好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E17
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:17 p.m.
Gee,Mom,it really is a beautiful day,huh?
天啊 妈妈 多美好的一天 是吧
Try telling that to Uncle Walter's one good nut.
去告诉沃尔特叔叔 那只孤单的健康睾丸吧
Okay.Um,
好
I adore my son.
我爱极了我儿子
Somebody has to.
总得有个人爱吧
How about friendship? How about Judas?
聊聊友谊 聊聊朱蒂斯
Family Manson.
家庭 梦露[原名曼森 破碎童年 放荡成年]
Puppies Rabies.
小狗狗 狂犬病
Love Communicable disease.
爱情 传染病
You win Quitter!
你赢 懦夫
Leave me alone.
让我一个人待会儿
You're already alone.
你已经是一个人了
Your wife threw you out,remember?
你老婆早把你扔出了家门 忘了没
Damn it,Gordon!
要死 戈顿
Get up there and talk to Charlie But I don't want to talk to Charlie.
上去和查理说话 但我不想和查理说话
Do you like having sex with me,Gordon?
还想和我嘿♥咻♥吗 戈顿?
Hey,Charlie.
嘿 查理
Hey,Gordon.
嘿 戈顿
What's going on?
什么状况
Oh,not much.I was just passing by.Thought I'd see how you're doing.
噢 没啥事 我只是路过 想着上来看看你
I'm doing fine.
我很好
Good.
那就好
Good...
那就好...
Nice shirt.
衣服不错
Right back at ya.
彼此彼此
So...
那么
Rose says I have to talk to you,
萝丝说我必须得和你聊聊
or I can't have sex with her anymore.
否则就再不能和她嘿♥咻♥了
I see.
明白了
You sure you're making the right choice?
你确信选择是正确的
Call me crazy.
笑我痴狂吧
Well,crazy is the price of admission for that ride.
是啊 想干那事 必须得痴狂
Okay,come here,sit down.
好吧 来 坐下
You want a beer?
要来瓶啤酒吗
Oh,no,thank you.
哦不了 谢谢
I'm a really mean drunk.
我酒后会失控
I sensed that.
感觉到了
Anyway,the thing you need to understand about Rose...
总之 你要理解萝丝的是
about any woman really is...
包括所有女人都是
they want what they can't have.
得不到的东西 她们越想得到
But Rose can have me.
但萝丝能得到我
Trust me on this,Gordon.
相信我的话 戈顿
You play it cool,keep your distance,be aloof,
跟她保持距离 处事冷静 装作冷淡
you'll have to call the cops to get rid of her.
然后就得叫警♥察♥来 帮你摆脱她的纠缠了
You really think so? I know so.
你真这么认为 不 我真经历过
But they won't come right away.
但警♥察♥不会说到就到
She'll still have time to hot glue her high school
所以她还有时间 把她高中毕业照
graduation picture to your freshly shaved ass.
用热胶粘在你光溜溜的白屁♥股♥上
Hey,Mom,
嘿 妈妈
here's some good news.
有些好消息
It seems with medical breakthroughs,
看起来 随着医学科技的突破
the average lifespan will soon be a hundred years.
人的平均壽命 很快会达到一百年
Wonderful.More time to be ignored by your children.
很好 被儿女冷落的时间也更长了
Amazing.
太美好了
Morning,Mom.
早安 妈妈
You're looking very pretty today.
你今天气色真不错
That's nice,because inside I'm dead.
那就好 因为外表之下我心已死
When you're right,you're right.
你说的没错
Charlie,I need a favor.
查理 我需要你帮个忙
Yeah,well,I need a healthy liver,and there's a long waiting list for both.
好啊 我需要个健康的肝脏 "帮忙"和"肝脏"的候补名单可长了
I've got a client coming into town next Saturday,
下周六 我有个客户来镇上
and he's bringing his lovely daughter.
并带着他可爱的女儿
Uh,and by "lovely," she means "dog-like."
关于"可爱" 她是指巨丑
All right,she may not be a beauty queen,
好吧 也许她不是选美皇后
but she does have a terrific figure.
但确实身材凹凸有致
I'm guessing six nipples.
我猜她有六个乳♥头♥
Anyhow,I was hoping you could show her a good time.No big deal.
总之 我希望你能照顾好她 很简单的
You don't even have to take her to dinner.Just go to the beach
都不用带她去晚餐 只需带去海滩
and throw a stick till she gets tired.
