好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E07
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:15 p.m.
Hang on,dear.
等等 亲爱的
Hello?
你好?
Alan.Oh,good,I'm glad you're home.
艾伦 哦好 我很高兴你在家
Listen,uh,
听着 嗯
I'm in the neighborhood,and I know how Charlie hates it
我在附近 我知道查理有多讨厌
when I just drop in unannounced,
当我不事先打招呼就过来
so I thought I'd call first.
所以我想打个电♥话♥先
I'll let him know.
我会让他知道的
Charlie,Mom's coming over.
查理妈妈要过来
Tell her I'm not here.
告诉她我不在
Hi,sweetie.
嗨 甜心
Oh,hello,Rose. Hi,Evelyn.
哦 你好 萝丝 好啊 伊夫琳
Daddy,this is Charlie's mom,Evelyn.
爸爸 这是查理的妈妈 伊夫琳
Evelyn,this is my father,Harvey.
伊夫琳 这是我的爸爸 哈维
Harvey,nice to meet you.
哈维 很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you.
很荣幸见到你
So what are we talking about?
那么 我们正在谈什么呢?
Well,Charlie and I got hammered last night,
好吧 查理 和我昨晚上一起玩
and then somebody suggested a sponge bath...
然后什么人建议海绵泡泡浴...
It might've been me.
也许是我
And then we ended up spending the night together.
然后我们就一起过了一夜
I see.
我明白了
Are you as proud of yours as I am of mine?
你是不是对你女儿自豪 就和我对自己儿子一样
Well,you know,you do the best you can to raise them,
好吧 你知道 你尽最大努力养育他们
but,in the end,they drive down life's highway on their own.
但是 最后他们还是过着自己的生活
Isn't that the truth.I think God gives us children
你说得太对了 我认为上帝给我们孩子
so death won't come as such a disappointment.
所以死亡的时候不会太失望
So,Evelyn...
那么伊夫琳...
are you married?
你结婚了吗?
Not at the moment.
目前没有
Why?What'd you have in mind?
为什么?你脑子里在想些什么?
Well,maybe we could start with a little dinner.
好吧 也许我们可以从小小的晚餐开始
Sounds good.
听上去不错
But how do you want to finish?
但是你想怎么结束
Simultaneously.
同时
Oh,he's good.
哦 他对女人很有一套
Hello.Oh,hi,Mom.
你好 哦 妈妈
Hold on.Alan!
等一下 艾伦!
Yeah? Get the door.
什么是? 去开门
Boys,we have a problem.
孩子们 我有个问题
We need to talk.
我们需要谈谈
What's going on?
出什么事了?
We haven't seen you in a couple of days.
我们有些天没见到你了
Not that we're complaining. Merely an observation.
不是说我们抱怨 仅仅是观察
Well,as you know,I have been seeing Rose's father.
好吧 你们知道 我最近在和萝丝的父亲约会
Uhhuh. And how's that going?
哦 啊哈 进行得怎么样?
At first it was wonderful.
开始的时候是美妙的
He was handsome,charming,and a raging bull in the sack.
他很英俊 有魅力 上♥床♥时就像愤怒的公牛
No mental pictures.Push 'em out.
不要头脑中的印象 把他们赶出去
Don't give them to me.
别把那些[脑海中的印象]给我
But what I didn't realize
但是 我没有认识到的是
is the man has the emotional stability of a bag of rats in a burning meth lab.
这个男人的精神状态就像兴♥奋♥剂♥实验室里的一袋老鼠
What'd he do? It's what he didn't do.
他做了什么? 问题是他没做什么
Okay,what didn't he do? Leave.
好吧 他没做什么? 离开.
A couple of days of Viagra-enhanced boinking,
就几天伟哥帮助下的发♥生♥关♥系♥
and he suddenly thinks he lives with me.
他突然就以为他和我一起住了
He's moving my furniture around!
他正把我的家俱移来移去!
He's getting his mail forwarded.
他要把邮件地址改成我的
He had a satellite dish installed.
他安装了一个卫♥星♥电♥视♥接收器
Did he get the NFL package?
他有没有附加国家橄榄球联盟的节目?
Charlie,please,this is not funny.
查理 求你了 这不好笑
This man is obsessed with me.
这个男人对我着迷了
He will not let me out of his sight.
他不愿让我离开他的视线
Wherever I go,there he is
无论我走到哪里 他就跟到哪里
with a stupid,love-smitten look on his face.
脸上带着愚蠢的情深款款的表情
You just want to hit him with a shovel.
