了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel S01E02
Part 1
Oct. 5, 2020, 2:21 p.m.
Nah. Now, seriously,
现在 不是吧
there's no fucking way that Penny Pann
潘妮 潘绝不可能
can compete with these tits!
赢过这波涛汹涌
Do you love it? Do I love what?
你爱它吗 我爱什么
Comedy.
喜剧
Stand-up. Do you love it?
单口喜剧 你爱它吗
Seriously?
说真的吗
Well, I've been doing it a while.
我已经做这个有一阵了
Okay, let's put it like this.
这么跟你说吧
If there was anything else in the entire world
只要这世界上还有其他任何
that I could possibly do to earn a living, I would.
能让我养家糊口的事 我都会去做
Anything. I'm talking dry cleaners to the Klan,
任何事 哪怕是去三K党做干洗工
crippled-kid portrait painter, slaughterhouse attendant.
残疾儿童肖像画师 屠宰场打下手
If someone said to me, "Leonard, you can either eat a guy's head"
如果有人对我说“莱纳德 要么你去吃个人头
or do two weeks at the Copa,"
要么去科帕讲两周单口”
I'd say, "Pass the fucking salt."
我会回答 “他妈的给我盐”
It's a terrible, terrible job.
这是份糟糕至极的工作
It should not exist.
就不应该存在
Like cancer and God.
就像癌症和上帝
Sorry.
对不起
I went to the Varick station instead.
我去了瓦里克警局
Why the hell would you do that? 'Cause you like Varick better.
你为什么会走错 因为你更喜欢瓦里克
Jesus, Honey, you don't get to pick.
老天 宝贝 被抓了是没得选的
But do you love it?
但你爱单口吗
Yeah. He loves it.
他喜欢
Excuse me. Do I need a receipt for the bail money, or...
打扰下 可以给我开保释金的收据 或
And next up in a night full of triumphs,
下一位赢得满堂喝彩的女士
Honey forgot to tell the cabdriver to turn the meter off.
我妻子忘记让出租车司机停里程表
He's up to 20 bucks and refuses to get paid in weed,
他要价20美元还不接受大♥麻♥付款
so I was wondering if maybe you... Of course. Here.
所以我想你能不能 当然 给你
Put it on my tab? Sure.
记我账上 好的
And, hey, if you need any help finding a lawyer,
对了 如果你需要找律师
I've got a drawer full of cards.
我有一抽屉名片
Just don't tell anyone you know where I am. -Lawyer?
只是别告诉别人我在哪儿 律师
Receipt. What?
收据 什么
Wha... What did you mean "lawyer"?
你说律师是什么意思
Wait, wh-what about a lawyer?
为什么要提律师
Hold on. You said
等等 你说
if I need help finding a lawyer.
如果我要找律师
Why do I need help finding a lawyer?
为什么我需要律师
You got arrested, arrested means court, court means lawyer.
你被捕了 就得上庭 上庭就需要律师
But why do I need a lawyer? I got bailed out. -So?
但我为什么要找律师 我被保释了 所以呢
On the night I was arrested. So?
就在被捕当晚 所以
I didn't sleep there. Where is this going?
我都没在警局过夜 你想说什么
I got bailed out on the night I got arrested.
我被捕当晚就被保释了
It's almost like it didn't even happen.
就像什么都没发生过一样
But it did happen. But very quickly.
但确实发生了 很快啊
My advice: be your own lawyer.
我的建议是 给自己辩护吧
It's ticking. I should...
还在走表 我该
Wait. Yes?
等等 怎么
What?
怎么了
I...
我
You...?
你
I-I don't know what to do.
我 我不知道该做什么
Well, it's morning.
那么 现在是早上
Go have breakfast.
吃个早餐吧
Lenny, for Christ's sake, I'm dying here.
莱尼 等死我了
Yes, sitting in the cab must be harrowing.
知道了 干坐在出租车里确实不好受
Stop throwing it out the window and put it in the trash.
别再从窗外扔下来了 扔进垃圾桶啊
See, even the dog is upset about it.
看吧 狗都受不了你
No. You tackled her.
没有 你撞倒她了
A nudge. A gentle nudge.
推 就轻轻推了下
You took her down like she had the ball at the ten-yard line.
你就是撞倒她了 就像她跑到十码线了一样
I simply felt it went to the wrong person.
