家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S01E18

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:21 p.m.

and they're having some pimps and hoes party this weekend.
他们这周末有个淫男浪♥女♥主题派对
He has to be there. Hey, he had to cancel last week, too, right?
他必须得参加他上周也没回来对吗
Yeah. Why?
是啊咋啦
Just, you're his girlfriend, but you're here
就是说你是他女朋友你独自在这儿
and he's away at college, you know... with the hoes.
他远在大学你懂的...跟那种女的一起混
Oh, my God.
老天
Do you think he's cheating on me?
你是说他劈腿了?
What, with, like, a cheerleader or something?
好比就像跟啦啦队长之类的么
I have no idea.
我也不确定
Primates are not meant to be faithful, Sabrina.
灵长类生物都不靠谱塞布丽娜
There has to be one male leader
它们需要有个雄性首领
served by five to ten submissive females.
他身边有五到十个雌性言听计从地伺候着
Thank you, Frank. That's very helpful.
谢谢弗兰克这话太安慰人了
Honestly, do you think that Wyatt is cheating on me?
说句实在的你真觉得怀特劈腿了吗
Who can say?
谁知道啊
That's just what happens with long distance relationships.
异地恋就是这样啦
It's probably why they almost never work.
所以才很难坚持下来嘛
You know what? I'm gonna go up there this weekend,
跟你说老娘这周直接杀过去
and I'm gonna find out for myself.
倒要看看他能玩出什么花样
There's finally a crack in their relationship.
他俩之间总算有裂痕了
Time to make my move.
老子出手的时候到了
Dude, stay away from her.
伙计离她远点
I've been working on this for, like, a year.
为了这一刻我都忙活快一年了
Really? Yeah.
真的假的没错
Okay, then.
那好吧
May the best man win.
咱俩一决雌雄
Okay, you're on.
好啊来吧
Forfeit.
我弃权
Whoa. That was intense.
刚刚好紧张啊
There is a lot of medicine in this.
这玩意儿里果然掺了不少药
You all thought I was wasting my time with Sabrina,
你们老觉得我喜欢塞布丽娜是在浪费时间
but I knew if I waited long enough, I would get my chance.
可我知道只要肯等总会有机会
Who knows? If she busts him cheating,
谁知道呢如果她发现他劈腿
we could be dating my Monday.
没准儿我俩周一就能去约会了
No. You got to go up there with her.
不你得跟她一块儿去
She's gonna be crying.
她肯定会大哭一场
She's gonna need a hug.
她需要个肩膀依靠
Your father's right. If a cute girl
你老爸说得对如果一个
like that's wandering around a college campus needing a hug,
需要安慰的美女孤身一人在校园里游荡
there's gonna be a hundred guys
肯定会有一大群男的
and at least six women willing to give it to her.
外加至少六个女的会去给她安慰的
I don't know. What if Wyatt's not cheating?
我不知道万一怀特没劈腿呢
All college guys cheat
异地恋的大学男生
when they're in long-distance relationships.
没有一个不劈腿的
Why do you think I didn't let your dad go off to college?
否则你以为我为啥不让你♥爸♥上大学
'Cause he didn't graduate high school?
因为他高中没毕业吧
For your information, there are universities
跟你说啊午夜档的时候
that advertise on late-night television
那些不需要高中毕业
that are willing to overlook that.
就能上的大学的广♥告♥多了去了
Plus, I got 1,540 on my SATs.
而且我高考得了1540分
I do really good on tests where you fill in the dots.
我很擅长填机读卡的考试哦
Anyway, look, this is your shot.
总之听着这是你的好机会
After she finds out he's cheating,
一旦她发现了他劈腿
you just bring her back here
你就赶紧把她带回来
for a little pity party, you know?
给她办个安慰聚会明白不
Light some candles, give her her favorite ice cream.
点上蜡烛买♥♥来她最爱的冰激凌
Maybe some hard cranberry lemonade.
或者来点酸梅柠檬鸡尾酒
Then you rent whatever movie you think you're gonna hate the most
然后去租一部你最讨厌的电影
She'll love it.
她肯定喜欢
All right, I'll go and call Sabrina,
好吧我去给塞布丽娜打电♥话♥
and then I'll stop and rent something with Katherine Heigl.
