消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm S09E02
Part 6
Oct. 3, 2020, 1:49 p.m.
Look at you. Do you like it?
看看你 喜欢吗
I... I'm stunned!
我都震惊了
This is... I... my mind's exploding!
这简直 我真是大开眼界
Oh, my gosh. This is incredible.
哦天啊 真是了不起
Look at you. Look at you! Oh, really?
看看你 看看你 哦真的吗
Ugh! You think so?
嗯 你觉得呢
Well, I am so happy,
啊 我可高兴了
and I owe it all to you.
这都归功于你
It worked. It worked.
很管用 管用了
It worked. My life has been changed.
管用 我的生活变了
Business... never been better.
生意没这么好过
The men... gentle, respectful.
男人都温柔有礼貌了
I did a hooker mitzvah! It's a hooker mitzvah!
我办了一次妓♥女♥成人礼 这简直是妓♥女♥成人礼
You are a visionary.
你真有远见
I don't know what I can do to properly show my thanks.
我不知道该怎么做才算感谢你
You don't have to do anything.
你什么都不用做
The mere fact that you're happier having sex
事实就是你和各种人嘿♥咻♥的时候
with a multitude of strangers,
可以更愉快了
that's all... that's all the thanks I need.
这就是 就是我要的感谢
Aw, Larry!
噢拉里
That's awesome. Thank you!
太棒啦 谢谢你
You know what? This is unbelievable that I actually ran...
你知道吗 我其实专门跑过来
I came here specifically looking for you.
来找你的 是不是吃惊
Oh, you did? Yes, I did.
真的吗 没错
Oh, that's amazing! Yeah, because I actually do
真是太神奇了 嗯 因为我其实
need your services. You do?
需要你的帮忙 是吗
Yes. Okay, well, fine.
嗯 好的没关系
It's for... it's for my friend's nephew.
是给我朋友的侄子
His name is Kenny Funkhouser. Of course!
他叫肯尼冯克豪瑟 嗯啊
Tell me when and where. I'll be there.
告诉我时间地点 我过去
No problem. Fanta...
没问题 棒
I feel great, I feel great. Hey, do you want a drink?
感觉真好 嘿 你要喝点什么吗
Just a quick drink? Uh, no, let's get a, uh...
就喝一杯 呃 别了我们还是 嗯
let's raid the minibar like normal people.
我们还是和别人一样去冰箱拿吧
I'll be right back. Okay.
我这就回来 没事
Yes.
嗯
Here, give it to me, give it to me!
给我 给我
You can't open it!
你打不开
We need to get a butter knife.
我们得搞一把黄油刀
Come on, let me give it another try. No.
让我再试一次 不
We need a plier, we need a plier.
得用钳子 我们需要钳子
But a hatchet will shatter the entire jar.
小斧头会把罐子整个弄碎
Get a plier. She can't open it.
找副钳子来 她打不开的
What, 'cause I'm a woman? Yeah, exactly!
为什么 就因为我是女的？ 对 没错
We need one more shot. Give me that!
我们得再试一次 给我！
Mr. Dancer!
丹瑟先生
Whoa!
噢！
Huh? Wow.
怎么样？ 天哪
Yeah! Wow, are you serious?
太棒了 你在逗我吧
Are you for... Claudia, get security.
你真是...克劳迪娅 叫保安来
I'll keep Mr. Buck Dancer here.
我会让巴克丹瑟先生呆在这儿
Okay? No, I gotta get...
不行 我得...
I don't care, I don't care.
我不管 我不管
I'm not touching cookies, I'm not talking tongs!
我没碰饼干 也没跟夹子过不去
I don't care! I warned you if you came back here, this would happen.
我不管 我警告过你 如果回来的话我就叫保安了
Get out of my way, baldy! Ahah!
别挡路 秃子 不要
That is it, sir. You are out of here. Unhand me, you brute!
够了 先生 你得离开了 放开我 你个畜生
I have dementia!
我有老年痴呆
What the...?
搞什么...
Unbelievable!
没看错吧
As often as I can. Really?
尽我所能 真的吗
Yes... No.
真的 才不信
So, are you nervous? A little.
紧张吗 有点
Oh, well, don't worry. I'll take care of everything.
别担心 都由我来负责
You just lay back and relax. Okay.
你就躺下 放松 好
I like your dress.
