生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S07E23

Part 2 Oct. 5, 2019, 9:03 a.m.

Look, sweetie,
这是部垃圾电影
this movie is garbage,
但你应该开心
but you should be happy about that,
因为如果这是部好电影那根本轮不到你来演
'cause if it was a good movie, you wouldn't be in it.
打住打住
Whoa, whoa, hang on.
你没必要羞辱她吧
There's no need to insult her.
你是哪位啊
And who are you?
我是她的男朋友
I'm her boyfriend.
不觉得高攀了吗
Isn't she too hot for you?
有点吧
A little, yeah.
好了男朋友滚出我的片场
Well, boyfriend, get off my set.
不许他是来陪我的
You can't do that. He's with me.
是吗那你也可以滚出我的片场了
You know what? You can get off my set, too.
你被解雇了
You're fired.
什么你不能解雇我我可是主演啊
What? You can't fire me. I'm the star.
我可是"疯妹子" 电影宣传海报上写着呢
I'm the girl that goes bananas. It says so on the poster.
但刚才已经拍完了你露脸的最后一场戏
Yeah, but we just shot the last scene where we see your face.
所以从现在开始谁戴这个谁就是主演
So from now own, the star of the movie is whoever wears this.
如果你要解雇她
Hey, if you're gonna fire her,
那我也不干了
then you have to fire me, too.
靠说炒人就炒人啊
Wow, that fell apart really fast.
谢谢你不看电影陪我回来
Thanks for skipping the movie.
我实在没办法静下心看两个小时的电影
I couldn't sit in that theater for two hours
而不去想艾米丽和那个男人
wondering about Emily and that guy.
真的没关系
Oh, quite all right.
我得了额头黑素瘤恐慌症后
After my forehead melanoma scare,
已经学会了不再为小事斤斤计较
I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.
不好意思
Well, sorry,
我这里没有做印度拉茶的所有原料
I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea.
你不必为我做什么
You don't have to make me anything.
不行你在为艾米丽烦恼
No, I do. You're upset about Emily
而且你是印度人
and you're Indian.
我一定要给你做拉茶
I need to make you chai tea.
我这里其他原料都有就差豆蔻籽
Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds.
你会不会碰巧有随身携带吧
Do you happen to have any on you?
抱歉我落在我的印度头巾里了
Sorry, I left them in my turban.
那我只好给你泡英国早餐茶了
Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea.
反正他们摧毁了你们的文化
They destroyed your culture.
也算跟印度有点关系吧
That's close enough.
其实我很好奇
You know, I'm curious,
你干嘛对艾米丽跟其他男人出去这么不爽
why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man?
如果艾米跟别的男人外出你不会觉得不爽吗
Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
不可能
Can't happen.
我们的恋爱协议无懈可击
We have an ironclad relationship agreement
里面规定了不许她跟我之外的男人
which precludes her from physical contact
发生任何身体上的接触
with anyone other than me.
但你也没跟她上♥床♥啊
But you don't have sex with her, either.
高招吧
Slick, huh?
老实说我和艾米丽约会的时间不算长
To be truthful, Emily and I haven't dated that long,
我们也还没说好只跟对方处对象
and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other.
那你们发生性关系了吗
Have you had intercourse?
没有
No.
坚持你的立场[收好你的"枪"]
Well, stick to your guns.
未来的路将会压力山大
There will be a lot of pressure.
我又饿了
I'm hungry again!
她就像全球最肥的咕咕钟
It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock.
你总是希望有天能拥有孩子
You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday.
但有了孩子就会是这情况啊
This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
才不会呢
No, it's not.
怎么不会整天哇哇叫要吃要拉
Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping,
打嗝还流口水
burping, drooling.
连她哪天能开始走路
We're even waiting for the day
我们都还得慢慢盼着呢
when she can finally walk on her own.
也许你说得对
Maybe you're right.
还有在地上发现任何东西也都直接塞嘴里
Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.
我只是提前告诉你如果日后有孩子
I'm just telling you now, if we do have kids,
别指望老娘一个人干全部的活
don't expect me to do all the work.
我骨子里也是个慈父啊
Hey, I'm a very paternal person.
我一定很会照顾小孩
I'd be excellent at taking care of a baby.
我还饿着呢
I'm still hungry!
来啦你个死老小孩
I'm coming, you big baby!
你们知道比拍一部会在屁♥股♥上
You know, the only thing worse than doing a movie
粘满猴子毛的电影还惨的是什么吗
where they glue monkey hair to your ass
是被一部会在屁♥股♥上
is getting fired from a movie
粘满猴子毛的电影给解雇
where they glue monkey hair to your ass.
算了啦反正是大烂片
Forget it, man, it's crap.
迎接下一个角色就好了
You just move on to the next thing.
你当然能说得这么轻巧啦
Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say.
你是过气红星
You used to be famous.
喂我才刚为你丢了工作呢
Hey. I just lost a job for you.
行对不起你是当红影星
You're right, I'm sorry, you're famous.
佩妮跟红不红无关
Penny, it's not about being famous.
重点是为了艺术
It's about the art.
是为艺术事业献身的热情
It's about the passion we have for our craft.
《鲨卷风》的续集找我去试镜
I have an audition for Sharknado 2!
要是我选上了一定还你啤酒钱
If I book this, I am totally gonna pay you back for this beer.
天啊我到底是在折腾什么啊
God, what am I doing with my life?
怎么你又不想演戏了吗
You having second thoughts about acting?
你也在片场你也看到啦
You were on set, you saw what it was like.
话虽如此但也不是总那么糟糕
Yeah, but it's not always that bad.
是吗
Oh, really?
还记得你以前
What about when you did, uh,
在那个小剧场演《安妮日记》的事吗
Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
什么剧场那是在保龄球场
It was over a bowling alley.
没错可是
Yeah, but...
停车位还挺足的
there was ample parking.
你说完了吗
Are you done?
你的电视广♥告♥也拍得相当赞啊
And you were so good in the TV commercial.
那是支痔疮膏广♥告♥
It was for hemorrhoid cream.
我光看你演就又痒又肿了
And I got itchy and swollen just watching you.
莱纳德你这么说我是真心笑不出来
Leonard, you are really not cheering me up.
别这样
Come on.
身边有我这种身长168的大帅哥
How can you be sad when you're going home
你怎么能不开心嘛
with all five-foot-six of this?
你觉得自己有168 好搞笑
You think you're five-foot-six, that's funny.
我不明白
I don't understand it.
我这么好的人
I'm a nice guy,
工作也不错
I have a great job,
受过高等教育
I'm well-educated,
家境优渥
come from a good family...
为什么女人就不愿意跟我在一起呢
Why don't women want to be with me?
这个问题耐人深思
An interesting question.
那么...
Well...
晚安不送
good night.
别赶我回家
Don't send me home.
我现在不想孤身一人
I can't be alone right now.
你的问题就是这个
That's your problem.
你没办法忍♥受孤独
You can't be alone.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
你至今为止约会过几个女人
How many women have you had dates with?
11个
Eleven.
这些女人当中有几个
How many of those women
你觉得能当你的完美伴侣呢
did you think would become your perfect companion?
11个
Eleven.
等等
Wait.
在动漫展上与我和霍华德搞3p的
Do I count the 200-pound Sailor Moon girl
180斤美猪女战士可以算吗
that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic Con?
可以
Sure.
还是算11个吧
I'll stick with 11.
她比较喜欢霍华德
She liked Howard better.
你看到问题所在了吧