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how to stress my mom out so much that she had
午餐喝四杯马提尼 然后还推搡引座员
a four-martini lunch and then got us kicked out
害得我们看《夜夜春宵》时被赶出去
of Anything Goes for pushing an usher.
歌♥舞剧
这是真的吗
Wow, that actually happened?
宝贝 我不想要那样的旅行
Babe, I don't, I don't want those trips.
我想要我们的旅行 和我迷路的丈夫的旅行
I want our trip, with my lost husband and all.
你迷路的丈夫浪费了我们多少时间
Yeah, your lost husband that cost us, what?
-两个小时 -没事的
- Two hours? - That's okay.
不 我们没事 我们还是能
No, no, no, we're fine. We can still hit up
去看一些必看景点
everybody's, uh, must-see spots.
但我们得先喂饱他们 因为他们
But we do need to get them fed 'cause they're
都要累瘫了
gonna start melting down.
吃椒盐卷饼吗
Do pretzels?
好 孩子们 计划有变
Yeah. Okay-- Hey, guys, change of plans.
谁想吃椒盐卷饼
Who wants a pretzel?
-我 -好哎
- Me. - Yes.
看 我就说他能解决的
See? I told you he'd fix it.
来五个椒盐卷饼
Gonna get five pretzels.
不许任何人不加芥末
And, hey, don't even think about not having mustard.
我的孩子没有吃椒盐卷饼不加芥末的
No kids of mine are gonna have a pretzels without mustard.
我们要奶酪披萨 意大利香肠披萨
Can we get the, uh, cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza,
布法罗鸡翅和干酪条
buffalo wings, and mozzarella sticks?
大家还有什么想吃的吗
And that should be good for everyone?
妈不喜欢那种东西
Mom-Mom doesn't like that stuff.
我们点个沙拉
Maybe we should go with some salad
-还有其他健康的食物吧 -不 不
- and some other healthy stuff. - No, no.
没事的 兰德尔 我们在度假
I'm fine, Randall. We're on vacation.
好了 够了
Come on. We're good.
谢谢
Thank you.
说说在纽约的生活吧
So, tell us about life in New York.
纽约大学太有意思了
Oh, NYU is so much fun.
我很开心凯文找到了
And I'm so happy that Kevin has found
精进他的技艺的地方
the right place to study his craft.
柯比
Hey, Kirby!
-你们好啊 -我们给你留了位置
- Hey, everyone. - We got a seat for you.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
天 坐到这里让我觉得自己好老
God, this place makes me feel so old.
可不是嘛
Tell me about it.
柯比以前在这里驻演过
Kirby used to play here back in the day.
-他是个很有名的音乐家 -真的吗
- He was a pretty famous musician. - Really?
不 不 不 不
No. No, no, no.
是你儿子过誉了
Your son is being very generous.
我曾是快速马车合唱团翻唱乐队的一员
I, I was in an REO Speedwagon cover band,
我们的追随者不多 但很忠实
and we had a small but loyal following.
想笑就笑吧
So, you can laugh.
我不会的
I would never.
有的时候你无法抗拒这感觉
Sometimes you just can't fight the feeling.
《无法抗拒这感觉》 快速马车合唱团歌♥名
忍♥不住抖个包袱
I had to.
很精彩
That's great.
我妈以前是个歌♥手
You know, my mom used to be a singer.
她真的很厉害
She's really good.
她年轻的时候去过洛杉矶 去...
When she was young, she went to L.A. To make it--
我是说更年轻的时候 她现在依然很年轻
Uh, I mean younger. She's still young.
好的 谢谢
Okay. Thank you.
-还年轻 -好
- Still young. - Okay. Yeah.
不 他说的是真的 我的确去过洛杉矶
No, he's right. I did. I did go out to L.A.
我想成为琼尼·米歇尔
I wanted to be Joni Mitchell.
我懂 我也有点想成为琼尼·米歇尔
I get that. I kind of wanted to be Joni Mitchell, also,
但我觉得你可能机会更大
but I think you probably had more of a, a shot.
你有那种潜质 我能感受到
You got that-that thing, I can tell.
你知道吗 这可能听起来很奇怪
You know what? This is gonna sound really strange,
但我一直想去大都会博物馆
but I have been wanting to go the Met
-我现在就想去 -真的吗
- and I think I'm gonna go right now. - Really?
-现在 -是的
- Right now? - Yeah.
周六关门晚一些 所以...
Uh, they're open late on Saturdays, so, um...
贝丝和我可以一起去
Beth and I could come with.
