欢乐合唱团（2009）

Glee S02E17

Part 4 Nov. 17, 2020, 9:07 a.m.

So, uh, the Braniacs
智囊团让我们
asked us to be benefit heads for the Night of Neglect.
为"怀才不遇者之夜"牵头
And we would like to select you
我们想要请你来
head of talent relations.
主管表演的嘉宾
We figured you're probably used to relating
我们觉得你这么有才
to talent because you're so talented.
一定能处理好这件事
Well, first, I'm honored that you came to me,
首先呢你能来找我我感到很荣幸
but I think it's a little insensitive of you to be
但是你带着女朋友在我面前招摇过市
flaunting your dating in my face. Fantastic.
是不是有点欠考虑你能答应太好了
'Cause we are having problems with one of our performers.
因为我们跟一位演员出了点问题
A: I need a bowl of green M&Ms.
第一我要一碗绿色的MM豆
And by bowl, I mean large bowl. Well, really a small barrel.
我说的碗是很大的碗近似小桶那么大
O... kay.
好...吧
Two: I need humidifiers.
第二我需要加湿器
Lots of humidifiers.
很多加湿器
A team of humidifiers whose only job is to make
一堆加湿器以保证梅塞德斯
the air that Mercedes breathes more humid.
呼吸的空气都是滋润的
We'll try our best. Shh. I'm not finished.
我们会尽力的没完呢
Before every performance, I like to wash my hands.
每次表演之前我都喜欢洗手
And after doing so, I like to dry them on a fresh puppy.
洗完手我要用一只干净的小狗擦手
Excuse me? I believe you heard Ms. Jones.
神马我想你听到琼斯小姐的话了
In fact, if I were you, I'd probably get a whole litter
事实上我要是你我就准备一窝
of fluffy puppies, just in case she decides
毛茸茸的小狗来说不定演出结束
to take a post-show shower.
她还想洗个澡呢
Stars make demands the way that babies
明星们颐指气使
make messes in their diapers.
跟婴儿拉裤子是一个道理
They can't help it. What a star wants is
他们管不住自己明星们想要的是
to just feel appreciated and respected.
别人的认可和尊重
They just want to feel like they're being heard.
他们就是想觉得没有被忽视
She seemed pretty serious about the puppy.
狗狗的事她好像不是说着玩的
Well, obviously, hers is a talent that we have neglected.
显然我们忽视的是她的才华
I can relate.
我深有体会
So leave it to me. I'll take care of it.
让我来吧我会处理的
Hello, class.
大家好
I am the world's most famous and stylish divorcee
我是世界上最有名最有范的离婚女士
Wallace Simpson.
辛普森夫人
I was married a bunch of times, and then I fell in love
我结过好几次婚并与
with Edward VIII and made him abdicate the throne.
爱德华八世相爱并让他放弃王位
I had giant hands, so a lot of people thought
我的手超大所以很多人
I was a hermaphrodite, but that wasn't true.
觉得我雌雄同体其实我不是
Others said i was a Nazi sympathizer.
还有人说我支持纳粹
That was true.
那可是真的
Boy, did I think that Hitler showed promise!
天啊我真觉得希♥特♥勒♥很有前途呢
Tomorrow we're gonna do
明天我们讲
Catherine the Great and her pet stallion Fred,
叶卡捷琳娜二世和她的宠物种马弗雷德
so come early.
别迟到啊
We haven't been introduced.
自我介绍一下
I'm Dustin Goolsby, coach of Vocal Adrenaline.
达斯汀·古斯比肾上腺乐团的教练
Oh.
是嘛
So you're the big competition at Nationals.
那你就是全国赛的劲敌了
Well, thank you very much for volunteering your star
感谢你主动让你的明星队员来为我们的
for our Night of Neglect benefit.
"怀才不遇者之夜"晚会出力
What are you talking about? I never approved that.
你说什么啊我没同意过这种事
Let me cut to the sexy chase.
我就直奔性感主题了
Think about how many more years
想想你还有几年的
you have left of productive ovulating.
有效排卵期
Those aren't eggs in those fallopian tubes.
那可不只是输卵管里的卵子而已
They're rare, exotic pearls.
是稀有的异国的珍珠啊
Oh. So you're trying to seduce me.
你是在勾引我吗
Jackpot. This hairline is 85% my own,
