好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E14
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
let me float a crazy idea by ya.
允许我自已不停意淫
Sort of a win-win...
达成某种双赢的
win.
共赢局面
Are you out of your freakin' mind?
你大脑又进水了吗
It was worth a shot.
问问又不会怀孕
Kandi,before you say anything,
康迪 在你开口之前
I just want you to know that I'm in a committed relationship now
我想告诉你 我有感情归属了
and I'm really in love with this woman.
而且 我很爱这个女人
She's the best thing that's ever happened to me,
她是我遇到过最好的归属
and I can't imagine being with anyone else.
我都无法想像 换作其他人会如何
Now,sweetheart...
现在 甜心
don't cry.
別哭了
I'm sure you'll find someone else.
我相信 你会再找到合适的人的
Bye-bye!
再见
Bye-bye.
再见
What?I thought we were going upstairs.
怎么了 我们不是要上楼吗
Okay.You're still mad.I get that.
好吧 你还在生气 我知道了
I made your bed.
帮你铺好床了
Thank you.
谢谢
It's been real easy lately.
最近铺床 异常轻松
How nice for you.
你爽了吧
You haven't even been flying solo,have you?
你甚至都没打过手♥枪♥ 是吧?
That's a little personal,isn't it?
那是隐私 对吧?
Hey,you want privacy,wash your own sheets.
嘿 想要隐私 自己洗床单
Once I get my mitts on 'em,they're in the public domain.
只要我碰到床单 即刻路人皆知
Good morning. Morning.
早安 早安
How'd it go with Mia last night? Based on his laundry,not well.
昨晚和米亚过得如何 从换洗床单看 没戏
Why don't you tell the neighbors?
你怎么不去告诉左邻右舍?
Where do you think I'm going?!
你以为我现在去哪儿?
Oh,by the way,thanks for getting rid of Kandi for me.
顺便谢谢你 帮我摆脱康迪
Hey,I'm your brother.I got your back.
嗨 我是你兄弟 永远的后援
Good to know.
多谢告知
Hey,as long as we're on the subject,
嘿 既然谈到这个话题
I was wondering...
我在想
since you're...
既然
swimming in Lake Monogamy,as it were...
你在一夫一妻的水里畅游
would you mind if I,you know...
你会不会介意 如果我 比如
asked Kandi out sometime?
某天约会康迪
Go for it.
去吧
Just wanted to make sure you're okay with it.
只是想确定 你不会介意
I'm fine with it.
我没问题
I just don't want you to feel weird.
只是不想你感觉奇怪
Thanks for your consideration.
多谢关心
Morning,Huggy Bear!
早安 抱抱熊
So,Kandi,you want to go out sometime?
那么 康迪 有空出来玩吗
Okay,I want you to know I tracked down Kandi.
我想告诉你 我找到了康迪
I told her she needs to move on,and she has,
我让她忘了我 她也照做了
so I've got no lifeboats,no life preservers,no water wings.
所以我没后备救生艇了 也没救生衣 救生圈
If the ship goes down,I'm going down with it.
如果船沉了 我会跟它一起沉
Charlie... So there's no longer any reason
查理 所以再没任何理由
to put off you and me getting naked
阻止我们吃果果的相对
and rutting like a couple of pigs.
像一对发♥情♥的猪
Charlie,I'd like you to meet my parents.
查理 我想你见见我的父母
Hello.
你们好
What if Dad says I can stay up to watch it?
如果老爸说 我能熬夜看电视怎么办?
He won't.
他不会的
How do you know?
你怎么知道
Your father and I talk about these things,
你♥爸♥爸和我已经谈过此事
so don't try to play us against each other.
所以 別想离间我们
I got to try.It's what I do.
总得试试 我就是做这一行的
Hi!
嗨
Hello.Is,uh,Alan here?
你好 艾伦在吗
Father Huggy Bear!
抱抱熊神父
Yes,my child?
什么事 我的孩子
You've got company.
有人找你
Alan...?
艾伦?