不不 亲爱的 没事的
No, no, no, no, no. Sweetheart, it's absolutely fine.
你们待着 好好玩
You guys stay and have fun.
我六点十五或者六点半就回来了
I'll be back at 6:15 or 6:30.
我请客
I am paying for dinner.
-柯比 很高兴认识你 -很高兴认识你
- Kirby, it was nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
我准备去和
Well, I'm gonna go say hi to, uh,
麦克和夏洛特打个招呼 今天演得不错
Mike and Charlotte. Great job today.
很高兴认识你们
Nice to meet you guys.
你是想撮合妈和那个家伙吗
Were you trying to set Mom up with that guy?
也许吧
Maybe.
但愿她一个人没事 也许我应该跟着她
I hope she's okay by herself. Maybe I should I go after her.
我的天 兰德尔 她是成年女性
My God, Randall, she's a grown woman.
你想这辈子都一直为妈担心下去吗
You're gonna spend the rest of your life worrying about Mom?
这位是我妈妈
This is my mother.
-我不知道该怎么做 -随你发挥 妈
- I don't know how to do this. - It's your world, Mom.
我和我丈夫常看你的戏
My husband and I watch you all the time...
幸会
It's nice to meet you.
你干什么
Come on.
我们走吧 活动起来好吗
Come on, guys, hey. Let's keep moving, all right?
还有很多景点要去
We've got a lot of stops to make.
还有很多东西要看
Got a lot of stuff to see.
他们到底还要
How many more of these tiny sandwiches
拿多少这种小三明治来
are they gonna bring?
我以为下午茶只喝茶就行了
I, I thought tea time was supposed to just be tea?
别这样 瞧他们多开心啊
Come on. Look at how much fun they're having.
你觉不觉得 凯文在这种高档酒店
Is it me, or is Kevin weirdly comfortable
似乎非常自如
at a fancy hotel?
你们几个 快点吃完好吗
Hey, guys, why don't you finish up, okay?
有点迟了 我想动身去妈妈想看的博物馆了
It's getting late. I want to get over to Mom's museum.
-不 我好累 -我脚疼
- No, I am tired. - But my feet hurt.
我今天学了太多东西了
I've learned too much today already.
杰克 没事的 真的没事
Jack, Jack, it's okay. It's okay, guys. It's fine.
今天很开心对吧 我们不去大都会博物馆了
We had a fun day, right? We can, uh, skip the Met.
看到没 妈妈都不在意
See? Mom doesn't even care.
你知道吗 我在意 好吗
Well, you know what? I care. Okay?
要不你去博物馆
How about, you get to the museum,
我等着这几个小疯子吃完
I'm gonna finish up with these maniacs,
送他们回酒店 然后你到那里跟我们碰面
get 'em back to the hotel, then you just meet us over there.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
确定 百分百确定
Yeah. Hundred percent.
好 那我们酒店见
Okay. I'll see you guys back at the hotel.
你们就待在这里 好吗 我去给妈妈拦辆车
You guys stay here, okay? I'm gonna hail your mom a cab.
出租车 出租车
Taxi? Taxi!
出租... 怎么会...
Tax-- wha...?
你要是走到前面路口
You know, you, uh, you double your chances
车会好打很多
if you walk to the corner.
我发誓我没跟踪你
And I, I swear I'm not stalking you.
我打车打了二十分钟了
I've been trying to get a cab for 20 minutes.
是不是有什么秘诀我不知道
I-- Is there some sort of secret that I don't know?
难道我浑身散发着外来客的气质
Or do I just scream "Tourist," Or...?
没有没有 你没戴腰包也没拿相机
No-no-no. No fanny pack, no camera.
你正常得很 只不过这个地方是死角
No, you're good. It's just... this is a weird dead zone.
是我想多了 还是我儿子刚才
Okay, am I crazy, or was, was my son maybe,
真的是在撮合我们
I don't know, trying to set us up back there?
你没想多
You're not crazy.
他跟我讲了上千次
He, he mentioned that his "Pretty for a mom" Mom
他那位"艳压群妈"的妈妈要来看表演
was coming to the showcase about a thousand times.
这个凯文 天啊
Kevin... God...
如果让你感到不适 我向你道个歉
Well, I'm sorry if I came across uncomfortable.
我觉得凯文应该告诉你了 不过...
I, um, I'm sure Kevin's probably told you, but, uh...
我丈夫才过世一年多一点
my husband died a little over a year ago,
而且刚才我的孩子们都在旁边
and I, um-- my kids were right there,
我不知道我到底会不会有一天
and I, I don't know, does this thing
能对这种事宽下心来
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