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Modern Family S07E13

Part 1 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.

早上好总统女士
Good morning, Madam President.
请允许我向您介绍爪洼国大使
May I introduce you to the Ambassador of Java?
多谢
Oh, thank you.
因为追根究底旅行水杯
Because, after all, what is a travel mug
就是你装咖啡的橱柜
but a closet for your coffee?
很好这就是我们下一轮营销方式了
And boom, our next promotional giveaway.
你要是穿上高领毛衣和牛仔裤
Throw on a black turtleneck and some mom jeans,
我会感觉自己娶了史蒂夫·乔布斯
it's like I'm married to Steve Jobs.
我听到你昨晚发邮件
I did hear you banging out e-mails
发到了很晚
till all hours last night,
所以三明治里的黄瓜片还能用来
so the cucumbers in the sandwich can be repurposed
在午休时间消除鱼尾纹
as lunchtime crow's-feet refreshers.
谢谢
Thank you.
别忘了晚点有个酒会
Don't forget we've got drinks later.
好有没有什么玩笑不能开的
Right. Any specific joke areas I should stay away from?
没有不用担心
Oh, no, don't worry about it.
主要是我和其他人聊工作
It's mostly just me and the guys talking business.
我给你报的单车健身课你去上了吗
Hey, you using those spin classes I got you?
我上周去了两次呢
Yeah. I went twice last week.
看不出来吗
You can't tell?
当然能
Sure, I can.
接手老爸公♥司♥最棒的一点在于
The best part about taking over my dad's company --
我成了一个大权在握的白人男性我爱这感觉
I am now a powerful white male, and I love it.
我现在完全能体会为什么我们不希望
I totally get now why we don't want anyone else
其他族群拥有我们拥有的这一切
to have what we have.
亲爱的在我去上班之前
Honey, before I take off for work,
我看到了这个然后想到了你
I saw this and I thought of you.
这是什么
What is it?
是一把钥匙
It's a key?
没错
Yeah, it is.
是一把钥匙
It is a key...
但这是什么的钥匙呢
but a key to what?
不是吧
No!
不是吧
No!
你给我买♥♥了个平衡车
You got me a PhunkeeDuck?!
我的男人不再需要走路了笨蛋才走路
No more walking for my man. Walking's for jerks.
天哪有史以来最棒的礼物
Oh, my God! That is the best gift ever!
管它会去到哪里我出发了
I don't know where it stops and I begin!
超♥市♥
在哪里在哪里
Where is it? Where is it?
这些奶酪块一周比一周小了
You know, these cheese cubes keep getting smaller every week.
我得开始保留样本证明这一点了
I should start saving these to prove my point.
退休以后居然闲到这种程度
Wow, am I retired.
在那里
It's there!
好辣的酱
太美了
It's beautiful!
穿得有点暴露了
A little revealing.
我能理解利用性感来制♥造♥辣酱的卖♥♥点
I mean, I get using sex to sell your hot sauce.
这也是为何我以前拍橱柜广♥告♥要穿约达西牛仔裤
That's why I wore Jordache jeans in my old closet ads.
这也有点太过了吧
But a little much, isn't it?
效果显然很好
It's obviously working.
店里跟我说他们摆出来一百瓶酱
The store said that they put out
现在已经卖♥♥掉一半了
100 bottles of my sauce, and half of them are gone!
天哪
Oh, my.
爱丽丝姑姑
Auntie Alice!
她是辣酱业的传说
She's a hot-sauce legend.
她家的丙级辣酱
Her Level Three Sauce
宣传画是一只爆♥炸♥的公鸡
has a picture of a rooster exploding.
我得去见见她
I have to go meet her.
快过来照张相
Hey, guys, take a pic.
滚一边去这是我的老婆
Hey, get out of here! That's my wife!
我是你的超级粉丝
I am a huge fan.
您瓶罐上的人生故事我读了超多遍
I have read your life story on your label a thousand times.
您父亲真的开着装辣椒的卡车
Is it true that your father crashed his pepper truck
撞上了木瓜树因此开启了一代传奇吗
into a papaya tree and the legend was born?
