公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S02E19

Part 1 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.

好了各位蜂鸟彩票时间到
Okay, everybody. Time for the hummingbird lottery.
好你们都知道规则找张纸写上自己的名字
Okay. You know how it works. Write your name down on a piece of paper.
不他们不是赢得一只蜂鸟
No, they don't win a hummingbird.
我在所有公园里装了蜂鸟喂食器
I installed hummingbird feeders in all the parks,
中奖的人要去给喂食器加水
so the winner gets to refill those feeders.
科学上讲蜂鸟是世界上最可爱的动物
Scientifically, hummingbirds are the world's cutest animals.
我是说它们那么的小它们还有小小的鸟嘴
I mean, they're so small. And they have tiny beaks.
它们还只喝糖水啥能打败他们呢
And they only eat sugar water. I mean, what beats that?
不是吧穿尿不湿的猴宝宝啊确实
Come on. Baby monkeys in diapers? Yeah. They do.
穿尿不湿的猴宝宝是最可爱的
Baby monkeys in diapers are the cutest.
好的会是谁呢
Okay. Who's it going to be?
不是我
Not me.
不是我不是我不是我
Not me. Not me. Not me.
Jerry - 耶
Jerry. -Yeah!
你可以明早上班前顺路去
You can stop by tomorrow morning before work.
这是我连续第三次了
This is my third time in a row.
只是霉运连连而已了兄弟
Just a bad luck streak, buddy.
下次肯定会是我们中的一个
Next time, I'm sure it will definitely be one of us.
但不会是我因为我总是写...
But it won't be me. Because I always write...
是哦
Yeah.
是的
Yep.
不我总是写自己的名字
No, I always write my own name.
但保险起见我多加了20个Jerry
But just to be safe, I do add 20 extra "Jerry" s.
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第2季第19集
第2季第19集
最后为我们开启本周末系列儿童演唱会的
And finally, we are going to kick off the Children's Concert Series this weekend
是Freddy意面的演出
with a performance by Freddy Spaghetti.
我以为Freddy意面嗑药过度了
I thought Freddy Spaghetti OD'd.
不那是趣味面条先生他不是嗑药他的鼓手开枪打了他
No. That's Mr. Funny Noodle. And he didn't OD, his drummer shot him.
哦
Oh.
顺便问问 Jerry在哪呢他怎么还没回来
Where is Jerry, by the way? Why isn't he back?
他补个喂食器要多久啊
How long does it take to fill bird feeders?
可能他掉进厕所了
Maybe he fell into the toilet.
记得他掉进厕所那次吗
Remember when he fell into the toilet?
"哦抱歉同事们抱歉我迟到了"
"Oh, sorry, guys. Sorry I'm late."
"我有点晕然后洗了个澡"
"I got confused and took a shower,"
"结果是穿着衣服洗的因为我是Jerry"
"after I got dressed, because I'm Jerry."
David Meyers 市政厅工作的一个犹太人
David Meyers, the Jewish guy who works at City Hall,
有一次跟我说
once told me something.
一个"笨人"是在盛大宴会上打翻汤碗的人
A "Shlumiel" is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party.
一个"霉人"是被汤泼到的那个人
A "Shlimazel" is the guy he spills it on.
Jerry同时是这个办公室的"笨人"和"霉人"
Jerry is both the "Shlumiel" and the "Shlimazel" of our office.
"然后我把内♥裤♥穿到头上而不是屁♥股♥上了"
"And then I put my underwear on my head instead of my butt."
好了好了伙计们够了
Okay, okay, guys, that's enough.
除非有人还有个棒的例子
Unless somebody has another good one.
哦
Oh.
嗨 Ann
Hi, Ann.
哦不
Oh, no.
Jerry Jerry 你还好吗 Ann Jerry还好吗
Jerry. Jerry, are you okay? Ann, is Jerry okay?
你胳膊怎么了 Ann 告诉我Jerry的胳膊怎么了
What's wrong with your arm? Ann, tell me what's wrong with Jerry's arm.
Jerry 跟我说话 Ann 让Jerry跟我说话
Jerry, talk to me. Ann, get Jerry to talk to me.
没事他没事
Okay. He's okay.
他有点擦伤肩膀脱臼了
He's got a couple of scrapes and a dislocated shoulder.
哦 - 发生什么了
Oh! - What happened?
你们只会笑我的
You guys are just going to laugh.
为啥啊你肩膀脱臼是因为蜜罐卡在手上了吗
Why? Did you throw out your shoulder trying to swing a honey pot off your hand?
我被抢了 - 哦
I was mugged. - Oh.
哦我的天啊哦我太抱歉了 Jerry
Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so sorry, Jerry.
我在去蜂鸟喂食器的路上顺便溜着Sheldon陛下
I was on my way to the hummingbird feeders and I was walking Lord Sheldon.
恶心
Ew!
