家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S01E04

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:17 p.m.

Let's do something else. Checkers?
玩点别的吧西洋棋怎样
Got regular, Chinese, the kind with the horses.
给力点就下中国象棋有马有炮的那种
Here it is-- the last picture.
找到了终极相片
You like crazy?
你不是喜欢疯狂的吗
You're gonna love this.
这个绝对合你口味
What's that?
那是啥玩意儿
The portrait place is having a special on Sunday.
照相馆周日有特♥价♥场
I thought we weren't doing portraits anymore.
我还以为再也不用照全家福了
Why? Because your father lost his mind?
为啥不照就因为你老子耍性子
We have a new baby in the house,
咱家迎来了新生命
and we are getting our family portrait, with or without him.
一定得照张全家福管他来不来
Without.
不来
Look, Jimmy, I waited too long
吉米我忍♥了很久
to stand up to her about this portrait thing.
才决定奋起反抗她那傻帽全家福
Look at you.
瞧瞧你自己
Even the thought of it turns you into a wreck.
光是想想那破事都让你紧张得想自残
Don't wait until Hope's eating her hair.
别等到喜旺开始吃她的头发再来反抗你老妈
It's disgusting.
真恶心
Be a better dad than me.
你得做个比我称职的父亲
I'm going with a '50s theme this year.
今年我要搞个50年代专题
You can slick your hair back.
你去弄个大背头
Maybe that'll keep you from eating it like a mental patient.
以防你又像个疯子一样吃自己头发
Hey, Mom?
母亲大人
Maybe we... shouldn't do, the-the picture?
咱们大概也许可能别再执着于照片了吧
What?
再说一次
It's just, it kind of stresses you out,
这事总会让你紧张过度
which kind of stresses me out,
吓得我也超级紧张
and, well, uh, there's a reason
而且咱们一直拍不出
why we don't have picture with everyone smiling in it...
全家都面带笑容的照片其实是有原因的
You told him to do this. Yup.
是不是你指使的没错
The only reason I'm stressed out
我紧张过度还不是为了
is because I'm the one who has to organize everything.
你们几个坐吃等死的懒骨头
It's like wrangling feral cats.
简直是对牛弹琴
I would be happy to sit back
我何尝不想翘个二郎腿
and let somebody else guide the ship,
把统筹大权转手他人
but it's been 24 years,
可这都24年了
and no one else seems to want to take the damn reins.
谁都不肯接这个烫手的山芋
Fine. I'll do it.
好吧我接
What?
啥
I'll take the reins
我来接这个
of the... cat ship.
烫手山芋
If he's in charge, I'm back in.
要是他管事那我就无条件回归
Fine.
随你们
Hey, when you took over the portrait stuff,
你接管统筹大权的时候
you forgot to tell me what our theme is gonna be.
没告诉我今年照相的主题
We've only got three days,
只剩三天了
so you might want to nail that down.
咱还是早点定下来比较好
Um, nothing this year.
今年的主题就是无主题
We're all just gonna wear whatever we're comfortable in.
怎么舒服怎么来
Okeydoke.
听你的
Hey, I know you probably know this,
我就是想提醒你一下
but, uh, we've only got two days before the portrait,
还有两天就要拍全家福了
and I noticed that you haven't plucked Maw Maw's neck mole yet.
我发现你还没拔掉曾奶奶颈痣上的毛
You have to do it early enough so the redness goes away,
趁早弄才不会留下红印
but late enough so it doesn't start to grow back.
但也不能太早免得到时候又长出来了
It's a pretty small window of opportunity.
这个时机可不好把握哦
Yeah, that always stresses everyone out
明白这事儿每次都搞得大伙儿团团转
with all the yelling and the holding her down and all.
次次都得连吼带叫地按住她
You're the only one that ever really notices that hair,
其实只有你才会注意到那根毛
so I think I'm just gonna let her go au natural this year.
所以今年我决定让她自然上镜
Okeydoke.
听你的
Tomorrow's Picture Day.
明天就要照相了
You got a shower schedule?
你还洗不洗澡了
We've only got 12 minutes of warm water.
供热只剩12分钟了
Yeah. We're not gonna rush in the morning.
明早再说明早咱不赶时间
I didn't want everybody freaking out over being late,
我不想大伙儿战战兢兢害怕迟到
so I figured we'd just get over there when we got over there.
所以我决定啥时收拾好啥时去
You know we get a dishwasher-safe portrait plate
但我们要是八点前去
if we get there before 8:00 a.M.
就能拿到张可供机洗的肖像碟
Yeah, I know, but since it's kind of creepy
我知道但你不觉得边吃着意面
seeing the whole family staring at you through a plate of spaghetti,
边被全家人瞪着怪恐怖的吗
I figured it didn't matter.
所以我决定那东西不要也罢
Okeydoke.
听你的
Next.
下一组
You know I said there wasn't going to be a theme, right?
我不是说了今年无主题了吗
I know. You told us to dress
我知道啊
in something we were comfortable in.
你说怎么舒服怎么穿
This is comfortable.
我穿这套就很舒服
Smile.
微笑
Thanks, Mom.
谢谢老妈
I know this is hard for you.
我知道这对你来说很不容易
Next!
下一组
Oh, my God, look...
额滴神啊
Look at that mountain.
瞅瞅那山太傻了
Okay, how would you guys like to pose?
你们打算摆啥造型
I think this looks good.
我觉得这样就挺好
That's easy. Let's do this.
这容易咱们开始吧
Here we go.
准备好了吗
One.
一
Two...
二
Stop...!
停
This is crazy.
简直疯了
This picture is going to be terrible.
照出来效果肯定烂透了
Virginia.
维吉妮亚
Look at you people.
瞅瞅你们
There's no theme.
完全没主题
How is anybody supposed to know we're a family?
别人咋会知道咱们是一家人
We look like a bunch of idiots
咱们就像一群
who just met each other at a thrift store.
在跳蚤市场偶遇的呆子
We're not even posing.
连个造型都不摆
I mean, come on.
给点激♥情♥吧
Pick something.
选个造型
Arm in arm.
手挽手
Shoulder train.
搭肩车
Conga line.
康茄舞
Rappers. Anything.
饶舌式啥都行啊
Damn it, at the very least,
最最最起码
we should be all facing away from the camera
咱们可以背对镜头
and look over our shoulders.
然后回眸一笑百媚生
Mom, settle down.
妈冷静点
It's okay.
没事的
It is not okay, Jimmy!
咋会没事吉米
It is not okay!
这很严重
Because the picture isn't perfect.
这照片效果肯定不好
And if the picture isn't perfect,
要是效果不好
there isn't any reason to take it.
咱照它就没有意义了
Oh, for God's sake,
擦杀了我吧
am I the only one who sees that giant tree branch
瞧瞧奶奶脖子上的毛都快赶上树枝了
of a hair growing out of the side of Maw Maw's neck?!
你们都看不到吗
You okay?
你还好吧
No.
不好
Jimmy's paying. Then we can get out of here.
吉米在结账了结完咱就走
I think the one picture the guy took could be all right.
我觉得咱们拍的那张会不错的
Not the worst one we've ever had.
肯定不会是史上最烂的
Why does the picture have to be perfect?
为啥非得要一张完美无缺的照片
'Cause everyone else's is.
因为别人家都有
Who? Everyone.
谁家大家
You don't understand.
你不懂
You clean people's pools, you cut their grass.
你给人清理水池修剪草坪
You're outside.
做的都是户外的工作