你还问我什么事是真的吗
You're asking me if something's real?
我不敢相信那块人形板真的是个人
I can't believe that that cutout's an actual person.
迈尔斯
Miles?
你好杰
Oh, hey, Jay.
我想看看这条短♥信♥
Uh, trying to read a text.
这边灯光被调得很暗
They keep the lights in here so low
这样就不用把旧货撤下来了
so they don't have to rotate the produce.
少扯了
Don't give me that.
不好意思
I'm sorry, man.
雷妮塔离开以后我一直很寂寞
I've been lonely since Reynetta left.
去你的
You're a deacon.
美国按♥摩♥业多由亚洲人从事
亲爱的帮我按按脚
Honey, foot rub.
不要
Pass.
好吧又来了
Okay, there it is again!
我告诉你楼上肯定在搞什么奇怪的事
I'm telling you, something weird is going on up there.
我们把楼上的房♥间出租好赚点外快
We're renting our upstairs unit to earn a little extra cash
也给我们的婚姻添一丝紧张感
and add a little extra tension to our marriage.
现在的租客自称是
Our current guests registered
威尔克森夫妇及汤米
as Mr. And Mrs. Wilkerson and Tommy.
我以为是一对带小男孩的年轻夫妇
I was expecting a nice young couple and their little boy.
你好你们
Hello. You --
你们肯定就是威尔克森夫妇了吧
So, you -- You must be Mr. And Mrs. Wilkerson?
-没错 -那你就是汤米了
- That's right. - So you're Tommy?
正是
He is.
欢迎
Welcome.
小卡我们去帮他们搬东西
Cam, let's help them with their trunk.
不用
No!
不用吗好吧这是钥匙
No? Okay, well, uh, here is the key.
-给 -谢谢
- Here you are. - Thank you.
汤米
Tommy?
这算怎么回事
Okay, what is that all about?
三个成年人
I mean, three adults?
汤米为什么没有姓
Why doesn't Tommy have a last name?
汤米为什么不说话他是人♥质♥吗
Why doesn't Tommy talk? Is he their captive?
还是说人♥质♥其实是威尔克森太太
Is Mrs. Wilkerson their captive?
还是说人♥质♥其实在车的后备箱
Is the captive in the trunk?
所以一定要有人♥质♥吗
So there has to be a captive?
最近有些租客给了我们
Lately, we've been getting negative reviews
-负面评价 -直说吧
- from some of our renters. - Say it.
他们都提到一个共同的问题
And they tend to follow the common theme
"大个子"喜欢八卦
that the "Bigger one" is "Nosy".
而其他人说"橙发的家伙"
While others say the "Orange fella"
很冷漠不友好
is "Standoffish and cold."
谁说的
Who says that?
我刚说的
I'm saying it now.
好吧我们得弄清楚到底怎么一回事
Okay, we need to find out what that is.
小卡不要去管他们好吗
Cam, stay out of their business, all right?
要是我们的评价掉到三颗星以下
If we drop below three stars,
就只能租给烟鬼
we're gonna be stuck renting to chain smokers
或者想来美国生小孩的外国孕妇了
and pregnant foreigners trying to have their babies in America.
记好时间我开始变身成我爸了
Mark down the time. I just turned into my father.
我要上去
I'm going up.
小卡
Cam...
小卡你在干什么
Cam, what are you doing?!
我去看看我们的租客
I am checking on our guests.
你们好三位都好
Hello! Oh, all three of you.
我就是过来看看你们是不是需要
Uh, just stopped by to see if you guys need
一些干净的干净的毛巾
some fresh -- fresh towels.
我们不需要谢谢
We're fine, thank you.
你是有什么话要说吗
Uh, yes, you were gonna say something?
你也看到了对吧
You saw that, right?
威尔克森太太朝我做了个痛苦的表情
Mrs. Wilkerson was giving me the distress signal.
她刚刚这样...
She was like...
拜托
Come on.
小卡
Cam!
又是我们就是想再来看看