家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S01E17

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:20 p.m.

Well, I mean, everybody else I know stinks,
因为我认识的其他人都严重不靠谱
and I love...
而且我最爱...
how you don't stink.
你的一点就是你靠谱
I'm sorry. I'm honored.
不好意思我很荣幸
It's just... A baby is a really intimidating responsibility.
只是养孩子是个很重的责任
Well, yeah, but you'd be great.
但你肯定没问题的
Look, I know I seem really cool and collected,
听着我这人就是是看上去淡定
but I am a basket case under pressure.
可我一紧张就玩儿完
I cried the first time I had to bag eggs.
我第一次装鸡蛋的时候都哭了
I comforted her with a warm embrace.
我用我的怀抱温暖了她
Shut up.
闭嘴
It was a bad day.
那天真是糟透了
All you need to do is spend some time alone with her,
你只需要多跟她待一会儿
and get your confidence up.
培养点信心
Okay. I'll take her out.
好吧我可以带她出去玩
But meanwhile, how about you and your family
但同时你们一家子能不能好好学学
teach each other how to handle life on your own
互相培养点独♥立♥生活能力
so I'm at least, like, number four on the list.
这样我至少能排到第四位
I just realized I can train the baby
我发现我可以把婴儿
and the python to be friends.
和蟒蛇训练成好朋友哦
I'll take your boy.
你儿子归我了
Sabrina was right.
塞布丽娜说得对
For Hope's sake, for all of our sakes,
为了喜旺也为了我们自己
we're going to teach each other how to survive.
我们得互相学习生存技能
#What I want, you got, it might be hard to handle #
#我渴望的你拥有的或许难以掌控#
#But like the flame that burns the candle #
#但就像那燃烧的蜡烛#
#The candle feeds the flame #
#蜡炬成灰火苗旺#
#What I got's full stock of thoughts and dreams #
#脑海中充满了思绪与梦境#
#That scatter #
#思绪飘零#
#You pull them all together #
#复又归拢#
#And how, I can't explain #
#无法说明#
#Well, well, you #
#就是你#
Stupid jerk bacon.
该死的培根
Rule one: don't cook shirtless.
规则一不要玩儿裸体烹饪
#Well, well, well you #
#就是你#
Rule two: don't cook eggs in the microwave.
规则二不要用微波炉煎蛋
#On a night... #
#那一夜...#
Rule three: you don't toast French toast.
规则三不要用烤面包机烤法式土司
I find the shock to be a bit of an energy boost.
我觉得电击可以振奋精神耶
But you might want to bite down on this wooden spoon
不过最好咬着木勺
to keep from taking a chunk off your tongue.
以免咬断舌头
#'Cause I ain't the way you found me #
#我不再像当初那样#
#And I'll never be the same, oh, yeah #
#我不会再回到过去#
#Well, 'cause you #
#只因为你#
Good.
很好
Look at us.
瞅瞅咱们
We each got dressed and fed
就算没有别人帮助指导
and out of the house without one bit of help or coaching.
也能个个收拾停当准备出门了
Wasn't that hard.
也不是很难嘛
I don't know why everyone else in the world
真不理解为啥其他人
makes it out like it's such a big deal.
把这事夸大成那么困难
I don't think they do, Burt. It's just us.
别人才不这样伯特这是咱家特色
Well, I still think we've done a great thing.
可我还是觉得咱们很了不起啊
And it'll make our lives better, and our family stronger.
这会让咱们越活越好咱家越来越棒
We're all gonna die.
我们死定了
I'm going to make a run for the hatch.
我要试试跑出去
Don't! You'll never make it.
不行行不通的
We have to knock you out with cold medicine
划破个口子都得让咱用感冒药迷晕你
when you get a splinter, how are you going to deal
要是屁♥股♥上开了花
with a pound of buckshot in your tushie?
你还不得折腾死啊
I can't believe I'm going to die.
真不敢相信我就快死了
I've only had sex with one person.
我才只跟一个人上过床
Me, too. Me, too.
我也是我也是
Six. Really?
我有六个真的假的
Yeah. Way to go, son.
必须的好样的啊儿子
I don't believe it.
太荒谬了
Thanks for getting us into this mess.
