摩登家庭

Modern Family S07E10

Part 2 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:15 p.m.

好吧你的古龙水糟透了
Fine. Your cologne is horrible.
你闻起来就好像脱衣女郎死在包厢里
You smell like a stripper died in a cabin.
我没在说古龙水
I'm not talking about my cologne.
这就是为何我会按兵不动等他自己说
That's why I hang back and wait for him to get specific.
我的胡子
My mustache.
我都留了好几周了
I've been growing it for weeks,
而你们俩安静得有点可疑
and the two of you have been conspicuously silent.
很好看
It's very dashing.
什么胡子
What mustache?
好吧杰好像我会相信你没看到似的
Right, Jay. Like I'm supposed to believe you didn't see it.
你赢了
You got me.
电影《冲突》中阿尔·帕西诺饰演的浓胡大汉
待会儿见塞尔皮科
Check you later, Serpico.
塞尔皮科
Serpico!
你连那是谁都不知道
You don't even know who that is.
杰
Jay.
你拿着高尔夫球杆要去干什么
Where are you going with your golf clubs?
去黑夜中击球
Take a shot in the dark.
可我们约了玩伴啊
But we have a playdate.
真的吗昨晚不是才玩过吗
Really? We just had one last night.
不是我不答应
Not that I'm saying no --
但今天这个节奏有点不太对啊
Just quicker turnaround than usual.
给乔约的玩伴
A playdate for Joe.
他父母都要来所以你得在场
And both parents are coming, so you have to be here.
你在开玩笑吧
You've got to be kidding me.
这年头孩子们得预约
I mean, it's bad enough that these kids today
才能和别人玩已经够惨了
have to make a date to play with each other.
他们不能到大街上去踢铁罐
They can't go in the street and kick a can
或对着朋友杂♥志♥插页上的金·诺瓦克流口水
Or drool over a friend's centerfold of Kim Novak.
五六十年代著名好莱坞电影女星
说点我能懂的好吗
Say something I understand.
我们为什么要坐在一旁看孩子玩呢
Why do we all have to sit around and watch our kids play?
因为大家现在都是这么做的
Because that's what people do now.
而且乔对此非常高兴呢
And Joe is very excited about it.
第一个真人朋友
His first real friend.
-歌♥洛莉亚 -怎么不行了
- Gloria... - What's the problem?
我很喜欢那个妈妈而且大家都说
I like the mom, and everybody says
你和那爸爸有很多共同点
that you and the dad have a lot in common.
会很有趣的
It's going to be fun.
快请进各位
Come in, everybody.
歌♥洛莉亚这是我丈夫马蒂
Gloria, this is my husband, Marty.
瞧瞧你啊
Look at you.
美得像一幅画
Pretty as a pinup.
那位传说中的幸运老公在哪儿呢
And where's the lucky husband I've been hearing about?
马蒂那是杰
Marty, that's Jay.
真好你的确也很老
Oh, good. You are old.
我还怕他们夸大其词了呢
I was scared they were exaggerating.
我可不想提前剧透
Um, so...I don't want to spoil any surprises,
不过如果让你猜的话
But, uh, if you had to guess,
你觉得我们今天是要去干嘛呢
What -- what would you say we're doing today?
对看看你能不能猜中我们的计划
Yeah, let's just see if you pick what we have planned.
我想想啊
Let's see.
天啊
Oh, my god.
是那个在奥克斯纳德的农场吗
Is it that farm in Oxnard
我小卡和莉莉一起去摘草莓的那个地方
where Cam and Lily and I went strawberry-picking?
我们度过了最棒的
We had the most wonderful --
抱歉不过你真的太会猜了
Sorry, but you are just so great at this game.
可是现在不是草莓的季节所以肯定不是那
But it's not strawberry season, so it can't be that.
这也是为何我们没选那里
Which is exactly why we didn't pick that.
那再猜
Okay, so...guess again.
等等我好像闻到了海水的味道
Wait -- do I smell the ocean?
你们是要带我去沙滩上那家超赞的卡尔顿酒店吗
Are you taking me to that fabulous Carlton's on the beach?
那儿有最
They have the most --
我们可没说一定是哦
Well, we're not making any promises,