Stall 'em!Stall 'em!Stall 'em! Okay.
拖住他们!快拖信他们 好的
You must be Jake.
你一定是杰克
And you must be Jake's grandma.
你一定是杰克的奶奶
Judith,hi.
朱蒂斯 嗨
Why don't you go watch some cartoons.
去看动画片吧
Okay. Cool!
好 酷
Are you proud of yourself?
你很自豪吗
What do you mean?
什么意思
Oh,please,she has to be half your age.
噢得了 她的岁数 可能只有你一半
Oh,that.
哦 你是说那个
Yeah,I am pretty proud of that.
是啊 对此我很自豪
What could you possibly have in common? What do you talk about?
你们能有共同语言吗 你们谈些什么?
Talk?
谈
To tell you the truth,we haven't really done a lot of talking.
说实话 我们还真没好好谈过
I mean,I did hear her confession.
不过 我有听过她的忏悔
She's been a very bad girl.
她曾是个很坏的女孩
And I'm supposed to leave Jake here?
杰克将会留这儿
What kind of message does that send him?
这又会教给他什么?
I don't know,dreams can come true?
我不知道 梦想能成真?
Life is beautiful?There is a God?
人生多美好?举头三尺有神灵?
Hey,Jude.
嘿 朱蒂斯
Father.
神父
I suppose you're the one
我猜是你
that introduced Alan to that slutty little...
给艾伦介绍了那淫♥荡♥的小...
Don't say it,Judith.You'll just be demeaning all women.
別说那词 朱蒂斯 那会贬低所有的女人
And yes.
是我介绍的
Figures.Well,I don't want her around my son.
那发♥情♥的小妹纸 我不希望 她在我儿子身边
Oh,really?
噢 是吗
So do I get to screen the men that you're dating?
那我也可以筛选一下和你约会的男人?
And let's not forget,
別忘了那个
I know about that guy who delivered the truckload of sod.
送整车草皮来的男人我知道是怎么回事
What about him?
他怎么了
It doesn't take two months to put down a new lawn,Judith.
换草皮用不著两个月 朱蒂斯
Sounds like she got laid before the sod did.
听着像 草皮没放倒 她先被"放倒"了
I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
对此我不屑作答
Watch out for crabgrass.
小心杂草
So what's Kandi,a nun?
康迪扮什么 修女?
Mm,catholic school girl.
天主教女学生
Oh,excellent choice.
喔 选的好
Oh,uh,hey,how are things with Mia?
嗨 和米亚怎样了
Not bad.She forgives me.introduced me to her parents.
还行 她原谅了我 给我介绍她的父母
Oh,yeah? How'd that go?
哦 是吗 结果如何?
Well,you know,those things are always awkward.
你知道的 那种事难免尴尬
But the big news is,I'm taking Mia to the Bel Air Hotel tonight,
但好消息是今晚我带米亚去Bel-Air酒店
where we will finally express our love for
最终我们在那儿
one another in the way that we were meant to.
水到渠成 共浴爱河
Drunk and in a hurry. You got it.
酒后速战 你说的对
How's the caviar? It's perfect.
鱼子醬如何 完美
Everything's perfect.
一切都很完美
Would you like me to build a fire?
要我生火吗
Oh,don't go to any trouble.
噢 別太麻烦了
It's no trouble.
不麻烦
Luckily,I was a Boy Scout in Beverly Hills.
幸好 我在贝弗利山做过童子军
Champagne?
香槟
No,thanks.I want to be completely present
不了谢谢 我们第一次
for the first time we make love.
我想完全清醒状态
Oh.Good for you.
噢 真有你的
Don't you want to be present?
你不想保持清醒吗
Uh,well,within reason.
嗯 是啊 一定程度的清醒
Come on.
得了吧
What do you say we save the champagne?
你说 我们留着香槟好不好
But I already opened it.
但已经打开了
Do you really need alcohol to make love to me?
你真需要喝酒 才能和我OOXX吗
No,no.
不
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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