摩登家庭

Modern Family S07E22

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.

克莱尔卢克床上有个女孩
Claire. There's a girl in Luke's bed.
卢克在哪儿
Where's Luke?
跟女孩在一起啊
With the girl!
我们该制♥造♥点噪音把她吓走吗
Should we just make a noise and scare her off?
是女孩还是负鼠
Is it a girl or a possum?
亲爱的根本没人
Honey, there's no one there.
刚刚有的我看到了一个女孩还有头发
There was. I saw girl bumps and hair.
可能只是他的丘巴卡娃娃
It was probably just his Chewbacca doll.
不是娃娃那是个毛绒动作玩偶
It's not a doll. It's a plush action figure.
只要他还跟那玩意儿一起睡
Well, as long as he's sleeping with that thing,
它就只会有陪睡这个动作
it's the only action he's gettin'.
我真是松了口气我还没准备好他那样呢
I'm so relieved. I wasn't ready for that.
你以为你看到了根本不存在的东西
You thought you saw something that wasn't there.
很黑我们还一起喝了一整瓶酒
It's dark, and we shared an entire bottle of wine.
确实黑
It is dark.
我都没看到你说"一起"时那种开玩笑的样子
I didn't see you do air quotes around "shared".
好吧这些合同都没问题了
All right. These contracts are good to go.
只剩下检查了
All that's left is the inspection.
已经安排好了
Already scheduled it.
安迪如果我能把你塞进一瓶古龙水里
Andy, if I could bottle you up
然后封起来你知道我会把你命名为什么吗
and put you into a cologne, you know what I'd call it?
进取号♥
"Initiative."
黑白广♥告♥
The black-and-white commercial
会让模特都变成黑豹
would have models turning into panthers.
进取号♥ 来自加州的中性香水
"Initiative -- a unisex fragrance from California."
尽管我想继续跟你打趣
I want to come back to this because it's fun,
但我需要你的建议
but I need your advice.
你还记得我在犹他州的堂兄吗
You remember my cousin back in Utah,
-那个房♥地♥产♥开♥发♥商 -记得啊
- the real-estate developer? - Yeah.
他的副总要辞职
Well, turns out his V.P.'s leaving
去自己开公♥司♥了
to start his own company,
然后我堂兄需要人接替他现在就要...
and my cousin needs someone, like -- like, now.
那是个很不错的机...
That's a big opp--
你怎么回来了
What are you doing home?
你开玩笑吗放假了啊我回家过暑假啊
Are you serious? School's out. I'm home for the summer.
你知道的
You knew this.
我一定是走神了我好开心你回来了
Must have slipped my mind. I'm so glad you're back.
就这样了吗
That's it?
桑杰的父母给他搞了个
Sanjay's parents are throwing him
三天的"欢迎回家"派对
a three-day "Welcome Home" party.
他们甚至用金盏花给他做了一套西服
They even made him a suit out of marigolds.
真是惊喜啊小宝贝
This is a nice surprise, pumpkin.
是我在日历上
Was I too subtle with the way
艾娘娘回宫啦接驾
写得还不明显还是...
I put it on the calendar, or...
某人起床心情很好哟
Someone woke up in a good mood.
一个少年会这样子
And there is only one reason
只有一个原因
a teenage boy is ever like that.
是啊因为今天是家庭露营训练日
Yep, because it's Family Camp training day!
我本来想说
Oh, I was gonna say,
一定是哈林篮球队来了
"The Harlem Globetrotters must be in town."
卢克和我正在为很重要家庭十项全能做训练
Luke and I are training for the big...Famcathlon.
你吃得...真不少啊
You're, uh, carb-loading.
好主意哥们
Good idea, buddy!
挺饿[饥渴]呀
Hungry dude.
渴望家庭露营
Hungry for Family Camp!
别马上拒绝我快想象一下我打扮成这样
Don't say "No" right away, but picture me with these.
亲爱的你才八岁你的身体还需要时间成长
Sweetie, you're 8 years old. Give your body time to develop.
这卷发我想要烫头发
These curls! I want a perm!
你去看看你的同龄人
Take it from someone
谁有烫头发的你找不到的
who had a perm at your age -- you don't.
好了你觉得我穿这身儿上飞机怎么样
Okay, what do you think of my airplane outfit?
我降落在密苏里的时候我想马上融入其中
When I land in Missouri, I want to blend right in.
融入什么坛罐乐队吗
With what? A jug band?
我今年夏天找到了一份工作
I got a job this summer
去密苏里州橄榄球队
