摩登家庭
Modern Family S07E20
Part 1
Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.
快点 乔 擦亮点
Come on, Joe. Buff that sucker.
我怎么教你的
What'd I teach you?
真卫生
Sanitary.
乔是要在1940年的火车站里找工作吗
Is Joe applying for a job in a train station in 1940?
我只是在教他些每个男人都该知道的事情
Just teaching him a few things every man should know.
总得有人早点开始教
Someone has to get in there early,
不然有时候孩子会变得很滑稽
or sometimes the kid turns out funny.
我来了
Knock, knock.
-菲尔 -大家好啊
- Hey, Phil. - Hey, guys.
菲尔 过来
Phil, in here!
你准备好搞定你的网站了吗
You ready to tackle your website?
我知道我来早了点
I know I'm here a little early.
我想我要...
I thought I was gonna be --
你能尝出来吗
Do you recognize that?
开玩笑吗 我爱死你的酱了
Are you kidding? I love your sauce.
昨天晚上吃卷饼不小心洒了一点
Some of it fell out of my burrito last night,
洒到遥控器上 我都给舔干净了
and I licked it right off the remote.
那是爱丽丝姑妈新推出的酱
That's Auntie Alice's new sauce!
她偷了我的配方
She stole my recipe!
我知道
I know.
我是个动不动就暴走
I am the crazy Colombian that always loses her temper
需要被白人安抚情绪的疯狂哥伦比亚人
and needs to be calmed down by the white people.
不 我觉得你还不够疯
No! I don't think you're being crazy enough.
我不是个暴♥力♥的人 但我知道创作出特别的东西
I'm not a violent man, but I know how nuts it can make you
结果却被人偷了 是多么让人生气的事情
to create something special only to have it stolen from you.
《神偷奶爸2》主题曲
你记得有首特别火的歌♥叫《Happy》吗
Do you remember a hit song called "Happy"?
记得啊 几年前出的吧
Yeah, it was like a couple of years ago
鼓掌啊 戴帽子的那个
with the clapping and the hat.
几年前吗
A couple of years ago, huh?
在这个出现整整四年后才出的
So a full four years after this burst on the scene.
*今儿个我倍儿爽*
*Because I'm snappy*
*如果今天很顺利 来和我一起爽*
*Snap with me if you think that today is a good day*
*没错 今儿个我倍儿爽*
*That's right, I'm snappy*
*如果今天考了满分 来和我一起爽*
*Snap with me if you took a test and you got an A*
*没错 今儿个我倍儿爽*
*You see, I'm snappy*
听着有点像 对吧
Sounds just a little similar, right?
-有点 但是... -谢谢
- A little, but -- Thank you!
但你觉得他看过这个吗
But do you think that he saw this?
点击量有27呢
Um, it had 27 views.
拜托 我们要去集市上
Come on. We're going down to that market
让那个老女人住手
to make that old bat cease and desist.
爱丽丝姑妈像法瑞尔·威廉姆斯
I will not stand idly by
Happy演唱者
那样剽窃你的作品 我可不能袖手旁观
while Auntie Alice Pharrell Williamses you.
你们俩要去哪里
Where are you two going?
去集市
To the market.
我们需要橄榄[配马丁尼]
We need olives!
灯关掉以后 她就会看到
And then when the lights go out, she'll be able to read
你T恤上的荧光墨迹
the glow-in-the-dark ink on your T-shirt.
-天哪 她会爱死的 -她 说谁呢
- Oh, my God. She's gonna love it. - She? Who's she?
你们俩在干什么呢
What are you guys working on?
-没什么 -没什么
- Nothing. - Nothing.
好吧 我懂了
Oh, okay. I get it, yeah.
他...我去卧室吧
He's -- I'll just be down in the bedroom, you know,
就...就走廊尽头那个
at the end of the -- at the end of the hall.
谢谢你帮我
Hey, thanks for your help.
我真的很喜欢那姑娘
I really like this girl,
请女孩子参加毕业舞会
and there's just so much pressure
总要做点什么特别的 简直太有压力了
to do something spectacular when you ask a girl out to prom.
你家的通风机有问题吗
Is there something wrong with your air vents?
没有 小卡偷听时就会用鼻子呼吸
No, Cam breathes through his nose when he hides.
邀请人参加毕业舞会 谁呀 劳利·沃克吗
A promposal? To who? Laurie Vock?
不会的 她被伊恩·雅各布请去了
Oh, no. She's Ian Jacobs' girl.
梅兰妮·瑞兰斯吗 她你可得小心点
Melanie Rylance? You have to be careful with her.
她的唇疱疹比艾比·布梅斯特还多
She has more cold sores than Abby Burmeister.
