生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S07E18
Part 2
Oct. 5, 2019, 9:02 a.m.
但上面的日期是20年后
But it's dated 20 years from now.
来自未来的收据
From the future?!
真是有趣又创意十足
How fun and imaginative.
所以我们中有一个人从未来回来
So one of us came back from the future
-杀死了斯图尔特 -没错
- to murder Stuart? - Correct.
那只拥有讲故事天赋的羚羊
Does the gazelle with a flair for storytelling
知道他的故事是在抄袭《终结者》吗
know he's just ripping off Terminator?
里面的两集故事《士兵》和《玻璃手的魔鬼》的启发而创作
那个自以为是的家伙知道《终结者》
Does the smart-ass know that Terminator was actually
其实是抄袭哈兰·埃里森为《外星界限》
ripped off from an Outer Limits script called
编写的一集名为"玻璃手的魔鬼"的剧本吗
Demon With a Glass Hand, by Harlan Ellison?
那只羚羊知道哈兰·埃里森后来又说
Oh, does the gazelle know that according to Harlan Ellison,
《终结者》不是抄袭《玻璃手的魔鬼》
it was not ripped off from Demon With a Glass Hand,
而是抄袭他为《外星界限》编写的另外一个剧本
but was ripped off from another Outer Limits script he wrote
名为《士兵》吗
called The Soldier?
我要再来一瓶"线索"
I'm gonna need another clue.
好
Okay...
把花和派给我
give me the flowers and pie.
但如果我们敲门 礼物在你手里
But if we show up and you're holding them,
她会认为这些都是你买♥♥的
she'll think they're only from you.
本来就是我买♥♥的
They are only from me.
你说自己就是最好的礼物
You said the gift of you was enough.
话是这么说 但现在我手里拿着花和派
Yes... but now that I've seen what the gift of me
显得我这份礼更大了
with flowers and pie looks like,
所以你休想拿回去了
there's no going back.
我已经等不及想看她一脸惊喜的样子
Boy, I can't wait to see the look on her face...
我们现在就走
We're leaving right now.
-怎么了 -没事
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
谢尔顿 告诉我发生什么事了
What? Sheldon, tell me what's going on!
我看见我妈跟一个裸男纠缠在一起
I saw my mommy with a naked man
她想再次"当妈妈"
and she was trying to be a mommy again.
你想谈一谈吗
You ready to talk about it?
我还不够醉呢
I'm not nearly drunk enough.
够醉了
Okay.
你知道看见自己妈妈在蹂躏别人
Do you have any idea what it's like to see
是什么感觉吗
your mother ravaging someone?
蹂躏鸡胸肉算吗
Does a brisket count?
抱歉 兄弟 的确难以忍♥受
I'm sorry, buddy, that's rough.
她不是知道我们会来吗
But didn't she know we were coming?
不知道
No.
我想给她一个惊喜
I wanted to surprise her.
经历这种事之后 我该跟她说什么呀
What am I supposed to say to her after something like this?
-她有从窗户看见你吗 -没有
- Well, did she see you in the window? - No.
那就什么都别说
Then don't say anything.
我一定要说
I have to.
如果我们想拥有一段健康的母子关系
How can we ever hope to have a healthy relationship
我就得告诉她我对她有多失望
if I don't tell her how disappointed I am,
而且我这辈子都不会原谅她
and that I'll never forgive her?
那也别用手♥机♥说啊
Well, don't do it on the phone.
不是啦 我只是告诉她我要去找她
No, I'm just going to tell her I'm coming
这样她才赶紧会把那个爽歪歪的人打发走
so she can give that Good Time Charlie the heave-ho.
这是一场艰难的对话
That's some tough talk.
我就不跟你过去了
I may need to cut you off.
你最好跟我过去
Yeah, maybe you better.
我可是喝了一大口酒
I took a pretty big sip.
你妈是个成年人了
Look, she's a grown woman.
你♥爸♥又不在这么久了
And-and your dad's been gone a long time.
或许你真不应该多管闲事
Maybe this is none of your business.
恕难同意
I beg to differ.
我曾经住在那个生殖器里
I used to live in those genitals.
如果有人想搬进我的"旧房♥间"
And if someone wants to move into my old room,
那我至少有投票的权利吧
I should at least get a vote.
