消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm S09E01
Part 2
Oct. 3, 2020, 1:49 p.m.
It's partially occurred,
有几次小的 不能算来了
but I'm gonna soldier on here at the office
但我打算坚持在岗位上
so that we can get some stuff done.
这样我们才能把工作完成
You're gonna soldier on. Wow.
你打算坚守岗位 哇塞
Aye, lassie. I admire your courage.
啊 女侠 我实在佩服你的勇气
This is one of those fields, like many, that isn't researched enough.
像许多其他领域一样 便秘 真的缺少研究
Perhaps, you... you could champion the cause of constipation.
也许就你...你可以为便秘事业去奋斗
You could... you could raise money.
可以...去筹一下款
You could go on, you could have fundraisers.
可以去办个募捐晚会
You know, you could... you could have groups
你知道 你可以办个互助会
where people who are constipated get together and...
便秘的人可以聚在一起...
and talk about their problems.
讨论他们的困难
I don't...
我不是...
In fact, you know what else you might wanna think about?
事实上 你知道还可以考虑做个啥吗？
Instead of sitting in a chair at your desk,
把桌子下的椅子拆了
put in a toilet seat.
装一个马桶在那儿
You know, have an office bathroom.
懂了没 可以搞个办公室如厕间
Maybe something to consider for the future
也许未来可以考虑一下
if you wanted to look into the plumbing.
如果你想低头就看到抽水马桶的话
Come on. Not a bad idea. Um, anyway.
讲真 不是什么坏点子吧 呃 就那样吧
Well, uh, I did get a voicemail, and Richard Lewis called.
说来 我这儿有条语♥音♥信息 理查德路易斯打电♥话♥了
And, uh, unfortunately, his parakeet died.
不幸的是 他的长尾鹦鹉死了
Aw. Hmm.
啊 这样
Had you ever met him? Yes. Yes, I did.
你见过那只鸟吗？ 见过 见过
What was he like? Birdlike. He was birdlike.
长啥样啊？ 鸟样 就鸟的样子
Yeah. You know what? I'll cheer him up.
好吧 你猜啥 我来安慰一下他
I'll send him a little text. How about that?
给他发条小短♥信♥ 咋样？
Yeah, well, I think for death,
呃 好吧 我觉得要是谁死了
sometimes a text is inadequate.
发条短♥信♥是不够的
Yes, perhaps if it were a person,
的确 如果死的是人的话
I would agree with you.
你说的当然就没错
All right. Done. He's gonna love it.
好了 发了 他肯定会喜欢的
Hey, do me a favour.
嘿 帮我个忙
This pen is out of ink.
这支笔没墨了
I need a refill.
帮我买♥♥些笔芯呗
Okay?
好吧？
There you go.
拿着吧
And you...
那你...
There you go. You got the refill.
拿着吧 旧笔芯给你了
You have the refill.
你知道是哪种笔芯了
You have the refill.
你拿到笔芯了
I worry I'm gonna lose something this small.
这东西太小 我怕给你搞掉了
You take that.
你拿着吧
And I will look that up. Okay.
我自己去查一下就好 好吧
Okay.
行
And think about that toilet.
你再想想马桶那个
The chair toilet. All right.
马桶椅 好吧
You just sit there at your desk.
只用坐在桌子旁边
Pretty good idea.
真是个好点子
Hey.
嘿
Come on. What's up?
行了 咋了？
Turn this down. It's too loud.
把声音关小点 太吵了
What's too fucking loud? I hear it on the street.
哪里吵了 我在街上都听得到
Wait... just wait a fuckin' minute.
等下...你稍微等一下
I'll turn this shit down, okay?
我调小声一点 好吧
Yeah. What are you doing? Ah. You okay?
好 你在干嘛呢 好了 还好吗你？
Yeah. What are you doing? I'm fuckin' lamping. What you doing?
还行 你在干嘛呢所以 我在摸鱼 你在干嘛呢
You're lamping?
摸鱼？
Chillin'. Relaxing.
休闲 放松
Why did you change it from chillin'?
为啥不说休闲？
What was wrong with chillin'?
休闲这词怎么不好了？
Got to get another one? Lamping?
非得再造一个 摸鱼？
Lamping. I can sit around here with some fuckin' boxers on
摸鱼 我可以坐在那儿 穿着四角裤
and a tank top with my feet the fuck up.
一件背心 不♥穿♥鞋子
And chillin' is what? You gotta be in real clothes?
休闲呢？得穿得像模像样？
You can walk around and chill. Oh.
得出门走动才算休闲 哦
You upright. You chillin' upright.
