摩登家庭
Modern Family S07E21
Part 2
Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.
她的巧克力豆饼干的秘诀是
"The secret to her chocolate chip cookies
撒一小撮盐
was a dash of salt --"
和两大勺疯狂 因为这位女士心态失衡
"And two scoops of crazy because the lady's imbalanced."
记好咯
Hello!
克莱尔 是要祝福她 不是要苛责她
Claire, this is toast, not a roast.
你不舒服是因为这是你这辈子
Are you uncomfortable because, for the first time in your life,
第一次要变直[率]了吗
you have to be the straight man?
记好咯
Hello!
老说"记好咯"也不会让挖苦人的话变有趣的
Saying "Hello" doesn't make mean things funny.
我喜欢
I like it.
做决定的又不是你
Well, you don't get to decide.
为什么是你
How come you get to decide?
因为妈妈让我说祝酒词 不是你
'Cause Mom asked me and not you.
叫你来是因为我有负罪感
I included you because I felt bad.
好吧 我不在乎
That's fine. I don't care.
你自己搞定吧
You can do it yourself.
-我不在意 -克莱尔
- I don't care. - Claire.
等等
Wait.
不
Nope.
给你20块
This is a $20.
待会我妻子来了之后
When my wife shows up later,
"冰茶"就是威士忌的代号♥
"Iced tea" means Scotch.
外公 你会不会觉得外婆请你
Grandpa, do you think it's weird
参加她的婚礼很奇怪
Nana invited you to her wedding?
我觉得这是有史以来迪迪做出的最正常的事
I think it's the least-weird thing Dede's ever done.
如果她那么糟糕 你为什么还娶她
Well, if she was so bad, why'd you ever marry her?
我们当时都很年轻
We were young.
她很漂亮 但她一直疯个没完
She was cute, but the constant nuttiness of Dede
把我累坏了 简直都不想活了
wore me down, robbed me of my will to live.
有一天 她把我逼得受不了了
One day, she pushed me off the edge.
我从家里跑了出来
I ran out of the house.
他们在当地消防局找到了裸身的我
They found me shirtless in the local fire station.
不好意思
Excuse me.
你说的这位迪迪
This, uh, Dede that you're speaking of --
是不是迪迪·普里契特
um, is that Dede Pritchett, by chance?
你认识她吗
Do you know her?
她要嫁的人是我父亲
She's marrying my father.
不会吧
You're kidding.
真的 我们就是在去婚礼的路上
No. We're traveling to the wedding right now...
如果还会有婚礼的话
if there is one.
我得给爸打个电♥话♥
I've got to call Dad.
我早说了那女人不正常
I told you that woman was off.
小费还是改成2块好了
I'm gonna need $18 back.
不好意思
Uh, excuse me.
你好 海斯廷斯先生
Uh, hi, Mr. Hastings.
你知不知道 有没有开♥发♥出一种药
Um, do you know -- have they developed a cure yet?
治什么用的
For what?
破碎的心灵 因为我们俩的心都爽炸了
A blown mind -- because we have two of them.
你们太好了
You're too kind.
-谢谢 -谢谢
- Oh, thank you. - Oh, thank you.
我们就是超想知道列车长是怎么
Well, we are just dying to know how the conductor got
从车头来到车尾杀了大使
all the way from the front to the back, kill the ambassador,
还不被人发现的
and not be seen?
控制室有一个应急出口
There's an escape hatch in the control room.
他爬上去 从列车顶部
He climbs up, crawls his way across
爬到守车
the top of the train to the caboose.
他穿了磁性鞋 双脚牢牢吸在车顶
There, his feet firmly planted, thanks to magnetic shoes,
他倒挂着身子 向大使开枪
he hangs down, shoots the ambassador,
再按原路爬了回去
then crawls back the way he came.
太巧妙了
That is so ingenious.
他是怎么没被摄像头拍到的
How does he avoid the video cameras?
-对啊 -你说什么
- Yeah. - I beg your pardon.
车顶上的
On top of the train.
他坐的火车没装摄像头
He's on a train that doesn't have any cameras.
现在的火车都有了 老大
Oh, no, they all have cameras now -- Big Brother.