真谢谢你害我们沦落成这样
Wha... How is this my fault?
啥... 凭啥是我的错啊
Hey.
那啥
You know, I-I don't think
我说我觉得
I need to hang out with her alone.
我不用单独跟她出去吧
The odds of you guys
你们全♥家♥死♥光♥
dying and needing me as a guardian,
轮到我养她的机率
those chances are like, 5% at most.
最多也就5%吧
You're not just doing this for Hope.
这不只是为了喜旺
You might be a mom someday.
你以后也可能成为一个母亲
So. You're going to need to be good under pressure.
所以你得学会面对压力
So go off, have fun, and just drop her off
赶紧的好好玩
at day care when you're done.
玩完把她送到日托所去
Relax. You're going to be great with her.
不用紧张你会做得很棒的
I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
最坏能坏到哪去
A pit bull could eat her.
斗牛犬可能会吃了她
Uh... hawk attack?
老鹰可能会叼走她
Bee or jellyfish sting?
蜜蜂或水母可能会叮她
Errant puck from a street hockey game?
还有从天而降的街头曲棍球
Baby-eating zombies.
还有吃孩子的僵尸
That last one was my attempt to lighten the mood.
僵尸只是用来搞笑的
The other ones I'm seriously worried about.
其他那些我可真有点担心
See you later.
回见
Hey, where's Hope?
喜旺呢
I made a funny face in the mirror,
我照镜子时做出了一种鬼脸
I wanted to show it to her.
我想做给她看看
Uh, Sabrina took her, like, half an hour ago.
塞布丽娜带她出去了差不多半小时了
Oh, that is a good face.
哇哦这鬼脸真给力
Oh, I bet she'd like it.
她肯定会喜欢的
You really going to abandon me in my time of need?
你真打算在我需要你的时候抛弃我啊
I don't have time to help you find your dumb boot.
我没时间帮你找靴子
It's a giant pain in the butt.
简直是眼中的巨钉肉中的巨刺
Plus, that's what we put up your shelves for.
而且给你买♥♥那些架子不就是让你放鞋的么
I thought the shelves and stuff were for if you and Jimmy died.
我还以为架子什么的是等你和吉米死时用的
You know?
明白我意思不
So I'd have matching shoes at the funeral?
这样我参加你们的葬礼才能穿上匹配的鞋子
I mean, we're still helping each other, right?
咱们还是在互相帮助不是吗
I woke you up this morning.
今早就是我叫你起床的
I-I wiped away the ants.
我还清理了蚂蚁
At this point it is just stupid
我只是觉得
that you keep losing pairs of things.
你一直丢失成双成对的东西实在太蠢了
You'd lose one of your walnuts if your sack had a hole in it.
你裤子要是有洞的话蛋蛋都能被你搞丢一个
Well, I think it's stupid
我倒是觉得
that you're afraid to iron your own clothes.
你不敢熨衣服才真够蠢的
Iron's especially zappy this morning.
熨斗今天很活跃啊
You want to tame that dragon?
想驯服这条小龙吗
Daw! Jabberwocky!
我了个去还是条炸脖龙
I'm not afraid of the iron anymore,
我再也不怕熨斗了
because you showed us the trick.
因为你已经教过咱们窍门了
Dragon tamed.
龙被驯服了
Find your own boot.
自己找鞋去吧
Fine... Everybody's on their own now.
行有本事谁也别找谁帮忙
Not about everything.
也不能一概而论啊
No, let's do everything by ourselves.
不行啥都得靠自己
We taught each other the skills,
我们互相教过技巧了
so I guess we're going Han Solo on everything.
所以咱一切都得自给自足了
Which means you get to change the fuse when it blows,
也就是说要是开着熨斗又去开面包机
after starting the toaster while the iron is on.
烧了保险丝你就自己去换吧
Good luck with the ironing.
祝你玩熨斗好运
Good luck with your eggs.
祝你的早餐鸡蛋好运
Good luck with your shirt.
祝你洗衬衣好运
How do you do the fuse box latch again?
再教一遍咋开保险丝盒来着
Figure it out!
自己摸索
Hey. Where the heck is Hope?
回来了啊喜旺呢