好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E20
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:19 p.m.
Could you just tell Kandi I'm here?
能不能告诉康迪我在这儿?
Okay.Kandi,my dad's here.
好吧 康迪 我爸爸来了
What do you want,Alan? I wanna talk to Kandi.
你要怎么样 艾伦? 我想跟康迪谈谈
I don't think that's a good idea. Why not?
我觉得不太好 为什么不好?
She's a sweet,innocent girl.
因为她是一个可爱纯洁的女孩
I don't want you to ruin her life too.
我不想你把她的生活也毁了
Too?How did I ruin your life?
"也"字怎么讲?我怎么毁了你的生活?
You stole my youth. You took my house.
你偷了我的青春 你拿了我的房♥子
That seems like a fair trade.
看起来挺公平的
Face it.Alan.This escapade with Kandi is
面对现实吧 艾伦你对康迪出轨的整件事
just a pathetic attempt to find a younger version of me.
不过是你 可悲的试图想找个年轻版的我
Are you kidding?Judith,
你没开玩笑吧?朱蒂斯.
I had a younger version of you
我拥有过年轻版的你
and let me tell you,it was no great shakes.
我告诉你 没什么大不了的
It's okay,Judith.I'll talk to him.
没关系的 朱蒂斯.我来跟他谈
Oh,sweet,he doesn't want to talk to you.
噢 亲爱的 他不是真的想跟你谈
There's only one thing a man is interested in.
这种人只对一件事感兴趣
What?
什么?
Forget it.I'm here if you need me.
算了 需要的时候叫我
Hello,Alan.
你好 艾伦
Listen,Kandi,I'm really sorry about our fight.
听着 康迪 我真很抱歉跟你吵架
I know I can be a little bit of a control freak and...
我知道有时候我的控制欲太强
But I honestly care for you...
但是我是真的关心你
and I hope you'll give me another chance.
我希望你能再给我一个机会
I see.
明白了
Excuse me.
不好意思
I can't let you steal my youth.
我不能让你偷走我的青春
You're not fooling anybody,Judith.
你愚弄不了別人的 朱蒂斯
Come on,Kandi,tell me what you think.
拜托 康迪 告诉我你是怎么想的
Okay.
好吧
I think we've reached an implants in our relationship.
我觉得咱们的关系有了隔阂
Impasse.
僵局
I think we've reached an impasse in our relationship.
我觉得咱们的关系出现了僵局
Goodbye.
再见
Excuse me,is this Judith Harper's house?
不好意思 这是朱蒂斯·哈珀的房♥子么?
Yeah.She traded it for her youth.
对 用她的青春换的
Hi,Daddy. Hi,sweetheart.
嗨 爸爸 嗨 亲爱的
Come on in.Judith can't wait to meet you.
进来 朱蒂斯等不及要见你了
I can't wait to meet her.
我也等不及要见她了
I know you two are gonna love each other.
我就知道你们肯定会喜欢对方的
I watch one donkey sex show and you make me pay for it the rest of my life.
我只不过看了一次驴子嘿♥咻♥ 而你就要让我用余生来偿还
Who is it?
谁啊?
Don't screw with me,Charlie.We need to talk.
別跟我闹了 查理 我们得谈谈
Give me a sec.
等一下
Charlie,you're just making it tighter.
查理 你绑的太紧了
Oh,the hell with it.
噢 见鬼
Come on in,Alan.
进来吧 艾伦
Hey there. Hiya.
你好 你好
You know,I can come back. It's okay,Alan.
我一会再来 没关系的 艾伦
Come,sit.
过来 坐
All right.
好吧
So how did it go with Kandi?
康迪那边儿进行的怎么样?
If it had gone well do you think I'd be sitting here
如果顺利的话你觉得我会回来
talking to two half-naked people?
跟两个半裸的人谈吗?
Alan? What?
艾伦? 什么?
I'm completely naked.
我是全♥裸♥的
What happened,Alan?
怎么了 艾伦?
Well,as I suspected,Judith has turned your daughter against me.
我发现 朱蒂斯已经让你的女儿彻底讨厌我了
Well,I'm not surprised.Kandi's always been very suggestible.
不奇怪 康迪耳根子很软的
You know,until she was 8 she thought this was her nose.
八岁的时候 她还以为这是她的鼻子
That's kind of cute.
真可爱
When Alan was 8,I convinced him he only had two weeks to live.
艾伦8岁的时候 我让他确信 他只能活两个星期了
But I suppose that tells you more about me than him.
但是我还是想跟你多说点我的
Yeah,good times.
是啊 想当年
But back to recent events...
