家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S01E14

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:19 p.m.

jet-setting everywhere from-from Dallas
从达拉斯坐着飞机
all the way to Fort Worth, I was here for 20 years
离开去了沃斯堡我在这儿留守了20年
taking care of Maw Maw.
照顾奶奶
Which was no day at the beach.
连海边都没去过
Maybe it was, though, I don't know.
或许去过可我没印象了
I have never had a day at the beach.
我从没在海边好好享受过一整天
So, I guess we have to call some lawyers.
看来得找律师了
Fine. Then they'll take everything in fees
好啊把钱都塞他们荷包里
and we'll both get nothing.
我们一起当穷光蛋
I know you've got plastic wrap wrapped around that belly.
我早知道你用保鲜膜裹住肚子上的赘肉了
Oh, hey, Barney.
来啦巴尼
Frank is your little brother?
这是你弟弟弗兰克
Yeah. My father left a few months ago.
没错我爸爸几个月前走了
It was devastating.
简直是飞来横祸
Oh, man. Is your mom okay?
天啊那你妈妈还好吗
She's fine. She went with him.
她好得很跟我爸一起走了
They moved to Florida.
他们搬去了佛罗里达
The biking helps him work off his anger from the trauma.
骑车能慢慢抚平他受伤的小心灵
Sabrina could you turn around for a moment?
塞布丽娜你能转过去一会儿吗
These bike pants have a mind of their own.
这单车裤不太听使唤
Why would you let her in there?
你咋能放她进去啊
Just trying to pass the time, man.
打发打发时间嘛伙计
James!
詹姆斯
Unless there's some special
如果那不是特制的
on aged meats I don't know about,
陈年肉材
would you please remove your great-grandMaw Maw
那就劳驾你把你曾奶奶
from the deli case?!
从熟食柜里弄出来
I may need some personal time today.
我今天想请一天假
Virginia still changing the baby?
维吉妮亚还在捣鼓宝宝吗
Listen, you weren't really serious about taking
听着你没真想
half this house, were you?
拿走半间房♥吧
I mean, I know you and Virginia don't get along,
我知道你和维吉妮亚关系紧张
but she's just a little jealous of you, that's all.
但她只是有点嫉妒没别的
She always felt like you had everything.
她总觉得你应有尽有
I didn't have everything.
我也有遗憾
I didn't have you.
遗憾没能拥有你
She doesn't want me to take part
她不想让我从她的房♥子里
of a house she feels is hers?
分得一杯羹是吧
Well, I feel she took something that was mine.
可我觉得她也夺走了本属于我的东西
What are you getting at here?
你想说啥
I don't want to fight about his house.
我并非是来争房♥产的
There'll be lawyers involved, they'll take everything
那是律师的事他们全权负责
and you'll be out on the street.
把你们轰去睡大街
Tell you what.
老实说
You want to keep my half of the estate?
你想留住那一半房♥产吗
Then I want a little piece of you.
那我要你小小牺牲一下
Virginia!
维吉妮亚
You want Burt to go to second base with you?
你竟然企图跟伯特上二垒
I want what I would've had at Lake Wheeler.
我当年在惠勒湖本来就要得到他了
Are you that starved for physical affection?
你这肉体就那么饥渴吗
Yes. And I hate you.
没错而且我恨你
Look, you have my offer, think about it.
我已经提完要求了好好想想吧
In the meantime, I'm gonna go out and get myself
现在我要出去了
a nice Brazilian wax.
好好做个巴西蜜蜡脱毛
Just because your hands have to stay above my waist
你的手要搂着我的腰
doesn't mean mine have to.
不等于我也要这样
Whoa. Nice job not punching her.
厉害这一击够猛
You're not considering this, are you?
你不会真在考虑吧
I'm just looking at what's on the table here.
我要只是在权衡利弊
Second base-- that's under the bra.
二垒已经到胸罩下面了
Who knows what kind of nipple drama I'm gonna find under there?
我咋知道会摸到啥
If the tables were turned, I would do it for you.
将心比心我也会为你做那些的
You'd go to second with my cousin Paul?!
你想和我表弟保罗上二垒
This day is blowing my mind.
今天也太疯狂了吧
I'm not saying I would want to.
我那是假设又不是说我想那么做
Are you sure? 'Cause it came up pretty quick.
