公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S02E17
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:42 a.m.
Another organization giving you credit for something you didn't do?
"我 Ron Swanson 认为
"I, Ron Swanson, recognize that
“Leslie Knope应该获得IOW奖
"Leslie Knope should have received the IOW Award
"由于她的勤恳工作
"for all the hard work she has done,
"尤其是雅典娜营的工作
"especially for the Camp Athena project.
"但在我看来
"However, in my opinion,
"她过于在乎这些机构的满足"
"she is far too concerned with institutional gratification."
不 我没有
No, I'm not.
"所以 我准备让她吊一下
"So, I am going to let her dangle
"来告诉她奖项都是狗屎"
"in order to show her that awards are bull crap."
行啦 Leslie 你知道我不是性别歧视 我爱女强人
Come on, Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women.
你确实看过了多得惊人的女NBA比赛
You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games.
我只是想说颁奖都很政♥治♥化 每个人都有小算盘
I'm just saying that awards are political, and everybody has an agenda.
如果你一生追逐这些 会把自己逼疯的
If you spend your life chasing them, you'll drive yourself nuts.
啊 是哦 但Dorothy Everton Smythe是个开拓性的女性主义者
Yeah, all right. But Dorothy Everton Smythe was a trailblazing feminist.
她是Pawnee第一个周日穿裤子的女性
She was the first woman in Pawnee to wear pants on a Sunday.
她因此坐过四年牢呢
She spent four years in jail for that.
我知道我不该在乎这些东西
I know I'm not supposed to care about these things,
但是这个奖意义重大
but this one means a lot.
*我知道你在改变*
I know you've been changing
卫生间的混响太屌♥了
The acoustics in the bathroom are insane.
所以 这里是多少钱来着
So, how much is this one again?
这套是425刀一个月 加上公共设施费用
This one is $425 a month, plus utilities.
我喜欢 看起来有很多潜力
I like it. It seems to have a lot of potential
还有很多"优势" 本身
and a lot of "advantages," per se.
我完全能想象自己在那边做什么
I could definitely picture myself doing something over there.
你能听见吗
Can you hear that?
那是啥
What is that?
还开着呢
It's still on.
你可以点根火柴把味道去掉
You can light a match to get rid of that smell.
我对此感觉挺好
I feel really good about this.
是吗
Really?
它喊着Andy Dwyer
It screams Andy Dwyer.
而且我也住附近 我们可以 拼车上班之类的
And I live nearby. So, we could, like, carpool to work or something.
你认真的吗 - 是啊
Are you serious? - Yeah.
喊声更响亮了
The scream just got louder.
所以 你觉得如何
So, what do you think?
我不知道 开个价吧
I don't know. Make me an offer.
好的 先到先得 谁加入 Jerry
Okay. First come, first served. Who's in? Jerry?
哎呀 Tom
Jeez, Tom,
要花25块以上 我得向我老婆申请
if I spend any more than 25 bucks, I gotta ask my wife.
Jerry 出去
Jerry, get out.
好吧
Okay.
"Mark 我们今晚做什么"
"Mark? What are we doing tonight?"
"我不知道 Ann
"I don't know, Ann.
"我们可以像往常一样无聊地吃点鸡肉沙拉
"We could do the usual boring stuff like eat some chicken salad
"加饼干 或者看看付费电视
"with some crackers, or watch the pay-per-view,
"或者我们可以去我的夜店跳跳舞"
"or we could go to my nightclub and do some dancing."
我不觉得啊 兄弟
I don't think so, man.
你永远不用再求着做♥爱♥了
You'd never have to beg for sex again.
我不想详细说 但我现在也不用求的
I don't wanna get into this, really, but I don't beg for sex now.
不提这个了 Mark 你加入吗
Forget about that, Mark. Are you in or out?
这就不是我喜欢的事
It's just not really my thing.
拜 Mark
Bye, Mark.
Cindi
Cindi.
Donna呢
Donna?
可能吧 我喜欢蛇洞
Maybe. I like The Snakehole.
另外 把我的大奔停在所有人停车位会很有面儿
Plus, I would look good pulling into my owner's parking space in my Mercedes.
澄清一下 你不会成为所有人
Just to be clear, you wouldn't be an owner, per se.
你 我和我哥们Jean-Ralphio 各自拥有一小部分
You, me and my boy, Jean-Ralphio, would each own part of a share.
现金还是支票
Will that be cash or check?
没那么快 我想知道我在和谁做生意
Not so fast. I like to know who I'm in business with.
我要见见你的那个人
I want to meet your boy.
在这 这个女的来了
In here. This lady's here.
你好 我是Elise Yarktin 我是IOW的
Hi, I'm Elise Yarktin, I'm with the IOW.
我是年度女性 Ron Swanson
I'm Woman of the Year, Ron Swanson.
