生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S07E08

Part 3 Oct. 5, 2019, 9:02 a.m.

But in my defense, if we could survive that,
世上还有什么能把我俩分开呢
we could survive anything.
既然你真的愿意这么做
Well, if you're sure you want to do this,
反正也只是喝个咖啡而已
it's only coffee...
你就放松心态静观其变吧
just relax and see what happens.
-那我能夸她气色不错吗 -当然
- Well, can I say she looks nice? - Sure.
能说我好想她吗
Can I tell her I miss her?
如果她问起的话也许吧
Maybe, if she asks.
能给她看看我手绘的一幅
Oh, can I show her an oil painting I made
我和她被儿孙们环绕的油画吗
of us surrounded by our children and grandchildren?
这还是留着第二次见面时再说吧
I'd save that for the second date.
也好也好
Good, good.
反正不管我怎么努力
'Cause no matter how hard I try,
都没法把那对双胞胎画得一模一样
I cannot get the twins to look alike.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我在寻找那个傻♥逼♥店主的
Oh, I'm just trying to find the stupid next of kin
傻♥逼♥亲戚好把DVD还给他们
to this stupid video store owner so I can return the DVD
好欣赏谢尔顿看到这事没烦到我时
and see the look on Sheldon's stupid face
他脸上的傻♥逼♥表情
when he sees that I didn't let this get to me.
谢尔顿又不在
Sheldon's not here.
干嘛不把毛衣脱下来
Why don't you take the sweater off?
这牵涉到原则问题
Th-Th-There's a principle at stake!
-什么原则 -我也不知道
- Which is? - Oh, I don't know.
谁管它呀看我这一身
Who cares? Look at me!
我的天
Oh, my God!
这毛衣是用蜜蜂织的吗
Is that sweater made of bees?
快脱下来吧我不会告诉他的
Come on, take it off. I won't tell.
不行如果我脱下来的话谢尔顿就赢了
No, no, honey, if I take it off, Sheldon wins.
亲爱的
Sweetie...
每天夜里你没有把他谋杀在睡梦之中时
every night you don't kill him in his sleep,
他就已经赢了
he wins.
算了...我就快成功了
Nah, I-it's... it's almost done.
我只需要找到他的亲戚
I just, I have to find...the next of kin,
把DVD寄给他们
and send 'em the DVD
然后坐等和我肤色相同的人死掉
and then just wait for someone with my complexion to die
我就可以植皮了
so I can get a skin graft.
笑一个
Smile.
你这是干嘛拍照干嘛
What-what is that? What is that for?
你可以把它发给普林斯顿大学
So you can send it to Princeton
把你白交的学费要回来
and get your money back.
不得不说谢尔顿
I must say, Sheldon,
这DVD的事你处理得
you're handling this DVD business
相当成熟令我刮目相看
with an impressive amount of maturity.
这有什么可感叹的
I don't know why that surprises you.
我本来就是个成熟的人
I'm a grown man.
我的运动夹克
As should be evident by this sport coat
和这朵逼真的胸花也证实了这一点
and very real flower in my lapel.
你是不是实践了某种新的应对机制呀
Is there some kind of new coping mechanism you're employing?
你应该问点更有趣的问题
The more interesting question you should be asking is,
比如"这朵花闻起来是什么香味呢"
"What does this flower smell like?"
我看是"可悲味"吧
I'm gonna go with sad.
所以那DVD背后有什么内♥幕♥吗
So what's the story with you and this DVD?
哪有什么内♥幕♥
There's nothing to tell.
也许是因为我买♥♥了一本书
Maybe I purchased a book entitled,
叫做《别为小事担忧》
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
我听从了里面的睿智建议
and I followed its wise suggestions,
其中一条是
one of which was:
驻足片刻闻花香[别说了快闻花吧]
stop and smell the flowers.
-你不是吧 -求你啦
- Seriously? - Please.
-你好 -来啦
- Hi. - Hello.
见到你我真高兴
Oh, it's so good to see you.
我也是
You, too.
请坐
Please, sit.
我帮你点了卡布奇诺
I, uh, I got you a cappuccino.
我记得这是你最喜欢的
I remembered it was your favorite.
