公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S02E11

Part 1 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.

Leslie - 怎么了 Ron
Leslie. - What's up, Ron?
我需要你去趟四楼的机动车管理局
I'm gonna need you to go up to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles on the fourth floor.
我们得说服他们免除公园货车逾期的注册费
We gotta talk ourselves out of this late registration fee for the Parks van.
不要啊我才不想去四楼啊
Come on. I don't want to go to the fourth floor.
那是地球上最毛骨悚然的地方
That is the creepiest place on Earth.
四楼很可怕
The fourth floor is awful.
车管所离婚登记缓刑工作室恶
The DMV, divorce filings, probation offices. Ugh!
他们放了个爆米花机缓解气氛
They put a popcorn machine up there just to brighten things up,
但他们用错了油
but they used the wrong kind of oil,
一堆人得去换喉管了
and a bunch of people had to get their throats replaced.
他们只和你或者我聊
They'll only talk to you or me,
而我去不了因为我不想去
and I can't go, because I don't want to.
好吧
Okay.
嘿宝你挺好看啊
Hey, boo. You're pretty.
呃谢谢你先生
Uh... Thank you, sir.
嘿妹子
Hey, girl.
你在缓刑期吗
Are you on probation?
我有干净尿液你需要女尿吗我有女的
I got clean urine. You need female? I got female.
我没事谢谢 - 嘿你干净吗我也买♥♥
I'm good, thank you. - Hey, you clean? I buy, too.
肃静肃静
Order. Order!
下个案子印第安纳州公诉...
Next case. Indiana vs...
我知道我只是跟你说
I know, I'm just telling you.
离婚法庭
Tom和Wendy吗
Tom and Wendy?
爆米花要吗
Popcorn?
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第2季第11集
第2季第11集
所以 Tom
So, Tom,
你的生活怎么样啊
how's everything in your life, generally?
太棒了冒了个险网上买♥♥了双鞋
Amazing. Took a risk. Bought some shoes online.
如你所见帅气地值了
Paid off handsomely, as you can see.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
你的那个那个机构呢你作为其中成员的
And how are your institutions, that you're a part of?
啊你听说我离婚了
Ah. You heard about my divorce?
我看到你出现在四楼了我非常非常抱歉
I saw you on the fourth floor. I'm so, so sorry.
说实话没事
Honestly, it's fine.
比艾薇儿和Sum 41那个家伙更久对吧
Lasted longer than Avril Lavigne and the guy from Sum 41, am I right?
我不知道这些是啥 Tom 别假忙了
I don't know what those are. Look, Tom, stop working.
哇
Whoa!
要是保存了就好了
Would have been nice to have saved that.
你应该自动保存的
You should've auto-saved that.
那感觉是你的错
That kind of feels like your fault.
你看我听到你接她电♥话♥时的声音了
Look, I've heard your voice when she calls you on the phone.
我看到她离开时你看着她屁♥股♥的眼神
I've seen you look at her ass when she leaves the room.
你爱她啊
You love her.
Leslie 你想做的事情我心领了
Leslie, I really appreciate what you're trying to do,
但我没事
but I'm fine.
看看我的脸你在看吗
Look, look at my face. Are you watching?
我做了点小研究
I did a little research,
发现离婚是个人生活中压力第二大的事情
and divorce is the number two most stressful event in a person's life.
当然结婚是第七所以要当心了所有人
Of course, marriage is number seven. So, watch out, everyone.
都不是好事
It's all bad.
我们得站出来帮助Tom
We have to step up, for Tom's sake.
我觉得Tom看起来没问题啊
I think Tom seems fine.
这就是问题
Well, that is the problem.
Tom总是看着像个滑头酷小子
Tom always seems like Mr. Slickster Cool Guy,
但他其实会把情绪
but he's actually hiding his emotions
埋藏在厚厚的男士香水之下
underneath a very thick layer of Axe body spray.
我们必须帮助他我们是他的安全气泡
We have to help him. We are his safe bubble.
她说得没错他的家人都不在这
She's kind of right. None of his family lives here,
他的朋友不是兄弟会就是傻瓜
and all of his friends are frat guys and morons.
这好像不关我们的事啊
This seems like none of our business.
支持一下好嘛
Be supportive, okay?
别表现得像 "不我才不想
Don't be all, like, "No, I don't want to.
"我是个男的我喜欢玩火打曲棍球和吃肉
"I am a guy and I like fire and playing hockey and eating meat!
"不不我说"
"No, no, says I!"
这个Ron模仿得真像
That was a really good Ron.
谢谢
Thank you.
我不知道怎么解释...
I don't know how to explain...
嘿 Mark
Hey, Mark.
擦鞋摊还是没有你一直问的梅毒药
The shoeshine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about.
