生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S07E13
Part 3
Oct. 5, 2019, 9:02 a.m.
I'm used to it.
我这么大只 个性古怪 长相奇怪
I mean, I'm big and weird and funny-looking
从来不会有人想跟我一起玩
and no one ever wants to do anything with me.
别那样说
Don't say that.
没关系
It's okay.
我知道我就是一怪物
I know I'm a monster.
不 伯特 别走
No, Bert, come on.
我很乐意陪你去看矿物展
I'd love to go to the mineral show with you.
太棒了
Sweet.
那就算约会啦
It's a date.
才不算呢
No, it's not.
为时已晚啦
Too late!
自从那辆韩国教堂大巴
Yeah. Haven't seen this many people in my store
从我店前门玻璃撞进来后
since that Korean church bus
我店再也没有见过那么多人
crashed through my front window.
斯图尔特
Hey! Stuart!
杰西
Jesse.
好久不见
Haven't seen you in forever.
你看你都灰成这样了
Look how gray you've gotten.
我的头发一直都是这个颜色
My hair's exactly the same color as always.
不 我是在说你的肤色
No, I was talking about your skin.
我的朋友要找一本漫画书
Look, uh, my friend here needs a comic book...
她应该是无意走进你的店吧
And she went into your store by mistake.
幸好他家店没人 不会有人知道你走错地方
Good thing there was no one there to see you.
你要找什么
What do you need?
这本啊 我这里有
Oh, yeah, yeah. I got this.
就在这边
Right over here.
运动裤肥仔 连你也抛弃我
Even you, Sweatpants?
这里有免费爆米花呢
Free popcorn.
要不要来一杯咖啡
Can I offer you a coffee?
是浓缩咖啡还是拿铁呢
Espresso? Latte?
不用了 谢谢
No, thanks.
你呢 斯图 摩卡还是司康饼
How about you, Stu? Mocha? Scone?
还是要这附近施舍处的地址啊
Directions to the nearest soup kitchen?
他知道施舍处在哪
He knows where the soup kitchen is.
在默顿大道上
It's on Merton Avenue.
我不喜欢你这样对待我的朋友
I don't think I like the way you're treating my friend.
抱歉
Sorry.
你还想不想要这本书了
You want the book or not?
想要也不买♥♥你的
Not from you.
我们走 斯图尔特
Let's go, Stuart.
你知道吗 杰西
You know something, Jesse?
虽说你生意兴隆
You may have a successful business
均衡营养
a-and the kind of pink complexion
养得一脸粉♥嫩♥
that comes with good nutrition...
但我拥有更重要的东西
...but I have something more important.
是什么
What's that?
友谊
Friendship.
但我会毫不犹豫放弃友谊来换取这一切
Which I would trade in a heartbeat for all of this.
矿物岩石展览
The mineral and rock show?
即使不跟伯特去 听着都很没劲
That would be awful even without Bert.
那我现在应该怎么办
So what am I supposed to do now?
让你的子♥宫♥为他的巨人婴儿做好准备
Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring?
不许拿这事开玩笑
This isn't funny.
我必须跟他说实话
I'm gonna have to tell him the truth:
就算我没有男友
that even if I didn't have a boyfriend,
也不会喜欢他
I wouldn't be interested in him.
这话我听过太多遍了
I've heard those words so many times.
琳达·诺森恰克 谭米·罗森沃塞尔
From Linda Nosenchuck, Tammy Rosenworcel...
帕德玛·卡普尔 内哈·恰德瑞
Padma Kapur, Neha Chowdury...
马茜·格罗斯曼 莉萨·马扎里诺
...Marci Grossman, Lisa Mazzarino...
-梅根·平卡斯 -谭米·周
- ...Megan Pincus... - ...Tammy Cho...
我们常去那家星巴克的女生叫什么来着
Oh, who was that girl from our Starbucks?
-艾琳·罗素 -没错 艾琳
- Arlene Russel! - Yes! Arlene!
她在我俩的卡布奇诺杯上 都写上了"不可能"
She wrote "no way" on both our cappuccinos.