好吧 先说眼前的事
Remember when I told you the cat-litter box was filled with Almond Roca?
你还记得我跟你说那个猫粮桶里是 杏仁糖吗
He ate four of them.
他吃了四块儿呢
Are we done visiting Charlie Harper's Museum of Sibling Cruelty?
查理·哈珀家族的手足相残的历史回顾结束了吗?
Because I have something to talk about.
因为我想说点儿事儿
Oh,I'm sorry.
噢 我很抱歉
I didn't realize I was interrupting you.
没意识到 我打断你了
Go ahead,Alan.
继续 艾伦
Thank you.
谢谢
So as I was leaving my ex-wife's house I ran into your ex-husband.
在我离开我前妻的房♥子时 我撞见了你的前夫
Andy?
安迪?
I guess. Wait a second.
我想是吧 等一下
It's Mandi,Andy and Kandi?
这么说是曼迪 安迪 还有康迪?
What's your point?
你想说什么?
No point.
没什么
Mandi,Andy,Kandi.
曼迪 安迪 康迪
Dandy.
丹迪
Anyway,it appears as
看起来 康迪给
if Kandi has set my ex-wife up on a blind date with him.
我的前妻和你的前夫安排了一次相亲
How nice.
多好啊
Nice?How is that nice?
好?怎么个好法?
Well,he's been kind of depressed since we broke up.
我们分手之后他一直很低落
It's good to see he's getting back on the horse.
看来他又要重新跨上马背了[重整旗鼓]
But that horse is my ex-wife.
可惜那匹马是我前妻
Speaking of which,did you ever see The Bride and the Burro in Tijuana?
对了 你在提华纳看没看过"新娘与驴"?
See it?
看见?
I caught the bouquet.
我可是接住了花束
So did Alan.
艾伦也是
Always a bridesmaid,never a burro.
从来都是伴娘不是驴
Charlie,I'm starting to lose feeling in my arm.
查理 我的胳膊已经麻了
Oh,l' m sorry.
噢 对不起
Hey,you went pretty far in the scouts.Can you undo this knot?
嘿 你的监视工作做的不错 你能解开这个么?
Gee,actually,I specialized in lndian lore.
实际上 我比较擅长印度文化
Beaded belts,arrowheads.But,good luck though.
串珠链 箭头啊一类的 祝你好运
Maybe you should go get a pair of scissors.
你应该拿把剪子来
Hang on,let me untie my feet.
等一下 我先把脚解开
We really didn't think this through,did we?
我们完全没想到会这样的 对吧?
So has your mom been seeing a lot of Kandi's dad?
你妈妈跟康迪的爸爸见了很多次面?
That's right.
对
If she married him,Kandi would be your stepsister.
如果他们俩结婚了 康迪 就是你的姐姐了
Hey,hey,hey,do you happen to know if they're going out tonight?
嘿 嘿 你知道他们今晚出不出去吗?
Yep,if I married Kandi,she would be your stepmother.
对 如果我跟 康迪结婚 她就是你的继母
But...
但是...
But tonight...is your mom going out tonight?
今晚...你妈妈出去么?
Yeah,yeah,I get it.
好的 好的 我明白了
If Kandi took a poop,it would be your step-stool.
如果康迪去大便 拉出来的就是你的便便亲戚
All right,well...
好吧
it's always good to talk to you.
很高兴和你交谈
Love you,buddy.
我爱你 哥们儿
Did you get all that,Berta?
都听见了么 波塔?
I think so,but let's do a quick recap.
是的 但咱们来重新理一遍
Your girlfriend's living with your ex-wife.
你的女朋友和你的前妻住在一起
Your ex-wife's dating your girlfriend's father.
你的前妻在跟你女友的爸爸在约会
To top it off,you're trying to get useful intelligence
最后 你要从一个孩子有限的
from a kid who's got precious little to spare.
理解力上获取信息
Okay,just checking.
只是试试
Hey,Berta.
嘿 波塔
I want you to meet Mandi.Mandi,Berta.
这是曼迪 曼迪 这是波塔
-Hi. -Bonjor te
你好.[法语]很高兴见到你
Listen...
听着
we got a pair of scissors handy?
有没有剪子?
Oh,Charlie,that's a silk tie.
噢 查理 这可是条绸子领带
Why didn't you use one of the poly blends?
你为什么不用涤纶的?
Hey,hey,wait a minute,that's my tie.You ruined my tie.
嘿 等等 这是我的领带 你弄坏我的领带
Oh,yeah.
噢 对了
You're not gonna be happy about your electric toothbrush either.
估计你知道了你的电动牙刷 你就更不会开心了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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