家有喜旺（2010）

Raising Hope S01E01

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2020, 1:15 p.m.

Unbelievable.
难以置信
It's Jimmy.
吉米的电♥话♥
Hello.
喂
Who the hell are you?
你♥他♥妈♥又是谁
I'm Mike, Jimmy's cousin.
我是迈克吉米的表兄
You and I are related by divorce or something.
因为某次离婚咱俩扯上了亲戚关系
I live in a tent in your laundry room.
我住在你洗衣房♥里的帐篷里
No, not anymore you don't.
不你别想继续住了
You guys, pack up all your gypsy circus
你们都给我收拾行李卷铺盖走人
and find another teat to suck on.
找别的奶嘴去吸吧
You're kidding me.
你开什么玩笑
The shopping cart got stolen when he was in the pawn shop.
他在典当行把购物车弄丢了
Oh, man!
不是吧
I was gonna grill burgers this weekend.
我还打算这周烤汉堡的
This baby's messing up everything.
这破孩子把家里搞得一团糟
Well, I can't just leave.
我现在走不开
We've got a situation here.
我们这儿也有麻烦
Your great-grandmother's...
你曾奶奶的
Is that Wilfred?
是威尔弗雷德打来的吗
Tell him to stop by the butcher shop on the way home,
让他回家的时候去一趟肉店
because the Greensteens are coming over for dinner tonight,
格林斯汀一家晚上要来吃饭
and all I've got in the ice box is pork chops.
冰柜里只有猪排了
Never mind. We're good.
没事了麻烦解决了
I knew I was gonna get snookered into this.
我就知道我早晚会被连累
I do not have time for a baby in my life, Jimmy.
我没空带孩子吉米
It's one time. I won't bother you again.
只此一次下不为例
Now that I have the car seat, it's safe to have her in my van.
现在我买♥♥了婴儿椅带她坐车安全多了
Your van doesn't have a back seat.
你的货车没有后座
Where are you gonna strap it in?
你把婴儿椅系在哪啊
What do you mean, strap it in?
系在哪是啥意思
She's fine. She's fine.
她没事她没事
She's totally fine.
完全没事
Can't believe you didn't strap it in.
真不敢相信你居然没把椅子系上
I just thought you had to strap the baby to the seat,
我以为只要把孩子系到椅子上
not the seat to the car.
没想到把椅子系到车上
Look, I don't know how this stuff works.
我不知道这椅子怎么用
You know how gravity works, don't you?
重力作用总该知道吧
Don't try and act so smart.
别自作聪明
The only reason you knew to strap it in
你知道要把椅子系到车上
is 'cause you already had a baby.
只是因为你带过孩子
That's not true.
才不是
We didn't have those kind of safety things
你小的时候
when you were a baby.
我们还没有这种安全设施
What are you talking about?
骗谁啊你
They had car seats 20 years ago.
这种座椅二十年前就发明出来了
I didn't say, they didn't have them.
我没说没发明出来
I said, we didn't have them.
我是说我们没用过
Mm. Virginia, squirrel.
维吉妮亚松鼠
Jimmy, be careful you don't fall in the hole.
吉米小心别掉到洞里
I can't believe I'm still alive.
真不敢相信我居然还活着
Well, you are. If you want that baby to stay alive,
你活着你要是想让这孩子也活着
you'll listen to me and take it to the fire station.
就得听我的把他送去消防局
I'm not safe dropping my baby.
我不会丢下我的孩子
You don't know what you're doing.
你根本不知道自己在做什么
I'm learning, and the more I read,
我在学而且我学的越多
the more I realize all the stuff you did wrong. E.I.
越认识到你以前的错误还有
You're not supposed to smoke in front of babies.
你不能在婴儿面前抽烟
That's only when you're pregnant, stupid.
只有怀孕的时候才不能蠢货
Anyway, I don't believe that.
反正我不信这套
I smoked with you, and you're fine.
我在你面前抽烟你还不是好好的