没错这个发线85%是原装的
and my sperm count is off the charts.
我的精♥子♥数量高得没话说
Well...
这个嘛
...as tempting as that sounds, I have a boyfriend.
虽然听起来很有诱惑力但是我有主了
Yeah, you do now.
当然有
Admit it. I'm handsome,
承认吧就是玉树临风的我
I'm good-looking, and I'm easy on the eyes.
英俊潇洒的我赏心悦目的我
Also, I'm gorgeous.
倾国倾城的我
And I'm dating Will Schuester.
我在跟威尔·舒斯特约会
Let me tell you something about Will Schuester.
我来告诉你威尔·舒斯特是什么样的吧
That guy has tiny baby hands.
那家伙的手小的可怜
Seriously. It's weird.
真的很怪的
Once I saw him try to pick up a Big Mac,
有一次我看到他想要拿起一个巨无霸
and he couldn't do it.
却拿不起来
He had to eat it layer by layer.
他只好一层一层的吃
Teeny, tiny, wee
小的可怜的
baby hands.
小手
That are big enough to knock your teeth out.
但是足够打得你满地找牙了
Well, this is awkward.
这可真尴尬
Consider my offer.
想想我的话吧
What offer?
他说什么了
He was just hitting on me.
他就是想泡我罢了
Isn't that silly?
真是太二了
What's wrong?
你怎么了
Well, we were supposed to have lunch, and you don't show.
我们应该一起吃午饭的你却放我鸽子
And now you're getting hit on by the coach of our archrival.
现在我们的主要竞争对手又来泡你
How is that my fault?
听你这意思是我错了
And by the way, I did show up for lunch,
我去找你吃饭了
and you looked like you were actually having
但是你好像
a pretty good time.
跟别人正吃得开心
I kind of felt like I was intruding, so...
我觉得我好像打扰你们了所以
Oh, man. I am...
天啊我
I am not the jealous type, Will.
我不是乱吃醋的人威尔
Neither am I.
我也不是
Look, how about instead of a pointless argument,
这样吧我们不要吵毫无意义的架
we rehearse our duet for the benefit?
还是为筹款晚会练习二重唱吧
I really don't, uh, feel in the mood to do a duet right now.
我现在真的没心情合唱
I think I just have to clear my head.
让我整理一下思绪
Uh, no problem.
没关系
I'll see you at the benefit.
晚会上见
Well, as you can see, we have followed
正如你所见我们竭尽全力
your exact specifications.
满足您尊贵的身份
Wait, where's my puppy?
等等我的狗狗呢
She specifically asked for a puppy.
她特别要求过得有一只狗狗
This is unbelievable.
难以置信
How am I supposed to work like this? Don't worry.
这可叫我怎么定心工作别担心
Puckerman is out right now scouring pounds
帕克曼正在四处奔波
for the perfect Pomeranian.
找寻最可爱的博美
Good. This is almost worthy of the artist
很好这种待遇才配得上
doing the closing number at the benefit.
晚会压轴的大腕
Well, actually, Sunshine is going to be doing the last number,
其实阳阳将压轴出场
because she's bringing in hundreds of people.
因为她带来了数以百计的粉丝
And so, I'll go on before Sunshine because, I'm, well, me,
我会为阳阳垫场原因你们懂的
and Ms. Holliday and Mercedes will go on before me.
霍利戴女士和梅塞德斯在我之前上
Fine.
好吧
But Ms. Jones isn't happy about it.
但琼斯小姐很不开心
In exchange, she's demanding
作为交换她要求
that during the day of the benefit, her feet
晚会当天
never touch the ground. Excuse me?
她的脚将不会落地我没听错吧
Oh, did you not see Celine's wedding? Carried in.
你难道没看过席琳的婚礼吗抬进场
Cher's comeback tour? Carried in.
还有雪儿的复出巡演抬进场
Gaga at the Grammys?
Gaga在格莱美上也一样
Carried the hell in.
劳驾把我抬进场
Um, I'm sorry. Are-Are
抱歉
you saying that you want to be carried in in a giant egg?
你是想被装进巨蛋抬进场
We'll get back to you.
等我们回复
And that was the Spanish classroom.
这里过去是西班牙语课教室
And of course, you know the choir room.
这里你知道的排练室
Hey, you guys, you better
你们快去大礼堂
get in the auditorium. The show's about to start.
演出快开始了
It's going to be a full house, ya'll.
今天铁定座无虚席