不过这猜测挺靠谱的
but that would be a pretty good guess.
如果他们没有停业整修的话
If they weren't closed for renovations.
该死继续想米奇尔舅舅
Damn it! Think, Uncle Mitchell.
好像有点热了
It's getting a little warm in here.
你们介意开个车窗[打碎玻璃]吗
Do you mind if we crack a window?
除非我已经用头把它撞开了
Unless I've already done that with my head.
我们要停下来加油
We -- we need to stop for gas, okay?
别摘眼罩米奇尔舅舅
Just keep your blindfold on, Uncle Mitchell.
好吧
Okay.
行行吧
Fine. This is fine.
加满油
Fill 'er up!
好的女士
Yes, Ma'am.
开玩笑吧
Seriously?
这样一直开着车乱转也不是办法
We can't just keep driving around.
我们得去个什么地方
We need to go somewhere.
集中精力各位米奇尔舅舅喜欢什么
Focus, people. What does Uncle Mitchell like?
不知道基佬相关的对吧
I don't know. Gay things, right?
你们能想到的最基的东西是啥
What's the gayest thing you can think of?
他的结婚对象
He's married to it.
快看
Hey, look.
出♥售♥明星地图
每个人都爱追星我们可以带他去星房♥观光
Everybody loves stars. We could take him on a tour.
开车转悠到处看看♥房♥♥子
Driving around looking at houses
可算不上什么生日欢乐
isn't much of a birthday fun day?
我们需要更多时间
We need more time.
先把他敲晕吧
Let's knock him out.
好莱坞巨星之家
查理兹·塞隆哈里森·福特哈莉·贝瑞
Charlize Theron, Harrison Ford, Halle Berry...
均为著名演员
这些听起来都不是他的菜
None of these seem very Uncle Mitchell.
米奇尔舅舅喜欢什么呢
What does Uncle Mitchell like?
基佬的事物
Gay things.
那这个就是基王争霸赛里的霸主了
Then here's the mother lode.
芭芭拉·史翠珊[著名艺人] 太赞了
Barbra Streisand! Perfect!
等等等等等等
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
我们怎么知道这地图是不是真的
How do we know these maps are real?
你以为我拿些假地图来干这事业吗
You think I built this whole business on fake maps?
什么事业你只有一块招牌和一张草坪躺椅
What business? You got a sign and a lawn chair.
我们可以抓紧吗我可能还有只猫要喂
Can we wrap this up? I might still have a cat to feed.
处于生死之间的薛定谔的猫
菲尔估计拍了一百张我的沙滩照吧
Phil must have taken 100 pictures of me on the beach
就为了拍到我后面的裸女
just to get one shot of the topless women behind me.
你后面有裸女吗
There were topless women behind you?
账单放这了你们准备买♥♥单叫我就好
Here you go. I'll just take this when you're ready.
好谢谢
Oh, okay. Thank you.
你们今天还有什么安排吗
So, what do you two have planned for the rest of today?
没什么安排真的
Nothing...really.
但如果你们要走了这
But if you need to wind it up, it's --
不我们不急
Nah. We're good.
那好好
Yeah, good. Good.
你们呢有计划什么好玩的吗还是
Do you guys, uh, you have any fun trips planned or...
我计划着去趟卫生间
Well, I was planning on visiting the restroom,
顺利的话可能犹如西班牙四月的雨季
and if all goes well, then maybe Spain in April.
再会朋友
Adios, amigo.
与上帝同在
I vaya con dios!
管住你的手朋友
You want to keep that hand, amigo?
法国真的太美了
And France was just beautiful.
自从诺曼底登陆日后我就没去过了
I hadn't been there since D-Day.
尽管再次走过那片沙滩
Took me the same amount of time
还是花了我那么久的时间
to get across that beach, though.
你也参过军吧
You were in the service?
有不过是不同战争
Yeah, but different war.
和北朝鲜那次吧我也参加了
Oh, Korea. Me too.
不是下一场[越战] 继续猜
No, next war. Keep going.
谁要吃奶酪呢
Anybody want some cheese?
我吃不了心血管不太好
Not me. Gums up the old ticker.
杰懂的
Jay knows about that.
不懂我可爱吃奶酪了
No idea. Love the stuff.
吃杏仁小心点
Just be careful with the almonds.