好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S03E22

Part 3 Nov. 17, 2020, 12:19 p.m.

Oh,right.
哦对
Okay,let's go.
好了咱们走
Where are you going?
你要上哪去?
I wanna meet her parents,say hello,
我想去见她父母打声招呼
find out when to pick you up.
定好时间来接你
Alan,you take one step out this car
艾伦你要敢走出车子一步
I will beat your brains out with a tire iron.
我就拿铁杠爆了你的头
Thank you,Uncle Charlie.
谢谢查理叔叔
Have fun.
玩开心点
Call my cell when you want me to pick you Up.
要我来接你时就打我手♥机♥
There he goes.
上阵去了
My son is attending his first boy-girl party.
我儿子正要出席他的首个男女生派对
Who's that opening the door?
开门的是谁?
Oh,oh,that's Wendy Cho.
哦哦就是温迪·曹
Oh,good,she's cute.The kid's got taste.
哦好极了她很可爱有品位的孩子
But she's like a foot taller than him.
不过她好像比杰克高一英尺
That's all right.
没关系
When they slow dance,his head will be perfectly positioned.
等他们慢舞时他的头正好对着她的胸部
Oh,get your mind out of the gutter.
哦别老琢磨这些淫秽的东西
Right,like you never copped a feel with your ear?
是啊好像你没用耳朵袭过胸似的
No.
没有
Okay,once with Aunt Sophie.
好吧就一次和索菲阿姨那次
But that was an accident.
但那是个意外
You know what I'm talking about.
那你知道我在说什么吧
Oh,yeah.
哦是啊
Here you go. Thank you.
你们的来了谢谢
Oh,looks good.
哦看起来不错
She's pretty,huh?
她很漂亮吧?
Yeah,I guess.
我想是的
What's the matter with you?
你怎么了?
What if I sent him out there too soon?
万一我送他去那种场合过早了怎么办?
What if he's not ready?
万一他还没准备好呢?
Don't beat yourself,you did everything you could.
别老责怪自己你已经尽力而为了
There just wasn't enough time,damn it.
准备的时间太少了该死
It's out of our hands.We let nature take its course.
这是我们无法控制的还是顺其自然吧
Sounds good,unfortunately nature keeps telling him to scratch his ass.
听起来不错不幸的是自然只会不停的叫他抓屁♥股♥
It's Jake God,I knew it.Give me that.
哦是杰克天啊我就知道把电♥话♥给我
No,no,no,I got it.
不不不我来接
Hey,what's up,buddy?
嘿还好吗伙计?
He wants to come home.
他想回家
Why?He just got there.
为什么?他才刚到那
Why?You just got there.
为什么?你才刚去那
He says it's personal.
他说是个人原因
Give me that.
给我电♥话♥
Jake,Jake,I'm gonna talk you through this.
杰克杰克我用电♥话♥指导你
Just pipe down and listen.
别吵听好了
Finish your cookie later.
等会再吃你的曲奇
Where's Wendy Cho right now?
温迪·曹现在在哪?
How many girls is she talking to?
她在和几个女孩说话?
Okay,okay,you gotta split her from the herd.
好的好的你得想办法把她从人群中隔离出来
Walk over and say you have something to ask her.
走过去说你有事问她
Then take her hand and lead her away from her friends.
然后拉着她的手将她带离那些朋友
Okay,then put the cookie down first.
好了那先放下手里的曲奇
Now,when you have some privacy,
等你们有了私人空间后
I want you to look her in the eye and say you were lying.
我要你看着她的眼睛告诉她你刚才在骗她
You just wanted to be alone with her.
你只是想和她单独呆会
It will too work.
绝对管用
All right,call me back.
好了再打给我
God,I just wish I could be there with him.
天啊我真希望能在那陪着他
Me too Thanks.
我也是谢谢
Ready for a refill? Sure.
要续杯吗? 当然
Are you okay? Yeah,I'm fine.
你还好吗? 是的我没事
I'm just worried about my nephew.
就是有点担心我的小侄子
He's at his first boy-girl party.
他正在参加人生中首个男女生派对
Oh,that's adorable.
