生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S07E21
Part 3
Oct. 5, 2019, 9:03 a.m.
不 我是说 现在这样感觉很奇怪
Oh, no. I mean, this is weird right now.
是佩妮发的
Ah, it's Penny.
她还在生气吗
Is she still mad?
貌似没生气了
Oh, doesn't seem like it.
她把谢尔顿带去见算命师了
She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her.
算命师
A psychic?
他觉得算命师不光是狗屁不通
He considers them not just mumbo jumbo,
还是最狗屁不通的狗屁不通
but extra-jumbo mumbo jumbo.
佩妮挺会说服人的
Well, Penny can be pretty persuasive.
她让我做了好多平时不会做的事
She's gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do.
那是因为她让你跟她上♥床♥
Because she has sex with you.
这是真的
Yeah, she does.
我可以坦白一件事吗
Can I confess something?
有时候 我有点小嫉妒
Once in a while, I get a little jealous
佩妮和谢尔顿之间关系这么好
of how close Penny and Sheldon are.
真的吗
Really?
我知道他们不是暧昧
I mean, not in a romantic way.
只是 她跟谢尔顿互相颇有默契
It's just, she really has some sort of connection with him.
这个嘛 他们认识已经很久了
Well... Well, they've known each other a long time,
而且佩妮从小和马一起长大
and Penny grew up around horses,
所以她懂得如何靠近又不吓到他
so she knows how to approach him without making him skittish.
你不要误解了 我很高兴他们关系好
Don't get me wrong. I'm glad they're friends.
我只是希望他在我身边也能那么放松
I just wish he'd be that comfortable around me already.
他也是花了很长时间 才能在我身边那么放松
Well, it took him a long time to get comfortable around me, too.
真的吗 你做了什么
Really? What did you do?
上辈子作恶太多吧 我也不清楚
Something terrible in a former life? I don't know.
我得走了
I gotta go.
佩妮把我出♥卖♥♥♥了
Penny ratted me out.
对了 你生日她准备送你手表
FYI, she's getting you a watch for your birthday
钱是从你钱包里拿的
with money she took out of your wallet.
我不是有意这么无礼粗鲁
I don't mean to be rude or discourteous,
但在开始前 我想说
but before we begin, I'd just like to say
绝对没有任何科学证据
there is absolutely no scientific evidence
支持任何形式的灵力
to support clairvoyance of any kind.
就是说
Which means--
再说一遍 我不是故意无礼
and again, no insult intended--
但你是个骗子
but you're a fraud...
你的职业是骗局
...your profession is a swindle,
你的生计取决于
and, uh, your livelihood is dependent
愚蠢人类的轻易受骗程度
on the gullibility of stupid people.
再说一遍 我无意冒犯
Again, no offense.
谢尔顿 问她问题吧
All right, Sheldon, just ask your question.
我刚问了 是什么问题
Okay, I just did. What was it?
我的天
Oh, for God's sake.
他是个物理学家 他想弄清楚
Look, he's a physicist who's trying to figure out
他下一个研究领域是什么
what his next field of study should be.
我得告诉你
For your information,
我问的是下一部《星际迷航》的电影
I was asking her about the next Star Trek movie.
我可以回答 《星际迷航之我会无聊死》
Okay, I can answer that one: I'll be bored.
好了 我们开始吧
All right, why don't we begin?
你的灵魂向导告诉我
Your spirit guides are telling me that
你生活中有一位女性 你俩之间有问题存在
there's a woman in your life you're having problems with.
这也太好猜了吧
That's an easy guess.
我一看就是个烦人精
I'm clearly an annoying person
无论男女都看我不爽
and have problems with both genders.
是的 你明显是
Yes, you clearly are.
但我看到一位特定的女性
But I'm seeing a specific woman
你们俩是恋爱关系
that you're in a romantic relationship with.
说到点子上了
Oh, oh, here we go.
她是深色头发吗
Does she have dark hair?
是的 你的灵魂向导太牛逼了
Yes! Yes! Your spirit guides are on fire!
大多数人类都是深色头发
The majority of people have dark hair.
你也曾经有过
Even you, at one time.
她的工作领域和你类似吗
Does she work in a similar field to you?
错了吧 正相反
Ha! The opposite.
她是神经生物学家 我是理论物理学家
She's a neurobiologist, and I'm a theoretical physicist.
我的灵魂向导可以一边玩蛋去了
My spirit guides can go suck an egg.
你的灵魂向导告诉我
They're telling me that
你在与她亲近方面有问题
you have difficulty being close with her.
是的 太对了
Oh, he does. He so does.
他应该怎么做
What should he do?
他应该全心投入到这段感情中
He should give himself to this relationship.
一旦全心投入
Once he does,
其它的所有追求 都会拨云见日
all his other pursuits will come into focus.
谢尔顿 听到了吗
Sheldon, do you hear that?
艾米是你幸福的关键
I mean, Amy is the key to your happiness.
正是
Exactly.
个人生活和职业上都是
Personally and professionally.
一旦你对她全心投入 一切都会走上正轨
Everything will fall into place once you commit to her.
你知道这算什么吗
You know what this is?
这个词不到万不得已
Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances
我是不会说的
when it's truly deserved.
放你妈♥个♥屁
This is malarkey!
你真是戳到他的痛处了
Wow, you really struck a nerve.
我以前从没听他骂过那个"妈"字
I've never heard him use the "M" word before.
开始了
Here we go:
《千尸屋》
House of a 1,000 Corpses.
告诉你
Now, just so you know,
我做过三年保姆 如果你害怕
I was a nanny for three years, so if you get scared,
我可以帮你换吓尿的纸尿裤
I can totally change your diaper.
我必须跟你说件事
Actually, I have to tell you something.
这类电影我实在是不喜欢
These kind of movies really aren't my thing,
所以昨晚我看了
so, last night, I watched it
为了提前给自己做点心理准备
just to see what I was getting myself into.
好的
Okay.
我得说实话
And I have to be honest--
我觉得这电影让人心里发毛 感觉怪异
I thought it was disturbing and weird,
让我不禁怀疑 怎么会有人喜欢看这种电影呢
and it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it.
我也怀疑
I wonder that, too.
那你为什么看这种电影
Then, why do you watch these things?
我跟你说件事 你别戴有色眼镜看我好吗
Can I tell you something without you judging me?
好的
Sure.
这类电影让我性趣盎然
They kind of turn me on.
马上播放
And play.
你好
Hello.
我没想到今晚你会来
I didn't expect you this evening.
那晚对你说谎
Well, I was just feeling so bad
我好内疚
about lying to you the other night,
我想补偿你
I wanted to make it up to you.
你打算怎么补偿
And how do you propose to do that?
除非你裙子下面有《地心引力》的蓝♥光♥碟
Unless you have Gravity on Blu-ray under that skirt,
不然我实在不知道你在闹哪样
I don't know where you're going with this.
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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