我们的生活

This Is Us S04E17

Part 5 June 18, 2020, 4:55 p.m.

下周就是感恩节了
Well... Thanksgiving is next week.
我希望到时候你能回来
I was hoping you'd come home.
-爸 -你离我们太远了
- Dad. - You're just-- y-you're so far away.
感恩节你应该和家人团聚的
You should be with your family for the holiday.
兰德尔
Randall,
那件事已经过去很久了
it's been a long time.
你总有一天要原谅她的儿子
You're gonna have to forgive her at some point, son.
她身体不是很好兰德尔
She's not well, Randall.
身体不是很好什么意思
Not well? What do you mean?
几个月前
A few months ago,
我开始注意到一些迹象主要是小细节
I started to notice things-- just little things.
她经常忘了自己把钥匙或手♥机♥放哪了
She'd forget where she put her keys or her phone.
甚至我们刚看完一部电影
She couldn't remember the name of a movie
她就想不起来电影名字了
that we had just seen...
够了
I'm done.
我不想再做这个了
I don't want to do this anymore.
我们这到底是在做什么呢
I mean, what exactly are we doing here?
这个练习到底有什么意义
What is the point of this exercise?
我需要你意识到就算你父亲活了下来
I need you to acknowledge that even if your father had lived,
你之后生活的每个瞬间
that every moment in your life after that
依然有着千万种可能性
could have gone a million different ways.
-这点我知道 -你并不能掌控
- I'm aware of that. - You're aware that you don't
你生活中每件事的结局这个你也知道吗
control the outcomes of every situation in your life?
知道
Yes.
在你的幻想里你是那个
In your fantasy, you were the one
阻止了你父亲回去救狗的人
who stopped your father from going back in the house.
你怎么就能确定自己一定能拦住他
Why are you so sure you could've stopped him?
爸爸要是你回到了房♥子里我对天发誓
Dad, if you go back in that house, so help me, God,
我一定会冲进大门亲自救你出来
I'll go through that front door and get you myself!
好好待着我马上回来
Just stay there, I'll be right back!
杰克杰克
Jack! Jack!
可是他并非死于火灾
But it wasn't the fire that killed him.
而是心脏病发作
It was his heart.
我本来可以陪他一起去医院的
I could've gone to the hospital with him.
我应该陪他去的
I should've been there.
我出去找下有没有付费电♥话♥ 联♥系♥下凯特
I'm gonna try and go find a pay phone and call Kate,
-看他们找到凯文了没有 -好
- see if they've found Kevin. - Okay.
好
Okay.
丹佛野马队居然赢了...
I can't believe the Broncos won the...
爸你...
Dad? You...
不对劲
Something's wrong.
我身体不大对
Something's not right.
你说他当时是急性心脏病发作对吧
You said he had a widowmaker heart attack, right?
没错
That's right.
那即使你在场
So, even if you were there,
你也未必能救他
you might not have been able to save him.
除非你打算说你当时十七岁
Unless you're gonna tell me that, as a 17-year-old,
就受过紧急心脏复苏的训练了
you were trained in emergency cardiac resuscitation.
我说不好但我总能做些什么
I don't know, damn it, but I could've done something.
这是我的专长我擅长补救
That's what I do. I fix things.
-这事你补救不了 -是可这样的话过去二十年里
- You couldn't fix this. - Yeah, well at least I could've spent
我至少能告诉自己我尽力了
the last 20 years knowing that I tried.
所以
So,
所以你觉得如果你知道
so you think that would've made a difference
自己尽力救过他了
in how you processed his death,
你对他的去世会更容易接受吗
knowing that you tried to save him?
是
Yes!
你为什么这么想
Why do you think that?
因为我对威廉尽力了
Because I tried with William.
当我知道继续治疗对他来说
And when it became clear to me that it was hurting
坏处大于益处时我甘心让他选择放弃
more than it was helping, I was okay letting him choose to stop.
因为我们都尽力了
Because we had tried.
好吧
Okay.
怎么
What?
