摩登家庭

Modern Family S07E13

Part 3 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.

Oh, I hadn't noticed.
你注意到才怪
Not surprised.
我本来该给这位客户带一瓶苏格兰威士忌
Okay, I was supposed to get this client a bottle of Scotch.
可我一直没时间亲自去拿给他
I haven't had time to do it myself.
你能拿一瓶送到我办公室去吗
So can you pick one up and bring it down to the office?
没问题
Whatever you need.
我反正要出门理个发
I have to go out for a haircut anyway.
太好了
Great.
只不过我昨天已经理过发了
Except I got a haircut yesterday.
好厨房♥真乱对吧
Okay, wow. This kitchen really is a mess, huh?
我走了
I'm off.
别拍我屁♥股♥
Don't.
抱歉歌♥洛莉亚
Excuse me, Gloria.
很明显我不懂该怎么保持厨房♥整洁
Apparently, I don't know how to keep a kitchen clean.
那是什么
What is that?
这是个小小的封口礼物
Oh, it's just a little hush-up gift
好让大权在握的妻子对我感到心安理得
from my powerful wife who thinks she can take me for granted.
然后我就继续像个小狗狗一样围着她转
And I'll just hover after her like a little puppy dog.
你不能再这么忍♥着了
You have to stop putting up with it.
他们不是故意的但这种忽视只会愈演愈烈
They don't mean to ignore you, but it will only get worse.
我刚嫁给杰那时候
One time when I had just married Jay,
曾花一整天时间做他最爱吃的晚餐
I spent a whole day cooking his favorite dinner.
威灵顿牛排和带配料的焗土豆吗
Beef Wellington and a baked potato with all the fixin's?
是的
Yes.
但他回家后根本没注意我做了什么
And then when he got home, he barely noticed what I have made.
于是我就把他送我的绿宝石项链坠拿出来
So I took the emerald pendant that he had bought me
他送我那个是因为错过了之前的三顿晚饭
for the three past dinners that he had missed
我把吊坠扔他头上
and I threw it at his head.
告诉他我不需要这些漂亮珠宝
I told him I don't need fancy things.
我需要尊重
I need the respect.
你脖子上是个绿宝石吊坠吗
Isn't that an emerald pendant?
后来它又回到了我手里
It made its way back to me.
但重点在于你得表达你的意见
But the point is that you have to make a statement.
你得把那个平衡板还回去
You have to give back the hoverboard.
虽然我不想承认但你说的对
You know what? I hate to admit it, but you're right.
菲尔
Phil?
有时会这样
This happens.
只要等电池耗尽就好了
You just got to let the battery run out.
邮票用完了我要去趟邮局
We're out of stamps. I'm heading to the post office.
要带点什么吗
Do you need anything?
不用了
No, I'm good.
你在干吗
What are you doing?
只是研究点东西
Oh, uh, just a little research.
《威尔克森和成年汤米以及神秘行李箱》
"Wilkersons plus adults Tommy plus mysterious trunk."
不如试着搜搜
Okay, now try Googling
《荒谬的闲人以及同性恋》
"Irrational meddling plus homosexual."
米奇尔万一他们来自什么奇怪的邪教呢
Okay, Mitchell, what if they're a part of some weird cult?
记得我们看的那个片子吗
Remember that "20/20" we watched
他们在里面潜入那个宗教仪式
where they infiltrated the ritual ceremony
伊丽莎白·瓦尔加斯差点被迫拿一只松鼠献祭
and Elizabeth Vargas had to almost sacrifice a squirrel?
美国电视记者
我检查了他们扔在垃圾桶里的袋子
I went through the bag they dumped in the trash.
你还把咱闺女牵扯进来了
Now you're involving our daughter?
我不知道她在说啥
I don't know what she's talking about.
好吧你得离开这间屋子
Okay, you know what? You need to get out of the house.
你去买♥♥邮票
Go get the stamps.
再找个新爱好
And a hobby.
他们在我们家里
Okay, well, they're in our home,
我只是在保护我们的家
and I'm just trying to protect our family.
我可不想哪天醒来发现自己死了
I don't want to wake up dead.
真不敢相信我得再跟你说一遍
I can't believe I have to say this to you again.
死人怎么会醒过来
You cannot wake up and be dead.
我就那么一说
