公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S02E11
Part 2
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.
I will have the Jamaican Jerk Chicken Veloci-Wrap.
我来一份三角恐龙排骨
I'm gonna get the Tricera-chops, please.
你想要几分熟的呢
How do you want that cooked?
五分吼
Medium roar.
五分熟
Medium rare?
不 五分吼
No, medium roar.
处于法律原因 我们不允许再对
For legal reasons, we're not allowed to make puns
肉类温度玩谐音梗了
about the temperature of the meats anymore.
我要一份海鲜牛龙排
I'll have the surf-and-turf-a-saurus,
然后来几瓶红酒
and a couple of bottles of wine.
我需要很多酒 所以连着上吧
I'm gonna need a lot of wine, so keep it flowing.
我什么都不喝
I'm not gonna be drinking anything.
只想让所有人都知道
Just wanted everybody to know that.
我不太喜欢聚餐
I'm not a big fan of group dinners
因为大家不管点什么都要平分账单
where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get.
我点了一份霸王龙撒沙拉
I ordered a Tyranna-Caesar salad,
我只付这个的钱
and that's all I'm paying for.
嘿 你们开 还有台球诶
Hey, check it out. They got pool.
Mark 要快速来一局吗
Mark, you want to play a quick game?
彻底解决谁打得更好的问题
Finally settle the debate about who's the better pool player?
我从来没跟任何人有这个问题 Andy
I've never had that debate with anyone, Andy.
来吧 我们赌点钱
Come on, we'll put a little money on it.
搞得有意思点
Make it a little more interesting.
Andy 拜托 - 不 我就觉得
Andy, please. - No, I just figured
桌球都是角度问题 他又是个失败的建筑师
because pool is all about angles and he's a failed architect
可能他会想打桌球
that he might want to play pool.
来吧 - 真的吗 这都行
Let's do it. - Really? That worked?
《如何忽悠一个人玩桌球》 作者Andy Dwyer
How to hustle somebody in pool, by Andy Dwyer.
第一步 找到你准备忽悠的那个人
Step one, find the person you want to hustle.
邀请他们玩桌球
Invite them to play pool.
如果他们接受 那就搞定了
Should they accept, you're in.
这是我觉得我们要做的
Here's what I think we should do.
所有人轮流说一件他们爱Tom的事情
Everyone should go around and say one thing that they love about Tom.
由我开始
I'll start.
我真心希望我能有你的身体 - 啥
I really wish I could have your body. - What?
恶心 是紧缚 全♥裸♥ 扔在地下室吗
Ew! Like, tied up, naked, in your basement?
不 不 我是说 你身材很好 想吃什么都可以
No, no. I mean, you're in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.
好吧 还是很怪啊 Jerry
Well, that was weird, Jerry.
Ann 你继续
Ann, you go ahead.
我觉得Tom是个好人
I think Tom is really nice.
还有 你们要是能把信♥用♥卡♥都给我
Also, if you guys want to give me your credit cards,
我把账单分一下 我不介意的
I'll just divide it up myself, I don't mind.
哦天 不用担心了
Oh, my God! Don't worry about it.
餐厅会平均费用的
The restaurant will just divide it evenly.
好好享受吧 April 继续
Just enjoy yourself. April, go ahead.
Tom是办公室里唯一酷的人
Tom is the only cool person in the office.
荒谬 Donna呢
Ridiculous. Donna?
我爱你 Tom 你是我的小王子
I love you, Tom. You're my little prince.
我只想给你套上小披风和小帽子然后带你飞来飞去
I just want to put you in a little cape and a little hat and just fly you around.
谢谢了 Donna 嘿 小弟
Thank you, Donna. Hey, garçon.
我还是很伤心 给我来两份焦糖布丁
I'm still feeling pretty sad. Can I get two crème brûlées
再来一杯灰皮诺吧
and another glass of bronto grigio?
我觉得我看清Tom了 但好像他是在假装难过啊
I thought I had Tom all figured out, but it's almost like he's faking being sad.
为什么他要这么做啊
Why would he do that?
游戏结束 你现在欠我25刀了
And that's game. I think you now owe me $25.
干 某人小时候学过啊 哈
Shoot. Someone had a pool table growing up, huh?
嘿 不 不 我们再来一局吧
Hey, no, no. What do you say we play again?
我们玩点升级的 双倍或者勾销
We'll make it a little more interesting. Go double or nothing?
何不试试呢
Why not?
第二步
Step two.
故意输给对手以增长对方自信心
Lose to your opponent intentionally so they gain confidence.
第二步已轻松完成
Step two has been completed easily.
非常轻松 Mark桌球打得挺好的
Very easily. Mark is pretty good at pool.
所以 你感觉如何 Tom 你觉得还好吗
So, how are you feeling, Tom? Are you feeling okay?
我喜欢假装伤心 我现在知道女孩子们为啥这样了
I like pretending to be sad. I now see why girls do it.
所以 你和Wendy的协议 是完全柏拉图式的吗
So, your arrangement with Wendy, it really was completely platonic?
是啊 甚至都没有亲过
Yeah. Never so much as even kissed,
也就是结婚仪式上为了仪式啄了一下
except for a little peck at the wedding ceremony for appearances.
