消消气（2000）

Curb Your Enthusiasm S09E02

Part 5 Oct. 3, 2020, 1:49 p.m.

Okay, you must be Mr. Dancer.
好吧你一定是丹瑟先生
Yes! Yes. Yes.
对对的对吧
I am. Okay.
是我好吧
What I believe you should be thinking about
我觉得你可以考虑
is separating the cookies
把饼干分散放
so people can use their fingers and not the tongs.
这样大家就可用手拿而不用夹子了
No friend of the cookie.
夹子不是饼干的朋友
May I just demonstrate what I'm talking about?
我可以演示一下我所说的吗？
No, sir, please don't. Just watch how easy this is.
不先生请别演示你就看看用手多方便
It's hotel policy. You see how easy I picked that out?
这是酒店的规定你看用手拿多容易？
It was so simple. Mr. Dancer.
太容易了丹瑟先生
I successfully was able to find your pajama bottoms,
我已经找到了你的睡裤
and I see that you are not using our tongs again.
并且我又抓到你没有用夹子
No, I was just merely demonstrating something...
不是我只是在演示...
I asked him to use the tongs. I know you did, Claudia.
我让他用夹子了我知道了克劳迪娅
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
And by the way, you're not even in charge of the cookies.
另外你根本就不负责饼干区呀
Claudia is. I asked you to please follow our policy,
克劳迪娅才负责这里我跟你说过要遵守酒店规定
and you are no longer a guest here, actually, so I'm just now asking you
您现在已经不是我们的客人了所以我请您
to just respect that. Ah, what?
尊重我们的规定啊这是啥意思？
What?
这是什么意思啊？
Oh, my God!
哦我的天啊！
The tongs dropped on the floor,
这夹子掉在地上了
you put them back on the table?
你又把它放回去了？
I wiped them. She wiped them.
我擦过了她擦过了
That's like eating off the floor!
这就像是在地板上吃饼干啊！
It's the same thing! It's not at all the same.
这是一回事啊！这根本就不一样
It is the same thing! You might as well put the floor on the table!
一样！你不如把地板放桌子好了！
Okay, you know what? This is a disgrace!
好吧你知道吗？这太丢脸了
Okay, you know what is a disgrace,
好吧你知道什么叫丢脸吗
that we're having this conversation again.
我们又在讨论这事
And here is what I'm gonna say to you right now...
我现在要告诉你...
don't ever return to this hotel... I'm serious, or I will call the cops.
别再来我们酒店了...我很认真否则我就报♥警♥了
Like I would wanna return to a hotel that's serving Pepperidge Farm cookies
说得好像我想再来你们这种供应"非凡农庄"饼干
and trying to pass them off as if you have a pastry chef!
还装作有专门的面点师的酒店一样
Fine, and if you do, I will call the police, Mr. Buck Dancer.
好如果你再来我就报♥警♥ 巴克丹瑟先生
Kenny was a perfect kid,
肯尼是个好小伙儿
and look what's happened here!
看看这都是什么事啊
Look what's happened to my jewel,
看看我的宝贝
my nephew, who is an all-star pitcher.
我侄子全明星投手
He's up there now in a cast!
胳膊打上石膏了
Why did you have to fight him for the pickle?
你为啥要和他抢腌黄瓜
Why did I have to fight him? You fought him for the pickles, too!
你为啥要抢你也去抢腌黄瓜了
I didn't fight him; I let it go!
我没跟他抢我撒手了
Oh, you let it go.
哦你撒手了是吧
You tried to open that pickle jar
你跟我一样
just like I did!
也想把罐头打开
Everybody wants to be a pickle jar hero.
人人都想做开罐英雄
You broke his elbow, okay?
你把他胳膊肘弄骨折了好吧
Are you happy?
你高兴不
He's just a different kid.
他是个不同的孩子啊
His personality has changed.
他的性格就这么扭曲了
He's filled with angst.
现在超级焦虑
He's, like, ready to explode.
他像是要爆♥炸♥了
And you wanna know why?
你知道为啥不
The way he relaxes is the way all men relax.
他放松的方式和所有爷们一样
It's called "ejaculation."
叫做打飞机
He can't use the right hand, okay?
他右手废了好伐
This is his ejaculator, okay?
那是他的惯用手好伐
It's done, it's in a cast.
全完了现在打了石膏
Yeah. Mr. Kenny, some lunch!
嗯肯尼先生午饭好了
