摩登家庭

Modern Family S07E18

Part 4 Nov. 28, 2019, 12:16 p.m.

And even if it had,
曼尼也不会出♥卖♥♥♥他最好的朋友
Manny's not gonna rat out his best friend!
我想我要乖乖跟她合作了
I think I'm gonna take the deal.
不行
No!
你要是认怂我们跟交换留学生
You cave, we don't stand a chance
就没机会了
with those exchange students.
那些姑娘看不上弱爆的
Those girls don't respect weak, little nerds
害怕妈咪惩罚的小书呆子
afraid of being punished by their mommies.
她们经历过战争
They've lived through wars.
她们是从葡萄牙来的
They're from Portugal!
我听见有动静
I heard something.
你听见了吗
Did you hear something?
没
No.
我现在在尖叫吗
Am I screaming right now?
没有
No.
保持镇定我们就快离开这了
Stay cool. We're almost out of here.
这没人
All clear.
我们检查下卢克的房♥间
Let's just check Luke's room.
然后就可以告诉克莱尔我们什么都没发现
Then we can tell Claire we didn't find anything.
好吧我们有两个办法
Okay, there's two ways we can play this.
好的
Okay.
好吧如果我们告诉克莱尔这些孩子的事
Okay, if we tell Claire about those kids,
那就得留在这儿惩罚曼尼
we're gonna have to stay here and punish Manny
以及那个谁
and the, uh -- the other one.
那可不妙
That's no good!
我觉得那样就瞒不住我们的罪过了
I don't think we can hide our crime!
如果我们不告诉她呢
Well, then what if we don't tell her?
那样我们就成了坏家长吗
Does -- Does that make us bad parents?
或者说我们是坏家长
Or are we bad parents,
是因为我们自己都嗑嗨了却还要惩罚孩子们
because we're punishing our kids while we are high?
无论哪样我们都坏得透透的
We're bad parents either way!
真是个噩梦
This is a nightmare.
-你们好啊 -你好小蛋糕
- Oh, hey, guys. - Hey, cupcake!
我刚是叫她"小蛋糕"吗
Do I call her "Cupcake"?
别担心我来化解尴尬
Don't worry, I'll make it normal.
怎么了小蛋糕
What's going on, cupcake?
你俩还好吗
Are you guys okay?
好好好的很怎么会不好
Yeah. Yeah, we're okay. Why wouldn't we be okay?
小蛋糕
Cupcake.
我当时醉得一塌糊涂以为他俩嗑高了
I was so drunk, I thought they were stoned.
卢克卢克卢克
Luke...Luke...Luke.
保守秘密是很不好受的
Keeping a secret like this is tough --
会吞噬掉一个人的灵魂
eats away at a man's soul.
妈妈我只有一个问题
Mom, I have one question --
你为什么憎恨自己
Why do you hate yourself?
什么
What?
你晚上本可以尽情地享受高级奢华的按♥摩♥
You have one night in a spa to be massaged and pampered,
但你却情愿留在这
but you're here.
你为什么觉得自己不配得到快乐
Why don't you think you deserve happiness?
这是我今天想深入解决的谜团
That's the mystery I'm interested in solving today.
什么声音
What is that?
那是派对的声音歌♥洛莉亚对吧
That is the sound of a party, Gloria, huh?
曼尼
Ay, Manny!
明天我和我妈去上母子曼波舞课一定尴尬到爆
Tomorrow's gonna be one awkward mother/son mambo class.
接下来我要打你老娘的屁♥股♥
Next up, I paddle your mother.
-爸爸 -克莱尔
- Dad. - Claire!
嘿这才是我真正的女儿
Hey, this is my actual daughter.
今晚好几次提到了你
You came up a few times tonight.
我"老婆"也是
So has my "wife."
你们在这搞什么鬼
What are you doing here?
我们在酒吧游戏都玩遍了
We ran out of games to bet on at the bar.
克莱尔有些事我们得告诉你
Claire...there's something we have to tell you.
我们决定做什么来着
What did we decide to do again?
我们...
We, uh...
我们...我们要组织下语言
We're g-- We're gonna need a minute.
我告诉过你孩子们没犯事
I told you there was nothing going on with the boys.
你说得对
You're right.
孩子们我道歉
Boys, I apologize.
我们以人格担♥保♥ 没有任何可疑情况