扔木棍让她叼回来 直到她累趴下[狗狗喜爱的一种游戏]
Gee,Mom,as much as I'd love to service the unfortunate little schnauzer,
天 妈妈 我很乐于照顾 这只不幸的小雪纳瑞犬
I'm busy next Saturday What are you doing?
但我下周六没空 你要做什么
I've got a thing.
我有有有...事
Don't lie to me,Charlie.
別骗我了 查理
You've got nothing.You just don't want to help me.
你根本没事 就是不想帮我
No.I swear.I have plans.
不 我我我发誓 我有有有安排了
I'm going to this...this...
我要要要去这个...
awards ceremony.
颁奖典礼
You never go to these things.
你以前从不去这些场合的
Yeah,well,this year's different.
是啊 但今年不同了
Your client's daughter will just have to hump somebody else's leg.
你客户的女儿 只能去蹭別人的大腿了
Told you I could get him to go.
早说过我能忽悠他去[典礼]
This is really boring.
真是无聊
Just keep it to yourself,Jake.
心里有数就行 杰克
I just don't understand why I had to come.
只是想不通 为什么我也得来
You're here to support your Uncle Charlie,
你是来这儿支持查理叔叔的
the same way he supported you by coming to your Christmas pageant this year.
就像今年圣诞 他去你的演出会一样
You remember the one,
还记得那个场景吗
where you stood in back picking lint off your antlers
你在后排 挣脱套在你那鹿角上的网时
while the rest of the class recited "The Night Before Kwanzaa."
班上其他人正在背诵"宽扎节前夜"
Oh,yeah.
噢对
Uncle Charlie?
查理叔叔
What?
怎么了
Now you have to come to my Easter pageant.
现在你得去我的复活节演出会了
This event isn't televised,is it? No.
这典礼没直播吧 没有
Hmm.Well,I guess they only show the important awards.
嗯 估计他们只直播重要的典礼
Congratulations.
祝贺你
You've just been elected tonight's designated driver.
你刚被选为今晚的专职司机了
Come on,just ignore her.
算了 无视她好了
Ignore her? It would be easier to ignore blood in my urine.
无视她 无视我尿出血都比这容易
Well,well,well.
好啊 好啊 好啊
Look who decided to be a good sport.
看看谁这么有体育精神
Speaking of blood in my urine.Hey,Archie.
说到尿出血 嘿 亚奇
Hey,I want to tell you people,
嘿 我想告诉诸位
this man has been a real inspiration to me No,come on.
此人是我真正的创作灵感 噢 太客气了
No,no.I mean it.
不 我是认真的
Whenever I'm struggling to write a jingle and I feel like I'm not measuring up,
我在创作广♥告♥曲时 只要感觉曲子写得不好
I ask myself,how would Charlie Harper write this?
我就问自己 换做查理 他会写成什么鬼样
And the answer always makes me feel better about my own work.
答案总是会让我 对自己的作品 感觉好了很多
Charlie,aren't you going to introduce me?
查理 不想介绍一下吗
Mom,Archie.Archie,Mom.
我妈 亚奇 亚奇 我妈
You're Charlie's mother?
查理的妈妈
Oh,a teenage pregnancy,no doubt.
喔 低龄怀孕 毫无疑问
How brave of you to keep him.
没早打掉他 您真勇敢[嘲笑查理不值得生出来]
Well,aren't you adorable.
喔 您真会说话
Mom,Archie is nominated in the same category as Charlie.
妈妈 亚奇和查理 被提名了同一个奖项
Oh.
噢
Well,I'll be rooting for you,Archie.
好啊 我会支持你的 亚奇
Okay,then,thanks for stopping by.
好吧 谢谢问候
Good luck.
好运
You deserve it this year Thanks.
今年该你了 谢谢
I mean,how many times can they snub you?
我指 他们还能冷落你多少次
I don't really keep track.
我事后就忘
Seven.
7次
Seven years in a row.
连续的7年
If you say so.
如你所述
Hey,stick around after the ceremony.If I win,I'll let you hold my trophy.
嘿 结束后別走 如果我赢了 我让你握握我的"奖杯"
Not to mention the little statue they give me.
更別提 他们给我的那个小雕像了
Isn't the little statue the trophy?
难道那个小雕像 不是"奖杯"吗
Just eat your chicken.
吃你的鸡肉吧
And now,before we present the Jingle of the Year Award,
在年度最佳广♥告♥曲结果公布之前
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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