我只是觉得不该给那人
She'd waste it. And this is a very nice bouquet.
她完全不值 而且这花这么漂亮
Her ears are still ringing. It has gardenias in it.
她的耳朵还在震呢 里面还有栀子花呢
Brutal. My wife is brutal.
残忍♥ 我的妻子真残忍♥啊
It was perfect, wasn't it?
很完美是不是
Yeah. Perfect.
是啊 完美
Perfect wedding,
完美的婚礼
perfect breakfast, perfect life.
完美的早餐 完美的人生
So...
所以
Last chance. For what?
最后的机会 干嘛
We could still get that apartment around the corner.
我们还可以买♥♥下街角那个公♥寓♥
Joel... We could eat here every day.
乔尔 我们可以每天来这吃早餐
I know. We could be downtown people.
我知道 我们可以成为城里人
Close to the clubs, the park.
周围就是各种俱乐部 公园
You love the park. Riverside's a park, too.
你喜欢公园的 也爱滨江公园
I thought you wanted to be a cool chick.
我还以为你想做个时尚少♥妇♥
I can be a cool chick with a doorman
即使我和一个门卫
and a Kelvinator Foodarama refrigerator, can't I?
守着台老旧冰箱我也能做个时尚少♥妇♥ 不是吗
Yes, you can.
当然 你可以的
I really love that apartment.
我真的很喜欢那套公♥寓♥
I grew up in that building.
我从小在那长大
My parents are so close.
离我父母还那么近
Very close. When we have kids,
确实近 当我们有了孩子
we can just go upstairs, drop them off,
我们可以上楼把孩子扔给他们
go downtown, and be cool cats by night.
去市中心通宵做对夜猫子
We can have it all.
我们可以拥有这一切
I'm not gonna say no to you.
我都没办法拒绝你
Not after I saw what you're capable of.
尤其是在我看到你能力之后
You love me, Joel? Rochester probably loved
你爱我吗 乔尔 罗切斯特大概爱过
that first wife of his, and then she went nuts
他的第一任妻子 她后来疯了
and burned the house down.
然后把房♥子烧了
Do you?
你爱吗
I do.
我爱
Meet me in the bathroom.
到卫生间来找我
What? Twominute head start.
什么 两分钟后
A-Are you kidding me? You're in a wedding dress.
你开玩笑吗 你还穿着结婚礼服啊
Excuse me. Where's the ladies'?
请问 女士洗手间在哪儿
Thanks. Clock starts now.
谢谢 计时开始
Who are you?
你到底是谁啊
I thought I married a nice girl.
我还以为我娶了个乖女孩
You did not.
你才没有
You alone?
一个人吗
Yes.
是的
Joel left you.
乔尔抛弃你了
I know. I was there. How do you know?
我知道 当时我在 你怎么知道的
He's at my house right now.
他现在就在我家
What?
什么
Imo... Shh.
伊莫 嘘
My arm. Shh. Shh.
我的胳膊 嘘嘘
Joel showed up at our house with this tiny girl suitcase,
乔尔拎着个小巧的女士手提箱出现在我家
and he and Archie went into Archie's office
之后和阿奇去了书房♥
and shut the door, and all I could hear was
关上了门 我只听到了
"bowling" and "pandas"... did you fight about bowling?
“保龄球”和“熊猫” 你们因为保龄球吵架了吗
No. Was there a panda?
没啊 那熊猫呢
No. Well, maybe it wasn't pandas, but it had a "P."
没有 那就不是熊猫了 但我记得有P
Joel left me for his secretary.
乔尔是为了他的秘书离开我的
What?
什么
Penny Pann. Pann like panda.
潘妮 潘 潘妮和熊猫的发音相似
Pann like panda. My God.
听着是像熊猫 天啊
Ladies, take your place.
女士们 各就各位
His secretary? His idiot secretary.
他的秘书吗 他的智障秘书
Wouldn't be better if she was smart. Actually it would.
就算不是智障也好不到哪里 还是会好一点
Everyone, arms to the sky.
各位 手臂举过头
Rag doll down.
滚到底
Shake it out.
抖起来
His secretary. How unoriginal.
秘书 也太没创意了
Unoriginality is kind of his thing lately.
他最近做的事都没什么创意
了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
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