没怎么我说好吧
Nothing, I said okay.
你觉得两者不一样是吗
No, you don't think it's the same, right?
你觉得不一样因为我从出生起
But you don't think it's the same because I knew my dad
就认识我爸但我认识威廉还不到一年
my whole life and I knew William for less than a year,
所以关系不一样
so the bond was different.
我对他的死显然更容易释怀
Obviously it was easier for me to make peace with his death?
你是这么觉得吗
Is that what you think?
我觉得我失去了两位父亲
I-I think I lost two fathers.
我还觉得如果能按我的方式来
And I think if I'd had it my way,
我一定不会失去他们中的任何一个
obviously I wouldn't have lost either one of them.
所以你第一个问题的回答是没错
So to answer your first question, yes,
我很清楚我只是宇宙巨大的棋盘中
I'm fully aware that I'm just a-a cute little pawn
一颗微不足道的小棋子
on the universe's big giant chess board.
我不需要一个
I don't need an exercise
开着天价还穿便宜鞋的咨♥询♥师让我做练习
from some overpriced therapist in cheap shoes
来证明给我看
to prove it to me.
我这话不合适
That was uncalled for.
对不起
Sorry.
没什么我就是靠这个吃饭的
Oh, please, I live for this stuff.
兰德尔很有趣
It's interesting, Randall,
你把这个过程看作是
how you see this entirely as an exercise
一个关于失去父亲的练习
about losing your father.
父亲们两位父亲
Your fathers. Plural fathers.
我没听懂
I don't follow.
其实这次练习的开始
Actually, this whole exercise began
起因是你和你哥哥
because of a disagreement
对于母亲如何治疗意见相左
that you had with your brother over your mother's care.
仔细想来
If you think about it,
你的生活其实是被你的母亲们决定的不是吗
your life has really been defined by your mothers, hasn't it?
一位母亲生下你就去世了
The mother you lost at birth,
在你的故事中只有寥寥数笔
who is barely a footnote in your story,
另一位母亲骗了你三十六年
and the mother who lied to you for 36 years.
行了听我说
All right, look.
关于我的亲生母亲
William told me everything
威廉把他知道的一切都告诉我了
he knew about my birth mother.
他们的爱情曾有过一时美好
It was a romance that was sweet for a time,
但好景不长还被毒品冲昏了头脑
but it was short-lived and drug-addled.
我已经无法了解她更多
I'll never know much about her,
我很久以前就接受这件事了
I've accepted that long ago.
至于我妈妈丽贝卡
As for my mother Rebecca...
是她骗了我
...yeah, she lied to me.
但我原谅她了
But I forgave her for that.
我们把这事翻篇了我也接受了
And we've moved on. I've accepted that, too.
是吗
Have you?
当然了
Absolutely.
这事已经过去了
It's behind us.
可是...
It's...
可是很奇怪
It's curious, though,
关于你父亲活下来之后你的生活会如何演变
that in both your scenarios of how your life
你刚才所做的两个设想中
would've played out if your father had lived...
你救了他之后发生的第一件事
the first thing that happens after you save him,
第一件事
the first thing,
就是你母亲坦白关于威廉的实情
is your mother tells the truth about William.
你觉得你现在为什么会在我的办公室里
Why do you think you're here in my office right now?
我懂我懂
I know, I know,
因为每个来接受心理咨♥询♥的人
because everybody who comes to therapy
都深藏着关于母亲的心结是吗
has these deep-seated mommy issues, right?
我没说来做咨♥询♥ 我说我的办公室
I didn't say therapy. I said my office.
我的办公室
My office.
你觉得在所有
Do you know how many black men
能随意挑选咨♥询♥师的黑人里有几个会选我
who can choose whatever therapist they want choose me?
这个概率非常低
It's a very low number.
别人都极力推荐你
You were highly recommended.
我和你母亲是同一性别
Your mother and I are the same gender,
我们都是白种人
we're the same race,
我应该和你父亲去世时的她差不多大
I'm probably around the same age she was when your father died.