我喜欢你的裙子
Aw, thanks! I got it at Saks Fifth Avenue.
谢谢 在第五大道萨克斯百货买♥♥的
Oh, that... that's a nice store. - Mm-hmm.
哦 那家店很不错 对啊
Take your clothes off, Kenny.
把衣服脱了 肯尼
You know, Mary, she's with this guy,
玛丽 跟这个家伙在一起
he's bald with glasses... he looks just like me!
他秃顶 戴眼镜 看上去跟我一样
She said I wasn't her type.
但是她跟我说我不是她的菜
Unbelievable. And now Ted...
简直难以置信 现在特德...
Ted's going out with Cheryl.
特德跟谢丽儿在一起了
What about that?
怎么能这样？
Well, you haven't been married to her in a long time.
你都跟她离婚那么久了
There's nothing wrong with that!
这没什么不可以啊
Would you do something like that?
你会做这样的事吗
You wanna go out with Cheryl, you do it behind my back.
想跟谢丽儿约会 瞒着我就行
You'd never know. That's the way to do it.
你绝不会知道 这样就对了
Yeah. I called Cheryl.
我给谢丽儿打过电♥话♥
I called her twice. For what?
打过两次 为什么
Just to talk to her and see how she was doing,
就是跟她聊聊 问问她近况
and shopping tips and stuff like that.
给点购物建议什么的
We had a cup of coffee. You're kidding.
我们喝过一次咖啡 你在开玩笑吧
Two movies. What?
看过两场电影 什么？
A walk in the park.
在公园里散过一次步
Yeah, well, it's not a big deal.
但这没什么大不了的
One dinner.
吃过一次晚餐
I went behind your back!
都是背着你干的
It's the only way to go!
只能这样
Yeah, that's true.
这倒是真的
Boy, Kenny sounds like he's having some fun.
听上去肯尼玩得很开心啊
Tough to listen to, though.
我听着倒是百感交集
Oh, my God.
天哪
Oh, I got a... I got a Skype thing with the Iranian consul guy.
我跟...跟伊朗领事约了视频电♥话♥
I'll see you later.
一会儿找你
I'm not staying here by myself.
我才不要一个人呆在这儿
Mr. David, at last we meet face to face.
大卫先生 终于见面了
Heh-hey! Hey, look at this!
嘿 瞧瞧这是谁！
Modern technology, sir.
多亏了现代科技
What... what exactly does a consul do? It's a...
领事到底是干什么的 是不是...
Let's just say if you wanted to come to Iran one day and visit,
这么说吧 如果你想来伊朗
you would be going through myself.
就得跟我打交道
I'm not setting foot in that place, with all due respect.
我绝对不会去伊朗的 恕我直言
Not gonna set foot there.
绝对不会
Excuse me.
不好意思
What is that? A cookie.
那是什么？ 曲奇饼
What are you using, tongs?
你用的是什么？夹子？
Yes. We use tongs.
是的 我们也用夹子
In fact, we invented the tong. Okay.
事实上 这种夹子是我们发明的 好吧
All right, Mr. Consul,
快别说了 领事先生
let's, uh... let's not go crazy here.
别太夸张了
You invented the tong. I don't think so.
你们发明了夹子 我不信
I don't see Iran as the tong inventor.
伊朗才不是点心夹子的发源地
Mr. David, I have a very busy agenda today.
大卫先生 我今天日程很满
Please let me know how I can help you.
如果有什么可以帮您的就直说吧
Well, um, you're aware of my situation, of course,
你知道我的情况的
and I was hoping beyond hope
我就是真心希望
that somehow you could perhaps
怎么样可以让您
put in a good word for me,
帮我说几句好话
tell the ayatollah how profoundly sorry I am
告诉阿亚图拉我对我的所作所为
for what I did and said and...
感到十分抱歉
Mr. David, you have come to the right person
大卫先生 你算是找对人了
because... I tell you this in confidence...
因为...这是个秘密...
I am a huge fan of your work.
我是你的大粉丝
I have watched every episode of "Seinfeld."
《宋飞传》我每集都看过
This is... this is really, truly remarkable.
这...这真是太神奇了
Is that so? What's your favorite episode?
真的吗？你最喜欢哪一集？
Isn't everybody's favorite episode the puffy shirt?
难道不是所有人都最爱"绒毛衬衫"那集吗？
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