We can confirm that there's nothing suspicious anywhere.
很抱歉砸坏了你的桌子路易斯
Sorry about your table, Lewis.
我还要赶另一个派对
I have another party.
我就知道
Oh, I knew it!
我就知道这俩小子在密谋着什么
I knew these two were up to something.
现在你要怎么为你的"妈宝"曼尼辩护
What do you think about your precious Manny now, huh?
我相信一定是卢克的主意
I am sure it was Luke's idea!
但先别急着放弃他
But do not give up on him yet.
我知道山上面有个营地
I know that there is a camp up in the mountains
专门收容这种坏小孩
where you can send bad kids.
不我也是共犯
No, it was my idea, too.
是我触发烟雾报♥警♥器的
I'm the one who set off the smoke alarm.
是我用汽水贿赂莉莉的
I'm the one who bribed Lily with soda.
是我在洗衣房♥放了一个红色电灯泡
I'm the one who put a red light bulb in the laundry room
来营造性感的气氛
to give it a sexy vibe.
你不能再固执地认为我还是你的乖宝宝
You've got to stop thinking of me as your perfect little boy.
亲爱的
Honey.
-楼上有个派对 -楼上有派对
- There's a party upstairs. - Party upstairs.
我真不敢相信我家宝贝竟然对我撒谎了
I cannot believe that my baby lied to me.
我真不敢相信我家宝贝坦然受贿
I cannot believe my baby accepted a bribe.
要是我就会将关注点放在
I'd be more concerned with how natural she is
-她浑然天成的喝酒姿势 -够了
- with that bottle in her hands. - Okay.
我真不该太相信自己的孩子
I shouldn't trust my kid so much.
我应该像克莱尔那样不信任任何人
I have to be more like Claire and not trust anybody.
我也不希望我猜对了但事实如此
I didn't want to be right, but I am.
于是就这结果了
So here we are.
至少我们还有艾丽克斯
At least we still have Alex.
你们连一个好孩子都没培养出来
You guys don't have any good kids,
所以现在谁是坏家长
so who's the bad parent now, huh?
-谁都不是 -菲尔别说
- Nobody. - Phil, no, don't.
不我来处理
No, no. I got this.
克莱尔我知道为什么你一直担心
Claire, I know why you're always worried.
因为你不知道未来会发生什么
Because you don't know what's going to happen.
那叫"未知恐惧"
It's called fear of the future,
或"未恐" 或"未惧"
or "Fof" Or "Fotf."
但容我剧透下一切都会好得很
But spoiler alert -- It's gonna be great.
大家我有俩字要告诉你们
Guys, I have two words for you --
想想"时间旅行"
think about time travel.
如果你们能够穿越回到从前
If you could go forward in time and turn around
转身看到此时此景我们会说
and look at this moment, we would say,
"真是太棒了"
"This is all super chill."
我们的孩子们都是好人
Our kids are good people.
他们长大了很优秀
They turn out great.
-菲尔是对的 -真的吗
- Phil's right. - Really?
那...那我也有一些想说的
Oh, t-then here's something, too.
我小的时候我从没想过我还会在这儿
When I was younger, I never thought I would be here.
但现在我就在这
And here I am.
这是什么意思
What the hell does that mean?
老天
Oh, God.
听着你不用紧张
Look, you got to relax.
他们不会有事的
They're going to be fine.
人们都有出人意料的一面
People have a way of surprising you.
没错我们今晚也有难忘的美好经历
Yes, you see, we had our own journey tonight --
原本不搭调的两人一起玩得很开心
an unlikely duo thrust together.
没轮到你发言小卡
Not your moment, Cam.
好吧我会给你们发群邮的
Oh, right. I'll send a group e-mail.
亲爱的别担心
Honey, don't worry.
你作为家长远胜过当年的我和迪迪
You're better parents than Dede and I ever were,
你长大了也依然很棒啊
and you turned out all right.
谢谢爸爸
Thanks, Dad.
我们现在该怎么办
But what do we do now?
我们该放过这些孩子们一马吗
Are we just supposed to let these kids off the hook
因为我们曾经也和他们一样顽劣