可怜的伯特
Poor Bert.
有一个悲催的下午在等着他
That guy's got a rough afternoon ahead of him.
你们希望一个女生
Well, how would you want a girl
如何拒绝你们
to tell you she wasn't interested?
我希望她和我好好坐着
I guess, uh, I'd like her to sit me down,
看着我的眼睛说
look me in the eye and say,
"我错了 我爱你"
"I was wrong. I love you."
或许再用上特别的方式爱抚我
And then maybe she could touch me in a special way.
没错 拒绝男生就要这样
That's how you reject a guy.
我没时间听你俩瞎掰
Okay, I don't have time for this.
我要直接去找他 残忍♥地说出真♥相♥算了
I'm just gonna go find him and be brutally honest.
-别这样 -他会很伤心的
- No, don't. - He'll be so upset.
他很可能会爬上帝国大厦
He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building
像电影里的金刚一样乱拍飞机泄愤
and start swatting at planes.
要我们帮你说吗
You want us to talk to him?
可以吗
Really?
-你们愿意代劳吗 -当然
- You would do that? - Sure.
我们都曾有过这样的经历
We've both been in his shoes.
我们会让他失望的同时 感觉到同情与尊重
We'll let him down with compassion and respect.
谢谢
Thank you.
我们走
Let's go.
跟他说她是拉拉吗
So we tell him she's a lesbian, right?
当然是说她是拉拉啦
Of course we tell him she's a lesbian.
保持三
And hold three...
二 一
two... one.
非常好
Very good.
现在试试战士二式
Now let's try Warrior II.
保持
And hold.
有报道指出有些伟大的瑜伽修行者
I've read that there are great yogis
可以随心所欲掌控自己的身体
who have such mastery over their bodies
他们能通过生殖器汲水
they can draw water in through their genitals.
我们今天还不会练到这一层次
Yeah, well, I don't think we're gonna get to do that today.
太遗憾了
Too bad.
感觉用这种办法喝奶昔不错
It seems like a good way to drink a milk shake
至少大脑不会冰到痛
without getting brain freeze.
现在是反转战士式
And now we go to Reverse Warrior.
她是怎么说服你做瑜伽的
How did she get you to do yoga?
说实话 我以为她说的是"尤达"
Well, to be honest, I thought she said "Yoda."
我在帮他放松 因为他和你不同
I'm helping him relax because, unlike you,
他支持我
he supports me.
究竟要我说多少次啊
Oh, how many times do I have to say it?
我支持你
I support you.
谢尔顿 休息下
Sheldon, take a break.
合十致敬
Namaste.
如果你支持我 那通电♥话♥是什么意思
Okay, if you support me, what was with that phone call?
好吧 我不确定你是否该辞职
Fine. I'm not sure you should have quit.
但如果你这么在乎我的想法
But if you care so much what I think,
你为什么不在辞职前问我呢
why didn't you ask me before you did it?
所以现在我做事需要你的批准吗
Oh, so now I need your permission?
你在辞职前会征求我的意见吗
Would you have asked me before you quit your job?
当然会
Yes.
我觉得我们的关系已经到了
I thought we were in the kind of relationship
什么事都一起做决定的阶段
where we make decisions together.
如果我错了 那也许我们应该谈谈
If I'm wrong, then maybe we need to talk about
我们的关系究竟在哪一阶段
the kind of relationship we're actually in.
也许是需要谈谈了
Yeah, well, maybe we do.
你们想谈的话 我也很乐意谈
I'm willing to if you guys are.
给我们一些空间好吗
Can we please have some privacy?
不行
Y... No.
除了你们俩 我也是这段关系的一名成员
I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two,
我觉得是时候大家把话说开了
and I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table.
比如 这段感情的未来在哪里
Yeah. For example, where is this going?
你们到底会不会结婚
Are you two ever getting married?
还有婚后 我们仨要住在哪里
And, if so, where will we all live?
你们有考虑这个问题吗
Have you thought about that?
-没有 -佩妮呢
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