家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S01E14

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:19 p.m.

Maw Maw's dead.
奶奶去世了
Well, I couldn't have her come over and see what a mess my life was.
我死也不能让她看到我现在这么窘迫
You both had boots on your head.
你们还往脑袋上套靴子呢
It's your fault, too.
那也是你的错
I don't know, Mom. I mean, wow.
我不知道妈您真是...
Fine. I screwed up.
好吧是我过分了
Saying someone's grandma's dead...
居然咒自己奶奶去死...
I said I screwed up and it was stupid.
我都说是我的错了我傻叉透了
Can we move past that?!
别不依不饶了行不
You guys do way stupider stuff all the time,
你俩一天到晚抽风
and I don't harp on it.
我也没叨叨你们啊
You harp all the time,
你啥时候没叨叨了
about Hope and the serial killer.
什么喜旺和她的杀人犯老妈之类的
You're a huge harper.
你就是叨叨之神
Why are you both ganging up on me?
你们干嘛一起针对我
What?! How the hell did she get here already?!
搞我呢吧她咋这么早就到了
Your story did kinda take forever.
看来你的故事还得再编一阵了
We gotta sneak Maw Maw out of here.
咱得赶紧把奶奶弄走
Just tell Delilah you lied.
就跟黛丽拉说你撒谎了呗
I lied to keep from being humiliated.
我只是不想被她当面羞辱
If she finds out I lied about Maw Maw,
如果被她戳穿了
then I'll be even more humiliated.
我就得被她羞辱至死
It's a vicious cycle,
这是恶性循环
but it's not a vicious cycle I'm willing to break.
但我可一点都不想打破它
I'm not taking Maw Maw.
我不会只身犯险去奶奶那儿的
Ever since she thinks I'm Wilfred,
自打她把我当成威尔弗雷德之后
she's having a real problem keeping her hands to herself.
她就不停地对我上下其手
And apparently, he was into some really unpleasant stuff.
而且说真的老爷子当年肯定很重口味
No, you stay here.
不你得留在家里
You're better at acting fake friendly to people we hate.
你最擅长表里不一笑里藏刀了
No, I can't take her. I have to work.
我也不能动手抓她我得去上班
You take her with you.
你把她带上
Sometimes family has to make sacrifices for each other.
为了家人有时候就得牺牲小我
Like the one my lower body made
想想我当年是怎么把你那沙滩球大小的
pushing out that beach ball-size head of yours.
脑袋从肚子里拉出来的
You owe me for that.
你欠我的
You owe us both for that.
你欠我们俩的
Hey, Delilah.
你好黛丽拉
Burt! Well, hey!
伯特你好啊
Wow, the years sure have been kind to you, mister!
你挺会保养嘛小伙
I was hoping you'd be fat and bald,
我还以为你会变成个中年秃头胖子
but no, you are hot and hairful!
但你没有你还是那么多毛火♥辣♥
Delilah, you look good, too.
黛丽拉你也不错
Yeah, well, I work at it.
我可一直致力于此呢
Plus being a pharmaceutical rep,
此外作为医药代表
I pretty much gotta test every new weight-loss drug they come out with.
所有新上市的减肥药我都能尝个遍
The new one I'm on, I can eat a whole pie
我现在吃的那个药能让我一个小时内
and it's back out in an hour.
把吃进去的一整个派给拉出来
Hey, we got pie. Come on in.
我们正好有派呢进来吧
Wherever you go in life, there's gonna be mean girls.
生活处处有贱♥人♥
They will try to tear you down.
她们千方百计整垮你
But what you have to do is be strong and confident
但是你一定要坚强自信
and never be afraid to be yourself.
永远不要害怕展露真我
Let's do this.
咱们开始吧
Yeah, we keep the room just the way she had it.
我们把她的房♥间保持原状
Kind of a Maw Maw memorial.
算是对她的纪念吧
Hey, Grandma!
你好呀奶奶级人物
Burt told me you're a grandma now.
伯特跟我说你已经当了奶奶了
How's it feel being a grandma, you ol' grandma?!
老奶奶做个奶奶好玩不
It feels fantastic.
感觉棒极了
Well, that little thing must have you running around like crazy.
这小东西一定把你折腾得够呛吧
You look exhausted and skinny as ever, you poor thing.
你看着简直面黄肌瘦啊小可怜
Did you just crinkle?
是你的声音吗
I spend a lot of time in the sun.
我这人爱晒太阳
Hey, I'll be right back.