Ann 嘿真巧啊
Ann, hey! What a coincidence!
你来这个办公室完全是执行公事吗
Are you in this office purely for business reasons?
执行私事实际上我男朋友Mark在这上班
Pleasure, actually. My boyfriend Mark works here.
他就坐在我旁边
He's sitting right next to me.
嘿 Andy
Hey, Andy.
很惊讶能见到你啊一整天每一天每一个我们在的地方
What a surprise, running into you all day, every day, every single place that we are.
我也是那我们回见
Likewise. Well, I guess I'll see you guys around.
再见啊
See you.
哦呃还有 Mark 再说一次
Oh! Uh, also, Mark, again,
我们没有你预定的那种特小号♥安全套
we don't have those extra-small condoms you ordered.
我打电♥话♥给工厂了需要特别定制
I called the factory, it's gonna take a special order.
不光是因为大小还有奇怪形状的原因
Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well.
他们之前没处理过我们回聊
Something they've never dealt with before. We'll talk.
Mark从没找我问过小号♥奇形怪状的安全套
Mark never asked me for any small, weirdly-shaped condoms.
我编的
I made that up.
每一天我巧妙地损害他们的感情
Every day, I subtly chip away at their relationship.
一点一点地破坏
Weakening it, little by little.
Tom Haverford在哪呢
Where's Tom Haverford?
我的阎王啊
For **** sake.
*所以你离婚了当然了必须了*
So, you had a divorce, of course, of course
*没人能享受离婚的必须了*
And no one enjoys a divorce, of course
我不知道怎么做啊
I don't know what to do, man.
我不能说 "嘿 Leslie 是绿卡婚姻啦我好得很"
I can't be like, "Hey, Leslie, it's a green card marriage, I'm fine."
你知道 Leslie觉得你是只受伤的动物
You know, Leslie just thinks you're a wounded animal,
所以她的母性本能开始运作了这是你要做的
so her female instincts are kicking in. Here's what you do.
表现悲伤让她拔掉你爪子上的刺
Act sad, let her pull the thorn out of your paw
给你包扎伤口
and wrap a bandage around it.
这样她就安心了她就不会折腾你了
That'll make her feel better. She'll get off your jock.
你还是不能告诉任何人绿卡的事
You still can't tell anyone about the green card thing.
显然离婚之后还是会碰上麻烦的
Apparently you can get in trouble even after a divorce.
该死没事嘿我会保守你的秘密的
Damn the man. Well, hey, your secret's safe with me.
Condoleezza Rice 美国国务卿
谢了 Rondoleezza Rice
Thanks, Rondoleezza Rice.
好的各位谣言为真 Wendy和我要分开了
Okay, everyone. The rumors are true. Wendy and I are splitting up.
是我很伤心
Yeah, I'm really hurt.
致以深切同情我的朋友
I'm so sorry you feel that way, little friend.
我们要不晚上出去下班后去玩吧怎样
Why don't we go out tonight, hit the town after work, huh?
我们定为Tom之夜你想去哪就去哪我们请客
We'll make it Tom's night. You can go anywhere you want, our treat.
哦我知道艺术馆在放很有趣的两座脚踏车纪录片
Oh, I know there's a really fun documentary about tandem bicycles at the art house.
听起来很不赖
It's supposed to be pretty unapologetic.
或者我们去个餐厅
Or we could go to a restaurant...
脱衣舞谁说过脱衣舞了吗
Strip club? Did somebody say strip club?
没... - 是谁说过脱衣舞了吗
No... - Did somebody say strip club?
你自己说的 - 我肯定听见谁说脱衣舞俱乐部了
You did. - I definitely heard someone say strip club.
你刚说的 - 亮片工厂
You just did. - Would the Glitter Factory be okay
对刚刚说脱衣舞那个人来说可以吗
with whoever suggested strip club?
我觉得这不太好 Tom
I don't think that's a good idea, Tom.
Patterson有个很好的恐龙主题餐厅叫侏罗纪刀叉
There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork.
我过去15年里每周去三次
I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.
哦恐龙哎
Ooh! Dinosaurs, huh?
好吧听起来行
All right. Sounds okay.
好的今晚大家疯起来
Okay! It's gonna be a crazy night, guys!
我们下午5:45侏罗纪刀叉见 - 是
I will see you at Jurassic Fork at 5:45 p.m. - Yes.
嗨欢迎光临侏罗纪刀叉
Hi. Welcome to Jurassic Fork,
唯一会灭绝的是你的食欲
where the only thing that'll be extinct is your appetite.
准备点单吗 - 好的
You ready to order? - Yes.
我想要牙买♥♥加风干鸡龙肉卷速食套餐