消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm S09E02
Part 4
Oct. 3, 2020, 1:49 p.m.
I always thought it was "mafti."
我一直以为是玛夫提
Anyway, so do you know a mufti?
不管了 你认识穆夫提？
I know other people. Who? Who do you know?
我认识其他的人 谁？你认识谁？
I know the consul of Iran.
我认识伊朗的领事
You know the consul?
你认识领事？
Is that so? Yes.
真的么？ 是的
Look at you! You are really something!
快瞧瞧！ 你真厉害！
Eh. How do you know the consul?
嗯 你怎么认识领事的？
I have my connections.
我有我的关系网
Are you a... are you a plotter?
你是一个...一个策划者吗？
Are you one of the plotters?
你是策划者之一吗？
Do you plot? I've plotted before.
你策划吗？我以前策划过
You've plotted? I've plotted.
你策划过？我策划过
Wow.
哇
ou're on my side, right?
你站在我这边对吗？
Fuck me, you godless fuck!
操♥我♥ 你这个没信仰的 操♥我♥！
You infidel fucking Jew!
你♥他♥妈♥这个没信仰的犹太人！
Try and keep it kosher, could you?
你能不能懂点礼节？
You fatwa fucking bastard!
你这个被法特瓦的混♥蛋♥！
I'm a fatwa fuck. Yes! Talk dirty to me, Larry.
我就是一个被法特瓦混♥蛋♥ 没错！给我说点儿黄的 拉里
Blaspheme to me like you blasphemed to the Nation of Islam!
就像你亵渎伊♥斯♥兰♥联盟一样亵渎我吧！
Donald Trump!
唐纳德特朗普！
Steve Bannon!
史蒂夫班农！
Jared Kushner!
杰里德卡什诺！
Mike Pence!
迈克彭斯！
Kellyanne Conway!
凯莉娅妮康威！
Mitch McConnell! Yeah!
米奇麦康奈尔！没错！
Rudy Giuliani!
鲁迪朱利安尼！
Yeah, yeah!
没错 没错！
Rougher, Larry! Rougher!
用力 拉里！用力！
Sentence me to an orgasm... You're choking me!
判给我一次高♥潮♥吧 你掐死我了！
...like you've been sentenced to death!
...就像你被判死刑一样！
Is this a fatwa!
这就是法特瓦吗！
This is a fatwa! Fa-fa-fa-fatwa!
这就是法特瓦！法-法-法-法特瓦！
Fatwa! Fatwa!
法特瓦！法特瓦！
Hey! Hey!
嘿！嘿！
No fatwa up in here! No fatwa!
这里没有法特瓦！没有！
What? No fatwa!
什么？ 没有法特瓦！
Yeah, Larry, that's Swat, your knew security.
嘿 拉里 那是特警 你懂的 搞安保工作的
You can thank me later for that shit.
你可以晚些再感谢我
Yeah, I'm not even gonna bring up
没错 我都不打算提
the fact you're fucking in your goddamn glasses.
你带着眼镜做♥爱♥这事
Hey, Swat, break her ass in half!
嘿 特警先生 把她的屁♥股♥劈成两半！
Hello, is this... is this Mr. Khashayar?
你好 请问是凯♥旋♥先生吗？
Yes, this is he.
是的 是我
Yeah, this is, um... this is Larry David.
嘿 我是 我是拉里大卫
I'm a friend of Shara Ghorbani.
我是沙拉葛邦妮的朋友
She said that perhaps there might be a way,
她说可能有机会安排我跟您
you know, to set up a, uh... a meeting.
你知道的 跟您会面
It's better if you don't come here under the circumstances...
在这种环境下你最好别来...
Hey, Larry.
嘿 拉里
Shut the fuck up! I'm on the phone.
给他妈我闭嘴！我打电♥话♥呢
Hey, I'm gonna give Swat the guest room. Where the towels at?
嘿 我准备给特警先生安排客房♥ 毛巾在哪呢？
They're down the hall in the linen closet.
毛巾在走廊尽头的壁橱里
Yes, I'm sorry.
不好意思 请说
I have two nincompoops in my house, unfortunately.
刚才我屋里有两个傻子
-Anyway, so, um... - I would suggest a video conference.
不管怎么样 呃... 我觉得还是视频会议吧
Oh. I can arrange for that if you like.
哦 你觉得可以的话 我就安排一下
Oh, you wanna set up a video call?
哦 你想视频呀？
Yeah, the video call would work great.
是的 视频会很方便
Yes, excellent. Yeah.
对 没错 是的
Good. I will have one of my staff members contact you to arrange for it.
很好 我会让安排我的工作人员联♥系♥你
Yeah, I... Hey, Larry!
好的 我... 嘿 拉里！
Wait, I'm sorry. Hold on one more sec.
抱歉 等等 请等一下
What the fuck is wrong with you? Shh, I'm on the phone!
你♥他♥妈♥有毛病啊？嘘 我打电♥话♥呢！
This goddamn towel's hard as fuck, man.
