摩登家庭
Modern Family S07E09
Part 1
Nov. 28, 2019, 12:15 p.m.
乔 你马上要看到人生第一场雪啦
Joe, you're going to see your first snow.
-太令人激动了 -我等不及要做个雪银了
- It's so exciting! - I can't wait to make a snow person!
银
"Person"?
我们不能再让他上那个嬉皮学校了
We got to get him out of that hippie school.
别这样 杰
I don't know, Jay.
上次的成绩单上他得的是全海豚[全优]
Last report card, he got straight dolphins.
哥伦比亚的圣诞总是又热又嘈杂
Christmas in Colombia was always hot and loud,
人们争吵 背叛 阴谋
people arguing, betrayal, schemes.
所以我为全家租了座山顶小屋
So I rented a mountain cabin for the whole family
来庆祝我成为美国人后的第一个圣诞节
to celebrate my first Christmas as an American.
我想要一个白色圣诞节
I want a white christmas,
就像白人过的那种
You know, like white people have.
想在我们出发之前
Hey, want to hit the pipe one more time
再来一发吗
before we get on the road?
可以啊 试试也不错
Um, yeah. Couldn't hurt.
*平安夜*
*Silent night*
*圣善夜*
*Holy night*
天哪 我们太赞了
Oh, my God, we are killing it!
去年圣诞 米奇尔和我觉得
Last christmas, Mitchell and I thought it would be fun
给全家唱圣诞颂歌♥应该蛮好玩的
to sing a little Christmas carol for the family.
但可惜的是结果不是很好
Unfortunately, it didn't go so well
因为有些人喝得有点多
because somebody had a little too much to drink.
别晃你那小眼珠子了 我是当时太紧张了
Stop doing that. I was nervous.
*正是愉快的季节*
*'tis the season to be jolly*
*穿上欢庆[基佬]的服装*
*Don we now our gay apparel*
米奇尔
Mitchell?
全家人无情地嘲笑了我们一整年
The family has been mocking us relentlessly all year.
琪琪与赫伯是卡巴莱舞双人组合
起了一堆绰号♥ 像什么"尖声与赫伯"
Nicknames like Screeches & Herb,
西蒙与加丰克尔是摇滚民乐双人组合
五分钱是一支评价不佳的加拿大乐队
"西蒙和真磕碜" "五分钱"
Simon & God-awful, Nickelback.
但是今年我们要挽回尊严
But we're gonna redeem ourselves this year.
我们已经为新曲子排练了好几个月
We have been rehearsing our new number for months,
我们会在小屋里首演
and we will debut it at the cabin
作为特别的节日打脸大礼送给全家
as a special holiday "Screw you" to the family.
马蒂 听我说
Hey, Marty, listen,
虽说你的宾馆你做主 但是你的客人们
it's your hotel, but a walnut closet
会想把他们的衣服挂在胡桃木衣柜里
is a place your guests want to hang their clothes.
要是木屑板衣柜 不如自挂东南枝
A particleboard closet -- they want to hang themselves.
天天谈衣柜都快把我搞疯了
All this closet stuff is driving me nuts.
我也想生气
I want to get annoyed,
但是我现在感觉太爽了 很难生气
but it's hard when I feel this comfortable.
老天 他又要开始说他的新大衣了
Oh, God, he's gonna talk about his new coat again.
就好像是有一只母羊抱着我一样温暖
It's like getting a big, warm hug from a mama sheep.
没什么比得上纯羊皮的感觉
Nothing feels like pure sheepskin.
买♥♥衣服的那姑娘说
The gal at the store said
我看着像克里斯·克里斯托佛森[美国音乐家]
I looked like Kris Kristofferson.
我们又不知道他是谁
We don't know who that is.
我这个假期
I have so much lab homework
有超多实验作业要做
to get done during this break.
要是我能做决定
If it were up to me,
我不会让今年的圣诞到来
Christmas wouldn't even come this year.
你还能更像卡♥通♥里的坏人一点吗
Any chance you could sound more like a cartoon villain?
拜托 艾丽克斯 整整三天的冬日欢乐
Come on, Alex, it's three solid days of winter fun.
我们要坐雪橇 滑冰
We're gonna go sledding, skating,
冰钓 做雪天使
ice-fishing, make snow angels.
谁跟我一起 雪 雪
Who's with me?! Snow, snow!
雪 雪 雪 雪 雪 雪
Snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow, snow!
那是雪吗
Snow?
不是 那是叶子
No, that's a leaf.
这里比家里还热呢
It's hotter here than at home.
歌♥洛莉亚 你的每日邮件里
Gloria, in your little daily e-mails,
说的可是会很冷啊
you said it was gonna be cold.
