生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S07E23
Part 1
Oct. 5, 2019, 9:03 a.m.
快到了 你们做得很好
Almost there. You're doing great.
感谢你的支持
Thanks for lifting my spirits.
下次能出力"支持"一下盒子吗
Next time, try lifting the box.
快点搬行吗
我不需要用跑步机
I don't need a treadmill!
医生说你需要运动
The doctor says you need to get exercise!
我平常已经运动够多了
I get plenty of exercise!
摧毁我的生存意志不算运动
Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!
如果她不打算用 我们辛苦搬这个干嘛
If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
她会用的
She'll use it.
我只需在机器前装根鱼干
All I need is to rig it
绑上蜜汁火腿就行
with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham.
好了
All right.
下一步干嘛
Now what?
把它搬进华仔旧房♥间里组装
We set it up in Howie's old room.
你知道怎么组装吗
Do you know how to set it up?
拜托 我可是麻省理工的工程师
Please, I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
区区一台跑步机...
I think I can handle...
妈 小心
Ma, look out!
我就说这玩意会搞死我
I told you this thing would kill me!
她得卧床足足六周以上
So she's gonna be laid up for at least six weeks.
沃洛维茨太太真可怜
Poor Mrs. Wolowitz.
我们该为她做点什么吗
Should we do something for her?
我知道做啥
I know.
咱们去看新出的《蜘蛛侠2》吧
Let's go see the new Spider-Man movie.
谢尔顿 那可是你好友的母亲
Sheldon, we're talking about your friend's mother.
她受伤了
She got hurt.
我还以为那个话题聊够了
I thought that subject had run its course,
所以我换个话题
so I changed it.
这叫眼力见儿 艾米
It's called reading the room, Amy.
大家好啊
Hi.
今天拍片还顺利吗
Hey, how were things on the set?
挺顺利的其实
Uh, pretty good, actually.
所以那电影其实没你想象中那么烂吗
So the movie's not as bad as you thought?
真就那么烂
Oh, no, it is,
但我决定 与其每天抱怨个不停
but I decided, instead of complaining about it,
不如卯足全力去做好它
I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all.
-佩服佩服 -客气客气
- Good for you. - Thanks.
在慢慢转化成杀人恶猿的
There's no reason why I shouldn't be
史上最炫酷的双性恋热场舞者界中
the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming
我没理由当不了业界之王啊
into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen.
那可不好说
I don't know.
《辛德勒名单》里的双性恋热场舞者杀人猿
The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List
很难演赢他啊
is tough to beat.
这笑话好笑
Ah, very good.
因为任何性取向的热场舞者杀人恶猿
Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference
在跟纳粹大屠♥杀♥有关的电影中都会很突兀
would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
谢尔顿 你解释出来 笑点"加倍"啊
It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
我知道
I know.
我把她在客房♥里安顿好了
Okay, she's all settled in the guest room.
我们是不是该买♥♥一台那种
Maybe we should get one of those machines
能帮忙她上楼梯的机械
to help her up the stairs.
你是指叉车吗
You mean a forklift?
-华仔 -对不起
- Howie... - I'm sorry.
小华子真心做不到啊
I just can't deal with this right now.
照顾你亲妈吗 你怎么能说这种话
Taking care of your own mother? How can you say that?
妮妮 她接下来六到八周会不便于行
Bernie, she's gonna be off her feet for six to eight weeks.
你准备好喂食她 帮她洗澡
Are you prepared to feed her, wash her
带她上厕所了吗
and take her to the toilet?
-我愿意这么照顾我妈啊 -你当然会啦
- I would do it for my mother. - Yeah, of course you would--
你是有爱心的人
you're a loving person.
我就是犹太人称为"贱精"的那种人
I'm what my people would call a putz.
我也并不是很期待做那些事
Look, I'm not crazy about the idea,
只是我们还有别的选择吗
but what other choice do we have?
我们可以请个看护啊
We get a nurse.
最好是个来自第三世界国家的看护
Preferably someone from a Third World country
因为他们习惯了受折磨与闻臭味
who's used to suffering and unpleasant smells.
你会请个陌生人
You'd hire a total stranger
来照顾抚养你长大的那个女人吗
to take care of the woman who raised you?
太没人性了吧
That's so cruel.
如果我们多付点钱
Not if we pay them well
再让他们听家乡的音乐就不会太没人性啦
and let them listen to the music of their homeland.
我想要嘘嘘
I need to tinkle!
这活儿最合适有爱心的人干啦
Sounds like a job for a loving person.
在你扛她去厕所的时候
Would you like me to play some Polish music
需要放点波兰音乐吗
while you carry her to the toilet?
你果然是个贱精
You are a putz.
假一赔十哦
As advertised.
谢谢你陪我来
Thanks for coming with me.
谢谢你在所有人拒绝你后 邀请我来
Thanks for inviting me after everyone else said no.
你不拿付3D眼镜吗
Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
我自己带了
I brought my own.
我可不想染上鼻梁疱疹
No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
真有这个病吗
Is that a real thing?
在有人发明鼻部保险套之前
Well, until they invent nose condoms,
我不想以"鼻"犯险
I'm not finding out.
艾米丽
Emily! Hey!
拉杰
Oh, hey, Raj.
这位是我朋友 谢尔顿
Uh, this is my friend, Sheldon.
谢尔顿 她就是艾米丽
Sheldon, this is Emily.
知道了 你就是那位皮肤科医师
Oh, yes, you're the dermatologist.
我昨天去散步没有擦防晒霜
I went for a walk yesterday without sunscreen.
我的额头部位有任何
Do you see anything on my forehead
我该担心的病灶吗
that I should be concerned about?
其实我有点赶时间
Um, you know what? I better go.
我的电影要开始了
My movie's about to start.
你是自己来的吗
Are you here alone?
不算吧
No, not really.
什么叫"不算吧"
What do you mean, "not really"?
-我们进去吧 -好
- Hey, should we get our seats? - Yeah.
很高兴遇到你 我晚点打给你
It was nice seeing you. Um, I'll call you later.
好吧
Yeah, okay.
刚才真尴尬 是吧
That was awkward, right?
尴尬是因为撞见你的妞
Is it because she's dating you
跟别的男人约会吗
but was out with that other fellow?
是的
Yes.
那就好 我还以为是因为看见我的病灶了呢
Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.
开拍
And... action.
不要将我拒之门外
Please don't shut me out.
走开
Go away.
快走开
Just go away.
我发誓 我一定会想办法把你变回来的
I swear, I will find a way to turn you back.
你凭什么
What gave you the right
把我的DNA混进了杀人恶猿的DNA
to mix my DNA with that of a killer gorilla?
我当时一心只想让你活下去
I was trying to save your life.
活着有何用 你看我 现在就是个怪兽
Life? What life? Look at me! I'm a monster!
我的双手沾满鲜血
And now I have blood on my hands, or
或我的双爪 随便啦
paws. I don't know.
你不能放弃 我爱你
You can't give up. I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
但恐怕我更爱杀戮
But I'm afraid I love killing more.
或许有一天我会试图...杀了你
Like, one day, I might actually try and kill you!
停 很好
And... cut. All right.
可以准备下一场戏了
All right, let's set up for the next scene.
导演 能再拍一次吗
Actually, you know what? Can we do one more?
刚才没发挥好
I think I could do it better.
就这样吧
Let's just move on.
-没人会介意 -但我会
- No one cares. - Well, I care.
我觉得既然要拍
I mean, look, if we're gonna do this,
何不好好拍一部让我们引以为傲的电影
why not try and make it something we're actually proud of?
小宝贝
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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