生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S07E02

Part 1 Oct. 5, 2019, 9:01 a.m.

还有一个有趣的天气现象
And here's another interesting weather fact.
还有吗太好了
Another? Great!
急流的改变可以影响
Changes in jet streams can affect the speed
地球自转的速度
at which the Earth rotates on its axis,
所以坏天气能让一天时间变得长一些
so bad weather can actually make the day longer.
那我现在一定是处于是雷电交加处
Well, there must be a hell of a storm somewhere.
随便你笑
Joke if you must,
不过你之后会想念现在的时光的
but you're going to miss these moments.
莱纳德几天后就回来了
With Leonard home in a few days,
这是你最后一次开车送我去食品店
this was your last time driving me to the grocery store.
是呀我一定会"很"想念的
You know, I will miss this.
这样说吧如果我买♥♥的苹果不够脆
I'll tell you what, if my apples are mealy,
我们就再杀去农产品区来次最后的疯狂抢♥购♥
we'll hit the produce section for one last crazy blowout.
好啦这次购物车给你推
Heck, you can even push the cart.
请别把我期盼莱纳德归来
Please don't take my looking forward to Leonard's return
当作是批评你这段时间顶替他的工作表现
as criticism of the job you've been doing in his absence.
我不会的
I won't.
稍后送上的成绩单里会有批评的详细内容
That criticism will come later in your report card.
总之你罚我留堂我不会理
Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention,
我也不会看成绩单
I'm not gonna read the report card.
你好
Hello.
莱纳德
Leonard!
-嘘 -你回来啦
- Shh, shh. - Hi!
-小声点 -我的天
- Keep your voice down. - Oh, my God.
你不是说周日才回来吗
You weren't supposed to be here till Sunday!
实验提前结束了
We finished the experiment early,
我就想着回家给你一个惊喜
so I thought I'd come home and surprise you.
我的天我们为什么要这样小声说话
Oh, my gosh, why are we whispering?
我没有告诉谢尔顿
I didn't tell Sheldon,
这样我们可以过几天二人世界
so we could have a few days alone.
真是太浪漫了
Oh, that is so romantic.
当然这正是我这么做的"理由"
Uh, sure, that's why I did it.
真不敢相信你回来了
Oh... I just cannot believe you're here.
佩妮今天是你的幸运日
Penny, it's your lucky day!
有三个鸡蛋很明显不是特大号♥的
Three of the eggs are clearly not jumbo.
拿上车钥匙
Grab your keys.
斯图尔特请问
Uh, Stuart, I was wondering
-你能不能帮我找点东西 -非常乐意
- if you could help me find something. - Happy to,
除了帮你找希望和活下去的理由
unless it's hope or a reason to live.
你都让我笑了悲伤的小丑
Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown.
总之
Anyhoo...
莱纳德几天后就回来了
Leonard will be back in a couple days
我要为他准备一份欢迎回家的礼物
and I need a welcome-home gift for him.
因为他一直在海上有可能
As he's been at sea, perhaps something
航海主题的比较合适
with a nautical theme might be appropriate.
好吧我不知道你想花多少钱
Okay, well, I don't know how much you want to spend,
但我有个相当酷的潜水侠塑像
but I do have this pretty cool Aquaman statue.
潜水侠
Aquaman?
我不是要送恶作剧礼物斯图尔特
Oh, this isn't a gag gift, Stuart.
没关系
Yeah, just as well.
这是相当珍贵的版本
It's a pretty rare piece.
我宁愿卖♥♥给真正的收藏家
I'd rather just sell it to a real collector.
我就是真正的收藏家
I'm a real collector.
这个有多珍贵
How rare is it?
提起这个是我不好
Oh, I shouldn't even have mentioned it.
来个蝙蝠侠水枪怎么样
How about a Batman squirt gun?
别想糊弄我买♥♥
Don't try and trick me
我根本不想买♥♥的东西
into buying something I don't want.
给我说说潜水侠
Now let's talk Aquaman.
他们在想什么呀将章鱼博士的大脑
What were they thinking, putting Doctor Octopus's mind
放在蜘蛛侠的身体里
in Spider-Man's body?
我还挺喜欢的
Well, I've been quite enjoying that.
这样结合了《蜘蛛侠》的超级英雄乐趣
It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man
与《辣妈辣妹》的身体互换的恶搞
with all the body-switching shenanigans of Freaky Friday.
