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Modern Family S07E15

Part 3 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.

- What? - Eavesdropping?
寻求生意机会
Trolling for business?
你一直这样
You've been doing it
自从开始处理同性恋离婚案件
ever since you started handling gay divorce.
这有点吓人
It's kind of ghoulish.
-吓人 -没错
- Ghoulish? - Yes.
肯定是因为这样才没人希望我们出现
I'll bet that's why nobody wants us around.
就是这样你就像是同性恋婚姻的死亡天使
That's it. You're like the Angel of Death of gay marriage.
你就像老人家里的猫
You're like a cat at an old-folks' home
美国都市传说主人去世后猫饿极了会吃尸体
在快死的人旁边蜷着
who curls up next to somebody about to die.
他们还配谴责我吗
They're judging me?
菲利克斯和乔丹可是做动物皮草生意的
Felix and Jordan sell fur.
不好意思我们不小心偷听到你们在偷听我们
Sorry. We couldn't help overhearing you overhearing us.
我们的一些朋友正准备分手
Some friends of ours are breaking up,
他们需要一位好的离婚律师
and they need a good divorce lawyer.
你有名片吗
Do you have a card?
我们不小心偷听到你们在说
We couldn't help overhearing you
你们偷听到你们偷听你们
talking about you overhearing you overhearing you.
你真的在接同性恋离婚案吗我们都不知道
Are you really doing gay divorces now? We had no idea.
我刚偷听到你们偷听...
I was just overhearing you guys overhearing...
我的天这叽里呱啦的
Good Lord, it's like a game of Princess Telephone.
这是我的名片我想问一下
Here is my card, and just to be clear,
你们没有人知道我在接同性恋离婚案吗
none of you knew I was doing gay divorces?
-不知道 -有点意思
- No. - Oh, interesting.
太有意思了婚礼上玩得愉快
That's very interesting. Have a good time at the wedding.
原来这份吓人的职业
Well, how about this ghoulish profession
除了你之外所有人都觉得没问题
that no one seems to have a problem with except for you?
对不起但你一直都有点愤世嫉俗
Look, I'm sorry, but you've always been a little cynical,
我担心你看多了这些婚姻失败的案子
and I was worried you seeing all these marriages collapse
会让你不由得往那个方向发展
would push you further in that direction.
不不恰恰相反
No, no, it's the opposite.
在这些不幸夫妻身边
Being around all these unhappy couples
让我对我们所拥有的更加感激
makes me even more grateful for what we have.
太感动了你...
That's so sweet. Are...
你确定这不是你酒喝多了随便说的吗
are you sure that's not the cash bar talking?
当然不是
Of course not.
你是我所遇过最好的事
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.
你也是我所遇过最好的事
And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
小卡
Oh, Cam.
也许这才是没人希望我们出现的原因
Maybe this is why nobody wants us around
因为我们去到那里都那么感性
is because we cause an emotional scene everywhere we go.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我永远都不会成为他想要的儿子
I'll never be the son he wants.
我们会变成什么样
What's to become of us?
现在可真是难倒我了
Well, now I'm stumped.
没错那可以冷藏东西
Yep. That refrigerates stuff.
它们都可以
All of them do.
俗话说得好
But you know the saying...
所有好的开放参观日都要在两点准时结束
All good open houses must come to an end by 2:00 on the dot.
可是我妈妈还在来的路上
Oh, but my mom's still on her way.
她要来给首期
She's giving us our down payment.
你嫁给一个鼓手的时候就知道要怎么做了
You knew the rules when you married a drummer.
我们妨碍到你了吗
Are we keeping you from something?
一"拍"都没有
Not one "beat."
我有个主意
I have an idea.
要不我们用刚出炉纸杯蛋糕的香味
Why don't we greet your mom
来迎接你妈妈吧
with the smell of fresh-baked cupcakes?
材料在这里
The ingredients are in here.
威尔拿好搅拌器
Will, grab a whisk.
我会在你们俩撒糖霜之前回来
I'll be back before you two are frosting.
我在去取的路上斯坦
I'm on my way to pick it up, Stan.
我会在5...
I'll be there in like 5...
至45分钟到
to 45 minutes.
好吧纸杯蛋糕
Okay. Cupcakes.
礼不不
Pres...Oh, no. No.