我的手♥机♥上就是这么写的啊
That's what my phone said.
你用的是摄氏度
You're on celsius.
会很热哦 各位
It's going to be hot, guys!
火炉开着呢吗
Oh, is the furnace on?!
菲尔 快把外套脱了吧
Phil, take off that jacket.
看着你我都觉得浑身发热
You're making me hot just looking at you.
售货员说过会有这个效果
Saleslady said that would happen.
相信我 我凉爽如黄瓜
Trust me, I'm cool as cucumber.
这衣服好像懂得我的身体需要什么一样
Something about the coat just knows what my body needs.
你现在像海♥洛♥因♥上瘾了一样流着汗呢
You're sweating like a heroin addict.
快看 有钢琴呢
Oh, hey, look, a piano.
要不听"唱崩的哥俩"[卡朋特兄妹]唱首歌♥吧
Maybe we can get a little song from the Crapenters.
冷静
Be cool.
安迪的未婚妻贝丝得工作
Andy's fiancee, Beth, has to work,
所以歌♥洛莉亚请他来过圣诞
so Gloria invited him for Christmas,
情况很复杂
which is complicated
因为我们俩滚床单了 但是没人知道
because we've been having sex and nobody knows about it.
当然 我们自己知道
I mean, we know.
不能让我家人知道我们的事情
My family cannot find out about us.
我当然不会告诉他们
I'm certainly not gonna tell them.
他们还算尊重我
I still have their respect.
安迪 快点 乔做出想大号♥的表情了
Andy, chop-chop. Joe's making his bathroom face.
好了 我们快回家吧
All right, let's just go home.
这里这么热 又没有无线
I mean, it's hot. There's no wi-fi.
艾丽克斯 别这么扫兴
Alex, stop being the grinch.
如果这是最糟糕的问题 那祝你圣诞快乐
If that is the worst problem, then merry Christmas.
谢天谢地 你们都来了
Oh, thank God you made it!
我还以为你们出车祸了呢
I thought you'd gotten into a horrible car accident!
等等
Wait a second.
你们不是特里普 塔德 洛伊斯 达西和马琳
You're not Trip, Tad, Lois, Darcy, and Marlene.
-不是 我们有别的名字 -你们是谁
- No, we're other names. - Who are you?
费格·威尔逊
Fig Wilson.
我们全家每年都在这里过圣诞
My family's been coming here for the holidays for years.
我们就是从威尔逊家把这个小屋租过来的
We rented this cabin from the Wilsons.
-他们去夏威夷了 -没人跟我说过啊
- They are in Hawaii. - Nobody told me that.
那就只能 再见啦
Okay, well, bye-bye.
他们怎么能抛下我啊
How could they abandon me?
我是家里最体贴的人啊
Uh, I'm the most caring one in the family.
我警告他们小心癌症
I warn them about cancer.
我给他们的胖小孩买♥♥"超乎想象"尺寸的衣服
I buy their fat kids clothes in aspirational sizes.
我请他们所有人来参加我狗狗的葬礼
I invite them all to my dogs' funerals.
上一只狗直接冲到车流里
Last one ran straight into traffic.
我能理解原因
I can see that.
有没有可能是邀请函搞丢了
Is it possible the invitation got lost?
你看上去很不错啊
I mean... you seem great.
那我就去拿我的包走下山吧
Well, I guess I'll just get my bags and walk down the hill.
希望我能在天黑前赶到巴士站
Hopefully, I'll get to the bus station before nightfall.
现在是狼出没的季节
It's wolf season.
你何不跟我们一起过呢
Why don't you stay here with us?
圣诞节啊
It's Christmas.
我第一眼看到你的时候
First time I saw you,
还以为你会是那种刺儿头
I thought you were gonna be a pain in the ass,
但结果你是我的最爱啊
but it turns out you're my favorite.
你们觉得里面是什么东西啊
What do you think's in here?
没人告诉你那个被遗忘男孩的传说吗
No one told you the legend of the Forgotten Boy?
一百年前就是在这里发生的
Happened right here 100 years ago.
一个男孩非常坏
A boy was very bad,
所以他父母把他锁在这个秘密的房♥间里
and his parents locked him in this secret room
任由他在这里自生自灭
and left him here forever.
他们说在夜里 你能听到他
They say at night, you can hear him
努力挠墙要爬出来的声音
trying to scratch his way out.
我们吓到她了
We got her.
蠢货
Idiots.
刚才是你在挠墙 对吧
That was you scratching, right?
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
-你先走 -没关系 你先
- No, you go. - No, it's okay. After you.
我就...
Here, I'll just...
我♥干♥嘛不
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