It's an expression!
才不是
It's not.
大爸不该让你跟他一起窥探别人
Daddy should not have involved you in his snooping.
那你不想让我告诉你我找到什么了吗
So you don't want me to tell you what I found in here?
不想
No...
我当然都查看过了
Well, of course I looked.
我在袋子里发现了乳胶手套一瓶漂白剂
And inside I found latex gloves, a bottle of bleach,
高♥强♥度防水布
heavy-duty tarp.
我从来没有杀人然后毁尸灭迹的经验
Now, I've never killed anyone and cleaned it up,
但那包东西好像就是干这个的
but that sounds like a kit.
所以我看到他们开着那辆没窗户的
So as soon as I saw them drive off
杀人必备面包车离开时我立刻跑上楼
in their windowless murder van, I-I ran upstairs.
我的天
Oh, my God!
这是什么
What are you?
那些人回来了
The people are back!
每天都要来这么一出吗汤米
Is this gonna be a daily thing now, Tommy,
又忘拿手♥机♥
losing your phone?
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
等等你去哪
Wait. Where are you going?
啥事儿我还在买♥♥邮票呢
Um, what's up? I'm still getting stamps.
看你左边
Look to your left.
你在那干啥
What are you doing?
我在隐蔽自己他们在屋里
I'm hiding. They're here.
我上来是想看看有没有什么诡异的事发生
I came up to see if anything weird was going on.
是吗你也好奇了有点想管闲事吗
Did ya? Were you curious? Gettin' a little nosy?
现在不是时候
Not the time.
这些诡异的东西是啥
What are these creepy things?
如果这些玩偶会说话
If these dolls could talk...
他们会揭发我碰掉了一个而且头还摔掉了
They'd tell you I dropped one and then their head came off.
惊悚电影《危情十日》情节
你得把它放回去
Well, you have to put it back.
说不定他们不会注意到丢了一个
Maybe they won't notice one of them's missing.
没错这真像个正常的兴趣爱好
Yeah, this seems like a casual interest.
我的天他们来了
Oh my gosh, here they come.
我来分散他们的注意好让你溜回去
Okay, I'll create a distraction so you can get back in there.
我只是邀请他们来享受一会儿鸡尾酒
I simply invited them to a complimentary cocktail hour.
就算可能是撒旦崇拜者也喜欢三层奶油乳酪
Even possible Satanists enjoy a triple-cream Brie
配清爽的霞多丽酒
and a crisp Chardonnay.
什么风把你们吹到这个镇上的
So, what brings you all to town?
我们是来参加微笑密友大会的
We're here for the Chuckled Chums Convention.
抱歉我没听懂微微笑密友是啥
I'm sorry, the -- the Chuckled Chums?
它们是一类陶瓷塑像
They're a line of ceramic figurines.
我们是狂热的收藏者
We're avid collectors.
好像很有趣
Well, that sounds fun.
是的
Yeah.
我们每年都和志同道合的密友爱好者聚在一起
Every year we gather together with like-minded Chum lovers
相互欣赏最爱的藏品
to share our favorite pieces.
什么你你是想说
Yes? You -- You want to say s--
阿嚏[救命]
Help!
愿你健康亲爱的
Oh, bless you, darling.
你们可能猜到了我是个塑像修复师
You've probably guessed. I'm the figurine restorer.
我们好激动
We're so excited.
我们的藏品是今年大会的重头戏
Ours is this year's featured collection
因为它的型号♥和完好的品相
because of its size and pristine condition.
我希望我们的工业抛光机没有太吵到你们
I hope the industrial polisher we brought wasn't too loud.
没有我们根本听不见楼上有任何声音
No, we can't hear anything that goes on upstairs.
好的
Okay.
这就行了
All right.
不
Oh, no.
不不不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
不不不不
No, no! No, no, no!
天啊不要
Oh, God, no!
幸好要重新集一套
Fortunately, Chuckle Chums
微笑密友并不是那么贵
aren't all that expensive to replace.
它们主要是那些孤独的人们
They're mainly just an excuse
出来结交朋友的一个由头
for lonely people to go outside.
关键是我们吸取了教训再也不窥私了
Point is, we learned our lesson. No more snooping.
完全正确
Absolutely.
不过我们依然解释不了
Although we still don't have an explanation
那些半夜咯吱作响的地板是怎么回事