公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S02E20

Part 3 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.

I just have to get my stuff from the office.
但那...会挺好的
But that's... That'd be cool.
David 是什么召唤你来到公园部门的
David, what was it exactly that called you to the Parks Department?
我在公共工程部干了八年
Well, I was in Public Works for eight years.
但那边的主任挺年轻 Clarence又老又弱
But the director was pretty young. Clarence was old and weak.
所以我做了个人事调动挤进来把他推出去了
So, I put in for a transfer, swooped in and pushed him out.
您要这份工作难道就没有其他原因了
There was no other reason you wanted the job?
没只有钱和养老金
No. Just the money and the pension.
实际工作就是个噩梦
The actual job's a nightmare.
我是说谁在乎这些屎啊
I mean, who gives a crap about this crap.
好了 David 我觉得我们聊够了
Well, David, I think we've talked enough.
Mark 那很棒 Bobby 很棒
Mark, that's great. Bobby, great.
Ann 你看起来太惨了糟糕了太糟糕了
Ann, you look miserable! Terrible. Terrible!
怎么了 Ann 我们在拍啥时尚杂♥志♥还是巧手主妇
Come on, Ann. What are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
我不知道哪个才是侮辱
I'm not sure which one is the insult.
嘿如果有谁想要拍摄
Hey, if there's anyone out there that's doing a photo shoot
关于食用半熟鸡肉危险性的内容
about the dangers of eating undercooked chicken,
我可以把Ann的电♥话♥给你
I can give you Ann's phone number.
好的我们休息一下
Okay, let's stop for a second.
Bobby 爱你的表现 - 耶
Bobby, I love how you work. - Yay!
你想喝多少果汁就喝吧
You can have as many juice boxes as you want.
实际上给我也来一个要苹果
In fact, grab me one, too. Make it an apple.
Mark 干得好你也能来个果汁
Mark, great job, you can have a juice box, too.
Ann 跟我走走
Ann, take a walk with me.
百万年来我都没觉得你会是这场拍摄的问题
In a million years, I never thought you would be the problem with this photo shoot.
你不是两小时前才计划拍摄的吗
Didn't you just plan this, like, two hours ago?
我就是不理解啊
I just don't get it.
长得这么正为啥就不擅长摆造型呢
How could someone so hot be so bad at looking hot?
很抱歉我不是个专业模特
I'm sorry I'm not a professional model.
而尖叫"让你的脸好看点"也帮不上忙
And screaming, "Make your face better!" doesn't help.
我很抱歉但你的脸不管用
Well, I'm sorry, your face just isn't working.
我们需要做点啥来转移这个无聊区域的注意力
And we need to do something to distract from this boring area.
我也不想这么做的但我们必须拍裸照了
Now, I didn't want to have to do this, but we may have to go nude.
再见 Tom
Goodbye, Tom!
好吧我完全理解
Fair enough. I totally understand.
但安全保证还是要拍一张
But we should get one for safety.
好了伙计们马上到了就在那上面
Okay, guys. We're almost there. It's right up here.
你真不应该带领我们
You really shouldn't be leading us.
如果你在经期会吸引熊
If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears.
我的天啊好吧
Holy God. Okay.
我们到了
Here we are.
吃的
Eat.
确实跟我期待的不太一样
Well, it hasn't gone exactly as I've hoped.
但我把他们都拉过来了会有场美妙的野餐
But I got them all here and we're gonna have a beautiful picnic.
会...会好的
It's gonna... It's gonna be good.
嘿
Hey.
我刚刚尿在蝴蝶上了
I just whizzed on a butterfly!
先生们你们知道
Well, gentlemen, as you know,
我在写夏日特辑的欢迎辞
I'm working on my welcome letter for the Summer Catalog.
你把Eagleton的借用过来就行
You should just copy the Eagleton one.
我一直都借用Eagleton的
I used to just copy the Eagleton one.
是吗我希望可能你能跟我
Did you? I was hoping that maybe you could talk to me
说一下你当主任之后部门如何改变的
a little bit about how the department has changed since you ran it.
我觉得你维护公园的工作做得非常好
Well, I think you've done a wonderful job maintaining the parks.
谢谢您 Michael 我很感激
Thank you, Michael. I appreciate that.
您掌舵的感觉很享受吗
Did you enjoy your turn at the helm?
哦还行吧
Oh, in a way.
坐办公室不是我想做的
Pencil pushing wasn't really my thing,
但我喜欢公园本身
but I did love the parks themselves.
那是这份工作最好的部分 - 哦不是么我完全同意
That was the best part of the job. - Oh, isn't it? I totally agree.
感谢您的善良
Well, thank goodness for you.
是的感谢Michael的善良
Yes, thank goodness for Michael.
顺便问下你现在还在假释期吧
Are you still on parole, by the way?
哦哈哈很好笑 Ron
Oh, ha, ha. Very funny, Ron.
是是的 Ron 我还在
Yes. Yes, Ron, I am.
什么 - 他吸大♥麻♥
What? - He smoked pot.