我还点了屑饼蛋糕
I also got crumb cake,
但我想起来这是我最喜欢的我就吃了
but I remembered it was my favorite and I ate it.
总之你还好吗
Anyway, uh, how are you?
挺好的
I'm pretty good.
听我说我想跟你道歉
Listen, I just wanted to apologize
我不该用一封电邮和你分手
for breaking up with you in an e-mail.
我也吃光了屑饼蛋糕
Well, and I ate all the crumb cake.
人都会犯错的嘛
we both made mistakes.
好的
Okay.
你约我出来我真是太高兴了
I'm so happy you asked me here,
希望我们改天还能再聚
and I hope we can hang out again sometime.
不论是朋友关系
You know, as friends,
还是炮♥友♥关系都行
lovemaking partners, whatever.
其实我有对象了
I'm kind of seeing someone.
我想我知道怎么回答
I think I know the answer to this,
但还是要搞清楚你说的不是我对吗
but just to be clear, it's not me, right?
这全是你的错
This is all your fault!
我应该听獴狐猴的话
I should've listened to Mun-Mun
因为我一直在和
because I've been playing with a cobra
叫做佩妮的眼镜蛇玩
and her name is Penny!
你为什么这么残忍♥
Why are you so cruel?
看着我痛苦你很享受吗
Do you enjoy my pain?
芝士蛋糕工厂有个女生我可以帮你介绍
There's a girl at the Cheesecake Factory I can set you up with.
我爱你佩妮
I love you, Penny!
为什么我能将检测宇宙暗物质的
How is it I can conceptualize a methodology
方法概念化
of examining dark matter in the universe
却想不出办法修好整蛊喷水花呢
but can't figure out how to fix a novelty squirt flower?
我想真正的问题在于
I think the real question is,
你为什么要将时间浪费在廉价幼稚的恶作剧上
why do you waste your time with cheap, childish pranks?
可能有深层的原因
There's probably a deep reason.
我很乐意和你一边吃点罐子里的花生糖
Which I'd be happy to discuss with you
一边讨论这个问题
over some peanut brittle in a can.
谢尔顿我已经没办法了
Okay, Sheldon, I am out of options!
录像带店的老板勒西斯·曼鲁奇恩
Video store owner, Nursis Manookian,
根本就没有直系亲属
has no next of kin!
你看起来怒气冲冲的
Well, you seem hot under the collar...
是毛衣闹的吗
or is that the sweater?
不不
Oh, oh, no, no.
是因为我花了一下午时间
I-It's because I spent all afternoon
去举♥行♥他葬礼的亚美尼亚教堂调查
at the Armenian church where his funeral mass was held.
据索拉奇恩神父所说
According to Father Solakian,
没人参加葬礼
no one attended.
幸运的是我跑这趟并不是完全浪费时间
Luckily, my trip wasn't a complete waste.
我点了根蜡烛祈祷你快死
I lit a candle and prayed for your death.
但我不是亚美尼亚人所以可能不管用
But I'm not Armenian, so it probably won't work!
这事结束了对吧
This is over, right?
不一定
Oh, not necessarily.
我建议你去亚美尼亚或是黎巴嫩
I suggest you look for long-lost relatives
找找有没有失联已久的亲戚
either in Armenia or Lebanon.
听好了谢尔顿
Listen to me, Sheldon.
我不会去黎巴嫩
I am not going to Lebanon
还《超级马里奥兄弟》的影碟
to return Super Mario Bros. the movie!
也许很好玩呢
You know, it might be fun.
反正你爱吃鹰嘴豆泥[黎巴嫩特色食品]
You love hummus.
为什么你好像不在意这事呢
Why isn't this bothering you?
你的脑袋里面不痒吗
I-Isn't your brain getting itchy?
这是你的卡借的
This is on your card.
有可能会毁了你的信用记录
This could be ruining your credit score!
为什么这事没让你发疯呢
Why isn't this making you crazy?
莱纳德
Leonard...
我有话跟你说
I have something to tell you,
但我要你保证不许跳脚
but I want you to promise not to flip out.
什么事
What?
七年前
Seven years ago,
我发现DVD过期未还
I found out the DVD was late
已经付了钱了