我刚在《铁路世界》的一篇文章上看到的
I just read an article about it in Rail World,
就是你座位口袋里那本杂♥志♥
the magazine in your seat pocket --
还看了一篇对业余列车长凡莱丽·柏帝内的采访
also a great interview with amateur conductor
写得可好了
Valerie Bertinelli.
如果这是真的 那谋杀不可能完成
Well, if that's true, then the murder isn't possible.
如果大使还活着
And if the ambassador is still alive,
锡尔弗顿就没理由去尼日利亚
then there's no reason for Silverton to be in Nigeria.
要是这样的话 他就不会参加行动
And if that's the case, he's not at the coup,
也就是说整件事都行不通了
which means the whole thing doesn't work.
我的上帝 我没法出书了
Dear God, I have no book.
我没法出书了
I have no book!
好后悔我还把错字圈出来了
Now I wish I hadn't circled the typos.
我还在这做什么 去找他呀
What are you still doing here? Go find him.
我不知道
I don't know.
快去啊 这个爱情故事
Come on, it's a better love story
比你看的要精彩
than the one you're reading.
你美丽 高贵 聪明
You're the beautiful, high-class, smart girl,
而他是个穷小子 跟一群流浪汉
and he's the poor boy duct-taping his shoes
以车厢为家
with a bunch of hobos in coach.
票价也就差20块
It's a $20 difference.
艾丽克斯 你能行的
Alex, you got this.
男生为火车疯狂
Trains make guys crazy.
你什么时候坐过火车
When were you ever on a train?
在拉斯维加斯 我坐火车去取的行李
In Vegas, between my plane and the luggage area.
被托运到别的地方去了
Stuff went down.
好吧 我去了
Fine. I'll go for it.
等等
Oh, wait.
别戴帽子
Nope.
曼尼喜欢戴帽子 对吧
Manny likes hats, doesn't he?
某人还对他有好感哦
Ooh, someone's still got a crush.
我并不以此为傲
I'm not proud of it.
试过要放下的
I tried to get past it.
不过 火车嘛 你懂的
But, you know, trains.
我觉得你看着挺可爱的 他应该也会这么想
Well, I think you look cute, and I bet he would, too.
嘿 小色鬼们
Hey, pervs.
我猜猜 钓妹子钓得肩膀都酸了吧
Let me guess -- shoulders tired from striking out so hard?
时间还早呢
It's still early.
我看到一枚十分硬币
Ooh, I see a dime piece over there.
就是说她是个十分妹子
That means she's a 10.
我知道 我也会说暗语
Yeah. I speak d-bag.
卢克 她年纪有点大吧
Luke, she's a little old.
詹妮弗·洛佩兹都快90岁了
Hey, Jennifer Lopez is like 90.
我偶尔还会把抱枕想象成她呢
Doesn't mean I don't pretend she's my pillow every now and then.
怎么会有妹子看上他呢
How does he have prospects?
希望你能好受些
If it makes you feel any better,
那边的小家伙可喜欢你了
that one's got a big crush on you.
我并该感到不意外
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.
我总能感觉到艾丽克斯对我的些许热情
I've always sensed a little heat from Alex.
女人要是不想钻进男人的外套
A woman doesn't compliment a man on his hat
怎么会称赞他的帽子呢
unless she wants to get into his blazer.
和好吧
Peace offering?
多谢
Thank you.
听着 很抱歉我跟你说
Look, I'm sorry I told you
妈妈选我致祝酒词而不是你
that Mom picked me for the toast and not you.
我只是觉得
It's just that
我和她一直有一种很特殊的联♥系♥
I've always had a special relationship with her.
当然了 就像女巫和飞猴的关系一样
Sure, like the one between a witch and her flying monkey.
别这样
Don't do that.
别用《绿野仙踪》酸我
Don't use "The Wizard of Oz" against me.
妈妈爱摆布你
Mom manipulates you.
她利用你来对付我们其他人
She uses you against the rest of us.
真不知道你在说什么
I have no idea what you're talking about.
天 我想个例子
Oh, God, if only I could think of an example.
等等 这是三十个例子之一
Oh, wait, here's one of 30.
她翘了艾丽克斯的毕业典礼却没告诉我们
She blew off Alex's graduation, but she didn't tell us.
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