哦真可爱
He's my son.
他是我儿子
How old is he? Twelve.
他几岁了? 12岁
Kid's the apple of my eye.
这孩子是我的宝贝疙瘩
You're so sweet.
你真贴心
Excuse me,officially,it's my apple and my eye.
不好意思他是我的宝贝我的疙瘩才对
Okay.
好吧
Connie. Charlie
康妮
Would you like some pie,Charlie?
你想来点馅饼吗查理?
It's on the house.
是免费的
Your house or mine?
[去]你家还是我家?
You're awful.Mine.
你真讨厌去我家啦
Un-freaking-believable.
难以置信
Look,Connie,I'm kind of tied up tonight with my nephew.
康妮我今天晚上为侄子的事忙着
Why not write your number on the bill?
不如你把电♥话♥留在帐单上吧
Already did.
已经留了
What?
咋了?
He's my son But I know how to use him.
他是我儿子但我知道如何利用他
Oh,it's Jake.
哦是杰克
Talk to me.
说吧
No,you're the man.
不你是男子汉
You're the man.
你是男子汉
Great.Keep me posted.
很好有事及时通告
Who's the man?Right.
谁是男子汉?很好
What?What?
咋了?咋了?
It's going well.
进展很顺利
He's gonna be one of the last to leave.That's a good sign.
他将是最后离开的之一这是个好信♥号♥♥
Yeah.
是啊
You tend to lose track of time when you're in a closet with a girl.
当你和女人在小房♥间里厮混时很容易忘记时间的
I just wish I could've covered kissing with him.
真希望我教了他该如何亲嘴
Please,God,don't let him pucker.
拜托上帝啊别让他撅嘴
What's wrong? Oh,it's nothing.
怎么了? 哦没啥
Don't worry,Wendy will know what to do.
别担心温迪知道该怎么做的
She's probably been practicing with her girlfriends.
她应该和她的女性朋友们练习过
Man,chicks are so lucky.
伙计女孩子就是幸运
It's not the kissing.
不是亲嘴
It's this whole thing.
而是整件事
I'm sorry if I interfered with the father-son deal,but...
嘿听着如果我♥干♥扰了父子间的事我很抱歉但是...
No,no,no,you've done a great job.Jake's really lucky to have you.
不不不你做得非常好.杰克能有你支持是件幸事
So,what's the problem?
那么问题出在哪?
I guess I'm a little jealous.
我猜是我有点嫉妒
Of what?
嫉妒什么?
Charlie,do you have any idea what it would've meant...
查理你知道吗如果你能
to have you take me under your wing the way you have with Jake?
像对杰克那样细心呵护我对我会有多大意义吗?
Oh,here we go.
哦又来了
Dad was gone,there was no one to teach me this
老爸死得早没人来教我这些东西
You know how I found out about French kissing?
你知道我是怎么了解法式亲吻的吗?
Mom sliced a plum in half and stuck her tongue in it.
老妈把李子切了一半然后将舌头舔进去...
You could have taken that secret to the grave.
天啊你可以把这个秘密留到棺材里的
And that's not all she showed me.
这还不是她做给我看的全部内容
To this day,I can't eat plums,dried apricots or bananas.
直到现在我都吃不下李子杏干还有香蕉
All right,all right,I'm sorry.
好吧好吧我很抱歉
Look,I was young,I was selfish,
听着我当时太年轻太自私
I should have been there for you.
我应该好好陪伴支持你的
You know,it's not too late.
知道吗现在也不晚
That's a real nice idea,buddy.
这真是个好主意伙计
But I'm afraid it is.
但我觉得太晚了
Hey Hey.
嘿嘿
Well,how'd it go? Okay.
情况怎么样? 还行
Just okay? Alan,leave it alone.
仅仅还行? 艾伦别紧追不舍
All right.
好吧
So,Jake,congratulations For what?
那么杰克祝贺你祝贺啥?
You got lipstick all over your mouth.
你嘴上有一圈唇印
Oh,man.
哦老兄
Relax,I was bluffing.
别紧张我骗你的
But congratulations.
但仍要祝贺你