好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E12
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me.
真对不起 我不知道自己是怎么了
Nah.
没事
Who among us hasn't collapsed,weeping,
芸芸众生 谁没在书店里
in the middle of a bookstore for no apparent reason?
毫无征兆地崩溃大哭过
You know, I think maybe I'd be better off at home.
我想 也许我还是回家好
So I'm supposed to miss the movie
那我得错过这电影
just because you had a nervous breakdown?
就为你神经崩溃?
Well,kinda.
嗯 好像是
Don't you think that's a little selfish,Alan?
有点自私了吧 艾伦
It's just,all of a sudden,I felt
只是突然间 我被
crushed by this unbelievable sense of grief,
难以置信的悲哀感彻底击倒
like my entire life has been an exercise in a pathetic futility.
悲哀我这一生 都在碌碌无为中度过
Well,I wouldn't rule it out.
嗯 同意
Come on,bunky,cheer up. Have a Red Vine.
別这样 呆子 打起精神 来根红藤
I don't want a Red Vine.
我不想要什么红藤
SnoCap? No.
雪顶?[雪糕品牌] 不要
Raisinets? No.
巧克力架?[雀巢旗下巧克力品牌] 不要
Goobers? How much crap did you buy?!
牛奶巧克力球? 你到底买♥♥了多少垃圾?
They couldn't change a hundred.
100块他们找不开
All right,I'll have a Junior Mint.
好吧 我要小薄荷糖
I didn't get Junior Mints.
没买♥♥小薄荷糖
Of course not.
当然没买♥♥
Story of my life.
我一生如此
No Junior Mints for Alan...
没有小薄荷糖给艾伦
just Goobers.
只有他喵的牛奶巧克力球
Dude,dude,you need to be quiet.
伙计 你得安静点
Why? Why?
为什么
The first amendment gives me the right
人♥权♥法案赋予我权利 可以在拥挤的
to yell "Goobers" in a crowded theater.
电影院里大喊牛奶巧克力球真他喵的好吃
Hey,look.
嗨 看
Movie quiz.Let's play the movie quiz.
电影问答 我们玩电影问答吧
I don't want to play the movie quiz.
我不想玩电影问答
Come on,it'll be fun. I'll bet you're good at it.
来啊 很有趣的 我打赌你一定很行
All right,all right.
好吧
"Debra Winger and Richard Gere
黛布拉·温格和理查德·盖尔合演的
starred in An Officer and a blank."Oh,please!
"军官与XX" 噢 不是吧 [军官与绅士]
You need a hint?
要提示吗
There's a hint upside down in the corner. No,I don't need a hint!
那个角上有倒写的提示 不 我不需要提示
I know the answer! Everybody here knows the answer!
我知道答案 这里所有人都知道答案
Everybody on the planet knows the answer! We're not stupid!
地球人都知道答案 我们不傻
Chill,chill.
冷静 冷静
Oh,wait,here's another brain teaser.
等等 又一个脑筋急转弯
"Steven Spielberg directed this modern
史蒂芬·斯皮尔博格 翻拍的
retelling of the H.G.Wells classic
赫伯特·乔治·威尔斯的科幻名著
War of the blank."
"XX大战" [世界大战]
Uh,uh,couch!War of the Couch!
呃 沙发 抢沙发大战
Okay,stop it.
你丫快停下
Oh,no,no,I got it!
噢不 我想到了
War of the blow it out your ass!
你个狗屁大战
You know,maybe you're right. Maybe we should go.
也许你是对的 也许我们该走了
Wait,no,I know this one.
等等 我知道这个
"Johnny Depp cruised to success in this comedy-action
乔尼·德普环海冒险的喜剧动作片
film inspired by a Disneyland attraction."
创作灵感来自迪斯尼乐园的游艺节目
Pirates of the blow it out your ass!
你个狗屁海盗 [加勒比海盗]
He's behind on his reading.
他来不及看书了
Oh,oh,and let's not forget Judy Garland in that immortal classic
大家別忘了还有 朱迪·迦兰出演的那部经典名著
The Wizard of blow it out your ass!
绿野你个狗屁 [绿野僊踪 The Wizard of OZ]
That sounds like quite an episode.
