公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S02E19
Part 2
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.
So, I think we have to change it just one more time...
伙计 你必须停下了
Dude, you've got to stop doing that.
人们怎么能粉上一个他们真的不知道
How are people going to become fans if they literally don't know
名字叫什么的乐队呢
the name of the band they're listening to?
这真是很好的一个点
That is a really good point.
我跟Andy相处总是很开心
I always had fun with Andy.
问题是 当你是他的女朋友 你同时也是他的妈妈
The problem is, when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother,
他的佣人还有他的护士
and his maid and his nurse.
他完全是无助的 他就像是个紧身衣里的婴儿
He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket.
哦 "紧身衣里的婴儿" 那是个好的乐队名
Ooh! "Baby in a Straightjacket." That's a good band name.
我该告诉他
I should tell him that.
哈哈 伙计们 真有意思 真正的横幅在哪
Ha-ha, guys. Really funny. Where's the real banner?
我们只有一个小时
We only had an hour.
我也是啊 看我做了啥
So did I. Look what I did.
我们爱你
Jerry
伙计们好
Hey, guys.
Jerry
Jerry!
欢迎回来
Welcome back.
真的 天啊 你们不该这么折腾的
Really. My gosh, you should not have gone to all this trouble.
为了我们的伙伴不算折腾 给你
Oh. It's no trouble for our buddy. Here you go.
听着 今天是Jerry日 我们来做任何你想做的事情
Listen. Today is Jerry Day. We'll do whatever you want to do.
任何事都行
Anything at all.
诚实讲 我只希望一切回到平常
Honestly, what I would like to do is just have everything go back to normal.
我没问题 - 好
That sounds good to me. - Okay.
我相信你要做一个报告
I believe you were going to do a presentation.
是的 先生 我要 我去准备了
Yes, sir, I was. I will go set up.
好的
Okay.
记住了 朋友们 不开玩笑 不乱评价 只有支持
Remember, you guys. No jokes. No comments. Nothing but support.
他需要很多支持啊
He needs a lot of support.
Tom 别
Tom.
说的是男用胸罩
Talking about a bra for a man.
好的 认真的 那是最后一个了
Okay, seriously. That was the last one.
所以 我们知道 春季打猎期马上就要开始
So, as we know, Spring Hunting Season is upon us.
呃 总之 这是新的许可证系统的信息
Uh, anyway, here's the info about the new licensing system.
呃...
Um...
Jerry 我觉...我觉得你电脑没连上
Jerry? I don't... I don't think your computer is plugged in.
抱歉 各位 得插上电
I'm sorry, guys. Just got to power up.
首先要展示的是我打猎期的图表 什么
First thing we should have is my graph about the season. What?
等等 不 这不是图表
Wait a minute. No. That is not the graph.
这是我去Muncie度假的照片
That's a picture from my vacation to Muncie.
你度假就选在印第安纳州的Muncie吗
You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
是啊 我老婆和我有个分时酒店
Yeah. My wife and I have a time-share.
在Muncie吗
In Muncie?
Tom Muncie是个可爱的城市
Tom, Muncie is a lovely city.
继续 打猎和钓鱼季的人流在减少 好吧
Anyway, Hunting and Fishing Season is winding down. Okay?
我们都知道村鱼的渔期已经结束了 所以...
And we all know that it's already closed season on "twout." So, now...
我说的是"村鱼"不是"鳟鱼"
I said "twout" instead of "trout."
每个人都会这样的
It happens to everyone.
今天的利索很不嘴巴
My marbles are full of mouth today.
你知道吗 我眼镜找不到了 有谁看到吗
You know what? Has anybody seen my glasses?
我不觉得我能...
I don't even think I can...
这里写着"1点开会" 我们要跟谁会啊
It says here "1:00 meeting." And who are we meeting with?
不用担心 - 哦 不 拜托 别
Don't worry about it. - Oh, no. Please, no.
Tom 和公园管♥理♥员♥见面很重要
Tom, it's important to meet with the Park Rangers.
他们是第一道防线
They are the first line of defense.
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope!
嘿 Carl - 怎么着啊 坐办公室的
Hey, Carl. - What's up, pencil pushers?
Haverford 高兴见到你
Haverford. Good to see you, man.
这里很热吧 我觉得很热 你们觉得热吗
Is it hot in here? I feel hot. Are you guys hot?
你们还好吗 我很好 你们有零食吗
How you guys doing? I'm good. You guys got any snacks?
Carl是户外安全人员的头儿
Carl is the head of all outdoor security.
为什么他从办公室转出去了呢 你问
Why was he transferred from his indoor desk job, you ask.
听
Listen.
嘿 Leslie 你看过《阿凡达》吗 我没看过《阿凡达》
Hey, Leslie. Have you seen Avatar? I never saw Avatar.
我想先读下原作
I wanted to read the book first,
但我意识到《阿凡达》没有书
but then I realized there's no book version of Avatar.
你们圣帕特里克节怎么过的啊
What did you guys do for St. Patty's Day?
