公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S02E23

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.

You don't even know what they're gonna do.
Ron 他们是州级审计
Ron, they're state auditors.
他们不是来给我们拍拍肩膀的
They're not gonna come and pat us on the back.
他们是来杀人放火的
They're here to slash and burn.
我对此没有问题啊
Well I'd be fine with that.
政♥府♥生病了
This government is diseased.
它就像是个又大又胖又生气的懒虫
It's like a big, fat, angry slob
在它不需要的垃圾上花着它没有的钱
spending money it doesn't have on crap it doesn't need.
嗯嗯嗯我想要更多没意义的社会计划好吃好吃好
Mmm, mmm, mmm. Me want more pointless social programs. Yummy, yummy, yum.
那就是政♥府♥做的事 Ron 它提供服务
That's what government does, Ron. It provides services.
他们会消灭我们做的一切我们得和他们斗争
They're gonna try to eliminate everything we do. We gotta fight these guys.
他们是州长送来的
They've been sent by the governor.
头衔比所有人都高
They outrank everyone.
没有任何争可以斗
There's no fight to be had here.
是的你是对的我不会和他们斗争
Yeah, you're right. I'm not gonna fight them.
除了我会 - 好了
Except that I am! - Okay.
Leslie
Leslie.
当我们这么生气的时候要做什么
What do we do when we get this angry?
我们从1000开始每次7个倒数
We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens
同时想着温暖的小蛋糕
and we think of warm brownies.
去你的办公室做这些吧
Go do that in your office.
我要去你的办公室做这些
Go do it in your office.
然后我们等着这群人出现
And we'll wait for these guys to show up.
我要等着你出现
I'll wait for you to show up.
什么都不用带除了你美妙的身体
You don't need to bring anything but your gorgeous body.
然后听着服务费不是$15了
And get this: Cover charge is no more $15,
门口报我名字是$13.50
say my name at the door, it's $13.50.
Andy - 嘿
Andy! - Hey.
你今晚来吗酒吧部分所有者
You coming out tonight, part owner of the club?
来我问你个简单问题
Yes, let me ask you a quick question.
要约会的女孩子年龄最小是多少岁我才不是个混♥蛋♥
What's the youngest a girl can be that if we go out, I'm not a total scumbag?
你知道老规矩年龄的一半加上7
You know the old rule. Half your age plus seven.
我年龄的一半加上7 哦好的
Half my age plus seven. Oh, okay.
我29岁所以29岁的一半
Well, I'm 29, so half of 29.
加上7 那只有...
Add seven. That's only...
20...是...
Twenty is...
21... - 20岁
Twenty-one... - Twenty-years-old.
21 - 点5岁
Twenty-one. - ...and a half.
二十一岁点五
Twenty-one-years old and a half.
是 - 是的
Yeah. - Yep.
我们那个方程得到了相同结果
We got the same thing with the equation on that one.
但是问题是如果她稍微小一点呢
Here's the thing. What if she's slightly younger?
我能跟小一点的约会吗
Can I go out with someone younger than that?
拜托你完全可以
Please, you totally can.
是
Yeah.
Tom说没问题
Tom says it's okay.
那大概意味着有问题
That probably means it isn't okay.
谢谢你再次见我
Thank you for meeting with me again.
我根本不知道我想说什么
I don't even know really what I want to say.
但我猜我就是不理解吧
But I guess I just don't get it.
你知道我们的关系挺好的
You know, our relationship was so great.
Mark 诚实说确实很好
Mark, honestly, it was really nice.
但可能你觉得关系很好
But maybe you thought it was so amazing,
因为你从没和谁约会这么久过
because you've never dated someone for so long before.
但举个例子我们从来不吵架
Well, but for example, we barely ever fought.
那不是个好信♥号♥♥ 你有时候是需要吵的
That's not a good sign. You're supposed to fight sometimes.
你需要惦记另一个人
You're supposed to miss the other person
即使他们才刚刚离开20分钟
even if they're only gone for 20 minutes.
我就是感受不到这些你呢
And I just didn't feel that. Did you?
天我应该多吼你一些的
Man, I should have yelled at you way more.
Paul打电♥话♥了他们来了
Well, Paul just called. They're on their way.
哦天他们要开始开人了对吧
Oh, God. They're going to fire people, aren't they?
我只有两年就能拿到养老金了
Yeah, I am two years from my pension.
放松 Jerry 我们还不知道呢
Relax, Jerry. We don't know that.
或许这些人会乐于助人令人愉快呢
Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant.
