摩登家庭

Modern Family S07E11

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:15 p.m.

我看起来怎么样
Well, how do I look?
非常重要的一天我要去见艾丽克斯
Big day. I'm going to see Alex.
我我有点紧张
I'm, uh -- I'm a little nervous
因为她最近有点疏远我们
because she's been pulling away lately.
打电♥话♥也不回
Calls don't get returned.
也不像以前那样经常要我去看她了
I don't get asked to visit as much.
我有点承受不来
Maybe it's hitting me hard
可能是因为我和我爸从没有过类似情况
'cause I never went through that with my dad.
我上完第一年
After my junior year,
我们一起骑双人自行车穿过米克诺斯岛
we -- we rode a tandem bike across Mykonos.
著名的同志天堂
仔细想想
Come to think of it,
那里有好多父子
there were lots of fathers and sons there.
菲尔坐下
Phil, sit.
我们得谈谈鸭子的事情
We need to talk about the ducks.
我们讨厌那些鸭子
We hate the ducks.
又来你有麻烦了
Again? You have a problem.
我听到不少抱怨
I'm hearing a lot of negatives,
但我们都忽略了小羽会捡东西的事实
but we're overlooking the fact that Feathers can now fetch.
亲爱的它从水槽拖出了个湿漉漉的热狗面包
Honey, she pulled a wet hot dog bun out of the sink,
然后你才说"去捡面包"
and you said, "get the bun."
那可不算是捡东西
That doesn't count as fetching.
拜托别告诉它们要一直待在这里
Please tell me they're not gonna live here forever.
你可不配说这个
You're really not the one to make that argument.
说得你好像不会
Oh, like you're not gonna
睡在楼上那张双层床直到老死一样
die of natural causes in that bunk bed upstairs.
听着我们给了它们一个美好的家
Look, we have provided them with a good home.
等它们准备好了自然就会走了
When they're ready, they'll leave.
随时有可能
Could be any day.
顺便替鸭子说句公道话克莱尔
Oh, and in the duck's defense, Claire,
你不能在吃早饭时故意把腿露在外面
You can't stick your leg out of your robe at breakfast
然后还假装讨厌别人看你
and then pretend to hate the attention.
你怎么没有努力抗争一下
Why didn't you fight harder about the ducks?
你听到他说了的吧
You heard what he said.
鸭子现在随时都有可能离开
The ducks could leave any day now.
是啊也可能要到两个月后
Yeah, or it could be two months from now.
或者现在随时
Or any day now.
或者一个多月...
Or a month and a half fr--
你怎么就不明白呢
How are you not getting this?
米奇打电♥话♥问你什么时候把充气床垫带过去
Mitch called. He wants to know when are you bringing
好让莉莉的朋友来家里过夜
the air mattress for Lily's sleepover.
对于一个不肯自己买♥♥充气床垫的人来说
You know, for a guy who refuses to buy his own air mattresses,
他倒是很挑剔气垫什么时候送到啊
he's pretty particular about when they arrive.
不不不别吃我的酱
No, no! Don't eat my sauce.
吃了就不够我拿去农夫市场上卖♥♥了
Then I won't have enough to sell at the farmers' market.
别天哪别戳我的嘟嘟肉
No. Oh, geez. Not the fat finger.
你总爱在我长胖时这么戳戳戳
You always do this when I put on a few.
我可什么都没说
I didn't say anything.
你说没说什么不重要
It's not what you say.
是你这该死的量油尺般的手指
It's that damn lard dipstick finger of yours.
第二指关节都陷进去了
It disappeared up to the second knuckle.
既然你们说完了
Well, now that that's over with,
我可以跟你们聊聊跟橄榄球有关的问题了吧
I can finally share my latest football-related problem.
米奇尔说得对也许我是该送过去了
Mitchell's right. I should probably get a move on.
球队没有带我一起搞季末恶作剧
The team left me out of the end-of-the-season prank.
这让我想起了以前
You know, that takes me back.
我们跟学校董事会告状说戴维斯教练是个共♥产♥党
We told the school board that coach Davis was a communist.
结果害那家伙吃了两天牢饭
The man spent a weekend in jail.
多么简单粗暴
Simpler times.
那也比这些个白♥痴♥干的好啊
Well, that's better than what these meatheads cooked up.
他们只不过把校长的车
They just parked the principal's car