What the hell is this shit? Fuck!
这什么破玩意淦
You call this lunch? Take your banana and shove it up your ass!
你管这叫午饭吗快把这坨屎塞回你菊花里
Get out! Get the fuck out! Señor, he's crazy!
滚蛋滚出去先生这人疯了
Leave me the fuck alone!
有多远滚多远
I don't even know him anymore.
我都不认识他了
Wow. I'm scared to death of him.
喔我现在怕死他了
He can't masturbate.
他不能手♥淫♥了
He can't make it come out.
现在他撸不出来
He can't go left? No, he can't go to his left.
不能用左手吗不他不能用左手
Can you go to your left? Eh, nobody can.
你能用左手吗呃换谁都不行
No one can. Yeah.
谁都不行没错
It's funny, though, there's other things I can do lefty.
挺有趣的有些事我就能用左手
I can eat lefty, I can brush my teeth lefty.
我能用左手吃饭刷牙
There's a big difference.
这里面区别可大了
You need rotation, you need tempo,
你需要旋转还有节奏
you need feel.
你需要感受
I don't know what's gonna happen
我不知道会发生什么
'cause he can't concentrate anymore.
因为他没法集中精神了
He told me today he doesn't give a shit about the SATs.
他今天跟我说他已经不在乎高考了
He doesn't care about Stanford.
他也不在乎斯坦福
He doesn't care about anything.
他啥都不在乎了
Wow. He's lost his will.
喔他失去了动力
Hey!
诶
I met this woman in the... in the hotel,
我在酒店里认识了一个女人
and I think... I think she could help him.
我觉得她应该能帮上忙
What does she do?
她干什么的
She's a... she's a prostitute.
她是个妓♥女♥
Okay, here's the deal.
好的计划是这样
You're gonna go in there, you're gonna go to the right,
你从这进去然后往右走
near the front desk. Mmhmm.
靠近前台嗯哼
You're gonna try and open this jar of pickles.
到那试着去开这罐腌黄瓜
Okay.
行
It's gonna create a diversion, everybody's gonna come over and try and help,
这会吸引注意力大家都会想过来帮忙
and then I'm gonna sneak in so the guy doesn't see me
然后我就能潜入而不引发注意
and try and find Paula, okay? Right, right, right.
然后去找保拉好吗好好好
This is called the "pickle gambit."
这就叫腌黄瓜大劫案
I like that, man. Hey, it's cool.
这我喜欢挺酷的
What's my name? All right, that's irrelevant.
我叫什么哦这没关系
Okay? What do you mean it's irrelevant?
好吗你为什么说这没关系
Okay, you want a name? I want a fucking name!
好吧你想要化名吗我特么需要个名字
Okay, uh, Chick Gandil, that's your name.
好呃那就叫你小鸡干迪尔
He played first base for the 1919 White Sox,
他1919年在白袜队任一垒
the team that threw the World Series.
那个队拿下了世界赛
Wait a fucking minute. I'm not gonna be on no goddamn White Sox.
等一会我才不要加入什么白袜队
Would you prefer somebody from the Negro leagues?
那你要不要黑人联盟的名字
Yeah, give me a fucking name.
嗯快特么给我名字
Chappie Johnson. That's a black man's name right there.
花和尚约翰逊这才叫黑人名字
That's fucking great. I love it.
太特么好了我喜欢
All right. I can do that shit.
好吧我能搞定
Okay, get in there. I got you.
嗯快进去没问题
Okay, I'm a... I'm a diversion.
好的我去吸引注意力
I got you. I fucking got you, Lar, all right?
没问题我没问题拉儿好吧
My name is Chappie Johnson
我叫花和尚约翰逊
and I can't open this damn pickle jar.
我打不开这罐腌黄瓜
Let me take a crack at that. I can help you with that.
让我帮你看看我能帮忙
I'm gonna have to put you on hold for a second.
您得稍等我一下了
Give it here, Chappie. Give me a shot at it.
拿过来小花让我试试
Guys, I saw from over there.
朋友们我在这看到了
Let me just get a run at it, all right?
先让我试试好吗
I'm small, but you'd be surprised.
我个子小但是力气大
Let me see that, let me see that.
让我看看让我看看
Just try it again.
再试试
Put force into it.
使点劲
I didn't... I got it, I got it.
我不能我来我来
I didn't get a good run at it.
我之前没使力气
Come on!
加油
Larry, it's me.
拉里是我
Oh, my God.
哦我的天
Oh, my God!
哦我的天