有人吗
Hello?
死神啊
Death!
离婚申请
Divorce filings?
四楼
Fourth floor.
你好你好嘿你好吗
Hello, hello. Hey, how are you?
你好 - 嗨
Hello, there. - Hi.
Chris Traeger 这位是Ben
Chris Traeger. This is Ben.
你们好先生们 Ron Swanson
Hello, gents. Ron Swanson.
Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson.
好吧
Okay.
我是副主任Leslie Knope
I'm Deputy Director Leslie Knope.
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope.
能来这里太棒了
It is fantastic to be here.
先生们想参观下吗
Would you gentlemen like a tour?
我在这世上真的没有更想做的事了
There is quite literally nothing I would rather have in the world
比起在伟大的Pawnee市公园与游憩部门参观
than a tour of the Parks and Recreation Department of the great City of Pawnee
还有Ron Swanson和Leslie Knope作为导游
led by Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope.
好
Okay.
Ben - 我不觉得这是个好主意
Ben? - I don't think that's a great idea.
我们开始吧 - 好的
Let's do it! - Great!
Chris是我见过最积极的州预算审计顾问了
Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I have ever met.
我是说我刚刚跟他眼神接触
I mean, I made eye contact with him,
就像是在直视太阳
and it was like staring into the sun.
人们我们是从印第安纳波利斯州预算办公室来的
People, we are here from the state budget office from Indianapolis.
哦这意味着什么呢
Ooh. What does that mean?
简单来说我们在这修补你们的预算
Look, simply we are here to tinker with your budget.
把政♥府♥想象成一个坏掉的旋转木马
Think of the government as a broken-down carousel.
我们要涂上一层新的油漆
We're going to slap on a new coat of paint,
我们要修好坏掉的扬声器
we are going to fix that broken speaker system,
我们要把那些开心的孩子们
and we are going to get those happy kids
重新送上他们属于的木马
back up on the horses where they belong!
好吗 - 好
Okay? - Yeah.
好吗 - 好
Okay? - Okay.
是听起来不错 - 就这样
Yeah, that's not bad. - There it is.
我的伙伴 Ben 要在这再呆一会儿
My partner, Ben, is going to stick around for a little bit,
我稍后再来
and I will see you all later.
回见
¡Adiós!
你们有空吗
Do you have a second?
我真喜欢你的衬衫
I really like your shirt.
所以我想聊聊你们觉得
So I'd like to talk about where you think
部门里哪里有浪费
there's waste within your department.
从何开始 - 完全没有
Where do I start? - There is none.
你要具体削减那部分的开支削减多少
What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it?
我可以一边吃猪油渣一边看着你做吗
And can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?
好我们先从人事开始
Okay, let's start with personnel.
能告诉我Jerry Gergich怎么样吗
What can you tell me about Jerry Gergich?
他是这颗行星上最好的人之一他在这广受爱戴
He is one of the best people on the planet. He's universally adored here.
如果你开除他会出现叛乱的
If you fired him, there would be a revolt.
好的你需要理解仅仅为了维持当前状态
Okay, you need to understand that just to keep this town afloat,
我们可能就需要将每个部门的预算砍掉40%到50% 好吗
we probably have to cut the budget of every department by 40 or 50%. Okay?
嗯但Chris说你们只需要
Well, but Chris said that you just had to,
你知道修补一下
you know, tinker with things.
是他那么说因为听起来比
Yeah, he said that because that sounds a lot better
"我们要用大砍刀了"要强多了好吗
than "We're going to gut it with a machete." Okay?
你是个混♥蛋♥ - 抱歉你说什么
You're a jerk. - I'm sorry?
悠着点 - 抱歉这些是真实的人们
Easy. - I'm sorry. These are real people
住在一个真实的小镇在有真实感觉的真实建筑里工作
in a real town, working in a real building, with real feelings.
这栋建筑有感觉吗
This building has feelings?
可能啊这栋楼历史悠久
Maybe. There's a lot of history in this one.
可能它真有你为何对此如此冷漠呢
Maybe it does. How can you be so blasé about this?
因为这些问题不是我造成的 Knope女士
Because I didn't cause these problems, Ms. Knope.
而是你的政♥府♥
Your government did.
我从电子表格里找我想要的内容吧谢谢
I'll get what I need from the spreadsheets. Thanks.
邀请他和我一起露营的话怎么才听起来不像同性恋呢
What's a not gay way to ask him to go camping with me?
Jean-Ralphio - 老帅了大T
Jean-Ralphio. - Looking hot, Big T.
肘击问好