听起来情况相当严重
Is your brother seeing a therapist?
你弟弟有看心理医生吗?
How would I know?
我怎么知道
He's your brother.He lives with you.
他是你兄弟 和你住在一起
So?
那又怎样?
All right,go ahead.
算了 继续
Just because I took him in doesn't mean I have to listen to him.
我让他住 不代表我得听他抱怨
I understand.
理解
He just whines about the same crap over and over.
他抱怨同样的废话 一遍又一遍
Okay.
懂了
It's not even interesting crap.
还不是有趣的废话
It's the crap that bores the crap out of crap.
都是废话接废话的废话
I got it.
我明白了
It's crap.Go ahead.
全是废话 继续
Thank you.
谢谢
So we're driving home and...
於是 我们开车回家
This seat is very comfortable.Genuine leather,
这座椅很舒服.真皮的
nine-way adjustable,
9档调位
lumbar support...
带腰垫
I wish I'd spent a few extra bucks
真想再多花点钱
and gotten the ejection package.
添个弹射功能
I said I was sorry.
我说过对不起了
They don't refund those tickets,Alan.
他们不退票钱
I want to go see Jake.
我想去看杰克
Why? He's at a sleepover.
为什么 他在朋友家过夜
I just got this feeling that he needs me.
我有种感觉 他需要我
Really? Some sort of telepathic thing?
是吗 某种心灵感应?
Exactly.
没错
I see.
明白了
Did you know I was gonna do that?
知道我要打你吗
No.
不知道
Then I wouldn't trust your psychic powers.
那我没法相信 你有心灵感应
Come on. We can just stop by for a few minutes.
別啊 我们就停留一小会儿
We have time now since we decided to skip the movie.
既然我们决定不看电影了 现在有的是时间
Oh,we decided that,did we?
噢 "我们"决定的 是吧
That's the way it went down for you,huh?
你就是这么看待这件事的?
That's how you interpret recent events?!
你就是这么解释刚才的丑事吗
Whoa,whoa,settle down.You're acting like a crazy person.
冷静 你的举止像个疯子
Me?!
我
I'm acting like a crazy person?!
我的举止像个疯子?
Are you freaking kidding me?!
你丫的是在耍我吗?
Listen to yourself.You're getting a little scary right now.
看看你自己 现在都有点吓人了
Okay,fine,you want to see the kid,
行啊 你想去看孩子
we'll go see the kid.
我们就去看孩子
Thank you.
谢谢
Is that so hard?
就那么很难吗?
Charlie...the road.
查理 看路
Please.
別玩了
You know,when you have kids,
知道吗 当你有了孩子 你会发现
you find that there's a deep spiritual connection.
有一种深厚的精神关联存在
You feel an actual tug when your child needs you.
当孩子需要你时 你会感受到真实的牵掛
Interesting.
有意思
What do you feel when your brother hates you?
你哥哥恨你时 你有什么感受
Alan.Is everything okay?
艾伦 怎么了
Oh,yeah,fine.I just need to see Jake for a minute.
噢没事 只是来看一下杰克
He's feeling a tug.
他感受到"牵掛"
Tug?
高♥潮♥
Or it could be gas.We're not sure.
或者只是猜测 我们还不确定
Could you just call Jake?
能叫一下杰克吗
Jake! Your father's here!
杰克 你♥爸♥爸来了
Put that down,Timmy!
把那个放下 蒂米
What?
什么事
I just wanted to see if you were okay.
只是来看看你一切可好
Oh,great.Now I'm dead! Thanks a lot!
噢 好极了 现在我死了 非常感谢
Doesn't count! I was talking to my stupid dad!
这次不算 我在跟笨老爸说话
Well,it seems like you've got everything under control.
好吧 看来你这里 一切正常
Actually,I ran out of ice cream.
实际上 家里没冰淇淋了
Do you think you could keep an eye on the kids for a few minutes?
你能帮我 照看他们几分钟吗
Thanks a million.I'll be right back.
万分感谢 我就回来
She ain't coming back.
她不会回来了
Three hours she was gone.
整整出去了3个小时
And when she finally came back
当她终于回来时
she was reeking of Old Spice and pot.
一身Old Spice[男士香水品牌]和大♥麻♥的臭味
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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