消消气（2000）

Curb Your Enthusiasm S09E09

Part 7 Oct. 3, 2020, 1:51 p.m.

Well, got my hat.
好了拿到帽子了
Thanks again for those tickets.
再次感谢你的票
Yeah, that's kind of what I wanna talk to you about.
嗯这就是我要跟你说的
Um, Lin called me up,
呃林给我打电♥话♥了
told me his wife was gonna be sitting next to me.
告诉我他老婆会坐在我旁边
He thinks the tickets are for me, and so I have to go now.
他觉得那票是给我的所以我必须去了
So, I need... sorry to say, I need the tickets back.
所以我需要...抱歉我得把票拿回来
Well, what do you mean? That's... that's like a... that's like a bad horse trade.
好吧你什么意思呢？那...那就像是...像是一次糟糕的讨价还价
What are you talking about? How are you gonna show up and sit there?
你这是说什么呢？你要怎么去呢？
Because if she sees you there,
因为如果她看到了你
I am gonna be in a lot of trouble.
我会有不少麻烦的
All right. Come on.
好吧对吧
All right, I'll get you your tickets. Yeah?
好吧我把票给你真的？
For $2,500.
2500 美元
Take it or leave it.
要不要由你
You're quite a prick, aren't you?
你真是个逼人对吧？
It's the Shucker's way.
这是剥壳工的作风
I don't have that kind of cash on me.
我没那么多现金
It's okay, you take credit cards.
没关系你带信♥用♥卡♥了吧
Yeah.
嗯
Thank you.
谢谢
Jarvis isn't living up
贾维斯根本没有...
to his potential.
发挥出他的潜能
What's on?
看什么呢?
"Chicago Teachers."
《芝加哥教师》
No! Yeah!
不是吧！是啊！
Oh, my God.
哦我的天
Oh, yeah.
嗯啊
It's worse than the other thing we were watching.
比我们之前看的那个还糟
They don't try to curse that much
他们脏话没有之前那个多
on that one, though, so it's okay.
所以说还行吧
Oh, really? Yeah.
哦真的？嗯
Oh, that's good. What do you wanna do?
那很好你想干什么呢？
What do I wanna do? Mmhmm.
我想干什么？嗯哼
You mean right now? Mmhmm.
你说现在？嗯哼
Oh.
哦
I mean, if we could do anything right now,
我是说如果我们现在可以做任何事
what would it be?
要做什么呢？
Sexually.
性方面
Well... Mmhmm?
好吧... 嗯哼？
Uh... What?
呃... 什么？
You know. Tell me.
你知道的跟我说
I just like to get an erection, put it in a vagina.
我想要勃起然后插♥进♥你的阴♥道♥里
That's a... That's it?
那... 就这样？
That's about it, yeah.
就是这样嗯
That's your biggest fantasy?
你只能想这么多？
I would just get on the top
我只想在上面
and thrust until orgasm.
插到高♥潮♥
Hmm. I'm sexually a very simple man.
嗯在性方面我是个单纯的人
Oh.
哦
Hmm.
嗯
But there is something that can change that.
但是有个办法可以改变我
Oh.
喔哦
I got something. I got something... There we go.
我有个...我有个东西这才对嘛
Ooh! Oh! ...that's pretty interesting.
喔哦喔哦！...有意思了
There you go.
给你
This is a relationship nondisclosure agreement?
这是关系保密协议？
Yeah. Is this a joke?
嗯开玩笑吗？
No, no.
不不是
You... this is a nondisclosure agreement
你...这是关系保密协议
that you want me to sign?
你想让我签字？
Yeah, we both... we both have to sign it.
嗯我们...我们俩都得签字
This is terrible! This is... what's wrong with you?
太可怕了！这...你没事儿吧？
It's... it's just a discretion thing. You know, it's a...
这只是...只是为了保证审慎你知道的这...
"Partners prohibited from disclosing the quality of the sexual experience
"伴侣禁止公开性生活的质量
or the degree of satisfaction attained"?
或是得到的满足程度"？
It's fairly boilerplate. There is no boilerplate, Larry.
这完全是范例这是没有范例的拉里
This has never existed before.
前所未有
This is insane. I know, it's brilliant.
太疯狂了我知道太棒了
It's not brilliant. It locks in discretion, it's...
不棒啊这确保双方说话审慎这...
"Partners shall not divulge any details