as an assistant defensive coordinator
当助理防守教练
for the Missouri State football team.
我要回家啦
Go, Bears! I'm going home.
我最近工作又非常忙这意味着
And I have been crazy with work, which means
莉莉得在我们俩之间来回跑
Lily will be going back and forth between the two of us.
不过我们俩在商量
It has been a little tense
时间安排的时候有点小紧张
putting together a time-share agreement, though.
我可没有故意制♥造♥紧张
I haven't been making it tense.
是你把我们女儿
You're the one who treats our daughter
当成个阿鲁巴的度假房♥产似的
like she's a vacation property in Aruba.
也许应该提拔你做个超强防守[爱还口的]教练
Maybe you should be promoted to very defensive coordinator.
-给你 -你打出了
- There you go. - Okay, you typed up
我们要怎么分享我们的女儿
how we're gonna share our daughter.
这是什么监护协议吗
What is this -- some sort of custody agreement?
我起草了一份文件
I just drafted a document
内容大致是我们昨晚商量的东西
that reflects what we discussed last night.
你老是忘记你同意了的事情啊小卡
You have a tendency to forget about things you agreed to, Cam.
那真是胡说八道
Okay, that's a bunch of hooey.
里奇我忘记拿毛巾了说明不了什么
Rich! I forgot to bring up the towels. That proves nothing.
我本不想打扰你但我去法庭快迟到了
I wouldn't bother you, but I'm late for court.
非常清楚直白
It's really very straightforward.
如果密苏里连下超过三天的雨
If it rains for more than three days in Missouri,
我的时间就抵掉一些
that borrows against my time.
相反如果莉莉去了体操营
Conversely, if Lily does go to gymnastics camp,
就要多给我一周
I get an extra week.
太难懂了
It's too confusing.
等等你是律师对吧
Wait -- You're a lawyer, right?
我能请你帮我看个东西吗
Can I actually have you take a peek at something for me?
你要干什么
W-What are you doing?
我在请律师呢
I'm lawyering up.
是啊
uh, yeah.
这份合同里有太多模糊用语了
There's a lot of ambiguous language in this contract.
我要是你就不会签的
I wouldn't sign it.
没人让他签啊
Nobody's asking him to.
我永远不会同意放弃国♥庆♥日那天陪莉莉的
You know, I never would have agreed to give up 4th of July,
现在我都担心
and now I'm worried
他在骗我放弃在好运饼干日那天陪莉莉的权力
he's trying to trick me out of Biscuit Bonanza.
好运饼干日
B-Biscuit Bonanza?
就是你听到的这样
It's what it sounds like.
是一个饼干烘焙比赛
It's a biscuit-baking competition,
比看看谁能把自己的饼干扔得最远
and then you see who can throw theirs the furthest.
我能展示一下证据A吗
May I present Exhibit "A"?
没关系米奇尔我才不在意国♥庆♥日
That's fine, Mitchell -- I don't care about 4th of July,
只要我能带莉莉参加好运饼干日
as long as I get Lily for Biscuit Bonanza.
好运饼干
Biscuit Bonanza?!
对就是你听到的这样是一个饼干烘焙...
Yeah. It's what it sounds like. It's a biscuit-baking --
算了我从来没这么讨厌过我的声音
Okay, I have never hated the sound of my own voice more.
好我要去挑衣服了
Okay. I'm gonna go pick up that costume.
什么衣服天呐小卡
What costume? Oh, my God, Cam.
别忘了和胡娇吃早午餐
Don't forget about Pepper's brunch.
好够了
Okay, stop it!
今天不是你第一天回去和克莱尔工作吗
Isn't it your first day back working with Claire?
我得先把这封邮件
I got to get this e-mail out first
发到那家搞错我订单的店里去
to a store that got my order wrong.
我看着像那种
Do I look like a guy
会穿一件全是菠萝的衬衫的家伙吗
who would wear a shirt with pineapples all over it?
有点
Kinda.
我想全用大写字母来显示我有多么生气
I want to use all caps to get across how angry I am,
但是输入每个字目前都按一次"Shift"键实在太慢了
but it takes forever to press "Shift" before each letter.
你为什么直接锁定大写
Why don't you just put on the caps lock?
可以这样吗
You can do that?
杰
Oh, Jay.
双击这里
Just double-click here.
不管用
Didn't work.
那是因为你没有双击
Well, that's because you didn't double-click.
你只是点击了两次