然后去租凯瑟琳·海格尔的片子
**I want a man with a slow hand*
*我想要双温柔的大手
**I want a lover with an easy touch*
*我想要个有求必应的情人
**I want somebody who will spend some time*
*我想要个愿意陪我的男人
**Not come and go in a heated rush *
*不要重利轻离别
**I want somebody who will understand... *
*我想要个懂我的男人...
She's in a good mood. Yeah.
她心情不错嘛是啊
**I want a slow hand... *
*我想要双温柔的...
She's been walking on clouds ever since you picked her up from Shelley's.
打从雪莉那儿回来她一直这么高兴
Okay, here we go.
好了来吧
One prune juice, low-sugar grapefruit,
西梅汁加低糖葡萄柚
or as I like to call it,
或者按我的说法
a long, slow, comfortable poop.
排除毒素一身轻松
Two more of those
两份果汁
for me and the lady here..
给我和这位女士
Make mine a double.
我的要双份
Sow my oats now.
趁现在放荡一下
Next week, MacArthur's sending my unit out to Korea.
麦克阿瑟将军下周要派我们去朝鲜
Whoa-oh, I'm so proud of you boys.
真以你们为荣
Going over and fighting people, killing.
你们去远方冲锋陷阵
I just play the piano
我只能弹弹钢琴
and raise spirits at the USO.
在美国劳军组织给大伙儿助威
You're getting a rise out of me now.
你这是在挑衅我啊
I think.
我这么觉得
I'm Mel.
我叫梅尔
I'm Barbara June.
我叫芭芭拉·琼
I can't remember my last name.
我不记得自己的姓了
Oh, nice to meet you, Barbara. Nice to meet you, too.
很高兴见到你芭芭拉我也是
Let me buy you a drink.
我请你喝一杯吧
Uh, two more of those for me and the lady here.
再给我们来两杯
Make mine a double.
我的要双份
I'm Mel.
我叫梅尔
Oh, I'm Barbara June.
我叫芭芭拉·琼
Can't remember my last name.
我不记得自己的姓了
Hey, I was gonna give the new girl a drink.
我要请这位新来的小姐喝一杯
Hey, back off, pencil neck.
滚开蠢货
Maw Maw met a man? Yup.
奶奶跟一老头儿看对眼了没错
Just don't let my husband Wilfred hear about this.
千万别告诉我老公威尔弗雷德
Oh, it would kill him.
他会伤心死的
I don't think you're gonna have to worry about that.
我觉得这你就不用操心了
I don't care. Maw Maw is not going back to Shelley's.
我不管我不会再让奶奶去雪莉那儿了
I sent her there for daycare,
我送她去那儿是为了有人照顾她
not for a geriatric hookup.
可不是为了让她搞黄昏恋
I don't see the problem. It's sweet.
我觉得没什么大不了的很甜蜜啊
Two people making each other happy.
俩人互相取暖
Sweet? You think it's sweet
甜蜜你竟然觉得甜蜜
that she's cheating on her husband?
她可是背叛了她丈夫啊
But her husband's dead.
可他丈夫早归西了
She doesn't know that.
可她不知道啊
She thinks she's having an affair.
她还以为自己有外遇了
Oh, I just...
我只是
Look, imagine we're at the store,
想想假如我们在一家店里
and you see me sneak a candy bar into my purse, right?
你看见我偷偷把糖果塞进小皮包
So you go pay for the candy bar without telling me.
然后你趁我不注意付了钱
How much was it? Uh... 50 cents.
多少钱就50美分吧
Aah, I don't like this.
我不喜欢这样
What's going on with us that you can't ask me for 50 cents?
无论如何你都不能坑我50美分
It's a hypodermic situation.
我只是说假装
Okay? The point is, is it still stealing
问题是如果那人以为他们是在偷东西
if the person who took it thinks they were stealing?
那到底算不算偷
I guess... yeah.
我想...算是吧
That-that person would be a thief.
那人的确是个小偷
So, if Maw Maw thinks she's still married,
所以倘若奶奶觉得自己仍旧已婚
then going with Mel would be...?
那和梅尔交往就算
Cheating.
劈腿
All right.
好吧
Yeah, I get it.
我懂了
Ding.
嘣噔
It's hypothetical, by the way.
顺便说一句应该是"假如"
What did I say?
我说的啥