该死
Damn it.
纸杯蛋糕烤糊了
The cupcakes burned.
闻起来还不错
Well, it still smells homey.
给了妈妈一个机会好好看看
And it gives Mom a chance
这里最先进的烟雾报♥警♥器是如何工作的
to see how well this state-of-the-art smoke alarm works!
跟我来妈妈
Come with me, Mom!
让我带你看看这幢好房♥子的其他部分
Let me show you around the rest of this dream house!
看到没连熨衣服都是一种享受
You see, even ironing is a delight here,
你可以感受到从滑窗外
where you can feel a cool breeze
拂进来的微风
wafting in from the open sliders.
我了个去
Mother nature!
你瞧专属的礼物包装室
Huzzah! Your own gift-wrapping room,
就像富人和名人家里的一样
just like the rich and famous.
席拉借我根手指
Sheila, finger.
来吧好的
Go right ahead. There we go.
不好意思我来晚了但别担心
Sorry I'm late, guys, but fear not.
一份生日礼物
One birthday present.
包装得像婴儿礼物一样
Wrapped in baby-shower paper.
一件熨好服帖的礼裙
One crisply pressed dress.
上边有一个之前没有的褶子
With one big pleat it didn't used to have.
至少我们知道你为什么迟到了
At least we know why you were late.
看起来你好像是从一个着火的面包店里
Looks like you rescued those cupcakes
救出来的那些纸杯蛋糕
from a burning bakery.
别担心妈妈做了那些备用的蛋糕
Don't worry. Mom made those on the off chance
以防万一你搞砸了果然不出所料
what everyone knew was gonna happen happened.
她还给我买♥♥了那条新裙子
She also bought me that new dress.
对了希望你留了发♥票♥
Oh, and I hope you kept the receipt,
因为妈妈给我买♥♥了备用的礼物
because Mom bought a backup.
好吧别因为妈妈低估我就生她的气
Well, don't be mad at your mom for underestimating me.
我们怎么可能生气呢
Oh, how could we, when she made us
她还给我们做了手工搅拌冰激凌
this fresh hand-churned ice cream?
怎么可能
Yeah. What?
对了你知道我们该怎么做吗
Oh, you know what we should do?
我们应该给她发一张我们吃冰激凌的照片
We should send her a picture of us eating it.
看来我回家至少还能给你们拍张照片
I guess it's a good thing I came home when I did.
还是我来拍比较好
It'd be better if I did it.
普里契特橱柜公♥司♥
你做了冰激凌
You churned ice cream?
是的孩子们喜欢吗
Yeah. Did the kids like it?
-她们爱死了 -太棒了
- They loved it. - Great.
但是她们知道我不会做冰激凌
But they know I can't make ice cream.
我是喝了三杯血腥玛丽之后看了购物广♥告♥
I bought that churn out of a SkyMall catalog
才买♥♥的那个搅拌器
after three Bloody Marys.
它在我车♥库♥里一块布下面盖了六年了
It's been sitting under a tarp in my garage for six years.
你可得多收敛收敛了
You've got to dial it way back.
你为什么要害怕跟生气呢
Where is this fear and anger coming from?
你会害我们被发现的
You're gonna get us caught!
一开始你就知道这是有风险的
You knew the risks when we started this.
我只是说我们最近有点马虎了
I'm just saying we're getting a little bit sloppy.
所有那些不可能的差事精致的三明治
All the impossible errands, the fancy sandwiches.
接下来的几天只要在全麦面包上涂点
Just slap a little tuna on whole wheat
-吞拿鱼就够了 -你说什么不行
- for the next couple of days. - What? N--
先等事情平息一段时间
Just until things cool off.
好吗
All right?
我只是想让你开心点
I was just trying to make you happy.
你不会阻止我的是吗
You're not gonna stop me, are you?
咖啡车只在大厅服务到四点
Coffee cart's only in the lobby until 4:00.
谢谢你克莱尔
Thank you, Claire.
谢谢
Thank you.
这太没面子了
This is mortifying.
修它的人会看到我们看的东西
Whoever we ask to fix this
觉得我们是变♥态♥
is gonna see what we're watching and think we're pervs.
那个人就不会
Not that guy.
卢克
Luke?!
你好啊玛丽安
Hi, Marianne.
你都长这么大了