好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S03E09
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:16 p.m.
Alan,
艾伦
thank you so much for a wonderful day.
非常感谢 今天真荣幸
I'm looking forward to next Saturday.
期待下周六再见
Oh,me,too.
喔 我也是
And as for you,Mr.Harper,
至於你 哈珀先生
Bruno never had fleas before that night.
那晚之前 布鲁诺从没得过跳蚤
You passed out in her doghouse?
你醉倒在她家狗舍里?
Hey,I've passed out in wheelbarrows,
嘿 我还曾醉倒在手推车里
but this isn't about me.
但现在讨论的不是我
Oh,really? Who is it about?
哦 是吗?那是谁
You.
你
Why are you dating a woman
你怎么看上这么一个女人?
who most likely lost her virginity during WW2?
她在二战时就不是处♥女♥之身了
And knowing her,probably not to one of our guys.
有可能还是献身给了敌方人员
Okay,first of all,we're not dating,
好的 首先 我们没约会
I am escorting her to a charity event.
我只是送她去了一场慈善会
And second of all,her age is irrelevant.
其次 她多大岁数 跟这没一点关系
The only thing that matters is what's inside a person.
我们注重的 应该是一个人的内在
Yeah,only thing inside her is dust and undigested mastodon meat.
是啊 她内在的 是一坨还没消化的史前野象肉
She isn't that old,Charlie.
她真没那么老 查理
Oh,come on,I'll bet she was an eyewitness to the birth of agriculture.
拉倒吧 我敢打赌 她见证过人类农业的起源
Stop it.
行了
Her high school graduation picture's probably on a cave wall in France.
她高中毕业的照片 可能还贴在法国的史前洞穴里
Are you done?
你说够了没
Her prom theme was "Fire."
她毕业舞会的主题是「火」
Charlie,I can't figure out how to turn off the shower.
查理 我不知道怎么关淋浴喷头
There's so many knobs.
太多凸起的物体了
That's okay,honey.
没关系 亲爱的
You just dry off,and I'll take care of it.
你先擦干自己 一会儿我去关
Thanks.
好呀
How does it feel to be dating a woman whose IQ is the same as her age?
跟一个智商和岁数一样高的女人约会 是什么感觉
I can ask you the same thing.
我可以同样这么问你
Oh,here's something else we have in common.
喔 有件事我们是一样的
Both our girls are pruney,
咱俩的女人都不怎么样
but mine's gonna plump back up in a little while.
不过我的女人吸饱了水就会变新鲜
Well,thank you for a lovely evening.
谢谢你 如此美好的夜晚
Oh,no,thank you for taking me.
噢不 该我谢谢你陪我
I so loathe going to these things by myself.
我实在不喜欢一个人去这些场合
And dancing.
还有跳舞
I can't remember the last time I danced.
都忘了上次跳舞是啥时候的事了
That was fun.
那很有趣
One more spin?
再转一次
Okay,sure.
好的 没问题
Oh,thank you for being so kind to a lonely old gal.
谢谢你 对一位年老孤独的女士如此体贴
Stop saying that.You are not old.
別那么说 你不老
You're a vibrant,fascinating woman,
你是一位活力依旧的魅力女士
and I had a great time with you tonight.
今晚有你 我也过的很开心
Oh,likewise.
我也是
Alan,I want you to give some serious thought to my offer.
艾伦 希望你能认真考虑我的建议
I will.I will.
我会的 会的
Okay,so,uh,so good night.
好的 那么 晚安
Good night.
晚安
Oh,all right.
噢 好吧
Morning.morning.
早上好 早
Who sent the flowers?
谁送的花
I'll give you a hint.
给你个提示
Wait 'til you see the card.
等你看祝福卡哪
You read the card?
你看过了
I couldn't.It's in Aramaic.
我看不懂唉 是亚拉姆语
Okay,I get it.She's old.
好的 我明白 她老了
It was delivered by a Roman centurion.
一个古罗马的百夫长送过来的
Oh,geez.I've got a problem.
噢惨了 有麻烦了
Hey,if yougot her pregnant,we can get a full page in Ripley's.
嗨 如果你让她怀孕了黎普利专栏能给你出一个整版
Give it a rest,Charlie.
休息一下吧 查理
Oh,come on,I've been working on these all morning.
別啊 我準备这些笑料一个早上了
Listen to this.
听听这个
Her first car was a chariot.
她的第一辆车 是马拉战车
She called her first husband "hun" 'cause he was one.