"伴侣不能泄露任何细节
including the use of toys, lotions, ointments..."
包括使用的玩具乳液和药膏"
What are you talking about?
你这是说什么呢？
Fantastic idea. Larry, you are out of your mind.
很棒的想法拉里你疯了
No, uh... This is horrible.
没有哦... 太恐怖了
It'll be great for our sex life.
对我们的性生活有好处
We can... we can go wild. No, it won't.
我们可以...可以玩大的不不会的
This is a great idea. I... I wish I thought of it years ago!
这是个很棒的想法我...我真希望能早几年想出来！
I wish my ex-wife had signed one, I can tell you that!
我跟你说！我希望我前妻能签一份
'Cause I know she's talking, she's blabbing.
因为我知道她说了她泄密了
She's telling Ted Danson everything.
她什么都跟特德丹森说了
What happened in Tahoe...
塔霍湖的事...
she's told him what happened in Tahoe!
她告诉他塔霍湖的事了！
You're presenting me with a legal document.
你给我一份法律文件
It's the least sexy thing anyone has ever done, ever!
没谁能做出这么扫人性致的事没谁了!
It's like a prenup! Bye.
就像婚前协议！拜
You're not thinking this through!
你没有考虑清楚呢！
This is a good... good idea! Bridget! Bridget!
这是个好...好注意！布丽奇特！布丽奇特！
Bridget, if we had this, it'll take the boredom away!
布丽奇特如果我们签了这个就再也不会无聊了！
Sign this and you'll have the wildest sex you ever imagined!
签了你会的有曾想像过的最狂野的性♥爱♥！
No. Just sign it!
不就签了吧！
No. Orgasms galore!
不全程高♥潮♥！
That's what I'm promising you, baby!
我能向你保证宝贝儿！
Orgasms galore! You won't regret it!
全程高♥潮♥！你不会后悔的！
I'm not signing your dumb piece of paper, Larry.
我不会签这个愚蠢的文件拉里
Should've known this was not gonna work out.
该早点儿知道咱们不合适
Eddie never liked you!
艾迪从没喜欢过你！
Oh, the... the kid you pretended has Asperger's?
哦那...那个你假装说他得了阿斯伯格综合征的孩子
It is not pretend. He has Asperger's.
不是假装他是真有阿斯伯格综合征
What's your excuse?
你又有什么借口呢？
You're missing out on Tahoe Larry!
你无法享受塔霍湖的拉里了！
You are about to enter
你即将进入
the courtroom of Judge Judith Sheindlin.
朱迪谢德林法官的审判室
This is "Judge Judy."
这是《法官朱迪》
Larry David is suing Rose Shapiro
拉里大卫要起诉露丝夏皮洛
for trespassing at his home and stealing his ficus plant.
私闯民宅并偷走他的无花果树
Larry David says that Mrs. Shapiro
拉里大卫声称夏皮洛女士
has made him feel unsafe in his own home.
让他感觉在自己的家里很不安全
The defendant is countersuing Mr. David
被告反诉大卫先生...
for sole custody of the plant on grounds of plant abuse.
虐待盆栽植物并要求获得盆栽的单独监护权
All rise.
全体起立
Oh, my God.
哦我的天呐
Your Honor, it's case number 249 on the calendar in the matter of David vs. Shapiro.
法官大人现在是第 249 号♥案件大卫起诉夏皮洛
Thank you. You're welcome, Judge.
谢谢不客气法官大人
Parties have been sworn in. You may be seated.
当事人双方已宣誓你们可以坐下了
Oh, my fucking God!
哦我的天呐
When was that? Five years ago.
那是什么时候的事？五年前
Subsequently, several weeks ago,
接下来几个星期前
you, without invitation,
你没有被邀请
came into the house. Oh...
来到这个房♥子哦...
That's him!
是他！
That's the guy. That's the guy I was telling you about.
是那个家伙就是我跟你说的那个家伙
This is the guy you had all those sex stories about?
这就是你跟我说的那些性趣闻的主人公？
Yes, that's Larry Long Balls.
是的这就是拉里长蛋蛋
Finally, I shoo her away.
最终我嘘走了她
She comes back another time, uninvited,
她又来了没被邀请
uses her key, steals the plant.
用她的钥匙偷走了盆栽
Miss Shapiro, I see that you have some evidence here.
夏皮洛女士我知道你有一些证据在这儿
This is the way the plant looked
这是我从他家里发现盆栽时
when I found it in his house.
它的样子