不过说真的 卢克 你在这里说的任何东西
But seriously, Luke, everything you say here
都是绝对保密的
is completely confidential.
他们都在找舞伴参加毕业舞会
Oh, you know, they are looking for chaperones for prom,
-我想也许我们可以 -不行
- and I thought maybe we could -- No, no.
我们那天晚上还要去看《卡巴莱》呢
We have tickets to the opening of "Cabaret" that night.
我才不要为了让某些十多岁的小姑娘别脱裙子
I'm not missing it so I can tell some teenage girl
而错过这个音乐剧
to keep her dress on.
我自己的毕业舞会就是那样干的
I spent my own prom doing that.
好吧 我能提一嘴你请教那个舅舅
Okay, can I just point out the absurdity
而不是这个 有多么荒谬吗
that you ask this uncle to advise you and not this uncle,
我曾在他办公室外挂了条情人节横幅上面写着
who hung a Valentine's banner outside of his office that said,
米奇尔 你是最好的丈夫 父亲和爱人
"Mitchell, you're the best husband, father, and lover."
我不喜欢这三个称呼放在同一个句子里
Didn't love all three of those being rolled into one sentence.
听着像奥扎克人说的
Sounded a little Ozark-y.
-小卡 住手 -怎么了
- No, Cam. Stop. - What?
卢克只是想请教一个
Luke's just looking for an adviser
简单朴素点
who's a little more understated
同时也没那么...你懂的
and a little less, you know...
大卫·斯图尔特的人
David Stuart.
我懂了
Oh, I get it.
-他挺基的 -我知道
- He's quite gay. - Yes, I got it.
好吧 知道吗
Okay, well, you know what?
我也不想让我的天分和派头
I would hate to muck up your promposal
毁了你的毕业舞会邀请
with my flair and panache.
我相信那个幸运的姑娘看到你用芥末酱
I'm sure the lucky girl will swoon with delight
在她的火鸡汉堡上
when you use a mustard bottle
写"想去吗"时 会幸福得晕过去的
to write "Wanna go?" On her turkey burger.
你好
Hello?
有人闯进家里了
There's an intruder in the house.
什么
What?!
但是有了普里契特3000卫士衣柜
But you have nothing to worry about
升级为军用级安全室
with Pritchett's Guardian 3000 Closet,
你就无需担心
which doubles as a military-grade panic room.
-所以没人闯进来吗 -没有
- So no intruder? - No!
就是这个创意让我很激动
I'm just so excited about this idea.
我下周要在橱柜大会上展示一下
I'm debuting it next week at ClosetCon.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
我觉得我在准备期末考呢
I think I'm studying for finals.
你就不能不吓我吗
Can't you scare the crap out of a focus group?
我要在北美最万众瞩目的
Like I'm gonna share my best closet idea
储物大会四天前
with a room full of strangers
在一屋子的陌生人面前
four days before the most hotly anticipated
展示我最棒的橱柜创意
storage convention in North America.
很好 你有海莉的号♥码吧
Good point. You do have Haley's number, right?
*第一次见到你的时候*
*From the first time that I saw your face*
*就已经知道你是我的真命天女*
*I knew you could be mine*
艾丽克斯·邓菲 你愿意让我成为全校最幸福的人
Alex Dunphy, would you make me the happiest cat in school
跟我在毕业舞会上摇摆吗
and swing by prom with me?
才...不要
Sha-Na-nope.
杰瑞 不知道为什么我用不了我的电脑了
Hey, Jerry. For some reason, I'm locked out of my computer.
很明显 有人在我用之前
Apparently, someone tried to access my e-mail
试图打开我的邮箱
before I got in.
有人想泄露公♥司♥机密
Someone hell-bent on leaking company secrets.
机密
还有四天就是橱柜大会了 普里契特橱柜居然有内奸
It is four days until C-Con, and Pritchett's Closets has a mole.
所有人都有嫌疑
No one is above suspicion.
玛格瑞特 你今天早上9点45分的时候在哪里
Margaret, where were you this morning at 9:45 a.m.?
对不起我迟到了
I'm so sorry I was late.
我去参加暴食匿名互戒会了
I was at Overeaters Anonymous.
我又吃着冰激凌睡着了
I woke up next to the ice cream again.
所以不是玛格瑞特
So not Margaret.
我知道那个柜子是谁的
I know who that locker belongs to.
难以置信你居然要请那个贱霍[货]参加毕业舞会
I can't believe you're asking that cheap Ho to the prom.
-小卡 -萨拉·霍
- Cam! - Sarah Ho!
她在教师节给了我个5元的礼物券
She gave me a $5 gift card for Teacher Appreciation Day.
那些鸟是要干嘛
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