公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S02E07
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:41 a.m.
What's going on in here?
他是个混♥蛋♥ 他也太过混♥蛋♥了
He's a jerk. He's being such a jerk.
对人说这种话也太过分了
That's an awful thing to say to a human being!
你在哭吗
Are you crying?
不 我没在哭 好吗
No, I am not crying, okay?
我对混♥蛋♥过敏
I'm allergic to jerks!
好吧 Andy 出去
Okay. Andy, out.
行 反正我也无所谓 太蠢了
Fine, and I don't even care! It's stupid...
好吧 现在来真的了
Okay. The gloves are coming off.
这是什么 - 我想你知道这是什么
What's that? - I think you know what that is.
我去学校找你的时候 你吃着一颗桃子
When I came to visit you at the school, you were eating a peach.
然后我的办公室被破坏了
Then my office gets vandalized,
有人还在我桌上留下个桃核
and somebody leaves a peach pit on my desk?
我不觉得这是个巧合啊 Greg
I don't think that's a coincidence, Greg.
哇 你抓到我了
Wow, you nailed me.
因为 两个不同的人完全不可能
I mean, there's no way that two different people could have eaten the same fruit
在同一天 在印第安纳州同一块区域 吃同一种水果
in the same day, in the same area of Indiana.
更不用说你早间见我的时候我吃的是李子
Never mind that I was actually eating a plum when you saw me earlier.
我知道是你做的 我不在乎你说的什么
I know you did this. I don't care what you say.
我不在乎你整晚都在停车场呆着
I don't care that you were in the parking lot all night.
反正你找到办法闯进来...
Somehow you found a way to get in here...
等等 等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait.
你是怎么知道我整晚都在停车场的呢
How did you know that I was in the parking lot all night?
因为我跟踪你了啊 天才
Because I followed you, genius!
如果你整晚都跟着我 那你应该知道不是我♥干♥的啊
If you followed me all night then you know that it wasn't me.
Knope 你什么毛病啊
Knope, what is your problem?
我可一直都是文明的
Look, I have been very civil.
但我会给你上水刑的
But I will waterboard you.
不 不
No, no.
我觉得她当不了好警♥察♥
I don't think she would make a good cop.
我在她当警♥察♥的镇上生活会很害怕的 实话讲
I would be frightened to live in a town that she's the cop of, frankly.
你在干什么呢
What are you doing?
Ann 你是想让我活跃气氛还是怎样
Ann, do you want me to liven things up or not?
当然想 - 那就淡定下
Of course I do. - All right, then relax.
关掉所有没颜色的灯泡
And turn off all the lights that don't have colored bulbs.
好吧 把猪肉卷都先卷到一边吧
All right, y'all! Take the pigs in the blanket and put them to sleep!
现在该荡起来了
It's time to get wild!
把这些家具搬出去 我们搞个舞池出来
Get this furniture out of here, y'all, we're making a dance floor.
来吧 把火鸡卷也放下 差不多要荡起来了
Come on, y'all. Put the turkey wraps down. We're about to get wild.
Ron Swanson也在这里哟
Ron Swanson's in the building, y'all!
他妈妈马上要来了 拜托了 Dave 逮捕他
His mom's gonna be here soon. Please, Dave, just arrest him.
以什么名义啊
On what charge?
先铐起来再说吧
Just handcuff him to something.
Greggy Greg
Greggy? Greg!
Gregsy - 妈
Gregsy! - Mom!
Pikitis夫人 你好 我是Leslie Knope 这位是Sanderson警官
Mrs. Pikitis? Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, this is Officer Sanderson.
Bert Macklin FBI
Bert Macklin, FBI.
你们觉得自己在干嘛
What the hell do you think you're doing?
你们不能违背意愿监禁一个16岁的小孩
You can't just hold a 16-year-old kid against his will.
我们只是在问他破坏公物的事情
Well, we were trying to question him about this vandalism.
你们有什么证据吗 - 有啊
Do you have any evidence? - Yes.
不 不 我们没有 - 两个字 桃核
No. No. We don't. - Two words, peach pit.
桃核? - 他的DNA全在上面了 我假设
Peach pit? - His DNA is all over it, I assume.
我们并不知道 - 我们可以去检测
We don't know that. - We can get it tested.
我们不能 - 如果符合你的DNA
We can't. - And if it matches your DNA,
那你要蹲很久的监狱了 - 他不会
then you're going away for a long time. - It won't.
这是个玩笑吗
Is this a joke?
不 - 我要打给你的值班指挥官
No. - I'm calling your shift commander.
周一早上 我要打给你的老板
Monday morning, I am calling your boss.
我不知道举报你要给谁打电♥话♥
I don't know who to call about you...
美♥利♥坚♥合众国总统
The President of the United States of America.
行啊 如果你们任何人再接近我儿子
Fine. And if any of you ever come near my son again,
向上帝发誓我会把你们和这栋楼里的每个人都告了
I swear to God I will sue you and everyone in this building.
走吧 亲爱的
Come on, honey.
让他们觉得他们赢了 然后...