在办公室吸在所有公园吸经常性的
In the office. And in all the parks. Constantly.
公平来讲那是个不同的时代
In fairness to me, it was a different time.
是90年代早期
It was the early '90s.
但还有大♥麻♥不合法真的很离谱
But also, it's ridiculous that marijuana is illegal.
前总统Thomas Jefferson都种过大♥麻♥
Thomas Jefferson grew hemp.
酒是合法的大♥麻♥就不是吗
Alcohol is legal, but pot isn't?
你觉得这行得通吗 Ron
That makes sense to you, Ron?
抱歉我听不见嬉皮士说话
I'm sorry, I can't hear hippies.
所以如果你必须睡一个老家伙要睡谁
So, if you had to sleep with one of the old guys, who would it be?
超级老的那个
The super-old one.
真的啊
Really?
嗯哼我喜欢眉毛
Mmm-hmm. I'm an eyebrow girl.
我要跟他亲热然后把眉毛都咬掉
I wanna make out with him and chew his eyebrows off.
那可真是恶心
That is really gross.
有谁有水吗
Anybody got any water?
我要喝水我太老了我需要喝水
I want water. I'm so old, I need to drink water.
哦停下吧别笑话他了
Oh, stop it, stop taunting him.
我不需要你的帮助囚犯
I don't need your help, jailbird.
如果还有没认领的肉或者奶酪我就认领了
If there's any unclaimed meat or cheese, I would like to claim it.
是哦就像你认领了我的工作吗
Yeah. Like you claimed my job?
是的就是那样我想要那个工作然后我就拿了
Yes. Exactly like that, in that I wanted it, and then I took it.
好的伙计们你知道我希望什么吗
Okay, guys, you know what I would love?
我希望任何人说点任何积极的话
I would love if anybody just said something positive
话题是哦我不知道任何事
about, oh, I don't know, anything.
我同意我们就放松再抽根大♥麻♥ 然后冷静下来
I agree. Let's just relax, smoke another J, and all calm down.
再吗
Another?
顺便说大♥麻♥违法简直可笑
By the way, it's ridiculous that pot is illegal.
它是地里长出来的
It grows in the ground!
我在全市各地的社区花♥园♥种过大♥麻♥
I've planted marijuana in community gardens all over the city,
没伤害过任何人 - 什么
and it hasn't hurt anyone! - What?
你知道吗 Michael 你就是个爱抽大♥麻♥的***妈的屁♥眼♥里的***
You know, Michael? You are one pot-loving **** mother **** pain in the rectum.
好了停下停下你们都成了糟糕可怕的人
Okay, stop it! Stop it! You're all being awful, horrible men!
啊哦你的小朋友来访了吗
Uh-oh. Your little friend come to visit?
Clarence 你要是再提任何关于女人
Clarence, if you mention anything about women,
或者月经或者任何事
or menstruation, or anything,
我就抓住你的脸把它塞到荆棘丛里去
I'm gonna take your face and I'm gonna shove it in those brambles.
棒 - 不下一个就是你
Yes! - No! You're next, buddy.
Andy 来拍照
Andy! Let's take this picture.
来吧都从座位上起来狗屎们
Come on! Get out of your seats, turds.
什么 - 在这排队
What? - Line up over there.
来吧看起来像个人就行
Come on. Just please try to look human.
好吧别太邪恶
All right, and not so evil.
所有人看这里一二三
Everybody looking here. One, two, three.
感谢各位今天带来的美妙记忆
Thank you so much for the wonderful memories.
所有人拿上东西走 - 哦哦哦
Everybody take their stuff and go. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.
我们能拍张鬼脸的吗
Can we do one funny-face one?
你有Andy拍的那张照片吗
Do you have that picture that Andy took?
或许我不放文字说明用上呢
Maybe I'll run it without any text.
是啊我试着PS成他们都很开心的样子
Yeah. I tried to Photoshop it to make it look like they were happy.
真的很难他们的嘴巴都好老
It was really hard. Their mouths are so old.
神啊看看这些可恶的老男人们
God! Look at these horrible men.
你知道我都不知道我想不想放进特辑了
You know, I don't even know if I want them in my catalog.
你想把这些人放进特辑吗
Would you like these men in your catalog?
哦天哪 April 这也太恶心了
Oh, my God, April. That's disgusting.
啥啊你看他们对彼此多大方啊
What? Look how generous they're being with each other.
这些是"障碍"系列
And here's the "Obstruction" series.
你觉得如何很棒对吧
What do you think? Amazing, right?
我把这张叫"未来"
I call this one "The Future."
完全看不清
It's completely blurry.
是的确实是 Ann
Yes, it is, Ann.
我们在秋千上拍的呢正常的那些
What about the ones we took on the swing? The normal ones?
你是说"不开心小老婆"那组吗
You mean the "Unhappy Wife" photos?
哦我的天这些居然更差了
Oh, my God. These are even worse, somehow.
我看起来好悲惨
I look miserable.
你确实看起来很悲惨