穿得像样 穿得好才是休闲
You guys got some great slang, I gotta say.
你们黑话还真多 真的是
The fuck you got? We got boss.
你们有啥俗话没 大佬
That's a boss shirt.
这件衬衫很大佬
Oh, man. Huh?
我的天 怎么样？
You can keep that boss shit.
大佬你留着自己用吧
Keep that bullshit. Boss isn't...
如果你用大脑的话 大佬这词...
boss isn't happening, is it, huh?
大佬这词你不喜欢 是吧？
Hey, I wouldn't even say that shit by mistake.
嘿 我舌头打卷了也不会说那种词好吧
Get this... my assistant, okay,
听着 我的助理 好吧
doesn't come to work for two days.
她两天没来上班
You know why? You know what she tells me?
你知道为啥吗？你知道她咋给我说的吗？
What? She was constipated.
咋说的？ 她说她便秘了
Who doesn't come to work 'cause they're constipated?
谁会因为便秘不来上班？
Have you ever heard of that?
你有听说过吗？
Fuck, no. Come on, man. Ridiculous.
我♥操♥当然没有了 得了 老兄 好笑的很
Come on, I shot a porno constipated.
我便秘的时候还拍了部黄♥片♥呢
I ran a 5k marathon constipated.
我便秘了还跑过5千米呢
Shit, man, come on.
真的是 老兄 得了吧
I was in a hot dog-eating contest constipated.
我便秘还顺带参加了一个吃热狗比赛
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
等下 等下 等下
You shot a porno?
你拍过黄♥片♥？
Seriously? Yeah. Seriously.
真的？ 是啊 真的
And a hot dog-eating contest constipated.
也真的便秘了还参加吃热狗比赛
And I still fucking won. That's not a fucking excuse.
我还赢了呢 便秘不是理由
You cannot let this bitch use constipation as something to lean on.
你不能让这小贱♥人♥拿便秘当借口
You got to fire that bitch.
你得炒了这小贱♥人♥
Yeah, well, that's easier said than done.
唉 说起来容易做起来难啊
It's, you know... she's got a...
因为...你知道 她...
she's got a limp and a cane.
她瘸了一条腿 杵着拐杖呢
I'd feel sorry for her.
我会同情她的
I can't. I can't do it.
不能炒 我做不到
And by the way, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
顺便一说 瘸腿还只是冰山一角
Okay. What the fuck else could it be?
好吧 还有啥？
I'm not at liberty to... to say.
我不能说
I can't say. What is it?
不能说 啥嘛？
I don't wanna say. I don't wanna talk about it.
我不想说 我不想谈这个
You fucking walk all the way the fuck over here,
你♥他♥妈♥专门跑过来
you disturb me from fucking lamping,
打扰我摸鱼
and you ain't even gonna fucking tell me what the fuck it is?
然后你还不打算告诉我到底是啥？
I... I... I can't say.
我...我...我不能说
Tell me what the fuck going on.
你♥他♥妈♥赶快告诉我
Let's just say her uncle fucked her.
这么说吧 她叔上了她
Recently? No, no. Years ago.
最近？ 不 不 很多年前
Oh, shit, man.
哦天 老兄
You see... you see the dilemma that I have?
你懂了吧 我有多难做
Between the limp and the cane and the uncle...
又是瘸腿 又是拐杖 还有一个叔...
she's unfirable.
她是万万炒不得的
God damn it, man, you can't fucking fire her. I can't fire her, I know.
见了鬼 老兄 你是炒不掉这人了 我炒不掉她 我知道的
And the thing about it is that
而且关键是
she was so highly recommended, too.
她还是被着重推荐的
She used to work for Jimmy Kimmel and he recommended her to me.
她原来给吉米坎摩尔工作 他把她推荐给我的
He said she was great, and she's awful.
他说她很棒 结果她糟透了
Why would he recommend her?
他为什么要推荐她啊？
I know what the fuck happened.
我知道什么情况了
He foisted you, man.
他对你做了强行推荐那一套
Fucking Jimmy Kimmel foisted that bitch on you.
天杀的吉米坎摩尔把那个小贱♥人♥强行推荐给你了
What do you mean?
你什么意思？
He couldn't fire her either,
他也炒不掉她
so he passed her ass onto you.
所以他把她踢给了你
Don't you ever allow yourself to get foisted.
你可不能这么被"强行推荐"
You understand? That fucking limpy-ass girl...
你懂吗？那个小瘸腿傻女孩...
I got foisted.
我被强行推荐了
Now, the only way to resolve this shit,
现在 唯一的解决办法就是
消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm
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