Let them think they've lost us. Then we're...
你要去哪
Where are you going?
我得去跟我头说一声为何非法关押了一个少年
I gotta go tell my boss why I illegally detained a teenager.
我不该掺和这事的
I shouldn't have gotten involved with this.
这是 这是错误的警♥察♥工作
It's just... It's just bad police work.
是啊 这也是错误的FBI工作 我的错
Yeah, it was bad FBI work, too. My bad.
今晚 T-Pain里的"T"代表"Tom Haverford"
Tonight, the "T" in T-Pain stands for Tom Haverford!
护士大战医生 听我口令
Nurses versus doctors. On my mark,
三 二 一
Three, two, one.
伏特加 - 开始
Vodka! - Go!
孩子 这套衣服也太赞了
Son. That is one hell of a costume.
谢谢
Thanks.
天啊 真好看 聚会不错
Damn, that's good. Nice party.
谢谢
Thanks.
为什么会有人这么做
Why would anyone do this?
孩子就是孩子 所有人高中都做过这种蠢事
Kids are kids. Everybody does stupid stuff like this in high school.
我没有啊
I didn't.
是啊 不过你可能是个书呆子吧 哈
Yeah, but you were probably a nerd, though, huh?
怎么说话呢 - Leslie 我是好意
Hey. - Leslie, I mean that in a good way.
看看你现在 你可是我见过最酷的人了
Look at you now. You're the coolest person I've ever met.
摇滚歌♥手
我还见过John Cougar Mellencamp呢
I even met John Cougar Mellencamp once.
Andy 要不你回家吧 我把这打扫干净
Andy, why don't you go home? I'll finish cleaning this up.
没门 你给我搞到这个工作
No way. I mean, you got me a job
你帮我改变了生活的轨迹
and you're helping me turn my life around.
你回家我再回家
I go home when you go home.
呃 是城市规划 基本上就是调节一些东西
Uh, it's city planning. It's mostly like regulating things
保证人们遵守城市规定
and just making sure people obey the city code.
你想出去吗 去我家
You wanna get out of here? Go back to my place?
啥 不 我在和Ann约会呢
What? No. I'm dating Ann.
很好 这是个测试 你通过了
Good. That was a test. You passed.
我们庆祝下你通过测试吧 去我家 喝一杯
Let's celebrate you passing the test, over a drink, at my place.
不 还是不
No. Still no.
你通过了第二次测试 不过我们还是会盯着你的
You passed the second test. But we're still watching you.
所以 你想出去吗 去我家
So, you wanna get out of here, go back to my place?
嘿 Ron
Hey. Ron.
你好 Wendy
Hello, Wendy.
你和Tom真的把气氛炒起来了
Well, you and Tom really turned the party around.
我们在一起挺开心
We have a good time together.
Tom告诉我你已经知道绿卡婚姻的事了
Tom told me that you know about our green card marriage.
我想谢谢你没跟任何人说
And I just want to say thank you for not telling anyone.
不用担心 我也不想你必须回加拿大
No worries. I'd hate for you to have to go back to Canada.
那边的社♥会♥主♥义♥医疗真的是
All that socialized medicine up there.
Wendy小甜甜 你去哪了
Wendylicious. Where have you been?
我正在感谢Ron 你知道的 没告诉其他人
I was just thanking Ron. For, you know, not telling anyone.
哦 是哦 谢谢你 确实挺好的
Oh, yeah. Thank you. That was cool of you.
你已经不用保密太久了
You know, you won't have to keep it a secret much longer,
因为过几个月我们就会在人不注意的情况下离婚的
because in a few months we can split up without raising any eyebrows.
我们会邀请你来离婚聚会的
And we'll invite you to the divorce party.
哈 没准Greg真是无辜的
Huh, maybe Greg is innocent.
如果是这样 那就还有个孩子在外面折磨我
If that's the case, then there's another kid out there who's tormenting me.
可能吧
Maybe.
我相信在这个国家 证明你有罪之前都是清白的
I believe that you're innocent until proven guilty in this country.
这是民♥主♥的基石
That's the cornerstone of democracy.
当然
Sure.
另一方面 Greg Pikitis是个小混♥蛋♥
On the other hand, Greg Pikitis is a little punk.
我有点想朝他家扔卫生纸
And I kind of wanna TP his house.
我们干吧
Let's do it.
晚上11:47
等等 等等 这也挺好玩 挺好玩的 我怎么做
Wait, wait! Wait, wait! This is fun! This is fun! What do I do?
你就抓一卷卫生纸
You just grab the toilet paper,
像这样稍微展开一点点
unroll it a little bit like this,
然后扔上树
and throw it on the tree.
这是为了Percy市长 这是为了公园部办公室
This is for Mayor Percy! This is for the Parks Department office!
这是为了在手球场上拉屎
This is for pooping on the handball court!
耶 这也太好玩了 不过我不会宽恕这种行为
Yeah! This is really fun! But I don't condone it!
再见啦 伙计们 - 再见
Bye, guys. - Bye.
你是那个 Swanson 感谢来玩
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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