这是什么诡异的性癖代称吗
Is that code for some kind of weird sex act?
Sheldon陛下是我的狗名字是我老婆起的
Lord Sheldon is my dog. My wife named him.
恶心
Ew!
然后这些小孩他们不知道从哪冒出来
Anyway, these kids, they came out of nowhere,
他们夹住我的胳膊抢了我的钱包
they pinned my arm back, they grabbed my wallet,
然后把我打倒在地
and they knocked me to the ground.
你反击了吗拳击喉咙
How did you counter-attack? Fist to the throat?
你打了他的蛋吗
Did you hit him in the beanbag?
打罪犯的蛋是不需要羞耻的
There's no shame in attacking a criminal's beanbag.
没有我只是团成了一团直到他们离开
No, I just curled up and laid still until they left.
好吧这是另一种处理方式
Well, that's another way to play it.
他们中有谁有奇怪纹身或者疤痕之类的吗
Did any of them have weird tattoos or scars or anything?
只要其中有一个人有特别的伤疤我们就能抓到
If even one of them had a unique scar, we got them.
我没好好看清
I didn't get a good look.
该死 Jerry 抱歉你是受害者对不起对不起
Damn it, Jerry. Sorry. You're the victim. Sorry. Sorry.
我觉得我们应该为此事负责
I feel like we're responsible for this.
为啥又不是我们打劫Jerry
Why? We didn't mug Jerry.
那一开始为什么他要去公园呢
Well, why was he in the park in the first place?
因为我们骗他去的我没觉得有联♥系♥
Because we tricked him into going there. I don't see the connection.
我不知道这是我们的错这是报应
I don't know. This is on us. It's karma.
报应不应该是我们被打劫吗
Wouldn't it be karma if we were the ones that got mugged?
是啊 Jerry就是这么可悲
Yeah. That's how pathetic Jerry is.
连报应都没搞对
He can't even get karma right.
不那不好笑
No, that's not funny.
我们的朋友今天早上被抢劫了
Our friend got mugged this morning.
我们不能让这白白发生
And we will not let that happen in vain.
他可没有黑眼圈
He doesn't have a black eye.
坦白说整个部门都有黑眼圈
Well, frankly, the whole department has a black eye.
这是我们的警钟伙计们
This is our wake-up call, guys.
Jerry的脸是失败的象征
Jerry's face is the symbol of failure.
象征着我们保护公园安全的失败
Our failure to keep the parks safe.
我有几个文件夹里面有些任务
I have some folders. Inside are some assignments.
还有些手工太妃糖
And some homemade taffy.
嗯 - 嗯哼
Mmm. - Mmm-hmm.
April 我想让你去联♥系♥我们的警局联♥系♥人
April, I want you to check in with our police liaison.
Donna 我需要你去趟Ramsett公园 Tom 你跟我一起
Donna, I need you to go to Ramsett Park. Tom, you're with me.
所以你说联♥系♥警局联♥系♥人的时候
So, when you say that you want me to check in with the police liaison,
你的意思是勾引他对吧
you mean hook up with him, right?
不只是联♥系♥他所有人解散
No. Just check in with him. Everybody dismissed.
等等我想帮忙
Wait. I want to help.
帮什么
What?
我来教所有人自卫这样你们就能保护自己
I'm going to teach everybody self-defense, so you can defend yourselves.
我们需要这个因为我们确实太弱小了
We need it. Because we certainly are a bunch of weaklings.
特别是Tom - 我才不弱小
Especially Tom. - I am not a weakling.
现在跟我掰手腕
Arm wrestle me right now.
好啊
Okay.
我觉得我不止能定住
I think I'm more than holding my own here...
三张四张五张...
Three, four, five...
嘿
Hey.
...六张嘿你好吗
...Six. Hey! How you doing?
也不差
Not too bad.
我只是刚刚把Jerry从医院接回来
I was just dropping off Jerry from the hospital.
他在公园里被抢了
He was mugged in the park.
不是吧 Jerry
No. Jerry?
那个戴着兔八哥领带的家伙我爱死他了
The black guy with the Looney Tunes ties? I love him.
不和Leslie一起工作的Jerry
No. Jerry who works with Leslie.
那个Jerry - 是啊
That Jerry? - Yeah.
他被抢了
He got mugged?
哦那也挺惨的啊
Oh. Well, I mean, that's kind of a bummer, too.
嘿既然你在这你觉得这个怎么样
Hey, while I have you here, what do you think of this?
呃...
Uh...
"滚动引号♥"
Scrotation Marks.
我不知道你在说什么但我的直觉是不
I don't know what you're talking about, but my gut says no.
乐队新名字
New band name.
因为"老鼠耗子" 是个好名字
Because "Mouse Rat," it's a great name,
但同时它也很烂
but at the same time, it sucks.
所以我觉得我们必须再改最后一次...