她称呼第一个老公为"亲爱的" 因为他就是匈奴人
Her first Christmas,was the first Christmas.
她的第一个圣诞节 就是史上第一个圣诞节
Likes to take long walks on the beach after
从海洋爬上陆地并长出腿以后
crawling out of the ocean and growing legs.
喜欢在海滩长时间散步
Her birthstone is lava.
她的诞生石 是火山熔岩
And finally,the Big Bang.
最后 "终极"笑料[big bang 原指宇宙大爆发]
I don't have a joke,for that but I know there's something there.
目前还没有 但肯定就在某个地方
I'm leaving.
我闪了
Oh,come on,I'm your brother.You can talk to me.
噢 別啊 我是你哥哥.你可以和我聊聊的
Okay,I promise,no more jokes.Tell me what the problem is.
好的 我保证 不再开玩笑了 告诉我是什么麻烦
Okay.Well.You know she's rich,right?
好的 那个 你知道她很有钱吧
Richer than God.
比上帝还富
Who she's known since he was yay high.
当然 她认识上帝时 上帝才长这么高
You promised.
说了不开玩笑的
Sorry.Yeah,yeah.
抱歉
Well,last night,
好吧 是这样的 昨晚
Norma made me a business proposition.
诺玛给我一个商业建议
A business proposition? I bet it involved...
商业建议? 我打赌肯定是关于...
No!No!No telegraphs,no flying machines,
別 別 別.和发明电♥话♥无关 和发明飞机无关
no Nina,no Pinta,no Santa Maria!
和妮娜皮塔圣·玛丽亚无关
You don't have to bite my head off.
你没必要冲我发火吧
I was talking about what I do for a living,
我说起我的工作
and she said she wanted to invest.In me..
她说她要对我投资
Invest in you? How?
对你投资 怎么投
She wants to buy a building and create the Alan Harper Healing Center.
她打算买♥♥幢楼 建成艾伦·哈珀康复中心
Uh,chiropractic,acupuncture,
指压疗法 针♥刺♥疗法
uh,holistic pharmacy,aroma therapy...
整体疗法 芳香疗法
Why don't you just call it the Alan Harper House o' Crap?
为什么不叫艾伦·哈珀废物之家
Norma chose the name.
诺玛定的名字
I see.
明白了
And in exchange for this she expects you to...
作为交换 她要求你...
Nothing has been said explicitly,but...yeah.
还没明确说过 但是...
And you're considering it?
那你正在权衡中
No.No,of course not.
不 不 当然不...
Not really.
不完全是
Not really?
不完全是
Well,the building would be in Beverly Hills
那幢楼将会在贝弗利山
and it would have my name on the top.
我的名字会高掛在上面
Big letters,but,you know,with a real classy font.
很大的字 你知道 用高雅的字体
I'm thinking Helvetica.
我正在考虑用瑞士体
Okay,I see your dilemma.
好的 我知道你的难处了
We gotta think this through.Thanks,thanks.I really need to.
我们要通盘考虑.谢谢 我真的需要
You'd do her for free if she was young and beautiful,right?
如果她年轻漂亮 你上她就不考虑回报对吗
Well,sure,I suppose.
是的 我估计是
And you'd stick your dingus in a beehive for,
让你把小♥弟♥弟♥塞进蜂箱
say,a hundred million,wouldn't you?
代价是 比如100万 你干吗?
A hundred million dollars?Probably.
100万美元 可能会
But where are we going with this?
但是 这又意味了什么
Well,we've established that you're a man whore,
这个 我们已经确定了你是只鸭
and now we're just trying to zero in on your price.
现在只是想确定一下你的肉价
Charlie,you're not helping at all.
查理 你一点都没帮上忙
Alan,did you really think I would?
艾伦 你真以为我会帮忙吗
Good to see you again,Ms.Seabury.Thank you,Bobby.
很高兴又见到您 希布里夫人 谢谢 鲍比
My pleasure.Thank you.
我的荣幸.谢谢
Good luck.
祝你好运
Get away,Bobby.
走开 鲍比
So,Alan...
那么 艾伦...
have you given any more thought to my little business proposal?
仔细考虑过我的商业计划了吗
Well,actually,I have and,uh...
实际上 我想过了
Oh,wait,I forgot.
噢 等一下 差点忘了
I brought you a little gifty.
给你的小小礼物
Oh,no,Norma,please,you've been too kind already.
噢 不 诺玛 你已经很客气了
Oh,my God,a Rolex.
噢 上帝啊 劳力士
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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