我穿了件T恤上面写着"亲我我是爱尔兰人"
I was wearing this t-shirt that said "Kiss me, I'm Irish."
但没人愿意亲我
But no one would kiss me.
所以 只有你们的人受伤了之后我才有重要性
So. You're too important for me until one of your own gets attacked.
我只是觉得我们为了保护公园安全有更多可以做的
I just feel like there's more we can do to keep the parks safe.
哦 你觉得你知道怎么干我的活吗
Oh, you think you know how to do my job?
你要是穿着我7码的鞋走一公里 可能就没那么自信了
Well, you might not be so confident once you've walked a mile in my size sevens.
脚有点小啊
Kind of small feet.
实际上 7码是世界平均值
Actually, seven is the worldwide average.
哈
Boom!
欢迎来到紧急自卫术课程
Welcome to the emergency self-defense class.
我会向你们展示如何脱离一系列情况
I'll be showing you how to escape from a variety of situations,
同时给予袭击者最大伤害
while inflicting maximum damage on your attackers.
Ron 你觉得或许我该给Mark夹个头吗
Ron, do you think that maybe I should put Mark in a headlock?
那样 我可以向所有人展示如何摆脱一个变♥态♥
That way, I can show everyone how to escape a pervert?
在你刚刚形容的场景里 你才是变♥态♥
In the scenario you just laid out, you're the pervert.
你懂的吧
You understand that, right?
做梦吧你 - 够了
You wish. - Enough.
我们从简单的开始 展示一下
I'm going to start off simple, and demonstrate
如何从抓手腕中逃脱
how to extract oneself from a wrist grab.
Andy Ann 上来
Andy. Ann. Step up here.
我看了很多Lifetime台的电影 有一部叫做
I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one,
《多远是足够太远：Teri Palliber Lonergan的故事》
How Far is Too Far Enough: The Teri Palliber Lonergan Story.
这个女人有旷野恐惧症 她的咨♥询♥师却迷恋着她
This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her,
然后他躲在她的房♥子里
and he hid in her house.
然后他袭击了她 还试着吃她的脚指头
And then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes.
此外 她的女儿过早就开始了性生活
Also, her daughter was having sex way too young.
所以 免费的自卫课吗 我来了
So, yeah. Free self-defense class? I'm there.
然后就开始拧
And then just twist away.
非常好 非常好 干得漂亮
Very good. Very good. Well done.
哦 现在如何啊 强盗
Oh! What's up now, mugger?
Ann 这也太棒了 有两下子
Ann, that was awesome. That was really good.
Sweetums零食摊
我不知道 Leslie 我宁愿回办公室
I don't know, Leslie. I'd rather be back at the office.
我知道这对你很痛苦 Jerry 但你需要坚强
I know this is painful for you, Jerry, but you have to be strong.
你们准备好了吗
You guys ready?
哦天 是 好了 准备好了
Oh, boy. Yeah, okay. We're ready.
我会给你们展示一下我们面对的问题
I'm going to show you guys all the problems we've been facing.
我会给你们展示我们已经尽我们所能了
I'm going to show you that we've been doing everything we can.
我期待能一起工作 Carl
Well, I'm looking forward to working together, Carl.
在那之后 我会给你们展示我发现的一块圆木
And after that, I'm going to show you this log I found.
上面有 大概 50只虫子 我叫它"虫木"
It's got, like, fifty worms on it. I call it "worm log."
是啊 我一直都是户外那种人
Yeah, I've always been a bit of an outdoorsman.
我小时候 我父母经常让我呆在后院
When I was a kid, my parents used to make me hang out in the backyard a lot
跑来跑去直到跑累为止
and just run around until I got tired.
但如果外面有罪犯在看着 我永远都不会跑累
But if there's any criminals out there watching, I never get tired.
有美女也是一样
And ladies, too.
这玩意儿也太脏了
This thing is a mess.
实际上 我们本来有三辆车
We used to have three carts, actually.
第一辆被些小孩推到小溪里了
The first one got pushed into the creek by some kids.
第二辆 浣熊占领了 到处都是尿
The second one, raccoons got onto. There was urine everywhere.
第三辆最近被偷了
And the third one was recently stolen.
这是第几辆 - 这是第二辆
What's this one? - This is the second one.
浣熊尿那辆
The raccoon piss one.
好的 我们就准备出发了
All right. So we're going to just head out.
哦不 你知道吗 我觉得我们超载了
Oh, no. You know what? I think we've got too much weight.
哦
Oh.
可能是Tom吧
That's Tom, probably.
有没有搞错
Are you serious?
Tom 拜托你能下车吗
Tom, can you get off, please?
跟着车跑吧 好吗
Just run alongside the cart, okay?
好 出发了
Okay. Here we go.
哇
Whoa!
所以 我想跟你讲一点这个公园的事情
So, I want to tell you a little bit about the park.
前面左手边是我们最美丽的一片草坪
Up here on the left is one of our most beautiful grass fields.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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