Fine? I had asthma the first 17 years of my life.
好我有17年的哮喘病史
I've got seven permanent teeth that still haven't come in.
有七颗恒牙到现在都没长出来
And I'm allergic to fruit.
还对水果过敏
Fruit.
水果
Fine. We'll walk home.
走你的呗我们散步回家
Book said fresh air is great for her.
书上说新鲜空气对婴儿有益
Oh, hey, it's you.
是你啊
Weird guy.
怪人
Nice car seat.
安全椅不错
Oh, yeah, thanks.
谢谢
It's a used one.
这是二手的
I can see that.
看得出来
Who used it, Baby Jesus?
以前是谁用的小耶稣吗
Yeah. It's an earlier model.
没错这是老式的了
Listen, uh, I have a question about this food.
听着我对这种食品有点疑问
Uh, it might be a stupid question,
可能是个很蠢的问题
but I feel I should ask.
但我觉得应该问问
I'm sure it's not stupid.
说吧没啥蠢不蠢的
Okay. Well, um, the book I have says
好我看到书上写
I should feed her vegetables,
应该喂她吃蔬菜
and I want to do that, but the only
我也想这么做
vegetable jars I found have pictures of either
但我找到的蔬菜罐头
black babies or Asian babies on them,
上面贴的不是黑人小孩就是亚洲小孩
and I don't know if the pictures are random, you know,
我不知道这图片是随机贴的
or if there is a reason Asian babies instead of white ones should eat
还是这种豆角是专为亚洲小孩设计的
these particular string beans.
白人小孩不能吃
That is a really good question.
问得好
The color of the babies on the jars doesn't matter.
罐头上小孩的肤色并不重要
However, it's really important
重要的是
that you do not feed her anything with a picture of a boy on it,
任何带有男孩图片的东西你都不能喂她吃
or else she will grow a penis.
否则她会长个小♥弟♥弟♥出来
And a mustache.
还有胡子
I said, it might be a stupid question.
我说吧这是个很蠢的问题
Yeah, you did. I just...
是你说了我只是
wasn't really prepared for that.
真没料到你会这么问
Well, the produce doodler is back.
商品涂鸦者又来了
Your baby stinks.
你的孩子发臭了
All right, I'll change her.
好吧我来给她换尿片
Knew I'd have to do this sooner or later.
我知道躲不过这一关的
No big deal.
没啥大不了的
Gin.
赢了
Pick up your cards, Maw Maw.
把牌拿起来奶奶
We're playing Crazy Eights.
我们玩的是疯狂八点
Okay.
好吧
Looks like we'll just use this sticky tape on the sides.
貌似我们只需要拉旁边的胶带
Shouldn't be too hard.
不是很难嘛
I need paper towels!
我要卫生纸
I need paper towels! I need paper towels!
卫生纸卫生纸卫生纸
What happened?
啥情况
I threw up on the baby.
我吐在孩子身上了
You have got to be kidding me.
你开什么玩笑
How in the world...?
究竟
All clean.
都弄干净了
And she really liked the bath, too.
她也很喜欢洗澡
I think that's gonna be a weekly thing.
我想每周都得洗一次
And since lights out at the prison was 7:30,
监狱里都是七点半熄灯的
I think it's time for Grandma and Grandpa
我想现在爷爷奶奶
to come give Princess Beyonc a kiss good night.
该给碧昂斯公主一个晚安吻了
Okay, then.
好吧那
I'll be back in five minutes.
我五分钟后回来
Deal me in next hand.
下一把让我来
Jimmy, it has been six hours.
吉米都六个小时了
People are trying to sleep.
大家都要睡觉呢
You've got to get that baby to shut up now!
你必须马上让她闭嘴
Already? Please, Mom.
已经六小时了拜托妈
Let me play with her for five more minutes.
我再逗她五分钟
Please?!
拜托
Jimmy?
吉米
Do I need to remind you that we both have to work tomorrow?!
要我提醒你明天我们都得上班吗
Maybe you can sleepwalk your way through skimming leaves,
也许你能在清理树叶的时候梦游一会