呃 现在你离婚了
Uh, now that you're getting divorced,
我感觉我跟Wendy可能有点潜在的可能性
I sort of feel like there may be some potential with me and Wendy.
如果这些假事情都结束之后我约她出去 你介意吗
Would it be okay with you if I was to ask her out, once the fake dust settles?
可以啊 当然
Yeah, why not? Sure.
看到她 我觉得她可能是我完美的搂抱体型
Looking at her, I feel like she might be the perfect spooning size for me.
我去放个水
I'm gonna take a leak.
哦 现在就是$6♥4♥00了
Oh! That would be $6,400.
我接受支票和绝大多数信♥用♥卡♥
I accept checks and most major credit cards.
对吼
Yeah!
Mark比我强很多 我想...
Mark is way better than me. I'm gonna...
我想说至少有一点点机会
I'm gonna say that there is at least a chance
我没把这事想清楚
that I didn't think this through completely.
我觉得我打够了 Andy
I think I'm done, Andy.
好吧 不赌钱了
Okay. Forget money.
我们玩点其他的
We'll play for something else.
你已经没有其他东西给我了
You have nothing else to give me.
我有件扑倒Eddie Vedder时穿的T恤 无价之宝
I have a T-shirt I tackled Eddie Vedder in. It's literally priceless.
好吧 要不这样 如果你赢了 你不欠我一分钱
Okay, how about this? If you win, you don't owe me any money,
如果我赢了 你别再骚扰我和Ann
but if I win, you have to stop bugging me and Ann.
你在讲什么
What are you talking about?
别再评论 别再在我俩相处的时候突然出现
No more comments, no more showing up when we're hanging out together.
你离我们远点
You have to leave us alone.
这听起来不算公平啊 Mark
That doesn't seem like a very fair bet, Mark.
所以 如果我赢了 我也能得到Ann
So, if I win, I also get Ann.
好的 行 如果你赢 Ann就是你的
Okay, fine. If you win, then you get Ann.
摆球!
Rack them up!
谁先开打啊
Somebody punch someone!
你怎么样啦 兄弟 想来点牛排 香槟
So, how you doing, buddy? Want some steak? Champagne?
想到啥奢侈的我们都能搞来
Think of something extravagant and we'll get it for you.
你想要啥 奶酪喷泉 红宝石
What do you want? A cheese fountain? A ruby?
鹅心呢
A goose heart?
来个婚姻行不行 不离婚行不行
How about a marriage? How about a non-divorce?
Tom 我很抱歉 可能你们只是需要分开一段时间
Tom, I'm sorry. Maybe you guys just need some time apart,
你知道 回忆起你们互相有多在乎
you know, to remember how much you care about each other.
Leslie 仔细想想吧 我们的婚姻在你看来合理吗
Leslie, think about it. Does our marriage really make sense to you?
她是个又高又漂亮的外科医生
She's a tall, beautiful surgeon.
我是个矮一点 又好看的政♥府♥雇员/俱乐部创办人
I'm a short, beautiful government employee/club promoter.
你是个俱乐部创办人啊
You're a club promoter?
纯想而已
Aspiring.
重点是 我对她来说什么都不是
The point is, I never meant anything to her.
甚至不是真的婚姻
It wasn't even a real marriage.
现在 悲伤从Tom体内喷涌而出了
Now, the sadness is pouring out of Tom,
像被霸王龙攻击之后翼龙体内喷出的一样
like blood from a pterodactyl after it's attacked by a T-Rex.
我得带他去一个他不可能伤心的地方
I have to take him to a place where he can't possibly be sad.
哦 完蛋
Oh, crap.
我们去亮片工厂 - 啥
We are going to the Glitter Factory. - What?
我不行 我不能回去了
Not me. I can't go back there.
但你要是看到茉莉的话 告诉她Anthony可以留着
But if you see Jasmine, tell her she can keep Anthony,
但我的微波炉要还给我
but I want my microwave back.
好的 好 你带April回家
Okay, good. You're gonna take April home.
不 我也想去亮片工厂
No, I want to go to the Glitter Factory.
那就退学然后开始嗑药 我们走
Well, drop out of school and start doing meth. Let's go, everybody.
亮片工厂
Leslie 非常感谢你想要做的一切
Leslie, I appreciate what you're trying to do,
但你一旦进去了 有些东西的记忆就抹不掉了
but once you go in there, you will see things you cannot un-see.
我是个女权主义者 好吧 我永远 永远不会进脱衣舞俱乐部
I'm a feminist, okay? I would never, ever go to a strip club.
我明确表态如果我有一个脱衣舞艺名
I've gone on record that if I had to have a stripper's name,
会叫做"平等"
it would be "Equality."
但我愿意牺牲我努力的一切
But I'm willing to sacrifice all that I've worked for
只为了让你的变♥态♥小脸能绽放笑容
just to put a smile on your perverted little face.
所以别搞黄了 - 好吧
So don't blow this. - All right.
好嘞 大腿舞算我的 我是说 我付钱
Okay! Lap dances are on me. I mean, I'm paying for them.
不在我身上跳 - 明白
They're not gonna actually be on me. - Got it.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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