了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel S01E01
Part 1
Oct. 5, 2020, 2:20 p.m.
Shh!
嘘
Who gives a toast at her own wedding?
谁会在自己的婚礼上致祝酒词呢
I mean, who does that?
我是说 谁会那么做啊
Who stands in the middle of a ballroom
谁会站在舞厅中♥央♥
after three glasses of champagne
往空空如也的胃里
on a completely empty stomach...
灌下三杯香槟
and I mean completely empty
我是说 空得不能再空
because fitting into this dress
因为为了塞进这条裙子
required no solid food for three straight weeks.
要整整三周不能吃固态食物
Who does that?
谁这么想不开
I do.
是我
This day is perfect.
今天是完美的一天
It's like a dream...
就像做梦一样
or a nightmare if you're my father.
如果你是我爸的话 那可能是个噩梦
"How much for the flowers?"
这些花多少钱
"Who eats mushroom caps?"
谁会吃蘑菇啊
"Do the caterers have any idea
这些厨师到底知不知道
what the Jews just went through a few years ago?"
几年前犹太人经历了什么
Two cakes, one for eating.
两个蛋糕 能吃一个
We're very happy.
我们就很开心了
This day has been long in planning.
这一天我们筹备了很久
Anyone who knows me knows I plan.
认识我的人都知道我是怎么计划的
At 6 I decided Russian literature would be my major.
六岁时我就决定大学专业是俄♥罗♥斯♥文学
At 12 I found my signature haircut.
十二岁时我找到了最适合我的发型
At 13 I announced
十三岁时 我宣布
I was going to Bryn Mawr College.
我要去布林茅尔学院
In Katharine Hepburn's old room.
就在凯瑟琳 赫本住过的宿舍
From Day 1 I knew
从第一天起 我就知道
that decision was a charmed one.
那是个令我心醉神迷的决定
First of all, my roommate Petra was friendly and fat,
首先 我的室友佩特拉人好又胖
which was perfect. I'll have someone to eat with
这太好了 我们能一起吃饭
who won't steal my boyfriend.
又不怕她抢我男友
It smells so good.
闻起来真棒
The campus was old and elegant,
校园古老而优雅
with ivy- covered buildings and stained glass windows
藤蔓爬满墙 彩色玻璃窗
and...
还
Monogrammed butter pats.
印花的黄油
What?
什么
This was a magical place
真是个令人着迷的地方
where butter was beautiful
有着漂亮的黄油
and I would solve the mysteries of the universe
而我将在此探寻宇宙的奥秘
and meet brilliant women, kindred spirits
结识杰出的女性 志趣相投的人
who would explore this brave new world with me.
她们将与我一同探寻这美丽新世界
Ooh! My God, it's burning.
哦 天哪 痛死我了
It's supposed to. It's bleach.
本来就这样 这是漂白剂
It's awful. I hate you for this.
太可怕了 都怪你给我弄这个
It was your idea. Never listen to me.
这是你的主意 再也不要听我的了
I'm nuts.
我真是疯了
Why aren't you in pain?
为什么你不痛
I'm from Kansas.
我可是从堪萨斯来的
I don't know what that means.
我不知道那是什么意思
How much longer? Ten minutes.
还要多久 十分钟
Jiminy Crickets.
受不了了
Where are you going? Where is she going?
你要去哪 她要去哪
I don't know.
我不知道
Midge. Midge?
米琪 米琪
Midge!
米琪
How much longer? Nine minutes!
还要多久 九分钟
Holy fucking Christ balls!
我的个上帝哟
But all of these marvelous adventures
但是这一切奇妙的冒险
were simply the preamble to my ultimate destiny.
都不过是指引我走向命中注定的他
I was going to meet a man...
我将遇到一个人
a perfect man.
一个完美的男人
"He would be 6'4" and blond,
他一米九五 一头金发
and his name would be Dashiell or Stafford or...
名字叫做达希尔还是斯塔福德什么的
Joel. Joel Maisel.
乔尔 乔尔 麦瑟尔
Best buildup since Iceman Cometh.