是的 我知道 我们非常激动能将Smythe奖颁给您
Yes, I know. We are very excited to be presenting you with the Smythe Award.
这就是我联♥系♥你的原因
That's what I called you to talk about.
我不知道我能否承受这种激动
I don't know if I can take all of the excitement.
所以 我觉得奖应该颁给这位Knope小姐
So, I think the award should go to Miss Knope, here.
你好
Hello.
她是真正值得得奖的人
She's the one who really deserves it.
雅典娜露营是她的点子 她做了所有工作 你们犯了个错
Camp Athena was her idea. She did all the work. You made a mistake.
我们没有犯错
We didn't make a mistake.
我们非常清醒地决定今年选择一个男性
We made a very conscious decision this year to choose a man.
为什么
Why?
嗯 每年 我们都颁给女性 但其实 根本没人在乎
Well, every year, we give it to a woman, and, frankly, nobody cares.
是 媒体只把我们写成一个小型的兴趣团体
Yeah, the media has all but written us off as a niche interest group.
但如果你把一个女性奖项颁给一个大胡子的阳刚男人
But if you give a women's award to a mustachioed, masculine man,
像你这样的 那么 最终 人们会注意的
such as yourself, well, then, eventually, people take notice.
我不想要这玩意儿
I don't want the damn thing.
我们已经给你了
Well, we're giving it to you.
所以 你要收下 像个男人一样
So, you're gonna take it, like a man.
所以祝贺你
So congratulations.
IOW是一群性别歧视的混♥蛋♥
The IOW is a bunch of sexist jerks
都该滚回属于他们的厨房♥里
who need to get back in the kitchen where they belong,
把真正的女权工作留给真正的女权者 比如Ron Swanson
and leave the real feminist work to actual feminists like Ron Swanson!
哦我的天哪 发生了什么
Oh, my God! What is happening?
你现在看到这些事情有多扯淡了吧
Now do you see how silly these things are?
难以置信
Unbelievable.
很明显 我会拒绝
Obviously, I'm just gonna decline it.
不 我需要你接受
No, I want you to accept it.
我需要你走上领奖台说说奖项都有多蠢
I want you to go to the podium and talk about how stupid awards are.
他们多浅薄而无用
And how they are superficial and meaningless.
我希望你撕烂奖项的屁♥股♥
I want you to rip awards a new a-hole!
现在我们聊上了 我跟你说 你写演讲词
Now we're talking. I tell you what. You write the speech.
千万别保留
Don't pull your punches.
我不会的 我会毫无保留
I won't. I'm gonna push my punches
直到我什么都不剩
as far as my fists can extend!
好姑娘 有点
Attagirl. Kind of.
咋样啊 大T 等等
What up, Big T! Stop.
这一定是可爱的Donna
This must be the lovely Donna.
"星"会
"A-"chanté.
听着 美人 我们开门见山 好吧
Listen, beautiful, let's cut the bull, right?
你想要这个 我肯定想要这个
You want this. I definitely want this.
TH想要这个
T.H. wants this.
我们解决这个恶魔的3P问题 就在这 就现在
Let's seal this devil's three-way right here, right now.
第一步 我们买♥♥进这个俱乐部
Step one, we buy into this club.
第二步 我们滚去俱乐部
Step two, we roll over to the club,
要不坐在你的梅赛德斯奔驰里 要不搭我的二手讴歌♥里程
either in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend.
第三部 我把你拽进舞池
Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor.
然后就 跳 跳 跳 跳
Just bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
*然后所有女士都说* 跳 跳 跳 跳 跳
Now, all the ladies say it Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
你意下如何 性感美人
What do you say, sexy?
我退出
I'm out.
为什么啊 - 我讨厌这个人
Why? - I hate that guy.
Swanson先生 您好 欢迎莅临IOW颁奖礼
Mr. Swanson. Hi, welcome to the IOW Awards,
恭喜获奖
and congratulations on winning.
耶
Yay!
这是您的奖项袋
Well, here is your awards packet,
请您跟我过来
and if you will just follow me,
我们在仪式之前有一个小型见面会
we're gonna have a little meet-and-greet before the ceremony.
好 - 棒
Okay. - Great.
不行 抱歉 这个区域只为获奖者开放
No, I'm sorry. This area is for award winners only.
别自以为是 Elise
Get over yourself, Elise.
继续写演讲稿 我们搞定这些女人
Work on the speech. Let's nail these women.
你知道我意思 - 知道
You know what I mean. - Yeah.
我不知道 Andy 这些都是为了啥 有啥秘密
I don't know, Andy. What's it all about? What's the secret?
是啊
Yeah.
成为大亨就这么难吗
Why's it so hard to become a mogul?
我这辈子就只想在每个大洲都有家夜店
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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