好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E01
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:13 p.m.
Because I forgot I like the Cajun Clucky's.
因为我忘记我喜欢法式喀喀鸡
Oh, just eat the freakin' chicken.
你先把这"该死的"鸡吃完吧
Fine.
好吧
Why do you say "freakin'"?
你为什么要说"该死"?
I know what you mean. I'm not a little kid anymore.
我懂那个字 我已经不是小孩子了
Eat. Don't talk, eat!
快吃 不要讲话 快吃
What's up?
有事吗?
Gotta pee.
想尿尿
Charlie,
查理
get the tongs.
去拿烤肉夹
Charlie?!
查理
Oh, boy.
天啊
Gotta pee, gotta pee Gotta pee, pee, pee...
想尿尿 想尿尿 想尿尿 尿尿 尿尿...
Alan?
艾伦?
I've got somebody who wants to meet you.
我带了个妹来 她想认识你
Not a good time, Mom.
时机不太对 妈
Yes, I can see that.
没错 我看的出来
Are you all right?
你没事吧?
No, not really.
不 我有事
Oh, my poor baby.
我可怜的宝贝
Well, anyway, Mona, Alan.
还是介绍一下 梦娜 艾伦
Alan, Mona.
艾伦 梦娜
Hi, Mona.
嗨 梦娜
Hello.
哈啰
What happened to you?
你怎么了?
I was fixing the satellite dish and I fell off the roof.
我修理天线结果从屋顶摔下来了
Why didn't you just call the guy?
你为何不打电♥话♥找人来修?
Want to know why I didn't call the guy?
你想知道为什么我没有打电♥话♥吗?
I'll tell you why I didn't call the guy.
我来告诉你为何我没打电♥话♥
Because you don't need to call the guy!
因为根本就不需要打
It's a simple adjustment that any idiot can do!
只需要稍微调整一下 白♥痴♥都会做
And, yes, I know, this idiot fell off the roof
没错 我知道 我就是那个摔下来的白♥痴♥
but it was after I fixed it all by myself,
但这是在我修理好之后才发生的事
no guy!
不必找人
Okay, the ice has been broken.
好吧 总算打破僵局了
I'll just give you Mona's number
我给你梦娜的电♥话♥
and you can call her sometime when it's more convenient.
你有空就打给她
Come along, dear.
走吧 亲爱的
Do you just stay awake nights, trying to think of new ways to embarrass me?
你是不是晚上不睡觉 都在想办法要让我出糗?
Still gotta pee.
还是想尿尿
Oh, God!
天啊
Oh, what the hell.
管他的...
Oh, yeah.
好吃...
The Cajun Clucky's is way better.
法式喀喀鸡好吃多了
I'll notify Zagat's.
我帮你通知美食杂♥志♥
Hey, before stop at the video store,
嘿 在去影带出租店之前
can we get some ice cream?
可以先去买♥♥冰淇淋吗?
Who said we're stopping at the video store?
谁说要去影带出租店了?
I wanna rent the new "Final Fantasy."
我想租"太空战士"来玩
Yeah, well, I want my $80,000 Mercedes
是喔 那我希望我价值8万的奔驰
not to smell like chicken.
不要闻起来有鸡肉味
But life is full of little disappointments.
但人生总是不尽如意
Okay, forget the ice cream.
好吧 那不买♥♥冰淇淋了
We'll just stop at the video store.
我们去影带出租店就好
Jake, I'm tired, I've got a headache,
杰克 我累了 我头在痛
I just paid a hundred dollars to get my car back from the "chicken valet,"
我才刚花了100块把我的车 从泊车小弟那赎回来
and I want to go home.
而我想回家了
Please.
求求你
I'm sorry, what part of "no" did you not understand?
不好意思 "不行"这两个字 你是哪部份听不懂?
The "nnn" or the "oh"?
是"不"还是"行"?
How about if we just stop in front of the store,
不然我们就停在店门口
I'll run in and get the video game and you just wait in the car?