送冰人来了 之后最棒的开场白
Joel Maisel was my knight in shining armor,
乔尔 麦瑟尔就是我身披闪亮盔甲的骑士
a gift from God,
上帝的馈赠
and he thought I was brilliant.
而他觉得我也光彩照人
He took me to galleries and poetry readings
他带我去画廊和诗歌♥朗诵会
and Greek dramas.
看希腊戏剧
Excuse me. Excuse me, Miss.
等一下 等一下 小姐
Thanks, toots.
谢谢 亲爱的
Honey, don't go away.
亲爱的 别走啊
She's going to need that.
她会需要那个的
That was Misty Dream, ladies and gentlemen.
刚刚登台的是 米斯蒂 梦 女士们先生们
You know, she's only 18...
要知道 她才十八岁
in dog years.
按狗的年龄来算的话
Anyway, I'll leave the jokes to our next performer.
不过 让我把欢乐交给下一位表演者
He's fresh out of the Merchant Marines
他刚从船上
or some patriotic shit like that.
还是什么爱国的鬼东西里解脱出来
And, let's hear it for him...
让我们一起欢迎
Lenny Bruce.
莱尼 布鲁斯
This is the guy I wanted you to see.
他就是我想让你见的那个人
No way he's funnier than Misty.
我才不信他会比米斯蒂更搞笑
Thank you.
谢谢大家
And so I was reading the paper,
那时我在看报纸
and, there was a story.
故事是这样的
These kids... 8- and 9- year- old...
有群小孩 八♥九♥岁的样子
were sniffing airplane glue to get high on.
想通过闻飞机胶水嗨起来
These kids are responsible for turning musicians on
原来就是这些小孩让音乐家们
to a lot of things they never knew about, actually.
找到了灵感迸发的途径
Then I had a fantasy of how it happened.
这是怎么回事呢 我有个大胆的想法
The kid is alone in his room.
那孩子独自一人在房♥间里
It's Saturday.
那是一个周六
Well, let's see now.
现在 让我们来看看
I'm all alone in a room, and it's Saturday.
我独自一人在房♥间里 那是周六
I'll make an airplane. That's what I'll do.
我想做个飞机模型 只想做这个
I'll make a Lancaster.
我要做个兰喀斯特式飞机
Good structural design.
完美的结构设计
I'll get the balsa wood here.
我要在这用点巴沙木
I'll cut it out. I'll sand it down.
切割一下 打磨抛光
Add a little airplane glue.
涂点飞机胶水
I'll rub it on a rag and...
我用抹布擦一下
Hey now.
爽飞了
I'm getting loaded.
我要起飞了
The things Joel taught me.
这就是乔尔教我的东西
You know what I want?
你知道我想要什么吗
Please don't say a virgin.
千万别说要处♥女♥
I want to make you laugh
我想让你生命里的每一天
every day of your life.
都充满欢笑
Great, but not now, though.
真棒 但不是现在
No, no, not now.
不不 不是现在
I have been very lucky.
我一直都无比幸运
I have wonderful parents.
我有超棒的父母
I've had a very comfortable life,
舒适美好的生活
and though I knew that love would be great,
尽管我知道爱情也是美妙绝伦的
I had no idea it would be anything
但我还是不知道它到底值不值得
that could justify what I paid for this dress.
让我花大价钱买♥♥下这条裙子
What I paid for that dress. We're very happy.
是我付的钱 我们很满意
And because it's better
因为这世上
than anything I could have imagined,
没有什么比爱情更宝贵的了
I thought I should get up here today
我觉得今天我应该站在这里
and tell all of you that I love this man.
告诉在座的大家 我爱这个男人
And yes, there is shrimp in the egg rolls.
还有没错 蛋卷里有虾
Miriam.
米里亚姆
Excuse me. We have a problem.
抱歉 我们遇到了问题
Rabbi, she's kidding.
拉比 她开玩笑的
You show me in the Bible
你告诉我圣经里
了不起的麦瑟尔夫人（2017）
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
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