你确定刚刚你可说得不假思索呢
Paul has neck hair and a chin the size of a flip-flop,
谁会看上保罗那一脖子的毛和不协调的下巴啊
but I would French the hell out of that circus freak
可要是危及到房♥子
if our house was at stake!
让我♥干♥啥都行
Can't you just tell her the truth?
你和她实话实说不就得了
We'll just be in the same spot when Maw Maw does die.
我们必须把奶奶假死的戏码演下去
And, plus, if Delilah finds out I lied,
更何况要是黛丽拉发现我撒谎
she's just gonna try and use it against us in court.
她铁定会在法庭上利用这点抨击我们
It's just a big, hot wet mess.
那可将乱作一大团麻
Baby, I screwed up.
亲爱的都是我的错
I'm so sorry.
我知错了
Fine.
好吧
I'll go to second base with your cousin.
我去跟你表妹上二垒
But if it's okay with you,
不过你如果同意的话
I'm gonna be thinking about your pretty cousin Cathy.
我要求意淫你那个漂亮的表妹凯茜
No, that's not okay with me.
不我不同意
How about Aunt Rhonda? She's your aunt.
那朗达阿姨行不她是你阿姨
Do whatever you want.
你的阿姨你做主
Okay.
好吧
Thanks so much for helping me take care of Maw Maw.
太谢谢你帮我照顾曾奶奶了
Oh, no problem. Thanks for this great deli spread.
别客气谢谢给我提供免费熟食
Besides, I'll just get out the finger paints and the music.
而且我只要拿出颜料放上音乐...
No, no, no!
不不不
All these years I thought if I ever got
这么多年我一直以为
to touch another woman's breast,
如果能触摸另一个女人的酥胸
it would be my freebie.
那一定是种恩赐
And if you ever run into Xena: Warrior Princess,
要是你能遇上武神公主西娜
you still have my blessing.
我绝对祝福你
Just like you still have my blessing
你如果遇上奥林匹克英雄洛加尼斯
if you ever meet former Olympic hero Greg Louganis.
我也同样会祝福你
Ready to hand-tenderize my she-meat?
准备好用手融化我的肉蒲团了吗
I'm all plucked.
我准备好了
Oh, and I want you to wear this.
对了我要你穿上这个
How dare she expect me to put a bag over my head.
她竟敢要我在头上套个纸袋
Like she's some prize package.
搞得她自己像什么神秘大奖似的
Oh, wait, there's clothes in here.
哦不对里面有衣服
The good news is there was only, like,
好消息是
a couple gallons of gas in my moped.
我车里只有几加仑的汽油了
How many miles per gallon does it get?
每加仑能支持跑多远
Three hundred.
三百英里
I was hoping you wouldn't ask that.
我还指望着你不会问这个呢
Hey, Sarge, I lost another one.
长官我又丢了一个
An 84-year-old woman on a moped.
一位开着助力车的84岁老太太
Hair color?
头色颜色
Will you just let me know
只要告诉我你们有没有发现
if you find an 84-year-old woman on a moped?
一个开着助力车的84岁老太太就行了
There she is!
她在那
Dancing Dan, where did you get that moped?
跳舞丹这车哪来的
I traded with your Maw Maw.
我跟你曾奶奶换的
She couldn't have gotten far, right?
她肯定滑不远对吧
What are the odds she could wear your skates?
你的溜冰鞋她穿着肯定不合适啊
I know.
我明白
I have pretty small feet.
我的脚确实很小
What the hell is that?
那是啥情况
Your great-Maw Maw hit me on the head with this boom box
你曾奶奶用这个大家伙砸了我的头
and stole our bike!
然后把我们的自行车拐走了
I miss my daddy.
我想我爸爸
Thanks for putting on the clothes I got ya.
谢谢你穿上我给你的这装扮
Looking good!
太养眼了
Jelly up, cowboy.
抹上油牛仔
I'm afraid all that working outdoors might have made
我怕那些户外的工作弄糙了你的手
your hands a little too scratchy for my girly parts.
会磨损我的少女部位的
Did you bring protection in case you can't stop at second?
你准备防护措施了吗以防不能及时打住
Won't be a problem. You sure about that?
不会的你确定吗
You haven't seen me get my groove on.
你还没看到我双腿大开的美态呢