停在了篮球场中♥央♥
in the middle of the basketball court.
不应该把车停那里啊
That's not where cars go.
这些混♥蛋♥为什么不带上你
Why didn't those meatballs include you?
他们嫌我自命清高
They think I'm a goody-two-shoes.
我没有啊
I'm not.
连我自己老妈都这么说吗
My own mother?
我只说你偶尔犯点法也不会怎么样
Ay, I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you to break some rules.
你是个未成年人要好好利用这一点
You're a minor. Take advantage of it.
我也会犯法啊
I break the rules.
我只是喜欢考究点的要有派头又有手段的
I just prefer to be suave, do it with panache and finesse.
这三个词也是品牌名
那些是美国的洗发水我知道
Ay, those are American shampoos. I know.
准备好听这个消息了吗
Y'all ready for this?
我把我们的酱
I got our sauce
推销给了老爷爷节日礼品篮[礼品篮业的老祖]
into The Granddaddy of All Holiday gift baskets.
哪一个
Which one?
就叫做老爷爷节日礼品篮
It's called Granddaddy's Holiday Gift Baskets.
非常高级
Very exclusive.
他们要150罐
They want 150 jars...
今晚六点就要
6 o'clock tonight.
不行这么短时间内做不出那么多啊
No! It's too much sauce for too little time.
而且我也没有关键食材了
And anyways, I don't have the key ingredient --
大红椒
The blood peppers.
我的堂兄要到下礼拜
And my cousin can't send me more
才能从哥伦比亚给我寄过来
from Colombia until next week.
比你早想到一步啦
One spicy step ahead of you.
有请塞拉诺辣椒
Enter the Serrano pepper!
没人会知道区别的
No one will know the difference.
我能
I will.
这酱是我继承传统的一部分
This sauce is part of my heritage.
我不能背弃我的身份
I cannot turn my back on who I am.
你的头发以前不是更深色一点吗
Didn't your hair used to be darker?
我是说
I'm just saying
这是推销我们的酱的大好时期
this is a great opportunity for our sauce.
我们的酱
"Our sauce"?
突然间小卡管它叫"我们的酱"了
All of a sudden, Cam is calling it "our sauce"?
这个配方是我伯祖母给我的
I got that recipe from my great aunt
那可是她母亲从一个瞎女仆那里偷来后给她的
who got it from her mother who stole it from a blind maid.
他怎么敢这么说
How dare he.
好吧我们就去弄点大红椒
Fine. We'll just go get some blood peppers.
不可能买♥♥到的
They're impossible to get.
除非你愿意犯点法
Unless you're willing to break some rules.
我们为什么说回你的事情了
Why are we back on your thing again?
正好有人在植物园里
They just so happen to grow blood peppers
种了大红椒
at the botanical gardens.
太好了我们走吧
Great. Let's go.
你太天真了
You're adorable.
我说的可是有被严密保护起来的珍稀植物
We're talking rare flora in a secure location.
好吧要怎么做
Okay, so, then what do we do?
首先为说我是个乖宝宝道歉
First, apologize for calling me a goody-goody,
因为我要说的这个计划
because I'm about to lay out a plan so daring
大胆到你们俩可能都不敢进行下去
that the two of you may not have the guts to follow it.
我要带刀吗
Should I take my knife?
我车里有棒球棒
I have my baseball bat in my car.
好了我们要偷的是辣椒
Okay, we're stealing a pepper,
不是要教训它家人
not teaching its family a lesson.
好吧
Uh, okay.
我注意到你们的一些教授
I noticed a few of your professors
坐在那种嘴巴控制的轮椅上
in those mouth-controlled wheelchairs.
我觉得他们有的只是假装看起来酷一点而已吧
I think some of them are just faking it to try and look cool.
我的个老天机器人先生实验室
Domo Arigato, Mr. Robotics lab!
什么
What?!
对啊来试试这里的手套超赞
Yeah. Come check out these gloves. They're awesome.
任何动作即便是最轻微的动作
Any movement, even the slightest motion,
这些机器手都可以照做
will be mirrored by the robotic hands.
可能应用于拆弹
Possible applications are bomb defusement,
核反应堆修复和远程神经手术
nuclear reactor repair, and remote neurosurgery.
谁只用双指就能征服每一个女机器人呢
What has two thumbs and any lady robot he wants?
这家伙
This guy.
老爸这不是玩具
Dad, this isn't a toy.