我冲进去找游戏片 然后你在车上等
How about we stop by the video store and
还是我们停在店门口
I just stuff you through the return slot?
然后我把你塞进还片箱?
I wouldn't fit.
我塞不进去
Try me.
那塞我吧
Oh, come on, it'll only take a minute.
拜托啦 只要１分钟
Look, Jake,
听我说 杰克
you might be able to bully your parents into doing whatever you want,
也许你父母什么都听你的
but when I say "no," that's it.
但我说不 就是不
Okay. Then I guess I won't have a video game to play this weekend.
好吧 我想这个周末 我没有游戏可玩了
Exactly. You'll find something else to do.
没错 你必须找其他事情做
Right. It'll just be you and me.
对 家里将会只剩你和我
They're all out of "Final Fantasy."
"太空战士"都租出去了
So get something else.
那就换别的啊
But I want "Final Fantasy."
但我想玩"太空战士"
Are you telling me that out of this entire store,
你是不是想要说这整间店
thousands of movies and video games,
几千部电影和游戏片
there's nothing here that interests you?
你全部没兴趣?
You're not gonna like the answer.
我的答案肯定让你抓狂
I'm having chest pains.
我胸部在痛
You're giving me chest pains.
你害我胸部痛
I bet they have "Final Fantasy" at another store.
我想其他店应该会有"太空战士"
You want a final fantasy?
你想要太空战士?
Close your eyes and imagine yourself flying across a freakin' video store,
闭上眼 然后想象你 从这该死的店被丢出去
'cause that's what's about to happen.
因为我正打算要这么做
Again with the "freakin'."
你又说了"该死"
Excuse me, but did I hear you say you were looking for "Final Fantasy"?
不好意思 我好像听到你们 在找"太空战士"?
I was about to return one.
我正好要拿来还
You can have it.
就给你吧
Thanks. You're welcome.
谢谢 不客气
He's really something, isn't he?
他还真了不起 对吧?
Oh, yeah, he's something.
是的 他很了不起
Question is "What?"
问题是 "有什么了不起? "
I have a boy his age.
我有个小孩跟他一样大
Single mom.
单亲妈妈
Single uncle.
单亲叔叔
Betsy. Charlie.
贝齐 查理
Jake. Nobody asked you.
杰克 没有人问你
So, uh, Betsy,
那么 贝齐
maybe we can get the boys together for a little play date sometime.
也许我们改天可以 把小朋友带来一起玩
I don't want a play date with some stupid kid
我才不要跟不认识的笨小孩玩
just so you can have sex with her.
就为了让你可以跟她做♥爱♥?
Isn't he something?
他很了不起吧?
Yeah.
是啊
Well, it was nice meeting you.
很高兴认识你们
Bye-bye.
掰掰
What?
怎了?
Are you happy?
你爽了吗?
Pretty much. You?
蛮爽的 你呢?
Hello.
哈啰
"Controlled substance.
"受管制药品"
Do not exceed one pill every six hours."
"每六小时吃一粒"
Yeah, right.
最好是
Oh, what fresh child-proof hell is this?
厚 这是什么 防止儿童开启的烂装置?
Come on, you bastard.
快开啊 你这个烂货
Yes!
好耶
What are we doing?
你要做什么?
I'm taking you back to your mother.
我要把你还给你妈
Why?
为什么?
Why? I'll tell you why.
为什么? 我告诉你为什么
Because you're no fun anymore.
因为你已经不可爱了
Because the whole "isn't he cute" thing is over.
因为人们对你说"他很可爱吧? " 的时代已经过去了
And I'll tell you something else:
然后我还要告诉你
if this is is a prelude to what you're gonna be like as a teenager,
如果你青春期一开始就这样难搞
then we've got a serious problem.
那我们之间的问题就大条了
Whatever.
随便啦
You see? You see, right there!
你看吧? 你看 就像这样
That attitude does not fly with me.
你的态度让我很不满意
Whatever.
随便啦
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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