各位嫌疑犯
Okay, murder suspects,
莱纳德发现了凶手使用过的时光机
Leonard has found the time machine the killer must've used.
大家都坐进去
You're all inside it,
现在我们要穿越时空啦
and we hurtle through the very fabric of time.
欢迎来到20年后的未来
And welcome to 20 years in the future.
喂 你们刚刚穿越时空
Hey, you guys just time-traveled.
别看起来这么没劲好吗
Stop looking so bored.
我的啤酒还有气泡 我的奶♥子♥没有下垂
Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy.
所以目前为止 未来还不错
So far, the future's great.
我可以去厕所吗
Hey, can I go to the bathroom?
去吧 别看起来太生气勃勃
Fine, just try not to look too alive.
这我可是专家
That's my jam.
我们其中一人回到过去杀死斯图尔特
So one of us went back in time to kill Stuart?
为什么
But why?
或许这个能回答你们的疑问
Perhaps this will help.
这是关于未来的
Here are some facts
你们的一些事情
about yourselves in the future
里面可能包含线索哦
that might contain a clue.
我获得了诺贝尔生理学奖
Hey, I-I won the Nobel Prize in physiology.
然后我用奖金把斯图尔特的漫画店买♥♥下来
Then I used the money to buy Stuart's comic book store,
关了那店 好让谢尔顿多放注意力在我身上
and close it down so Sheldon would pay attention to me.
这主意还不赖
Not the worst idea.
我是一名住在伦敦的著名演员
Hey, I'm a famous actress living in London.
我是斯坦福大学的教授
I'm a professor at Stanford.
看来你们就算远距离也能很相爱
So I guess you two are making it work long distance.
错
Oh, no.
在这次游戏中 因为你们各自职业的有了起色
In this game, as your careers both took off,
所以分道扬镳了
you drifted apart.
有点像未来的我
Kind of like how future me
在成为年老色衰却柔软依旧的麦当娜的
lost touch with you guys after I became boy toy
小男宠后就跟你们断了联♥系♥了
for the wrinkled, but still flexible, Madonna.
你的卡上说什么 伯纳黛特
What does your card say, Bernadette?
等一下
Eh, eh, eh, hang on.
你觉得如果我俩都事业有成的话
Do-do you think we'd really drift apart
就真的会分手吗
if we both became successful?
当然不会
Of course not.
如果我成了大明星 要搬去别的地方
If I became a famous actress and had to move,
你当然跟着我走啦
you would just come with me.
但如果我有机会成为终身教授
But if I get a chance to be a tenured professor,
我就没法随便决定去留了
I might not have that much choice in where I end up.
没错 但如果我成名了
Yeah, but if I become a successful actress,
我们都不用为钱操心了
we wouldn't need the money.
研究科学可不是为了钱
Well, you don't go into science for the money.
只有你这么想吧
Speak for yourself.
上个月 我的公♥司♥同时发现
Last month, my company both invented
和治愈了多动眼综合征
and cured Restless Eye Syndrome.
财源滚滚啊 爱眨眼的呆瓜们
Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps.
所以 如果我的事业要我去别处发展
So, wait, if my career took me somewhere else,
你也许不会跟我走
you might not go?
是他先开始的
He started it.
好了 各位 新的背景设定
Okay, okay, guys-- new back stories.
佩妮和莱纳德 你们小俩口
Uh, Penny and Leonard, you two lovebirds are
已经功成名就 双宿双飞在纽约了
super successful and living in New York.
你是著名演员 你是著名教授
Uh, you're an actress, you're a professor
膝下围绕着三个漂亮宝贝
and you have three beautiful kids.
太好了
Great.
什么 你觉得我会让如此完美的身材
Really? You think I'm putting
生出三个小孩来吗
this body through three kids?
好 我们开始吧
Okay, let's do this.
祝你好运
Good luck.
你...
You...
你不跟我一起来吗
Aren't you gonna come with me?
站在旁边听你和你妈讨论她的性生活吗
While you confront your mother about her sex life?
我宁愿穿着露臀皮裤回去刚才的酒吧
I'd rather go back to that bar in ass-less chaps.
妈妈
Mother?
妈妈
Mother.
妈妈
Mother?
谢利 真高兴你回家了
Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
我看到你光着身子做♥爱♥了
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The Big Bang Theory
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