两个版本都是原创加林赛·罗韩
"Both versions: original and Lohan."
两个版本都是原创加林赛·罗韩
"Both versions: original and Lohan."
你真是个白♥痴♥
You're an idiot.
你这是怎么啦
Hey, what's your problem?
对不起最近我有些暴躁
I'm sorry, I've been kind of snippy lately.
可能因为我在减肥
It's probably this stupid diet I'm on.
你为什么要减肥
Why are you on a diet?
我胖了几磅
I've put on a couple pounds.
都得到成年男装区买♥♥裤子了
Had to buy these pants in the men's section.
我们都见过你的母亲大人
Well, we've all seen your mom.
不是一家胖人
That Butterball turkey
不进一家肥门
was bound to come home to roost.
一千二百块不能再加了
$1,200! That's my final offer!
好吧谢尔顿你赢了
All right, Sheldon, you win.
我相信莱纳德一定会喜欢的
I'm sure Leonard is gonna love this.
对了还要给莱纳德买♥♥礼物呢
Oh, right, a present for Leonard.
给我加上那把水枪吧
You better throw in that squirt gun.
你真要买♥♥吗
Yeah, I don't know.
这把水枪相当的相当的珍贵
This squirt gun, it's, uh, it's pretty rare.
这是我在船上做《泰坦尼克号♥》的招牌动作
And this is me doing the Titanic pose on the boat.
还有
And... oh.
这是我掉下船后被救起来
That's me getting rescued after I fell in.
-披萨来了 -好的
- Oh, that's the pizza. - Yep.
-给你钱 -谢谢
- Here's some money. - Thank you.
我去茅坑
And I'm gonna hit the head.
咱这些被海风吹的老练的水手
That's what us salty sea dogs say
要去尿尿时都这么说
when we have to go pee-pee.
22块5毛
$22.50.
给 25块不用找了
Okay, here's, uh, $25. Keep the change.
不是吧
Seriously?
我刚爬了四层楼梯哦
I just walked up, like, four flights of stairs.
好吧
Okay.
给这里有
Well, here's, um...
大概三毛钱
30-something cents
加上我向你保证不会打电♥话♥给你老板
and a promise I won't call your boss
揭发你一身大♥麻♥的臭味
and tell him you reek of marijuana.
佩妮你点了披萨
Oh, Penny, I see you've ordered pizza.
我买♥♥了中餐回来
I have Chinese food.
真好
That's nice.
你的古龙水味好有大地的气息啊
Oh, that's a rather earthy cologne.
我叔叔以前就喷这种
My uncle used to wear that.
趁莱纳德还没有回来
Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal together
-也许我们可以共进最后一次晚餐 -多谢了
- before Leonard returns. - Yeah, thanks,
但我今晚想一个人吃饭算了吧
but I kind of feel like eating alone tonight, so...
你确定吗
Are you sure?
你有意大利披萨我有中式面条
With your Italian pizza and my Chinese noodles,
我们可以玩马可波罗
we could play Marco Polo.
当然了是吃饭时
I mean, of course, a reenactment of a meal
玩威尼斯探险家马可波罗的角色扮演
in the life of Marco Polo the Venetian explorer,
不是吓死人的马可波罗水上游戏
not Marco Polo the terrifying water sport.
其他人就得喊"波罗" 听音辨位
听起来很有意思不过多谢了
Uh, yeah, it sounds fun, but no thanks.
晚安啦
Have a good night!
你家有客人吗
What, now... do you have company?
没有当然没有
No. No, no, no.
知道吗马桶一直在抽风
You know what? Th-The toilet's been doing that.
我已经打电♥话♥给大厦管♥理♥员♥了
I called the building manager, so...
我可以帮你看看
Oh, I can take a look at it.
我对水管工的工作还挺在行的
I'm quite familiar with plumbing.
不是吹牛哈
Not to brag,
我读五年级时大部分时候头是被摁在马桶里的
but I spent most of fifth grade with my head in a toilet.
不用了
Yeah, no, no, no.
谢尔顿没关系
You know what, Sheldon, it's okay.
你不用去厕所
You don't have to go into the bathroom.
好奇怪
That's curious.
如果家里就你一个人
If there's no one here,
为什么桌上有两杯红酒