吗?
Oh,sure.I mean,well,we've had a talk.
哦 当然 我是说 我们谈过了
Covered the basics.
基础知识都谈了
He knows where babies come from.How they got there.
他知道宝宝是从哪来的 且是如何来的
That's all?
就这些?
He's going to this party clueless about how much fun he can have
他就要参加派对了 却完全不知自己能找多少乐子
between "Hi" and "What do you mean,you missed your period?"
就在"嗨 你好吗" 和"你说你错过了 经期是啥意思"的问话中
Charlie,it's a kids' party.Pizza,soft drinks,a little dancing.
查理 这是小孩的派对 披萨 饮料 跳个舞
Oh,really?You know what I was doing at his age?
哦 真的吗?知道我在他那么大时 在干嘛吗?
I don't wanna hear it You sure?
我不想听 真的?
It involves Shoshana Wasserstein.
和苏珊纳·沃瑟斯坦有关哦
You danced with Shoshana Wasserstein?
你和苏珊纳·沃瑟斯坦跳舞了?
Actually,that's one thing we didn't do.
事实上 这是我们唯一没做的事
Nevertheless,I'm Jake's father.
但我是杰克的爸爸
I believe childhood should be a time of innocence.
而且我刚好相信童年应该是纯真的年代
I agree.Childhood should be a time of innocence.
我同意 童年应该是纯真的年代
And Bambi's mother shouldn't die.
而且小鹿斑比的妈妈不应该过逝
Lap dances should be complimentary after the fifth cocktail.
点了5杯鸡尾酒后 应该免费赠送辣身舞
But that's not the world we live in.
但那不是我们所生活的世界
This party tonight is the initial round in a
今晚的派对将是人生中的
lifelong process of sexual elimination.
第一轮性淘汰
Oh,really? Think of it as musical chairs.
哦 真的吗? 把它想像成"抢板凳"的游戏
But when the music stops,
区别是 当音乐停止时
the guys who have a clue are sitting on a woman instead of a chair.
精明的男人就能在女人上 而不是凳子上
The guys who have no clue,they'll spend their teenage years...
没头绪的男人 他们的少年时代将...
Well,I certainly don't need to tell Dungeon Master Alan.
哦 有必要和大♥师♥级土人艾伦说这个吗
Come on,Jake,we're gonna be late for the party.
快点 杰克 派对要迟到了
I'm ready.
准备好了
It's very nice Yeah,I think we're good.
真潇洒 是啊 我想咱们准备得不错
Turn around.
转一圈
You're supposed to take the price tag off.
你应该把标签给摘下来
But you said it was good to be seen in expensive clothes.
但你说 让人家看见你穿着 昂贵的衣服才好
You still want him to learn from his mistakes?
你还想让他从自己的错误中学习进步吗?
Fine.Can we go now? Hang on.
好了 可以走了吗? 等等
Let's see the dance moves.
来看看舞步先
Don't stare at your shoes,eyes on the girl at all times.
别盯着你的鞋子 眼睛每时每刻都要盯着女孩子
Pretend you care.
装出一副关注的样子
Good.Good.Good.Now...
很好 很好 很好
how do you stand when you know Wendy's looking at you?
当你发现温蒂看着你时 你该怎么站著?
That's it.A little head bob.
正点 动动脑袋
Show me the sleepy eyes.
来点困倦的眼神
I said sleepy,not brain-dead.
是困倦的 不是脑死亡
All right.
好了
Who's the man? I'm the man.
谁是男子汉? 我是
Who's the man? I'm the man.
谁是男子汉? 我是男子汉
Okay,let's go get them.
好的 泡马子去
Alan I'm coming.
艾伦 来了
Try the house with the balloons tied to the mailbox.
就找信箱上绑了气球的房♥子
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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