这逼毛巾太他妈硬了 伙计
Shut the fuck up! I'm on the phone!
他妈的给我闭嘴！我打电♥话♥呢！
I'll be there in a second. Shut up!
我马上过去 闭嘴！
These towels too rough, man.
这堆毛巾太粗糙了 伙计
I like a softer towel. Hey, Swat? Swat?
我喜欢软一点的毛巾！嘿 特警先生？特警先生？
Shut up!
闭嘴！
Yeah, I'm sorry.
不好意思 请说
No, it's the nincompoops again.
不 还是那俩傻子
Nincompoops? I'll wait to hear from your office.
傻子？ 我会等您工作人员的电♥话♥的
Larry! As I said, they will be in contact.
拉里！我刚才说过了 他们会联♥系♥你的
Yes, all right, thank you. - Goodbye, Mr. David.
好的 没问题 谢谢您 -再见 大卫先生
What's so important about these fucking towels?
这堆逼毛巾有什么可着急的？
Look, these towels are a little too rough, man.
你看 这些毛巾太糙了 伙计
I like a soft towel, Lar.
我喜欢软毛巾 拉里
He wants something more velvety.
他想要光滑点儿的
Velvet, it doesn't even dry you, velvet.
光滑的 光滑的都擦不干♥你♥
It doesn't... it doesn't get the water off.
光滑的它不吸水
A harder, coarser towel works a lot better for drying.
粗糙的毛巾更吸水
If I don't use something velvety, I'ma get ashy as hell, Lar.
如果我不用光滑的毛巾 我身上会掉皮的
You want me to go shopping for towels?
你想我去买♥♥毛巾吗？
It'd be nice.
那最好了
The man's a guest in your house. He's your fucking security.
这伙计是你的客人 他是来保护你的
He's gonna take care of you. By the way,
他会照顾你的 另外
you need to familiarize yourself with that.
你需要熟悉一下这东西
What? What is this? It's a list.
这 这是啥？这是一个列表
Persimmons. You eat persimmons? Antioxidants.
柿子 你要吃柿子？ 抗氧化剂
No stone fruit?
不吃带核的水果？
I'm telling you, they kill me, Larry.
我可跟你说啊 那会噎死我的 拉里
I'll drop dead right on this fucking carpet.
我吃了的话会立马死在这该死的摊子上
Even the "oals" will fuck me up.
甚至看一眼都不行
Even the what? The "oals" from the fruit will fuck me up.
甚至什么？甚至看一眼那种水果都不行
If this fucking man even sees a fucking stone fruit,
这个哥们如果看到带核的水果
he's gonna eat the shit, so don't bring no stone fruit in the fucking house.
他就会吃 所以别往屋里放这类水果
So now I can't have stone fruit?
所以我也不能吃带核的蔬果了？
Yeah.
没错
Absolutely, we will send that right up.
当然 我们会马上把它送上去的
All right, thank you very much.
好的 非常感谢
Hello. Ah, Mr. Dancer.
你好 哦 丹瑟先生
I'm sorry to report that I left a pair of pajama bottoms
不好意思 我落下了一条睡裤
in my room, which was 1003.
1003 房♥
So, just pajama bottoms? Fantastic pajamas, by the way.
只是一条睡裤吗 顺便说一下 那是条超棒的睡裤
I don't doubt it. I mean, the best feature about them
我也觉得 我的意思是 这条裤子最好的地方在于
is that the flannel's thick, so they obfuscate the penis,
它是法兰绒加厚的 所以鸡鸡不会很明显
so you could walk around with other people in the house
所以你可以在这屋里跟别人闲逛
and you don't see any flopping,
并且看不到裤子有突起
as opposed to the pair that I have now,
跟我现在穿的这条完全不一样
my... my second pair.
我...我第二条
Okay. A little thinner.
好吧 薄一些
You see the clear outline of the penis... very unpleasant.
你看这鸡鸡的轮廓...很烦人
I will check in the back and I will be right with you.
我到后面查一下 马上回来
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
Excuse me.
打扰一下
Hi.
你好
Are you in charge of the... the cookies?
你负责管理饼干区对吧
Um, yeah, I guess so.
呃 是的 没错
So you oversee the whole cookie operation?
所以你监督饼干供应的整个流程？
Uh, I don't bake them, but I...
我不负责烘焙 但是我...
Well, they're not baked, they're bought in a store.
是的 他们不是现烤的 是从商店购进的
But that's neither here nor there.
但是 没什么关系
Let me just ask you about the display here.
我来问问你饼干区的一些情况
Okay. Was this whole idea yours...
好的 这些都是你的主意吗....
the display, the tongs, the whole thing?
饼干的陈列呀 夹子呀 什么的？
Um... 'Cause I have to tell you
呃... 因为我得告诉你
the tong is not a friend of the cookie
夹子跟饼干成不了朋友
by any stretch of the imagination.
不管怎么想
消消气（2000）
Curb Your Enthusiasm
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