你就恨不得用铁楸打他
Well,what do you want us to do?
好吧 你想我们怎么做
Come over to my house and hit him with a shovel.
去我的房♥子 用铁楸打他
Wouldn't it be easier to keep feeding him Viagra until he strokes out?
是不是这样更容易 喂他伟哥 直到他中风
Charlie,don't be ridiculous.That could take months.
查理 别胡说八道 那要花数月的时间
Come on,now,guys,think.How can I get is loon out of my house?
来吧 现在 大家 想想我怎么 才能把这个神经病赶出房♥子
I say we bring insome expert help.
我说我们请教专家的帮助
Way ahead of you.Rose!
早就想到了 萝丝!
Yes,Charlie?
在 查理?
Road trip.
上路了
Oh,goody,I'll meet you in the garage.
噢 好的 我在车♥库♥等你
Daddy?
爸爸?
Oh,Rose,good,you got my change of address card.
哦 萝丝 太好了 收到我改地址的卡片了
And there's my other favorite gal.
还有这里是我另一个最喜欢的女孩
Hello,Harvey.
你好 哈维
Where were you,puddin'pop?I was worried sick.
你刚才到哪里去了 我可爱的小布丁?我都急得生病了.
I just went out.
我就是出去了
I didn't see you leave.
我没看到你离开啊
That's because I climbed out the laundry room window.
那是因为我爬洗衣房♥的窗户出去的
Oh,aren't you a limber little minx?
哦 你是多么苗条的美人儿啊
Daddy,we need to talk.
爸爸 我们要谈谈
Yes,right away,honey.Hey,fellas!
好 马上就来 亲爱的.嗨 大家!
Are you ready for some football?
你们准备看些橄榄球吗?
Evie,why don't you get our guests some cold drinks?
埃薇 你为什么不给我们的客人送上些冰冻饮料?
Yes,of course,dear.
是的 当然 亲爱的
Garden shed,shovel,bag of lime.
花♥园♥小屋 铁楸 一袋石灰
Daddy,listen to me very closely. Okay.
爸爸 来和我说下悄悄话 好的
You don't live here.
你不住在这里
Yes,I do.Look at me.
不 我住在这里的 看看我
We've been through this before,remember?
我们以前经历过一样的事情 记得吗?
The pretty receptionist at your psychiatrist's office?
那个漂亮的接待员 在你的精神病医生的?
Oh,yeah.Cheryl.
噢 是的 谢丽尔
She had a mean lawyer.
她的律师很刻薄
Well,this is different.
好吧 这次不同
Evelyn and I are in love,and we're gonna get married.
伊夫琳和我相爱了 我们要结婚了
Isn't that right,puddin'pop?
我说得对吗 我可爱的小布丁?
Not if you were the last crazy man on earth.
除非你是地球上最后一个疯男人
Guys,feel free to call me "Dad."
大家 叫我 "爸爸" 不用拘束
I couldn't. No,thank you.
我不行 不了 谢谢
Daddy,pay attention.
爸爸 注意
Okay.
好吧
I know what it feels like to be so in love with someone
我知道如此爱某个人是什么感觉
you want to crawl inside them
你想爬到他身体里去
so that you're wearing their skin like a leotard with nipples.
那样你就穿着他的皮肤 就像有咪♥咪♥的紧身连衣裤
But what I've learned is that
但我学到的是
not everyone is ready for that kind of intimacy.
不是每个人都准备好那种亲密关系的
Take me and Charlie,for example.
拿我和查理做例子
We slept together two years ago,
我们两年前在一起睡过
realized how much better we were as friends,
明白我们做朋友会好多少
and we haven't done it again since.
我们从那以后就没做过
We haven't?
我们没有?
You were too drunk.
你醉得太厉害了
I was gonna tell you eventually.
我最后总会告诉你的
Why'd you let me think we did?
为什么你让我以为我们做过了?
Because it doesn't make any difference.
因为这样没有区别
I'm in this for the long haul.
我这样是为了长远打算
You know,sweetheart,when Evie and I get married,
你知道 甜心 当我和埃薇结婚后
Charlie will be your stepbrother.
查理就是你的继兄长了
Oh,I didn't think of that.
噢 我还没想到那个呢
Ooh,tres kinky.
哦 非常古怪哦
Rose,stick with the plan.
萝丝 坚持原定计划
Okay.Daddy I didn't want to have to do this,
爸爸 我不想这么做的
but I brought someone else here to talk to you.
我带了别人到这里来和你谈谈
Who?
谁?
Come on in,Grandma!
进来 奶奶!
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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