我出去一下
I just got her an orange soda and a pie,
给她拿瓶桔子汽水外加个派
and now I'm gonna lock her back up in my van.
然后我就把她锁到卡车里
I don't know why you're hiding her.
我真不懂你藏她干嘛
Barney's gonna be gone all day training
巴尼全天都在参加
for the Big Brother/Little Brother Tandem Bicycle Race.
兄弟情深双人自行车赛的训练
Oh, hey, I know.
等等我有主意了
You should make her the store greeter.
咱们把她摆到门口接客吧
People love it when old people say hi to them.
大家都喜欢慈祥老太太的问候
That is such a good idea.
这主意真不错
She loves strangers, which is everyone
她最爱陌生人
because she can never remember who anyone is.
因为健忘人人都是陌生人
Come on.
来吧
All right, Maw Maw, you just gotta smile
好了奶奶来摆个笑脸
and welcome people into the store.
然后在门口说欢迎光临
Welcome, big nose and fat friend!
欢迎光临大鼻子和大胖子
Welcome, lady and ugly baby.
欢迎光临这位女士和丑孩子
Welcome!
欢迎光临
Ooh, you smell bad.
臭烘烘先生
Deodorant's on aisle three.
除臭剂在第三通道
What's up, lesbos?
你们好啊二位拉拉
Hey, honey, I hope you're nice to your husband
亲爱的对你老公好点哦
'cause he could have done a lot better.
他完全可以找个比你更好的
Hey, dancing freak!
你好张牙舞爪小伙
Welcome. Sorry, we don't sell chins.
欢迎光临抱歉我们店里不卖♥♥下巴
Welcome. Want to see my ass?
欢迎光临想看人家屁屁吗
Thanks, Delilah.
谢谢你黛丽拉
Yeah, pot holders and laser pointers
不错嘛刻着维纳制药的
with the name of a Wiener drug on them.
隔热垫和激光笔
You really went all out.
你够为公♥司♥卖♥♥命的
Well, a polite houseguest never shows up empty-handed.
来而不往非礼也
Woodforall is based out of Tulsa.
伍德法拉奥本部在塔尔萨
If you ever find yourself in the area, Burt,
伯特要是你哪天去了那儿
there's a house band at the airport Sheraton
会发现喜来登机场里有个乐队
that'll make you swear you've met Phil Collins.
音感神似菲尔·柯林斯
I love going near the airport.
我最爱去机场了
Okay, how about let's just cut the hoo-ha, can we?
大家都别兜圈子了
You haven't been here in 15 years. Why now?
你都走了15年了现在回来干嘛
When Maw Maw died, it was a crazy time for me--
奶奶去世后我经历了一系列变故
corporate restructuring, a kitchen remodel
公♥司♥重组厨房♥改造
and I had areola-reduction surgery
还做了个乳晕收缩手术
that was only half successful,
不算很成功
so I was a little too distracted to ask to see the will.
我忙得晕头转向都没空关心遗嘱
I'm gonna go see if we have any pie.
我去看看还有没有派了
There is no will. What?
没有什么遗嘱胡扯
Well, after you told me she died, you sent me that box
她去世后你寄给我一个大箱子
with the four quilts in it,
里头装了四条棉被
but I just figured that was part of the will.
我以为那是遗嘱的一部分
I just figured that was all you needed.
我以为你要那些就够了
With your fancy job,
你的工作光鲜亮丽
you probably got piles in some Dow Jones account.
估计都在道琼斯开户了
Well, I had close to $200,000.06,
没错我曾有将近20万美元
but as you know, that was before the stock market dipped.
但那都是股市崩♥盘♥前的事了
My relationship to the stock market
我和股市的关系
is like a tiny little ant's relationship to, um...
就像一只小蚂蚁
the stock market.
和一个西瓜的关系
We got chicken potpie.
家里只有鸡肉饼了
I know it's not the pie we were talking about... Burt.
虽然不是我们想要的那种派伯特
She's got a trick she does with pies. Burt!
她对派有绝招啊伯特
I have an upside-down mortgage, Virginia, and a nipple
我还有浮动按揭要还维吉妮亚
with a quarter-inch pleat that I have to fix.
以及25英寸的乳♥头♥褶皱还没抚平
I am due my part of the estate.
我想要回我的那份房♥产
The estate? This is the estate. You want half of this?
房♥产就是这间房♥ 你想分走一半
I want what is fair.
我的要求很公平
I deserve this house.
这房♥子是我应得的
While you were off living the high life,
你在外头享受着高档生活